Down and Dirty Libido

[thaddeus]

...

[sunshine]

Man are you serious? Come on. Take mine and give me what you have...

[三江源]

.

Edited July 25, 2014 by cat

[MatthewQi]

It could be due to cultivation and so could an increased libido. Just be where you are - Know, easier said than done!

 

Matt

[thaddeus]

what an interesting question.

I've no idea what the answer is. If your sexual impulse is becoming more integrated with your feeling self, isnt that a good thing?

I wonder what makes you think you need the anonymous lust/need to cum pressure?

My practise made my libido get even more endless and strong, and I certainly know for sure that I couldnt feel any interest in opening myself to anyone energetically out of tune. I have accepted this now, even though it eliminates quite a lot of potential sexual experiences.

Maybe it is simply you are more in tune with your true needs?

 

Please forgive me if I am talking irelevance, i'm not a bloke, after all. I am fascinated to read responses from people here.

thanks for the responses. I find myself really uninterested in fantastic looking women that are 'energetically out of tune'.

[liminal_luke]

Your quandary reminds me of some stuff I've been reading in a great book called The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin. He talks about how when people change there eroticism, even in a very welcome healthy way, they often need to grieve for the aspects of their old way of being erotic that they liked. My guess is that a part of you likes how you are grooving to more spiritually evolved women. It's no doubt a part of your personal evolution, if not a direct result of the practices you are doing. But that doesn't mean your not grieving for what you've lost: animalistic anonymous passion.

Jack Morin also talks about how emotional closeness and intimacy is often at odds with lusty passion. It's a little tricky to have high degrees of both at the same time. So it makes sense that as your heart opens and you're seeking ways of being more connected in a "higher" sense that some of the lusty power seems to be seeping away. One of his ideas is that by looking closely at what turns you on in both fantasies and peak sexual experiences you've had in the past, you can figure out how you might have more animal passion with your heart-centered relatedness. Check out the book--I'm sure you'd find it interesting. Good luck!

[Mitch]

Primal Excitement and Love

 

I've experienced the same change. What I've found is that I'm moving through the heart center more, rather than a physical/sexual center. My sexual desire hasn't decreased but it has switched focus from desiring primarily a physical connection to a heart/personal connection. Not to say it wasn't there before, it just wasn't' the main theme of how I was expressing myself.

 

What has worked for me is mixing the best of both worlds. I find that exchanging love is exhilarating and deeply personally satisfying. When I say "personally satisfying" I mean the center I experience as the personal "I". The physical primal excitement is exciting and physically fulfilling but doesn't really reach into a personal connection. When I have sex that is oriented physically I don't feel very personally satisfied.

 

If I put my attention on a physical/sexual connection, then I feel a primal desire to connect. I feel the desire to physically pour myself into the other. Then once you are firmly established in this energy field of thought you can stay there or move to your heart center and connect there too. It's a bit like rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time, it takes finesse to do but the end results are spectacular. It's a way to fully express yourself through two centers at the same time. I find it harder to have a heart connection than switch to a physical connection ... I think because the heart center is more delicate and the physical energy is coarser and feels less important.

 

Another center I've been connecting with is the 3rd eye, and it seems that it's your awareness looking at the other's. It's a somewhat new experience for me so I really can't say much about it. I've been doing a lot of silent watcher meditation so maybe it's just that I'm paying more attention to awareness in general.

 

I've also find that the general group of women I'm interested in continually decreases, mostly because my energy field just doesn't resonate with as many women. If you look at women through more of a physical connection you can bring up their heart energy by connecting with it. But there is a major downside to having short relationships when you start connecting with your heart. First your heart doesn't understand that relationships end, and it hurts deeply if the other person rejects you. So starting up a heart connection then dropping it isn't really fair to the other person. Also when you bring up the other person's heart to a higher vibration the energy increase will start to release past emotional pain and that pain can either be taken on by you and worked through, or the other person will feel it (and possibly push you away) or you can pull it out and let it flow into the general environment.

 

Since my goal is to find enlightenment in this lifetime I don't think it's fair to have a long term married relationship, with the reasonable responsibilities that go with it, and the amount of time and effort that goes into cultivating enlightenment. If you are in a loving intimate relationship you aren't just cultivating for one, you are cultivating for two, because your hearts are always connected no matter how far apart you are. And if you disconnect your heart and energy body from the other then they will feel rejected on an emotional level if not on a conscious level (I know because I've done it) so either you cultivate with all their faults/sins/karma or you cultivate alone. It's hard enough to work though my own karma so I'm staying single for the time being.

 

The more I progress with empty mind meditation the more I find that my common connection with others grows further away. Their interests are no longer my interests so there is a sense of isolation because there is no one else to share your common experience with. I haven't posted in a while because most of my time has gone into empty mind meditation. I experimented with the white skeleton mediation and I developed a cyst on my foot from the poisons being drawn out. So I'm currently working on detoxing my body through the mucusless diet. Then I'll move on to a colon detox then fasting with the support of ozone and clay baths. Then I'll go back to white skeleton meditation.

