Physical age vs. Soul age

[Mestena]

Greetings all,

 

I am looking to start a dialogue regarding age differences in romantic situations. I have recently found myself very attracted to a man quite a bit older than myself (27 years older), and thought I'd throw this one out there for comment. What are your views? What would you do? What can you tell me about the ramifications?

 

Much love,

Mestena

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Greetings all,

 

I am looking to start a dialogue regarding age differences in romantic situations. I have recently found myself very attracted to a man quite a bit older than myself (27 years older), and thought I'd throw this one out there for comment. What are your views? What would you do? What can you tell me about the ramifications?

 

Much love,

Mestena

 

As long as your roughly 20+ it shouldn't really matter. Don't expect it to be necessarily long term though, not impossible mind you. By long term I'm meaning resulting in marriage by the way.

[Mestena]

This guy is everything I have ever wanted in a man; he's smolderingly sexy, deep, philosophical, jack of all trades, good stable job, owns his own house, spiritually and politically compatible, well read and educated, extremely interesting, easy to talk to, chivalrous, kind, compassionate, sensitive, strong, decisive...The list goes on and on. I go to spend an hour with him, visiting, and it never fails to turn into 6 or 8 hours of conversation. I just can't get enough, and the energy exchange between us is very comfortable and VERY intense...

 

I am 22; he is 49.

 

My feelings for him are out in the open. We've discussed it, and it's mutual.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

This guy is everything I have ever wanted in a man; he's smolderingly sexy, deep, philosophical, jack of all trades, good stable job, owns his own house, spiritually and politically compatible, well read and educated, extremely interesting, easy to talk to, chivalrous, kind, compassionate, sensitive, strong, decisive...The list goes on and on. I go to spend an hour with him, visiting, and it never fails to turn into 6 or 8 hours of conversation. I just can't get enough, and the energy exchange between us is very comfortable and VERY intense...

 

I am 22; he is 49.

 

My feelings for him are out in the open. We've discussed it, and it's mutual.

 

It's common, don't think about it too much. Sounds like you will both continue to enjoy each others company a lot. You know in general the big issue is usually social acceptance, frankly speaking social acceptance is something to go beyond, not something to bow down to(just my opinion). But, you may well find from his point of view, maybe career wise, that it may not be an out in the open thing. You should find this out first, to save yourself any possible disappointment/heartache.

 

As long as both people understand from the beginning what is expected from each other, and will be possible/not possible within the framework of that relationship, then it's all well and good, and no ones business but your own. If he's a good guy, he will deal with your concerns directly, without giving a politicians answer, meaning he wont avoid your questions with non-committal responses; if he does give you non-committal responses then I'd be a bit careful if I were you.

[Tao99]

Sounds great. Good for you!

[Ohm-Nei]

Oh sweetheart, I've been meaning to tell you... I'm married.

[~jK~]

Greetings all,

 

I am looking to start a dialogue regarding age differences in romantic situations. I have recently found myself very attracted to a man quite a bit older than myself (27 years older), and thought I'd throw this one out there for comment. What are your views? What would you do? What can you tell me about the ramifications?

 

Much love,

Mestena

Many cultures are based on the older man/younger woman relationship - And the opposite.

In USA - it is the Native American Indians... Who follow a more strict path of nature.

 

Older man is more steady, calm, reliable, responsable, wealthy, educated, understanding and ready to have children. They are better leaders, will value you much more, will remain disease free- etc

 

Younger woman is ready for family and needs the above as do her children.

 

Man almost always dies before woman but with age difference - she is still young enough to then pick a younger man which also needs someone more steady, leadership ability, calm, reliable, responsable, wealthy, educated, understanding, will value you much more, will remain disease free- etc.

 

Young men think with their privates - not with their head...

Children need a grandfather -much- more than a modern father.

I'm about 45, have sailed to and around Hawaii and traveled the world - but will not do it again...

By the time you pass on - he will be ready for a younger woman.

 

Older women have one secret- Johnson's Baby oil (unscented) on -their- privates http://johnsonsbaby.com/product.do?id=74

 

18 years ls is a good age to begin looking for boys - genetic background is a must for intelligent children.

Ask an older man to hypnotize you and you will learn his secret desires as you drastically reduce your mistakes.

Watch "The Mentalist": subtitled: Russett Potatoes Episode 18 and see his reaction.

It can be found on this website for a few weeks more: http://drama.tvb.com/thementalist/?vdo=102147

 

Another key is the timming of the moon -your pheromones- will be at their height on Lunar calendar date 20 through 30. Here is the Lunar Calendar I use a Chinese one that has also numbered dates for standard calendar - as well as the Chinese: http://www.lunarcal.org/ here is the chinese writing for 1,2,3 一,二,三, fifteen is: 十五 Twenty is 二十

Write me if any problem with the calendar - the rest is up to you.

