I feel like I'm being targetted

[Non]

I have read that there are psyops are done this way. E.G. NeuroComm.

 

The mechanism is based on the belief or fear you give it. I have a theory that for example, it might start with an "agent" whether it be extraterrestrial or government in origin, or even normal humans (think pagan/"magical" systems which work on belief and movement of energy, allowed by belief and throught systems) who's purpose is to get you to fear, and believe in it, thereby giving it more power to continue and make it even worse.

 

"black magic" works on thought systems, powered by belief. If nobody believed in it, it would have no power.

 

Its possible that this is the case, or also psychological operations, done by government or even extraterrestrial in origin. Yes technology like this does in fact exist, if you could just resaerch and find the patents there are for such tecnolog you would know that it does exist.

 

It can even be human in nature, just simple collective belief in bringing people like us down.

 

Most people really don't know what possibilities really exist out there, because they have been hidden from us, even since ANCIENT times.

 

I have thought that I've been a target for at least one of these. If so then that can explain what I've been experiencing.

 

In fact.. many religions even teach this. Although they call this mysterious force "evil" or "of the devil". The way they banish it is by simply giving up fear of it, and belief in it's absolute reality.

[Non]

eh.. whatever I had a good peice of text that I just typed up but I lost it. Now this doesn't seem too convincing. Well w/e.. cuz i'm handling more than one thread.

[River Gazer]

One word for all that Non. Yo.

 

I'm personally getting fairly adept at the easier magics, though I've yet to affect matter in a way that can be proven. I can do things like use runes to get simple answers, or over the course of a half an hour or so divine just about anything i want by raw mind.

Depth of mind is the gateway to all.

 

 

If you want to know if your paranoia is justified, ask if your paranoia is justified. Just keep in mind that it aint an easy question.

 

Thinkin' aint so bad a life.

[River Gazer]

GB2/b/ Biff

 

Since biff is gone, might as well get rid of this

Edited January 8, 2010 by River Gazer

[Andrei]

And change your name from Non to Yes

 

uRv4CoXQoAQ

[~jK~]

"Rely not on the teacher/person, but on the teaching. Rely not on the words of the teaching, but on the

spirit of the words. Rely not on theory, but on experience. Do not believe in anything simply because you

have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do

not believe anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything because it is

written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and

elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is

conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

 

!

I wish I had written the above.

Belief systems have been the enemy of mankind, as in the tool of controll, for a Looooong time.

[Old Man Contradiction]

 

 

Non, you have no idea how exactly you described where I was at a couple years ago. It's uncanny. The evil force and gov't thing, and the law of attraction, and how because you know so much and have so much potential. The isolation was seriously horrible and I felt that all of my ex-friends targeted me. In fact I clicked on this thread because of the title. These are exactly the same things that I was going through, plus, I was frequently eating acid during that time which super amplified my twisted reality. And I was smoking weed everyday which continued the bad acid trips into my everyday life. By the way I was trapped in a crazy-ass mind for a good year or more until a grounded approach started wearing it out.

 

First, if you smoke weed or do any other drugs, stop doing them now. They can be helpful to people that have a strong foundation, but not to people that need rooting.

 

Second, start exercising everyday. This will seriously start to help you. Just shoot for jogging for 20mins at first, then increase it to 30. Then add pushups, pullups, and situps. You need to at least sweat. This is an incredible medicine. Basically the way the brain works is that an external stimuli causes the reaction in your mind that you experience as your thoughts, memories, and behavior. Exercise alters all stimulus by improving blood and oxygen supply to the brain and body, which improves the way the senses work. This change in your perception of stimuli will start new behavior, basically you will start becoming a new person. Exercise basically saved my ass, and is being used to treat anxiety in place of medication.

 

Do what's best for your body and your physical brain and your mind will follow.

 

Also Non, it will benefit you to drop the notion that you are special, or a chosen-one. This belief will short change you. Anybody can read, we all have unlimited memory, and fractal-like comprehension is commonplace in my neighborhood at least, so you can't really "know too much". The thought that you know too much is a testament of where you need to work.

[Non]

actually, when I say I "know too much" mean... because I've read a lot conspiracies, and I'm into the alternative science and alternative thought. That isolates me too naturally. I'm also MORE alternative than the average "althernative" thinker. And also I have had the history of being alone BEFORE I became an 'alternative thinker" and have always been an extremely sensitive and isolated or even problematic person.

