Excess sexual energy--tao approach?

[Will@Peace]

First of all before I continue I apologize if I posted this in the wrong forum space.

So I've been working on cultivating my chi through sexual cultivation-and it is hard!

Let me give you a little back ground history about me-and I'll be upfront about it all.

 

Once I was a player--yes I had multiple women I was seeing.

After a while of seeing this women I realized that the women that where in my life where reflecting back on me what I was---empty.

I was achieving sexual satisfaction (on a physical level obviously) yet I wanted more.

I was seeing a spiritual adviser/practitioner at a local spiritual non-domination church. He advised to me to imagine the feeling of what I would like to have with a women--what feelings would come from being with the ideal women I seeked.

So I did so for a while--and low and behold I manifested my current girlfriend off of an online dating service.

She posses the quality's in which I seeked out at the time....

however now I am in a delima.

 

I'm a young guy-25, peak of my sexuality.

I'm extremely sexual man, I love touch, physical, ontop of it all I'm a leo (for your astrology people out there), I'm sort of a party guy, but I have always been in control of my behaviour.

I go to a major university. I see many beutifal females walking all over the place.

I found a partner whom makes me feel happy, however on a physical sexual level I find myself not feeling completely fulfilled. I can't really discuss my issue with my current GF as she may become defensive/jealous.

 

I feel that I have a lot of excess sexual energy-my girlfriend pleases me as much as she possibly can in that realm, and I don't make any special requests.

I just want to be able to direct this excess sexual energy somehow. The excess energy makes my mind wander off, and I loose focus on my natural ability's.

I've been practicing methods such as the big draw, etc. to try and capture this energy and bring it into higher realms---yet it is difficult. I found myself a spiritual matched partner, yet I don't want to cheat! I'm trying to bring myself up higher besides the physical level.

 

 

 

Now I know a little bit about tao. I would like to know how my situation fits in with the tao thinking/teaching. Should I even be focusing on spiritual progression right now or is my life at this momement to be more meeting of my physical needs? Is there a way to express physical needs as well as grow spirtually?

How can I control this excess sexual energy more efficiently.

I understand I'm a young male, and I'm sexually driven by women---but I don't want that to control me! I want to control IT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Any others able to relate to my problem or help me would be greatly appreciated! I find it hard for me to concentrate/focus--or even preform my cultivation excersises because of this issue.

 

 

 

Thanks!

[宁]

Hello there

 

meditation - sitting still

 

taiji - learning to move with power and grace

 

these can help you very much to cool down and root down to the earth.

if you want to know a daoist opinion on sex, grab a sit, and then read the following:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ready yet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's no such thing as excess sexual energy.

in daoism we know that when your sexual energy is full, the effect is opposed to what you describe. meaning, you are less interested in sex. sex hunger usually indicates a person that has scattered too much sexual energy. actually is a behaviour that masks an instinctive need to recover all the energy lost... but without method, it's no use.

and even if you got the method, you still need to learn to sit still, and move with power and elegance. see above.

 

good luck

[Will@Peace]

Hello there

 

meditation - sitting still

 

taiji - learning to move with power and grace

 

these can help you very much to cool down and root down to the earth.

if you want to know a daoist opinion on sex, grab a sit, and then read the following:

ready yet?

there's no such thing as excess sexual energy.

in daoism we know that when your sexual energy is full, the effect is opposed to what you describe. meaning, you are less interested in sex. sex hunger usually indicates a person that has scattered too much sexual energy. actually is a behaviour that masks an instinctive need to recover all the energy lost... but without method, it's no use.

and even if you got the method, you still need to learn to sit still, and move with power and elegance. see above.

 

good luck

 

 

interesting, so in reality my sexual hunger is because I have scattered to much sexual energy and I am trying to recover it?

[宁]

yes, but because you are young, you don't feel it. in a couple of years, usually people do feel it, and start cutting down on ejaculation and wasted nights, drugs and alcohol.

 

basically this i what i think you need to do: learn to sit and meditate, and learn some form of taiji.

 

it may actually help you become a better lover...

 

and, cut down on sugar intake. in fact, cut down on most of it. usually after doing so, many men feel less sexually stimulated. it's not their energy, it's just the sugar. (also cofeine and alcohol play a part)

[Will@Peace]

yes, but because you are young, you don't feel it. in a couple of years, usually people do feel it, and start cutting down on ejaculation and wasted nights, drugs and alcohol.

 

basically this i what i think you need to do: learn to sit and meditate, and learn some form of taiji.

 

it may actually help you become a better lover...