[Yoda]

cool thread. Mitch, keep us posted on the WSM! That's a wild practice, for sure.

 

Maybe this is a tangent, but if I use the back channel I stay lusty and energized, however if I use the front channel for up and down then it's easy to loose the lust to more heart oriented energy. With the exclusive use of the back channel, there's nothing to absorb the energy so it bounces around like a laser beam in the death star's garbage compactor, but the front channel can absorb the energies in more emotionally stable, peaceful manner. The back channel is more powerful, faster, and flashy, but the front may end up being more useful. Just starting to focus on the front channel, so maybe this is just a stage.

 

Also, it occurs to me that the front channel may be more influencial to use in dual cultivation perhaps.

 

I think I read that the back channel is like the express train and the front channel takes the scenic route and makes all the stops.

Edited January 8, 2006 by Yoda

[Mitch]

Thanks for the advice Yoda.

 

I've been using the chakras rather than channels. I'll have to give that a try.

 

Using the front channel reminds me of using Jack Johnston's Male Multiple Orgasm and moving the erotic energy up the front of the body through the breath. I haven't done that in a long time ... be interesting to move the energy through the back channel with the breath and see what happens.

 

I've been toying with the idea of combing the white skeleton meditation with MMO. The first yoga of Naropa is meditating on two gods having sex. Master Nan recommends the "Six Yogas of Naropa" in "To Realize Enlightenment".

[Yoda]

Speaking of chakras, here's a cool quote along these lines from Trunk's site:

 

Just getting sexual vitality to "rush up the back" is insufficient, in order to integrate the "heavy-adamant portion of jing". One has to specifically integrate with the dense tissues that are immediate to the spine, which leads into the vertebral bodies themselves. Pulsing of the sacrum is the first step towards integrating jing with the whole spine, specifically the stack of vertebral bodies.

 

Well, the chakra element doesn't come out in the quote, but paying attention to the ltt while slowly exhaling is the jist of it.

[rex]

Sorry. Broke my new years resolution and I still breaking it doing this!

Edited January 10, 2006 by rex

[Mitch]

Sacral Pump

 

Cranial sacral therapists see the cranial sacral fluid (CSF) as the primary way of bringing energy into the body. I've done cranial sacral meditations and they are very balancing and healing. What I haven't done is energize the cranial sacral fluid to increase the energy level of the body. I was planning on writing an article on it, but it got pushed to the side.

 

My current energy practices are more general rather than moving energy in specific patterns. Mostly being aware of my body and empty mind. I want to better detox my body before jumping into white skeleton again.

 

Connection With Others - Response to Rex

 

I'm not clear on what you mean by "basic sanity".

 

If you mean do I find people with a general level of sensitivity of heart as mine? Then yes I do. But they tend to be more cut off from their heart center because that level of sensitivity opens them up to greater level of suffering than most people. They are pretty rare. I'll leave it at that until I understand what you are saying better.

 

Having a heart connection with someone isn't difficult even if they are at a different level of sensitivity, the feeling of separation comes more from having a different level of thought and "existing". When I see others there is a type of obsessive compulsive fixation on what current event is happening in their life and they are consumed in that thought. I can see their "awareness", its just that they are drowning in their thoughts. For us to connect on a common level it would be their awareness directly perceiving my awareness, without a massive wall of thoughts between us. Also since they are more attached to thoughts and I am less attached, my general level of value of events is different. I'm more interested in perceiving myself than finding another thought to be entertained with ... well much of the time.

 

Then there is a vague sense of disconnecting from the group consciousness. You just have a sense that you aren't part of the group anymore. It's a vague perception so I can't really elaborate on it.

[rex]

Mitch, I've been feeling rather ambivalent about posting things on public forums especially when it comes to personal experiences and commenting on experiences of others, but my enthusiasm got the better of me until I got cold feet - hence the editing of my original response. Everything you mention I can recognise and identify with. 'Basic sanity'is the term I use for the innate source of awareness reflected in our being that can be experienced as a cognisent centre of radiance at the heart centre. After the rare fleeting occasions when I've had an inkling of this I just go back to being my usual mixed up self.

[Trunk]

Well, the chakra element doesn't come out in the quote, but paying attention to the ltt while slowly exhaling is the jist of it.

 

I just added a paragraph at the end of that section:

"The sacrum, spine, brain, jing, endocrine system, nerve plexuses, energetic centers - all related, and hopefully this essay provides an effective start for exploration along this key topic."

 

Better to at least mention that this stuff all ties together (not that I know all the details of how it does, but it clearly does) to give a better idea of scope, and possible exploration.

 

About the libido thing, you might try:

- pc muscle contractions: start with just the general pc muscle. Then work at just squeezing segments of it at a time. Then work on doing a similar action with the whole "lower curve": from below the belly button, down past the urogenital diaphragm, across the pc, inside the anus (prostate), and up the sacrum through the lumbar vertebrae.