 

That, and the fact that in my own personal history, especially growing up I've never had a social life or love life, so being an adult, it's near imposible to start one since I'm expected and supposed to be already grown up.

 

So, all the painful rejection also does have me psychologically and physiologically and autonomosly feeling really bad about myself. I jsut don't have any reflection of my own abilities. I mean I really need to do hardcore inner work on myself which the majority of people right now don't even need to do, just to be living normally, and be able to have SOME kind of effect on my life and reality. I believe that at this state it is simply too dysfunctional to be able to success in anything or even get better. That only external help can help me.. even if I did my best to see otherwise.

 

It's like a very bad trap,and paradox.

 

i dunno.

 

and my mind goes back and forth trying to understand it all because it all seem so illogical, that if I didn't understand it I would be crazy.. and the search for an answr makes me even crazier.

 

It feels like nature has already set my destiny for a short lived life and a sooner than normal death. Down to my very cells that feel this, instinctually, especially as a result of being so rejected by the feminine. That is supposed to symbolize my disintegration, the fact that I've never had a successful interaction with the feminine and that it has without exception EVER been without problems and conflict. Even so much as a simple interaction like being "near" or existing in the same relative area. From the moment of my existence on the conceptual logomorphic plane... It makes no sense why I even "exist". So it feels that nature, itself, wants me dead. In fact, probably taking it's natural course towards a soon death. My life, nature, foretells this and is taking steps to acheive this. Nature seriously wants to kill me. This tells me there's no hope.

 

Or so it seems.

 

Perhaps only an act of "god" or some miracle can save me. But at this level I think I am too caught up,perhaps in my ego.

Edited January 9, 2010 by Non

[ShaktiMama]

actually, when I say I "know too much" mean... because I've read a lot conspiracies, and I'm into the alternative science and alternative thought. That isolates me too naturally.

 

That, and the fact that in my own personal history, especially growing up I've never had a social life or love life, so being an adult, it's near imposible to start one since I'm expected and supposed to be already grown up.

 

So, all the painful rejection also does have me psychologically and physiologically and autonomosly feeling really bad about myself. I jsut don't have any reflection of my own abilities. I mean I really need to do hardcore inner work on myself which the majority of people right now don't even need to do, just to be living normally, and be able to have SOME kind of effect on their lives.

 

It's like a very bad trap,and paradox.

 

i dunno.

 

and my mind goes back and forth trying to understand it all because it all seem so illogical, that if I didn't understand it I would be crazy.. and the search for an answr makes me even crazier.

 

It feels like nature has already set my destiny for a short lived life and a sooner than normal death.

 

 

using your unsettled, crazy thinking mind to fix your mind is unwise. it's like walking with a broken leg and believing it performs at optimum function. You wonder why you keep falling down and are in pain?

 

get professional help if you want to really get better. otherwise it is all just mental circle jerking.

[Non]

ok now I feel like committing "internet suicide".

[Tao99]

using your unsettled, crazy thinking mind to fix your mind is unwise. it's like walking with a broken leg and believing it performs at optimum function. You wonder why you keep falling down and are in pain?

 

get professional help if you want to really get better. otherwise it is all just mental circle jerking.

Sorry but I feel this is harsh and hyper-critical. It can be of great help to be and feel self-sufficient, and try to think things through to look at them differently and come up with novel solutions. I don't think 'bootstrap pulling' should be discouraged or disgraced.

 

Of course if you are feeling sick, seek medical help.

 

But it's a great feeling to know you can work through some of your problems on your own, without need for pills, highs, guides, or gods. In fact, that's what the Tao is all about, and Buddhism.

Edited January 9, 2010 by Tao99

[ShaktiMama]

Sorry but I feel this is harsh and hyper-critical. It can be of great help to be and feel self-sufficient, and try to think things through to look at them differently and come up with novel solutions. I don't think 'bootstrap pulling[' should be discouraged or disgraced. Of course if you are feeling sick, seek medical help. But it's a great feeling to know you can work through some of your problems on your own, without need for pills, highs, guides, or gods. In fact, that's what the Tao is all about, and Buddhism.

 

 

In previous posts it was already established that several months ago he came to this board looking for help and said he was going to get help. Correct me if I am wrong. This by his own admission is about him getting help for his paranoia.

 

I am a RN who works in mental health with psychotics. I will tell you from experience...reality bites and is offensive.

