Not to be the 100th guy.

[Non]

Non, honey, time is on your side. Right now your problem is that you, understandably, are interested in pretty, 23-year-old girls. And so is the entire rest of the male population. 75-year-old guys want to have sex with pretty 23-year-old girls. Married men want to have sex with pretty 23-year-old girls. They are pursued. So if you aren't out there in front, being a player, you are going to have a hard time showing up on their radar. Things will get easier for you as you get older.

 

If you march to a different drummer it will take longer for you to find girls that particularly like you. It might help if you can make your differences glamorous in some way, like the way goth guys can take being antisocial and moody and turn it into a positive (not to say you are that way).

 

 

yea well you hardly have any older women going for the younger ones..except for maybe the cougars in their 30s and 40s who can't get anyone else other than another man who has trouble with girls his own age.. and that's just a slap in the face for the men victims who had to put up with women their age wilfully being lured and "seduced" by the much older men such that those men have nowhere else to look except for the much younger themselves, but many of them don't want one that is much younger (obviously it's pedophilia) so have to settle for the much older.

 

pain in the ass. and there's all sorts of justification too like "oh women are more mature".. or "becvause those men never got any when they were younger" well duh! because all the women went for the much older men and had extremely high standards (yet that's justified also). what people are dong is keeping the men from really maturing because they are denied a basic need. it affects women too, to only want the much older men and the gangsters or "badboys".

 

But no any guy who has any kind of issue or problem is a weakling who deserves nothing but further torture. but the women on the other hand they can fake a problem and get the entire heavens and hell to help them out.

Edited November 30, 2009 by Non

[witch]

But no any guy who has any kind of issue or problem is a weakling who deserves nothing but further torture. but the women on the other hand they can fake a problem and get the entire heavens and hell to help them out.

 

When they are 23. When a woman is 43 things are very very different. You have the whole rest of your life in front of you, and things will definitely get better.

[voidisyinyang]

Witch you thought you could be my mom yet I'm 38!! haha. That's hilarious. Well with all the esrtogen mimicking chemicals it's now possible -- didn't a 7 year old get pregnant recently or was it 9 years old?

 

yeah 2 nine year old girls got pregnant in the past year -- one had the baby, the other had an abortion.

 

Still this 7 year old BOY had a baby -- or a fetus -- as well

 

http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=30046

 

When they are 23. When a woman is 43 things are very very different. You have the whole rest of your life in front of you, and things will definitely get better.

Edited November 30, 2009 by drewhempel

[Biff]

yea well you hardly have any older women going for the younger ones..except for maybe the cougars in their 30s and 40s who can't get anyone else other than another man who has trouble with girls his own age.. and that's just a slap in the face for the men victims who had to put up with women their age wilfully being lured and "seduced" by the much older men such that those men have nowhere else to look except for the much younger themselves, but many of them don't want one that is much younger (obviously it's pedophilia) so have to settle for the much older.

 

pain in the ass. and there's all sorts of justification too like "oh women are more mature".. or "becvause those men never got any when they were younger" well duh! because all the women went for the much older men and had extremely high standards (yet that's justified also). what people are dong is keeping the men from really maturing because they are denied a basic need. it affects women too, to only want the much older men and the gangsters or "badboys".

 

But no any guy who has any kind of issue or problem is a weakling who deserves nothing but further torture. but the women on the other hand they can fake a problem and get the entire heavens and hell to help them out.

 

Just about every post of yours in this thread is you admitting defeat. Negative feel sorry for me shit. If you want a girl go and get one. If she says no then there is always her sister. Women like someone who is self confident and you seem to be oozing the opposite. The best way to move forward is to grow some balls and step out of your comfort zone. If you don't you will always be sitting in your room wanking while some probably less deserving male is getting his meat smoked by a some drunk cheerleaders.

 

If your goal is to hide the sausage and you have been having no luck then why not bag a few cougars? nothing wrong with a cougar and you might learn a thing or two. Who knows, she may even have a daughter After you have got your knob wet a few times you'll get a little more confidence and it won't be so foreign.

 

Scott is right 100% about talking down to yourself. Don't do it. Watch you language and thought patterns. Change them. Be positive because you really do manifest your own shit. Learn to love yourself. By all means have a wank. Get a fleshlight and sick it between your mattress and bed-frame (and if you can't afford that you could always microwave a melon with a hole in it). When you have learned to love and accept yourself, gained some ejaculatory control and ploughed ever cougar in sight then move onto new turf. Shit try some BDSM.

 

Remember you may not be the only one on the night that is nervous. If you pay her compliments you will probably get them back so a win win. Saying things like "ok I really need a good f@!k but your face isn't really up to par.. do you mind... wearing a bag?" just isn't on.

 

Witch is right, you got loads of time on your side. If you sit on your ass though you will be 75 and wanking over school girls before you know it. Step out of the comfort zone, it won't kill you.

