Sheer overwhelming excitement

[LukeMC]

Hello everybody =)

 

I wouldn't say I'm entirely new to the sorts of things discussed on this forum- just rusty. Assuming you didn't click on this thread in search of a life story, I'll attempt to cut this one short.

 

Many months ago I was a dedicated practitioner of a discipline dedicated to movement. The goals associated with the discipline were simply to be like water in your environment, attaining the ability to adapt to any landscape and being able to move accordingly in any situation- particularly situations of reach and escape. The discipline mixes running/climbing/swinging/vaulting/jumping/dropping/etc with a sharp mentality and underlying philosophy. As a practitioner of 4 years, I was becoming quite skilled physically and very fulfilled mentally (or so I thought). I began reading into taoism and learning from as many people as I could come into contact with, wandering an undefined path with no goals other than to enjoy the journey.

 

18 months ago, I let my guard down and fell in love. A relationship which destroyed my very spirit ensued. My principles, my perspectives, my independence, I let it all go. My happiness was attached to something outside of myself and outside of my control. So far out, I might add, that it soon vanished completely and I was frequenting the doctors with unaccountably harsh depression. I was no longer training, no longer reading, no longer motivated- no longer myself.

 

However, upon digging out my old, battered Tao Te Ching and momentarily entertaining the ideas within it, I decided to go on a small trip during which I would make some very challenging decisions and swallow a lot of pride. The trip marked an enormous shift in my attitude and the end of my battle with depression. Upon ending the relationship I was in, dropping my worries, relieving myself of the burden of the past and anxiety about the future, I began picking up where I left off back in July 2008. I'm now at a point where I'm regularly reading websites such as this one, along with some old books and videos. I'm training again regularly, slowly integrating my old lifestyle back into my current circumstance, including my dieting habits, yoga practise and perspectives on life. So as I said, I'm not entirely new to this sort of thing- just rusty. Perhaps a little shaken too.

 

I'm looking forward to adding my questions and thoughts to the discussions here as I begin piecing my life back together and heading back down the path I used to walk so long ago. I'm excited to be here and thankful for all the insight you people have already offered through your posts.

 

I'd get started right away, but it's getting late and I'm feeling tired. Sleep is in order.

 

Much love

[voidisyinyang]

Yo LukeMC you'll dig this:

 

http://www.springforestqigong.com/testimonials.htm

 

Hello everybody =)

 

I wouldn't say I'm entirely new to the sorts of things discussed on this forum- just rusty. Assuming you didn't click on this thread in search of a life story, I'll attempt to cut this one short.

 

Many months ago I was a dedicated practitioner of a discipline dedicated to movement. The goals associated with the discipline were simply to be like water in your environment, attaining the ability to adapt to any landscape and being able to move accordingly in any situation- particularly situations of reach and escape. The discipline mixes running/climbing/swinging/vaulting/jumping/dropping/etc with a sharp mentality and underlying philosophy. As a practitioner of 4 years, I was becoming quite skilled physically and very fulfilled mentally (or so I thought). I began reading into taoism and learning from as many people as I could come into contact with, wandering an undefined path with no goals other than to enjoy the journey.

 

18 months ago, I let my guard down and fell in love. A relationship which destroyed my very spirit ensued. My principles, my perspectives, my independence, I let it all go. My happiness was attached to something outside of myself and outside of my control. So far out, I might add, that it soon vanished completely and I was frequenting the doctors with unaccountably harsh depression. I was no longer training, no longer reading, no longer motivated- no longer myself.

 

However, upon digging out my old, battered Tao Te Ching and momentarily entertaining the ideas within it, I decided to go on a small trip during which I would make some very challenging decisions and swallow a lot of pride. The trip marked an enormous shift in my attitude and the end of my battle with depression. Upon ending the relationship I was in, dropping my worries, relieving myself of the burden of the past and anxiety about the future, I began picking up where I left off back in July 2008. I'm now at a point where I'm regularly reading websites such as this one, along with some old books and videos. I'm training again regularly, slowly integrating my old lifestyle back into my current circumstance, including my dieting habits, yoga practise and perspectives on life. So as I said, I'm not entirely new to this sort of thing- just rusty. Perhaps a little shaken too.

 

I'm looking forward to adding my questions and thoughts to the discussions here as I begin piecing my life back together and heading back down the path I used to walk so long ago. I'm excited to be here and thankful for all the insight you people have already offered through your posts.

 

I'd get started right away, but it's getting late and I'm feeling tired. Sleep is in order.

 

Much love

[Trunk]

Luke,

 

Welcome!