 

But someone whose mind is suffering from erroneous thinking is unable to help itself. I think that is probably a universal maxim. It all comes down to a matter of degrees then. Unable to help self...does this mean I have a difficult time with getting up in the morning, do i have a difficult time establishing meaningful relationships with my self and others or does it mean I have a loaded gun in the night stand? Should i find support within the sangha or got to a professional? Why not do both?

 

Yes...support the person but do not feed the disease or its drama. Bringing people back to what is real is kinder.

[Sloppy Zhang]

ok now I feel like committing "internet suicide".

 

And what, pray tell, is that?

 

And do you think that will stop an invisible evil government force controlled by evil aliens possessed by equally evil demons controlling the eternal damned from finding and stopping you?

 

Switching to serious mode for a bit, from what I have heard you have to be pretty damned powerful for any "evil forces" to even take note of you- let alone actively work to stop you. 99.99999% of the time these feelings are self generated, unless you are that fraction of a minority which has made significant development in past lives, and just by coming in contact with knowledge that can help you advance you are alerting your age old enemies..... that's assuming you believe that stuff to begin with.

 

So, in short, unless you are "the one", you are fine.

[ShaktiMama]

ok now I feel like committing "internet suicide".

 

call a hot line and get help...

 

no one pulls the trigger but you and speaking to us will not help you get any better....

 

you really should not be looking to the internet for help...there are no experts here...just voyeurs who are unknowingly perpetuating your suffering.

 

so send me your phone number and your location and I will find someone to refer you to

Edited January 9, 2010 by ShaktiMama

[River Gazer]

UrbanDictionary.com says:

 

1. internet suicide

 

When someone in a forum, newsgroup, etc. says they are leaving (sometimes "and never coming back"), but actually wants to see how people react to their leaving. Usually as the result of drama

 

joejoe monkey: I can't take this anymore. I'm leaving the forum. I'm tired of being harassed and the mods won't do anything about it.

 

kikiquan: Internet suicide. He logged on under a different name with the same ISP

fake death internet drama angst crap mtv generation

 

 

2. Internet Suicide

 

The act of intentionally getting yourself banned from a website or forum.

Man, you can't go around posting the f-word everywhere, that's internet suicide!

Edited January 9, 2010 by River Gazer

[Non]

lol forget it all. because all this does is further my demise.

[Sloppy Zhang]

lol forget it all. because all this does is further my demise.

 

No offense but.... I don't think too many of us are taking this thread too seriously

 

Again, you have to be REALLY special to be a target of anything evil just by practicing a certain system or learning about a certain topic.

 

I guarantee that for must of us (at least me anyway ) will not think any less of you in the future because of this thread. There is no need to commit internet suicide, and this thread is not leading to your taobum suicide

 

Once you metaphorically pull your head out of the sand by getting involved in spiritual practices, it's easy to look around and see a lot of negativity- or downright evil- in the world. But seriously, feel good about the fact that there is nothing special about you, and no one is out to get you, because nobody cares.

 

It sounds depressing, but it is quite liberating, to know you can walk through a crowd and not be noticed.... like a ninja.....

 

At least, it's liberating for me

 

Don't worry, be happy

[Non]

No offense but.... I don't think too many of us are taking this thread too seriously

 

Again, you have to be REALLY special to be a target of anything evil just by practicing a certain system or learning about a certain topic.

 

I guarantee that for must of us (at least me anyway ) will not think any less of you in the future because of this thread. There is no need to commit internet suicide, and this thread is not leading to your taobum suicide

 

Once you metaphorically pull your head out of the sand by getting involved in spiritual practices, it's easy to look around and see a lot of negativity- or downright evil- in the world. But seriously, feel good about the fact that there is nothing special about you, and no one is out to get you, because nobody cares.

 

It sounds depressing, but it is quite liberating, to know you can walk through a crowd and not be noticed.... like a ninja.....

 

At least, it's liberating for me

 

Don't worry, be happy

 

Actually "they" might not even need to put in that much effort to silence me, or any other with similar characteristics. They target many people all at the same time who have similar vibrations. If theres a vibration they dont like, they just add you on their list of targets, but it's not like they will ALL have to be personally targetted. It can be more of an automatic or impersonal thing. Besides they want to keep control, so it's not like I'm the biggest threat. It's a collective thing. They might be targetting more than one person or idea, and it's set up automatically to tone down anything truly sucessful.

 

And no I'm not like a ninja either. For some select things they DO want me to be noticed. For other select things they DON'T want me to be noticed.

 

Pretty intricate thought system that traps me don't u think?