[immortal_sister]

if you feel sorry for yourself, if you feel self-defeated, if you are not confident, that will absolutely play against you. i think that is the most important thing to keep in mind. and by confident, i don't mean arrogant and with a big ego. i just mean sure of himself and not desperate. a desperate man is the least attractive thing for any woman with a head on her shoulders / a heart in the right place.

 

a man can be somewhat plain in appearance, but if he is confident, open and relaxed, he can attract even the most beautiful women. try it sometime.

[Non]

if you feel sorry for yourself, if you feel self-defeated, if you are not confident, that will absolutely play against you. i think that is the most important thing to keep in mind. and by confident, i don't mean arrogant and with a big ego. i just mean sure of himself and not desperate. a desperate man is the least attractive thing for any woman with a head on her shoulders / a heart in the right place.

 

a man can be somewhat plain in appearance, but if he is confident, open and relaxed, he can attract even the most beautiful women. try it sometime.

 

that's a load of BS.

 

so women dont care about anything but confidence? wht if hes a "sociopath" or any number of things.. you just want things to 'appear' ok or feel/seem ok to you.

Edited December 1, 2009 by Non

[Biff]

that's a load of BS.

 

so women dont care about anything but confidence? wht if hes a "sociopath" or any number of things.. you just want things to 'appear' ok or feel/seem ok to you.

 

If you won't even listen to a woman then perhaps you should try men. Just carry on being negative then you will get your name with an e on the end.

[NeiChuan]

oh it IS AWN!

[immortal_sister]

that's a load of BS.

 

so women dont care about anything but confidence? wht if hes a "sociopath" or any number of things.. you just want things to 'appear' ok or feel/seem ok to you.

 

i don't know why you are responding so aggressively. i did not mean "you" specifically, men in general. nowhere did i say that only confidence matters, obviously there are always many factors.

 

i don't think i understand what you mean by "you just want things to appear ok or feel ok" ??

 

 

If you won't even listen to a woman then perhaps you should try men. Just carry on being negative then you will get your name with an e on the end.

 

thank you biff indeed, instead of feeling attacked you should simply consider my advice to you. you can choose to think about it and see how it applies to your life, but if it doesn't then that is fine and simply discard it. but you should at least listen when someone is genuinely trying to give you advice.

[markern]

NON as I mentioned in the other thread at charismaarts.com they teach pickup in a very effective but still nice way. There is none of the cocky funny stuff from sosuave you tried and disliked but seemed to have some success with. Since you had some success with the cocky funny stuff you WILL have success with juggler method and you will build more generally aplicable social skills in addtion to pickup skills. Spend some time on their forum asking them questions and reading the material and watching the videos. Juggler is an incredibly nice guy. I also think charismaarts is the only PUA company that does not advertise in a cheesy way. Start wrking with in a slow but steady way. Focus first on just genreal nice conversations with random people. master that to a certain extent and then step it up to girls you are attracted to and work on the flirting.

 

Also definitively follow Santiago and Taos classes as you all live in Miami. They have both qigong, yoga, martial arts and various meditations and can help you tailor your practice to your particular needs and blast you with some energy to give you quicker results and scan your body to see where your blocks are etc. and they are nice people.

 

Do these two things steadily for a year and I promise you life will be completly different. And when you do get going with having sex with girls write a thread her or send me a pm and I will give you lots of info that you can use to make girls come in ways few others can, even if you are a beginner. As I said, do those TWO things steadily and life will get good.

 

And also go get some congitive therapy. You said before you had looked into some of the mindfulness stuff I recomended but did not find it so usefull so then I think cognitive therapy could be what you need as it will help change a lot of your destructive thinking patterns and has well documented results.

 

Also go get cranio sacral therapy. It will help remove a good part of your anxiety and it will put you in to a socially engaged" mode. Read in the thread about the stress eraser about what that means. Also consider using the stress eraser as it will do a lot of the same and so not only relax you but help balance your nervous ssytem in a way that makes you better able to act in socially inteligent ways.

[Pietro]

NON as I mentioned in the other thread at charismaarts.com...

 

I was waiting for someone to come up with pickup material. It has saved the ass (or the sausage) to so many taoists around here.

 

Generally speaking the best starting point is still:

http://www.fastseduction.com/youarenew/

 

Personally I find it quite funny to try to make positive someone who is called "Non". I mean, start getting a new username. What about "yes", or "yeah", or "if you can afford me" or "expensive". But so far Non has been pretty congruent with its username.

 

Witch is really right. You should hear her, for she speaks out of experience.

Btw, witch, do you still hate me? :-x

 

I use to be so angry at women. I thought nature was so unfair against men. It changes when you get older, and you see women who were so pretty, and so much nice in their prime suddenly start to crumble like buildings under a tornado. Taoists are usually able to hold on to their jing (and tits) longer, but for the average women... bad news. Once they are over 40 their reproductive cycle is pretty much over. And you are still there, up and running. Over 50 if they don't have a partner they can as well become lesbian. Look at who is going at dating sites. Not who the dating sites are advertising, but who actually is there. Young men, old women.