[Mestena]

Nope...No hiding me away from public scrutiny or wives he forgot to mention. I have been introduced to all of his friends and even his mother, whom I quickly made friends with. I have been pulled into his social circle and family with open arms, because, incidentally, we know many of the same people.

 

I spend most of my social time with people around his age; my best friend is 53 years old. I have never really enjoyed the company of people my age, nor have I been able to find any sort of connection with them, because 'like, I don't like, party duuuuuuuuuuuude'. Maybe it's because I was homeschooled, so was never thrust into my peer group?

 

There are no red flags, and I don't get the feeling that he's keeping anything from me, nor am I keeping things from him. He has had complete respect for me and nothing but chivalry and gentlemanly behavior...No pressure, no games, no manipulation...Just many long nights at the kitchen table over a glass of wine or a cup of tea, discussing politics, survival skills, the I-Ching, past mistakes, dreams, desires, the music that we both like to play...If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat, but I don't think I ever will. There is a level of refinement and confidence in this man that I think only comes with years.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Nope...No hiding me away from public scrutiny or wives he forgot to mention. I have been introduced to all of his friends and even his mother, whom I quickly made friends with. I have been pulled into his social circle and family with open arms, because, incidentally, we know many of the same people.

 

I spend most of my social time with people around his age; my best friend is 53 years old. I have never really enjoyed the company of people my age, nor have I been able to find any sort of connection with them, because 'like, I don't like, party duuuuuuuuuuuude'. Maybe it's because I was homeschooled, so was never thrust into my peer group?

 

There are no red flags, and I don't get the feeling that he's keeping anything from me, nor am I keeping things from him. He has had complete respect for me and nothing but chivalry and gentlemanly behavior...No pressure, no games, no manipulation...Just many long nights at the kitchen table over a glass of wine or a cup of tea, discussing politics, survival skills, the I-Ching, past mistakes, dreams, desires, the music that we both like to play...If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat, but I don't think I ever will. There is a level of refinement and confidence in this man that I think only comes with years.

 

It seems like nothing to lose then, and everything to gain. So I'm kind of wondering now....... why the question?

[longrhythm]

It seems like nothing to lose then, and everything to gain. So I'm kind of wondering now....... why the question?

 

 

I'd bet it's because "If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat"

 

My roommate is in something like this- although I don't think she has quite the depth of character that I get the feeling you have Mestena. Then again neither does her older guy.

 

In any case the thought that popped up in my head which I felt compelled to share had to do with your subject.

 

Physical vs. Soul. I'd say on a soul level you already know what a great connection you have. Now you're thinking about starting a physical relationship- and I suspect that's where the desire for the 20 yr old packaging comes in. It makes perfect sense. I'll say that generally I struggle to find women my age that can relate to my perspectives, and although I've had some great connections with older women that really understood and appreciated where I was coming from- I still default back to the less satisfying emotional bond with the more satisfying physical bond that I find in most women my age. It's funny it almost seems like a spectrum. Physical vs mental attraction and the hardest thing is to find a balance. I've had a few like that but it's been rare indeed.

 

Either way good luck girl.

[Marblehead]

Hi Mestena,

 

Sounds like you have something great going on with your man. Live it and enjoy it as long as you can.

 

Best wishes for a very long relationship.

 

Peace & Love!

[Apech]

I don't see why you should deny yourself an enjoyable relationship just because of the age difference. Society's opinion is IMO not worth listening to. I suppose that if you see this as a long term relationship you will have to think about what will happen when he is ancient and you are still young. But if you are ok with that then that's all that matters.

[C T]

This guy is everything I have ever wanted in a man; he's smolderingly sexy, deep, philosophical, jack of all trades, good stable job, owns his own house, spiritually and politically compatible, well read and educated, extremely interesting, easy to talk to, chivalrous, kind, compassionate, sensitive, strong, decisive...The list goes on and on. I go to spend an hour with him, visiting, and it never fails to turn into 6 or 8 hours of conversation. I just can't get enough, and the energy exchange between us is very comfortable and VERY intense...

 

I am 22; he is 49.

 

My feelings for him are out in the open. We've discussed it, and it's mutual.

Jump right in with all your heart and soul Mestena.. Hesitation is the 'thief' that 'steals' spontaneity.

Age cannot, and should never be a factor - how could it be? I mean, we are talking about romance

and love right? These are imponderable affairs of the heart, beyond analysis, and definitely beyond

something so silly as 'oh! and btw, there is this age gap..' thingy.

 

Before i clicked on this thread, i had a strange feeling it would be one that i could totally relate to,

and it was spot-on.. my girlfriend is 22 and i am 49! So there you go girl! Make it happen!!

 

We have been together 2 years, and its still like we met only yesterday! I know it sounds pretty

cliched, but if two people can look at one another each morning with 'new' eyes, like, "Hey stranger..",

(another cliche: Each dawn IS a new day right?) then everything's gonna be exciting and fresh.