 

and, cut down on sugar intake. in fact, cut down on most of it. usually after doing so, many men feel less sexually stimulated. it's not their energy, it's just the sugar. (also cofeine and alcohol play a part)

 

thats the thing-I eat low carb, I don't drink-expect socially, and I'm done with my "drug days" (even through I never had an addiction issue-it was always for curiosity sake). I can please a women very well (sounds ego filled--lol don't mean it that way). I don't drink much caffine either-just a coffee in the morning (much better compared to when I used to drink 3 diet rockstars a day) lol.

I workout very consistently. I don't masturbate often either.

I feel like maybe my kundalini is awaking and needs to be directed appropriately?

I feel like I need sexual completion/complete sexual satisfaction--my gf satisfy s me emotionally, spiritually, etc. but it seems my sexual energy is just to high! lol

 

Perhaps sitting still everyday, just sitting in the here and now to calm myself is a good place to start.

Edited January 7, 2010 by Will@Peace

[宁]

Yes.

 

It depends on your body's resources... i think the lifestyle you had took it's tool on you.

You need to recharge.

If you continue spending your energy on girls... well, it's a choise, what can i say. Life's short, gotta live it.

If i were you, i start doing some meditation, 15 minutes a day. And walking in the park? instead of taiji!

 

Good luck man!

[Will@Peace]

Yes.

 

It depends on your body's resources... i think the lifestyle you had took it's tool on you.

You need to recharge.

If you continue spending your energy on girls... well, it's a choise, what can i say. Life's short, gotta live it.

If i were you, i start doing some meditation, 15 minutes a day. And walking in the park? instead of taiji!

 

Good luck man!

 

I've downloaded a decent amount of meditations/self hypnosis to help me out a little bit.

I feel 1 hr a day of meditation will be a good place to start.

One of my issues has always been not being quite consistent enough for change to occur, so I need to stay ontop of it.

thx for your help!

[markern]

You could maybe check out some karezza style lov emaking with your girlfriend. It is a quite qucik and easy and safe path too more spiritual sex.

[Will@Peace]

I'm also starting to read about astral projection and astral love making.

Is there a possibility that my partner and I aren't a sexual match? Yet that shouldn't matter so much compared to spirtual compatibility?

[markern]

I'm also starting to read about astral projection and astral love making.

Is there a possibility that my partner and I aren't a sexual match? Yet that shouldn't matter so much compared to spirtual compatibility?

 

For sure. One can be many combinations of matches and mismatches I am sure. When you do not describe exactly what is missing wih your girlfriend it is difficlt to asess if anything can be done. Quite often there are stuff that cold change things. A poster here named witch has a diet that makes women very, very horny and orgasmic for example. David Shade has written a super book about sex that teaches, amongst other things, how to lead your women into also getting of and really wanting to do the dirty stuff that you want to do. It really works incredibly well and being the former player that you are you already have a ,ost of the required psychological sklls in place to implement his advice.

[seththewhite]

The title of 'girlfriend' is a tool used for many reasons.

What is your reason for its use?

 

Would this female not provide the same spiritual and mental satisfaction for you

if you were unable to claim her as your own?

 

And if she is only able to provide said satisfaction under said circumstance,

does it feel natural to put long-term faith in such a relationship?

 

You may look towards meditation to pacify, calm, and reorder your frustrated energies,

but you must realize the possibility of that being an avenue for your escape.

 

You are encountering resistance by attempting to quell your sexual hunger.

 

The Taoist approach is to flow like water.

Understand that everything is how it should be naturally,

and realize that resistance in flow is simply an obstruction of nature.

 

"Everything will be alright in the end.

If everything's not alright, it isn't the end."

 

Personally, I'd encourage you to experience as many of those beautiful girls as possible.

Because, as aforementioned, you only get one ticket for the rollercoaster called Life.

But that's coming from a 23 year-old, single, sexually-active male.

 

The purpose is to Enjoy, my friend

[三江源]

.

Edited April 15, 2015 by 三江源

[seththewhite]

to experience them?

 

what are they? people, or tourism opportunities?

 

Life is a tour that many people miss out on because they are afraid of negative connotations

and the labels associated with them.

 

We are all beautifully and intricately intertwined compositions of experiences.

 

Are we people?- Yes

Are we tourism opportunities?- Yes

Can we as individuals be explored by other individuals both internally and externally?- Yes

 

Notice the affirmative pattern... or rather, the positive side of life.

 

I used the word experience with intention, and it had no devious implication until you gave it one.

 

Your response was laced with hostility...

Forgive me, I did not mean to offend.

[gendao]

in daoism we know that when your sexual energy is full, the effect is opposed to what you describe. meaning, you are less interested in sex. sex hunger usually indicates a person that has scattered too much sexual energy. actually is a behaviour that masks an instinctive need to recover all the energy lost... but without method, it's no use.

Yes, I've heard that when your jing is full, you will no longer think about sex.

