Owledge Posted December 27, 2009 Taken from the movie "Next", but in case you haven't seen it... What did the Zen master say when ordering a sandwich? ... One with everything. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trailmaker Posted December 28, 2009 Taken from the movie "Next", but in case you haven't seen it... What did the Zen master say when ordering a sandwich? ... One with everything. The perfect sandwich. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted December 28, 2009 Okay, so I laughed a little. But it really was corny. Peace & Love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) A followup joke. Probably worse than the first one ... but at least I made it up by myself. What did the Aborigine father say when sending his kids to bed? Dreamtime! Edited January 1, 2010 by Hardyg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted January 1, 2010 A followup joke. Probably worse then the first one ... but at least I made it up by myself. What did the Aborigine father say when sending his kids to bed? Dreamtime! That could probably be modified to be one of those corny Zen jokes. Hehehe. Peace & Love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mal Posted January 2, 2010 A followup joke. Probably worse than the first one ... but at least I made it up by myself. What did the Aborigine father say when sending his kids to bed? Dreamtime! As an Aussie I find that pretty clever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted January 2, 2010 As an Aussie I find that pretty clever. Of course you would. I thought of you guys when I read it. Peace & Love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted March 14, 2010 And now for something completely different... Got another one and didn't want to start a new thread. This one I made myself. Fresh from the oven. Old mafia saying: All's well that ends in a well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted March 15, 2010 Here's a line from the Dao Pun Jing... You won't break through the gates with an ashram. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted March 15, 2010 A Taoist, Buddhist and Confusian walk into a bar. "Is this some kind of joke?" asks the bar tender. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted March 15, 2010 I bet the bartender is also aware of the dream when he's dreaming. I mean... how do you recognize a Buddhist, Taoist or Confucianist so easily? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted March 15, 2010 I bet the bartender is also aware of the dream when he's dreaming. I mean... how do you recognize a Buddhist, Taoist or Confucianist so easily? He recognized them because when he asked who they were they said: Taoist : "My true name cannot be spoken." Buddhist : "I am unborn and have no self." Confucian : " I have no importance." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted August 2, 2010 The optimist will say: The glass is half full. The pessimist will say: The glass is half empty. The Daoist will say: The glass is empty.* *) Because he sees everything as empty. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheSongsofDistantEarth Posted August 2, 2010 Scene: Tiruvanamalai Ashram, India Seeker: Knock Knock! Ramana Maharshi: Who's there? Seeker: Who's there? Me who? What's right? That's what I want to know! Me who? Exactly what? Exactly what on a chain? Yes what? That's what I want to know! Exactly what? Yes what? What's with you? Me who? Go away! help, moderators, stop us before it's too late!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted August 2, 2010 The optimist will say: The glass is half full. The pessimist will say: The glass is half empty. The Daoist will say: The glass is empty.* *) Because he sees everything as empty. No, it's because he drank the water that was in it. Peace & Love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel Posted August 23, 2010 How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None! The Light bulb is a part of the universe! The Zen master is one with the universe! The Zen master IS the light bulb! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted August 23, 2010 How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None! The Light bulb is a part of the universe! The Zen master is one with the universe! The Zen master IS the light bulb! The light bulb still won't change itself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel Posted August 23, 2010 The light bulb still won't change itself. Well then, we'll just assume that by the time the Zen Master is one with the universe, that he has enough Inner light to light the room himself! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted August 23, 2010 The light won't change it's resting ... its an energy saving bulb. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Owledge Posted August 23, 2010 (edited) That could become the new sarcastic saying when a device is broken: It turned green. It's in energy-saving mode. By the way, marketing knows no limit in its ridiculousness. Now there are gamer video cards labeled "Green" and "Deep Green". They are more expensive, sometimes even have the same processor clock, but allegedly lower maximum power consumption. I guess they switch something off that's not affecting the clock. Then there are others that are only available as "Green" in this performance class. You know, it would be greener to just buy a less expensive model. Oh yeah, some do that, too. They visibly reduce the quality and the price and call that green. So this fits perfectly to my joking above. And some give an overclocked version a regular name and call the standard-clocked "Green". If this goes on, then car models with the smallest engine will be called "Green Edition". (My supersport motorcycle is a green model, too ... because it has a 600 ccm engine, not the big one.) And people with the weakest brain activity will be seen as the most green. Edited August 23, 2010 by Hardyg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