 

Trunk

[LukeMC]

Yo LukeMC you'll dig this:

 

http://www.springforestqigong.com/testimonials.htm

 

I'm a die-hard skeptic when it comes to alternate medicine/healing, but with little to lose, I'll approach it with an open mind. It looks interesting and a small voice inside me is beckoning me to give it a try. Thanks for sharing it.

 

And thanks for the welcome, Trunk

 

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Yo LukeMC you'll dig this:

 

http://www.springforestqigong.com/testimonials.htm

 

Jeez, drewhempel, lighten up. It's like hitting someone with an advert the moment they arrive. Where's ya manners?

 

Welcome, LikeMC...you write well and seem to be a thoughtful person. Don't mind drew, he gets a little hopped up on ginseng sometimes...

 

SongsofDistantEarth

[LukeMC]

Jeez, drewhempel, lighten up. It's like hitting someone with an advert the moment they arrive. Where's ya manners?

 

Welcome, LikeMC...you write well and seem to be a thoughtful person. Don't mind drew, he gets a little hopped up on ginseng sometimes...

 

SongsofDistantEarth

 

 

Haha, thanks for the kind welcome

 

I don't mind the advertisement, I'm sure drew means well

[triestestudent]

Sounds like parkour! Love watching on YouTube the folks who do parkour...you can see the various animal modes of movement and i can't help but admire the courage, discipline, and body freedom exhibited.

 

Far as what you wrote about what you went through in that relationship...i am sending you if you'll accept it a huge Italiano bearhug. Been there. Done that. And yeah...it can really just...well...suck tho now so many months later i'm actually grateful for the sucky experience...the whole of it. It made me, forced me honestly, to go deeper within and look at some shadow aspects to self which now has resulted in a tremendous set of 'bearhugs' to self. Acceptance and determination to go the distance in the Now.

 

This place seems really cool!

 

Ciao - g

[LukeMC]

Sounds like parkour! Love watching on YouTube the folks who do parkour...you can see the various animal modes of movement and i can't help but admire the courage, discipline, and body freedom exhibited.

 

Far as what you wrote about what you went through in that relationship...i am sending you if you'll accept it a huge Italiano bearhug. Been there. Done that. And yeah...it can really just...well...suck tho now so many months later i'm actually grateful for the sucky experience...the whole of it. It made me, forced me honestly, to go deeper within and look at some shadow aspects to self which now has resulted in a tremendous set of 'bearhugs' to self. Acceptance and determination to go the distance in the Now.

 

This place seems really cool!

 

Ciao - g

 

It sounds like parkour for a very good reason- it is!

 

I accept the Italiano bearhug with open arms, haha. Thanks for sharing your story, I'm glad you found your feet. Hopefully in a few months time, I too will be able to look back on the experience and be thankful for it. At the moment it all looks very grim, but I'm sure that when the emotional baggage fades out I'll be able to look at the situation more objectively and see what I did learn from it. Bearhug right back at ya

[triestestudent]

It sounds like parkour for a very good reason- it is!

=========================================

Cool! i'm envious but in a 'positive' sense. It just looks so Free! And i watch the cat at home (Virgil Dante Uni-San) with suspended breath sometimes. Graceful, powerful, and free in movement.

 

Tres Cool!!

=========================================================

 

I accept the Italiano bearhug with open arms, haha. Thanks for sharing your story, I'm glad you found your feet. Hopefully in a few months time, I too will be able to look back on the experience and be thankful for it. At the moment it all looks very grim, but I'm sure that when the emotional baggage fades out I'll be able to look at the situation more objectively and see what I did learn from it. Bearhug right back at ya

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Yeah...you can't rush healing and the whole wisdom learning process, imho, but sometimes it helps just to know you are definitely not alone. Not by a long shot. And i don't want to sugarcoat it...i was so devastated by the experience that i ended up seeing a psychiatrist, getting on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds too...plus i gave up my practices for a little while until things settled back down. Everyone is different in terms of how quickly they get through these dark nights of the soul. Eventually i kept forgetting to take the meds and realized i was forgetting because i no longer needed them. The lovely psychiatrist sat me down (we were thinking the same luckily enough because i dreaded any attempt on her part to persuade me this way or that way by this X factor time) and said essentially, "I don't think you need to continue with this therapy anymore but do feel free to come back if you change your mind." She made sure i was feeling the same way and that was that.

 

Basically?...i am empathetic cuz this only took place just last spring. But yeah...i feel like i walked through the fires and am feeling the whole Phoenix energy now.

 

Sending you another Italiano bearhug and wishing you well.