Even the mundane takes on a new shine of mundane-ness, if you know what i mean..

 

Its gonna be all good Mestena. Your sense of wonder will make him laugh and cry with joy, and he will

begin to feel like he is 20 again, and before you know it, he will start to think, feel and act younger.

Nothing to worry about. Really.

 

For me, the key to a strong and lasting relationship is acceptance and gratitude. Acceptance towards

the other's individuality and all the little bits attached to it that at first we are not used to, and gratitude

for all the little bits that we simply adore, and cant get enough of. That's the secret, imho.

 

Remember - Greet each day with the eyes of a child..

 

All the best.

[wen]

[mYTHmAKER]

Nope...No hiding me away from public scrutiny or wives he forgot to mention. I have been introduced to all of his friends and even his mother, whom I quickly made friends with. I have been pulled into his social circle and family with open arms, because, incidentally, we know many of the same people.

 

I spend most of my social time with people around his age; my best friend is 53 years old. I have never really enjoyed the company of people my age, nor have I been able to find any sort of connection with them, because 'like, I don't like, party duuuuuuuuuuuude'. Maybe it's because I was homeschooled, so was never thrust into my peer group?

 

There are no red flags, and I don't get the feeling that he's keeping anything from me, nor am I keeping things from him. He has had complete respect for me and nothing but chivalry and gentlemanly behavior...No pressure, no games, no manipulation...Just many long nights at the kitchen table over a glass of wine or a cup of tea, discussing politics, survival skills, the I-Ching, past mistakes, dreams, desires, the music that we both like to play...If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat, but I don't think I ever will. There is a level of refinement and confidence in this man that I think only comes with years.

 

So why do you hesitate. Why would you post this if there was no problem - if you didn't feel something was off.

[Tao99]

Greetings all,

 

I am looking to start a dialogue regarding age differences in romantic situations. What are your views? What would you do? What can you tell me about the ramifications?

 

Much love,

Mestena

 

I don't think shes looking for relationship advise per se but more whether there is such a thing as soul age that makes of her an "old soul" and so she enjoys the older man.

 

I'd say it's possible, even it is just because of life experience that makes some more aware of and in tune with the games and problems of earth life. And that these 'old souls' are attracted to each other.

Edited November 24, 2009 by Tao99

[Andrei]

I don't think shes looking for relationship advise but more whether there is such a thing as soul age that makes of her an "old soul" and so she enjoys the older man.

 

It could happen, not that it is in this case, maybe the older man is just sarging her

 

Here is a case of "old souls":

hVibbzkhMLk

[Sloppy Zhang]

I don't think this is a "soul" thing, I think it's a "maturity" thing.

 

Most 20 year old guys, or early 20 year old guys are NOT thinking seriously long term. They're in college, or fresh out of college, wanting to take on the world, take risks, do crazy stuff, live their lives. They may have done some crazy stuff in college, and want to continue their craziness in their professional careers, getting multi millions of dollars by the time they are 30........

 

Sufficed to say, not all of them are concerned with cultivating the things that women find attractive in a long term partner, namely- house, class, etc etc.

 

I think that this:

 

It seems like nothing to lose then, and everything to gain. So I'm kind of wondering now....... why the question?

 

I'd bet it's because "If I could find this in a 20 year old, I'd grab it in a heartbeat"

 

Is something to consider.

 

Just make sure you are attracted to him, and not just attracted to all the things he's got, if that makes any sense....

Edited November 25, 2009 by Sloppy Zhang

[Mestena]

Lots of good advice here. Thanks for the contributions.

 

Regarding the reason I asked this question; It was part public opinion survey, and also, I am using you guys as a mirror a little bit here. It's helping me to find my bearing.

 

As far as the 20 year old packaging goes, I'm not so sure. This guy has muscles developed where I didn't know men were supposed to have them. ;o) It's nice. I guess they're just not filled out well by 20.

 

Sloppy Zhang: I am not terribly concerned with material stuff. I do like that he owns his own house, because it tells me that he has his ducks in a row and has 'settled' someplace, so would probably be a pretty stable guy to be around. I have spent the past two years removing most of the material stuff from my life...All that stuff that you never own, but that instead owns you. I am not particularly keen on the idea of collecting more stuff, especially not somebody else's stuff...And, this fellow is a butcher...He's not rich by any stretch, and his life is pretty simple and clutter free. I like that about him.

 

And thank you CowTao! Your post made me grin.

[Enishi]

As long as someone is mature enough to be in a relationship, I don't see any problem with great age differences. With one married couple I know, the woman is 36 and the guy is 26, and they have one of the strongest relationships I've seen.

 

A 19 year old female friend of mine has a better head on her shoulder than most of the 30 something nurses I work with as well.

Edited November 25, 2009 by Enishi

[33865_1494798762]

Edited November 25, 2009 by Guest