- massage at least the ducts and testicles. (edit: added)

- do "grease the groove" with standing ab-wheel. ie, like I can only do ~3 at a time, so I do 3 and then do 3 more 20 minutes later, a number of sets through the evening.

- kettlebell swings.

 

With the above, you should feel like a gorilla - and the chicks will notice.

Edited January 21, 2006 by Trunk

[neimad]

thanks for the responses. I don't want to lose that primal excitement when I see a hot looking girl. On the other hand, I find myself getting turned on by spiritual women or women I feel a heart centered connection with. So it's not a lack of libido, per se, it seems it got refined. There was a time I wouldn't have turned anyone down, especially an attractive girl. I find myself really uninterested in fantastic looking women that are 'energetically out of tune'. And that's a weird thing for me.

 

 

i understand.

for me too the desire to fuck has entirely dissapeared.

now i move from the heart, and its so much more beautiful.

 

however i feel no grief for having lost that primal excitement. instead i feel joy that i know the next time i am with a woman it will be entirely of the heart and an intimate connection.

i am content to wait as long as it needs to occur as i have no desire whatsoever to engage in anything else.

 

 

---"love is not two people looking at each other, love is two people looking in the same direction."---

[thaddeus]

i understand.

for me too the desire to fuck has entirely dissapeared.

now i move from the heart, and its so much more beautiful.

 

however i feel no grief for having lost that primal excitement. instead i feel joy that i know the next time i am with a woman it will be entirely of the heart and an intimate connection.

i am content to wait as long as it needs to occur as i have no desire whatsoever to engage in anything else.

---"love is not two people looking at each other, love is two people looking in the same direction."---

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Have you ruled out hormonal changes?

Really like your quote about love. I keep telling people a good relationship is when two people come together and create something bigger than themselves. Unfortunately, alot of relationships are just two people coming together and worse, becoming something less. Nice thought.

T

[Yoda]

I think that it's pretty natural and very healthy to swing back and forth from bliss to passion and back to bliss on any number of subjects including sexuality whether through the course of a day or a lifetime. When desire way outpaces bliss, that's when negativity and problems arise. When bliss outpaces desire, then you get bored. It's good to stay in balance and I think that the feeling of love is the sweetspot of that balance.

 

I believe that the boredom is the challenge in our non-physical state and negativity is the challenge in the physical state, but going back and forth between the two is part of keeping a good balance.

[neimad]

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Have you ruled out hormonal changes?

Really like your quote about love. I keep telling people a good relationship is when two people come together and create something bigger than themselves. Unfortunately, alot of relationships are just two people coming together and worse, becoming something less. Nice thought.

T

 

i don't mind at all.

 

i'm 24.

possibly it's hormonal changes.... but that be the case i would still attribute that to spiritual practices or seeking a healthy life. i know that meditation, exercise and healthy foods affect hormones.

 

however i don't think this change in my feelings is a 'natural' thing that happens to all men as i can easily compare myself to other men my age and older and the difference is very large.

most guys that i know who are my age talk incessantly about sex and the focus i feel is very much on the instant gratification of the act along with bragging rites. animal styles.

 

i don't deny the part of me that is an animal. our body is animal in nature and in origin. it comes out when i eat.... especially when i eat meat now, i eat as an animal, because it is the animal aspect of me that needs nourishment from food. however i go to the act of eating through intelligence and eat very healthy.... through intelligence i then let the animal instinct of eating come out.

and it would come out during the coital act i am sure too.

 

much the same as in the example of eating, to get to that place of intimacy is through the direction of the heart, once engaged through love then that primal nature can let itself come out without any fears of negative repurcussions.

 

i don't deny any part of myself, rather i just change the hierachy that dictates my behaviour.

 

to move from the heart chakra aint to deny the sex chakra or any of the others, it's just to put it at the top of the hierachary of importance, and to let the others respond accordingly to the direction the heart chooses.

 

 

a meaningful relationship is definately when two people come together and create something bigger. it's not two halves becoming one. it's two wholes becoming something even more.

i would consider a perfect partner to be a mirror of you. not a mirror of your interests, habits, hobbies, personal characteristics, etc..... rather a mirror of your goals, ideals, expectations, etc. if they reflect this side of you then no doubt you will encourage and challenge each other to constantly progress. when the encouragement, challenge, comfort and support diminishes.... then the relationship will likely finish.

 

my attitude to love, sex and intimacy have changed from both my spiritual practice, my lifestyle changes and from being aware enough to learn my lesson in my past relationship.

 

i met this girl on the weekend who was totally my mirror. we hit it off really nice straight from the beginning and she left me feeling so nice.

i don't have her number which is a shame, she has mine but she hasn't called.... i hope she does.

it's ok though cos i know i will see her again, and even should nothing occur between us, meeting her helped me to realise that there are beautiful people out there who would fit with me perfectly if i am just patient enough to wait for them.

my past relationship left me very messed up and i thought i'd never be able to find someone else like her. now in retrospect i realise that she was not a mirror for me, she provided no challenge or encouragement to me and it was inevitable that we would end.

 

 

all about the balance