On love and sex

[Yoda]

Barry Long feels like making love. I'd be curious to hear what everyone thinks of it.

 

http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sources/b...ong_making_love

 

Okay, here we go. This is the nuts and bolts of the tao de Barry. Long article, I'll read it later.

 

http://www.wie.org/j13/barrylong.asp?page=1

[MatthewQi]

Very insightful. I believe Dr. Chang would agree with it (author of "The Tao of Sexology").

 

Although not discussed, a thought I had was that there is the divine lover within which is what we are searching for externally in another.

 

Matt

[Mitch]

Barry Long's Men are Evil View

 

Barry Long writes: "No matter how much a woman loves her man and wants to give her love to him, she will not and cannot give up all her divine energies if he is not yet himself, fully integrated or aligned with love."

I agree that if you don't feel truly safe with another you aren't going to fully open to him.

 

Barry Long writes: "A woman is only ever less than her true nature because of man’s lack of love."

It's not a secret that women are more heart centered then men; and if she doesn't feel fulfilled from the primary perspective which she moves from (the heart) then yes she will feel less than fully satisfied. If a man doesn't feel like a woman is accepting of his physical affections then he too will be less than his "true nature" because of a woman's lack of affection. If a woman really does accept a man's way of expressing affection, it will lead him to give her the love that she craves because he will love her for accepting his gift of himself.

 

Barry Long writes: "She went off into her dream of love to escape his sexuality."

His theme that the male expression of sex is bad is tiresome.

 

Barry Long writes: "Her babies have long been a substitute for his love."

I've seen women who have stronger emotional ties with their children then their husbands and use their children to find some sense of emotional fulfillment, so he has a point there. On the other hand men seek outside sexual relationships because their wife doesn't give them what they need.

 

Barry Long writes: "Unlike man, a real woman can exist without sexual intercourse or masturbation. She waits for love, not sex."

 

Here we go with men are bad bad bad because they like sex, and only misaligned women like sex ... again because of that bad man who won't love her. This is a very negative view towards male sexuality and implies that only good girls want to be loved and don't want sex with those bad dirty men. jeeesh how long will it take for people to accept the whole person? You could ask "Unlike woman, a real man can exist without relating every detail of his day. He waits for a physical connection"

 

 

Barry Long writes: "It is man’s world and he built it on the strength of sexual aggression. Male domination began in sex and in sex it continues unabated."

Here we see his real view of male sexuality as an act of violence.

 

On the topic of violence, just because men are physically violent, and it's easy to see it's affects, doesn't mean that women are not just as violent. If a man is hurt he lashes out physically. If a woman is hurt she tends towards withholding herself and lashing out emotionally with personal attacks when she feels she has the upper hand. It's more of a siege warfare mentality geared at personally destroying him. Just because the violence is more subtle doesn't mean it is any less vicious, and I would go so far to say it is more personally destructive than physical violence.

 

Barry Long writes: "It means to know inside herself what is right and true and stick to that, even if it means the man leaves her. Woman is love. All she has to do is realise that, by giving up her self doubt and fear."

If a woman doesn't understand the "language" of how a man primarily perceives and expresses himself she will never get what she wants because she will only accept a man that acts like a woman. So if she follows Barry's advice she will never find a man.

 

What is needed is an understanding of how men and women give and receive love, which by Barry's description man only expresses his sexuality as animal lust and domination. This obsessive focus on one type of sexual expression is just plain wrong and denies the full expression of male sexuality.

 

I am frustrated that Barry has bought into the lie that the only good man is a neutered man. I am also frustrated at the portrayal of men in the media, and society in general, that men are sex and alcohol obsessed idiots that couldn't get through the day without the oh so much superior woman telling him what to do. How many positive male roles are shown on TV? Not many. If that isn't destructive enough the feminists push a male model of approaching the world on women that just causes them to move away from their authentic selves.

 

No matter how much you want you can't get away from the yin and yang energy that colors how men and women primarily experience the world. Understanding, patience, and kindness will go a lot further than trying to push people into being something they're not. Barry does have some good points but they are colored by a negative view of being a man.