For them it is even worse, you see a situation which is potentially getting better every year, they see a long slow descent. And for some this happens after they had the whole school at their feet. They could make people double their age tremble, just by looking at them.

 

LATE EDIT:

reading better markern message I realise that I am the one late, and Non is not new to the pickup world. Sorry 'bout this.

Edited December 1, 2009 by Pietro

[freeform]

Non - your ego sees the idea of you being so 'different' as something special... it's something that makes you extraordinary!

 

So doing anything that makes you less 'different' feels like death to the ego. You'll have all manner of resistance come up fighting against that.

 

In my opinion you should go the other way - be more different!!

 

Stop trying to 'get' girls, stop trying to impress them, attract them, change yourself to make you more suitable... That is just beyond ordinary...

 

In fact

 

forget about women.

 

Find something you can do and find beautiful. Can be art, poetry, music, dance - anything - anything you would find beautiful and anything you can do in a way that's different to others... you have a huge amount of creativity trapped inside you - let it out. Focus on that - focus on creating beauty in the world, and everything else will come to you - especially women... and especially if you're 'different'...

 

Your confidence (not a show of arrogance, but a rootedness in something you believe - something you can do and do well) will grow in leaps and bounds if you focus on creating beauty in the world...

 

Oysters make pearls out of the bit of sand stuck inside that wounds them.

 

Creativity needs to be shared - music, art, dance, poetry needs to be shared - so share it.

[Aetherous]

Good idea, Freeform!

[fiveelementtao]

Non,

Women (or lack therof) is not your problem, it is only the symptom. Based on what I've read, even if you do get a girl, it will not fix you and you will probably sabotage any relationship you get based on your victim mindset. No seduction trick or quickie advice is going to fix your problem. You need counseling to face the cause of your low self esteem, bro...

[Birch]

This was kind of sad, I found.

 

Lots of women get this way about men.

 

Now why they do that is pretty complicated and society does not help.

 

I was also pretty sad to hear some "Taoist" explanations about the past their prime women. Shit.

[Aetherous]

Eh, Kate, not everyone agrees with those things. For instance, I prefer older women.

[markern]

Eh, Kate, not everyone agrees with those things. For instance, I prefer older women.

 

There is a serious MILF where I am at these days. Much more attractive then the younger girls that are here.

[Aetherous]

Yep, they really can be more attractive.

[Birch]

Thanks guys;-)

 

Define "older"

 

Anyway, back to Non's problem.

 

Attitude baby.

 

Thankfully those things can be changed. I'm presently wondering myself whether changing beliefs BEFORE changing attitude is the way to go or the other way around. Again, it's a yoga. They fit together because your "real world" experience will start reinforcing the changes you've made pretty fast.

 

Although as an aside I suspect some people just sit by their computer with their nice new attitude and don't road test it enough to get results

 

The emotional reactions you can have to your own beliefs should also be looked at as they feed back into the whole shebang. I tended towards having lots of ungrounded nervous energy and until I started looking at it a bit differently it would wreck havoc.

 

The idea of chi really helped me with that and I've had more success with acupuncture, yoga, KAP and other "chi" arts than I ever did by talking things out. Not to say that a psychologist wouldn't be useful but you want to know where that person is operating from (i.e. normative or transformative)

 

Besides, I wouldn't ask a psychologist for advice on yoga or accounting or nutrition or interior design, which have just as much impact on my wellbeing as being able to psych onself out.

 

Crap social messaging about women aside (when did it get THIS bad??) the PUA approach will probably help you a lot BUT (and I stress this) only if you change your attitude towards women into something more positive in the longer term.

 

Not every single woman should be looked at ONLY as a potential sexual partner - or the reverse - which is what you're doing when evaluating the "ugly" ones.

 

We all do this instinctively but we also have brains and hearts and minds to see people as more than this.

 

Wishing you the best!

 

Kate

[witch]

 

Not every single woman should be looked at ONLY as a potential sexual partner - or the reverse - which is what you're doing when evaluating the "ugly" ones.

 

We all do this instinctively but we also have brains and hearts and minds to see people as more than this.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by that. Every guy I meet over 18 and under 80 I think what it would be like to have sex with him. I evaluate them all. Doesn't mean that's only what I think about, of course I can see beyond men's sex appeal to whether they might make good friends. But if I'm looking for a sex partner, which Non is, of course I base my actions on their sex appeal.

[NeiChuan]

Non - The more you generalize the more you sabotage yourself.

[Birch]

Hi Witch,

 

I think that that was what I was saying in essence. Maybe I should have said it some other way as well.

 

Thanks for the headsup!

 

Kate