 

I know it sounds crazy. I'm just waiting for the yr 2012-2030 when perhaps things of this nature can surface and the truth will be known. The silence just kills...

Edited January 9, 2010 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

Actually "they" might not even need to put in that much effort to silence me, or any other with similar characteristics. They target many people all at the same time who have similar vibrations. If theres a vibration they dont like, they just add you on their list of targets, but it's not like they will ALL have to be personally targetted. It can be more of an automatic or impersonal thing. Besides they want to keep control, so it's not like I'm the biggest threat. It's a collective thing. They might be targetting more than one person or idea, and it's set up automatically to tone down anything truly sucessful.

 

And no I'm not like a ninja either. For some select things they DO want me to be noticed. For other select things they DON'T want me to be noticed.

 

Pretty intricate thought system that traps me don't u think?

 

The scary thing is I know and understand exactly what you mean

 

Part of the problem is worrying about it- the more you think about it the more you wind up sabotaging yourself. Breathe, relax, don't let it worry you.

 

I know it sounds crazy. I'm just waiting for the yr 2012-2030 when perhaps things of this nature can surface and the truth will be known. The silence just kills...

 

Silence is golden, make some popcorn and watch a movie

[Non]

wel I guess the reason why I haven't gotten help yet is because well...

 

First off NO american insurance actually covers psychological services, nor alternative treatments and they are both expensive and time consuming, and the breadth or scope of treatment and knowledge may be incomplete (as in america there's a huge divide between natural/alternative and allopathic medicine and mainstream thought/science). And I disagree with most allopathic medicine and their Big Pharma.

 

Second.. I have sh*t to do to.. and I'm not going to drive myself to the nearest local mental institution or say anywhere pubicly that I have had thoughts of suicide. Over here we have the Baker Act, if u say that, or act "mentally disordered" in any way they get the police to throw me into the mental institution where the psychiatrists Make Money for diagnosing "inmates" as lunatics and giving them prescriptions which mess them up even more to get them to try hundreds of different medications. of course, they make money from that.

 

I had that happen. And of course they label me crazy and schizo and base if off some chemically induced psychosis rather than conceptual or something caused by a physical situation, or something. So yea... another psychologist just says I have some depression DUE TO THE FACT that I'm so lonely and different so yea you get the point.

 

SO, I have to spend time carefully choosing which psycholigist doesn't rely on Big Pharma and the corrupt governmental and educational systems to tell them what to do.

 

I have called in about a week and a half ago to get some information on treatment at a university that specializes in anxiety, and also has psychological services. so they'll be calling me pretty soon though it's been a weak and a half and they say they're still waiting for a response from the head of the department.

 

SO. I have to find a private psychologist too rather than a corrupt government of big industry supported psychotherapist. which means, more time, searching, more money.... more obscurity etc.

 

And to top it all off it's "unsure" they can provide the proper treatment or that treatment will have lasting effects, or even do something about the issue at hand. Especially with mainstream/conventional methods which do not support "free thought".

Edited January 9, 2010 by Non

[Non]

and don't tell me "The USA is the greatest and freeest country in the world".

 

I am grateful that in the USA some things are allowed whereas in other countries there aren't but we also have different mindsets and different circumstances.

 

The government does opress, but its not so obvious, and most people are simply unaware and living in a haze thinking everything's perfect. The citizens do a lot of the opression themselves (and the media controlled by the big industry, controlled by the government, controlled by EXOpolitics) enough with their shortsightedness and egotism.

Edited January 9, 2010 by Non

[River Gazer]

Well, you got a freind in me and we are alot alike. You babble about problems, on here or by a personal message, ill try to help.

 

I walked the mile. I walked alone.

[Mal]

and I'm not going to drive myself to the nearest local mental institution or say anywhere pubicly that I have had thoughts of suicide.

 

Fair enough, in Aus we have telephone counseling services like Lifeline so someone to talk to is just a phone call away.

 

What about something like that?

[Non]

Fair enough, in Aus we have telephone counseling services like Lifeline so someone to talk to is just a phone call away.

 

What about something like that?

 

yea we got the switchboard of miami FL here but really they wouldn't know how to deal with something as complex as this. at least buddhists will teach you how to detatch and stuff.. they're just there to give limited solace or something...

[Mal]

Yes phone counseling can be a bit of a lucky dip depending on who you get.............

 

What about this for some peace of mind. Most Events that Happen to us do not Matter! An amazing talk by TED