Edited January 23, 2006 by Mitch

[Ian]

[Trunk]

There are good sociobiologic (Darwinian) reasons for gender behavior. The male is strong to defend life & limb, and to do a lot of physically based survival work. A man desires to inseminate as many females as possible, so his line will continue. Women will flock to a rare really exceptional provider, and he'll get it. Women, on the other hand, need someone stable and reliable to assist with all the work it takes to successfully raise a child. Its all about behavior aimed at successfully raising the next generations. And, imo, the resulting unit is not just a couple and a kid/s - but a "tribe": a significant sized group that can provide diversity of skills and some redundancy when people are injured / die. Roots of group psychology run deep. Maybe this doesn't account for all of human behavior, but probably at least into the high %90's.

[Lozen]

Sean is gonna kill me, but I also decided that science is the reason men are silent and women are crazy. Men were hunters so if something went wrong, instead of talking about it like normal, rational human beings, so it could be resolved, they had to be really quiet so as not to scare the deer. Women, on the other hand, instead of letting something go for a frickin change like normal, rational human beings, were gatherers and mothers so they had to gab every issue to death to keep each other company and to get the babies to learn the language. Just a thought.

[thaddeus]

There are good sociobiologic (Darwinian) reasons for gender behavior. The male is strong to defend life & limb, and to do a lot of physically based survival work. A man desires to inseminate as many females as possible, so his line will continue. Women will flock to a rare really exceptional provider, and he'll get it. Women, on the other hand, need someone stable and reliable to assist with all the work it takes to successfully raise a child. Its all about behavior aimed at successfully raising the next generations. And, imo, the resulting unit is not just a couple and a kid/s - but a "tribe": a significant sized group that can provide diversity of skills and some redundancy when people are injured / die. Roots of group psychology run deep. Maybe this doesn't account for all of human behavior, but probably at least into the high %90's.

Agree..

On Barry Long,

I have to read this guy's stuff, but a preliminary perusal smacks of..."Most men forgot how to make divine love, but ladies, not me, I know how to do it..sleep with me...let me spread my seed"

I may sound jaded, but jeez, some of these guy's game is just sooo obvious.

T

[Trunk]

I thought I was going to see some heated debate in response to my post! Maybe later..

 

Women, .. gab every issue to death to keep each other company and to get the babies to learn the language. Just a thought.

I was watching "Deliverence" on TV once, and it was one of those shows like "Dinner & a Movie" where they comment and cook between scenes. So, the scene was when the guys are paddlin' down the river and its all pristine majestic nature, and the guys aren't talking at all .. it was all just utterly regal and quiet. The girl from "Dinner & a Movie" said that if it was a bunch of women going down the river they'd be "sharing their feelings". One of the guys from D&M said, "that's what they're doing".

[Yoda]

Great thread, thanks!

 

I love Barry's boosting of artistic merit over technical performance, but I agree that the feminine angel vs grunting brute is a bit extreme.

 

Keep in mind that Barry is a generation or two preceding us and his philosophy is openly trolling.

 

I think that the essential kernel of the article applies to any standard woman-man, man-man, woman-woman, person-farm animal, farm animal-ET, orientation that comes to mind.

 

-Yoda

[Mitch]

I believe that you misunderstand him. He uses words in specific ways. He is in no way against physical love.

 

By "sex" he means excitement, friction, personality, that which prevents presence and an exchange of energies in making love.

 

He himself was by no means neutered.

 

By neutered I mean he has rejected the male side of himself and accepts only the female expression of sex.

[gendao]

Edited July 9, 2008 by vortex

[SFJane]

Great guesswork.. I <3 evo-psych! :DIf he meant this literally physically...how did he do it without arousing jealousy amongst them or pressure for exclusive commitment??? :blink:And what does he mean by saying men have to stop going from woman to woman...yet he was polygamous with 5 women for 3 years?This guy makes some grand claims...but how do you do this in real life? Just talking about spiritual mumbo-jumbo will remove women's jealousy and competitiveness and accept essentially being in a harem?

 

Sounds greatttt...but how exactly does one become a tantric master to do this?

 

Also, how do you romantically love a woman without sex or excitement?

 

 

Poor Barry,

 

For Barry's reading list.

 

Lucy's Legacy, Sex and intelligence in human evolution by Alison Jolly

 

The Third Chimpanzee by Jared Michael Diamond

 

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

[Xienkula1]

Sean is gonna kill me, but I also decided that science is the reason men are silent and women are crazy. Men were hunters so if something went wrong, instead of talking about it like normal, rational human beings, so it could be resolved, they had to be really quiet so as not to scare the deer. Women, on the other hand, instead of letting something go for a frickin change like normal, rational human beings, were gatherers and mothers so they had to gab every issue to death to keep each other company and to get the babies to learn the language. Just a thought.

[de_paradise]

Barry is weapons grade baloneum. Dont know where to start. He sounds delusional.

[i_am_sam]

Sorry to be trite, but what about Barry White?

[Sunya]

wait his name is actually Barry Long? sounds like some 80s porn star

[witch]

It's always the man's fault, isn't it? The cause is very simple--hidden malnutrition. Period.

 

The loving heart energy pouring from the center of my chest is overwhelming. True it's nice to find a man with the capacity to receive it, but men don't determine the ability. Likewise I can fuck most men under the table. My capacity for frequency and variety in partners is much more outsized than a man's. Pardon my cussing, but it is to emphasize I'm not some sort of delicate flower, unless it's a Venus flytrap.

 

It's like in Shakespearean times, where his running joke was the insatiable horniness of women. Or further back in Greek times, where they were talking about wives just wanting sex sex sex, and homosexual relationships were about a meeting of the minds. Women's libido is the canary in the coalmine for diet out of whack.

[三江源]

.

Edited March 23, 2015 by 三江源

[witch]

I don't get what Ian is saying at all. Without excitement and personality, energy exchange is flat and anemic. Even friction has its place. ?

[Ian]

Without excitement and personality, energy exchange is flat and anemic.

 

Initially, sure. It takes practice to stay present through the restlessness and dissatisfaction that will arise. We have a many-thousand-year habit of wanting to run the show and for it to be significant to our little selves.

 

But then if you can stay with it the depth and the truth and the beauty start to open up.

 

Surely the parallel with meditation is obvious. If you can only do nothing the most amazing things will happen. After a while. If you don't seek it.

[mjjbecker]

Yes.

 

are there any males here who actually get what he BL is talking about, apart from Ian

?

 

Blessedly I don't really care what Barry or any of the rest of his ilk have to say about these things. I'd rather find out on my own from my own experiences.

 

I'm all for education in the 'fundamentals', warnings regarding STD's, good, useful practical stuff, etc. You can keep the rest, thank you very much.

 

What is important is what we learn from experience. Yes, the heartache, the arguments, the highs and lows when you start the day singing, 'Oh What a beautiful morning', and finish on, 'Born to lose'.

 

Like everything else in life, experience is what its all about. Bugger opinion .

 

Be grateful early man didn't worry so much about all of this or non of us would be around to have this discussion. They were more concerned with the here and now, the living of life. They weren't concerning themselves with the latest relationship advice from Cosmo or Maxim magazines. The thought of such bollocks makes me go all pitchfork and torch waving I tell you.

 

In the immortal words of 'The King', 'A little less conversation, a little more action'. Let things play out the way they are supposed to. Enjoy the nice bits of life and stop f**king worrying about it in between.

 

Christ, this conversation's got me on the Ray Charles!

 

[gendao]

[Ian]

Can you explain this in more actual, practical terms?

 

So, how does tanric sex, "Barry Long" style, go?

 

 

If you're interested, do get the book, or tape. Not expensive.

 

I don't think I can summarize it any better than I have.

[gendao]

I don't think I can summarize it any better than I have.

Ok, well can you just tell me if you prefer it to "regular" ole' lusty sex?

[三江源]

-

Edited March 23, 2015 by 三江源