Although I've also heard that when your jing is depleted, your sexual function may suffer.

 

Which sounds somewhat at odds, but I guess could both be true:

Your jing could be full, with you no longer thinking about sex...yet you still be fully virile and potent (should the desire arise).

Meanwhile, with depleted jing, you could have strong desire...yet lack the performance to back it up.

 

But, the "problem" with this viewpoint is that people could have any combination of high/low sexual desire and high/low sexual ability (like Will@Peace having both strong sexual desire and ability). So, guess I don't really quite know here...

 

 

As far as your girlfriend dilemna - why not keep her as a (platonic) spiritual friend and then find another girl mainly for sex? I mean, ideally maybe one day you could find everything in the same package...but until then...?

Edited January 8, 2010 by vortex

[Andrei]

Please visit the link in my signature and do yourself and your girlfriend a Taoist Astrology analysis, you will see if your girlfriend completes you. You may seem as an excessive Fire person from your own description, but you need to address this issue 'scientifically'. Taoism is a science!

[Will@Peace]

I would def say my energy is fire dominated. I'll check out the astrology tests. I live with my gf so I can't just become platonic friends and I don't really want that. Unless she let me see other wmen on only a physically plane which may upset her.

I'm struggling on how to bring this issue up to her without her loosing distrust. What would the Tao say for someone whom has excess fire? To even it out with water? And how so? What things can I do to calm the energy?

[Andrei]

I'm struggling on how to bring this issue up to her without her loosing distrust. What would the Tao say for someone whom has excess fire? To even it out with water? And how so? What things can I do to calm the energy?

 

Just pay a visit to the link in my signature under "Sex" and read Taomeow's posts, I put it there for you

 

Yes Water means stillness, flowing....meditation, Taichi...., Little1 already said it....

[Will@Peace]

Thanks guys. I'll def check out the link and include more "water" in my life. . Any other suggestions appreciated!!

[Will@Peace]

Hey guys just an update. So I've been practicing cultivation and to me it seems like my fire is def a lot. I'm a very sexually driven man. A small thing such as some cute girl walking by can throw off my energy rather quickly.

Doing a powerlock every time is hard! Lol. One issue I'm seeing come upnis me being in a relationship/confined/controlled or being possibly repressed sexually and me having to deal with these issues for a long time. Being with one women for the rest of my life right now seems difficult!!!

I want to grrow spirtually yet it's def difficult with all this "fire" flowing through me. I need a way to direct the nrg otherwise I just get well....so horny I can't seem to concentrate.

Oh btw I'm a Leo if no one has guessed yet.

Is this normal for a 25 yr oldmale? Is there a way to know if I'm following the right path in my life? Should I enjoy the physical before atttempting spirtual work? Can the two work togheter?

 

 

 

 

Thx!

Edited January 14, 2010 by Will@Peace

[Sunya]

excess energy isn't your problem, it's excess desire. it's all in the mind. energy follows mind. control your mind and energy will follow.

[Will@Peace]

excess energy isn't your problem, it's excess desire. it's all in the mind. energy follows mind. control your mind and energy will follow.

 

How can I control my thoughts better? Through practice/cultivation-and understanding of the tao?

I feel I'm a very "male archetypal" a "breeder" for say. I also think an underlying issue occurring is the need for women/sex because I have never asked a women out (except for online), and possible restraining feelings coming from being with one partner. Also being able to dwell in this archetypal allowed me to feel a a sense of 'freedom'. Now being with a partner-although spiritually and emotionally compatible I sense myself "longing" for being able to feel that 'freedom'.

[jago25_98]

Ask yourself...

could you let go of desire?

would you let go of desire?

When?

 

Listen...

 

last year I spent my time cumming hard into a girl to the point of hallucination. When she dumped me I looked back and thought to myself `What have I got to show for it?` She commented `I seem to get better with age`... and she's right, with someone like me literally blowing my brains out 24/7.

 

Thank goodness I figured it out.

 

Get into meditation - subliminate that sexual energy into something useful; health, brains. Channel it, circulate it. Make it your friend.

 

I've gone from having great sex all the time to absolutely no outlet. Ok, so I'm 28... perhaps the drive is less. However, it was an absolute killer at first. My willy still has me looking at fast cars and other rubbish.

 

But with diet, meditation, exercise, you can do it.

 

Want to find your true sex drive? Cut out caffine, sugar and garlic for a start and go from there.

 

Totaly kudos for finding this stuff out before hitting 30 - what a gift and opportunity. Fantastic!

[gendao]

Edited January 15, 2010 by vortex

[mat black]

I respect what Vortex and Jargo 25_98 said.

 

Mikaelz is right it begins in the mind.

 

The thoughts of desire which begin in the mind are then felt in the body and then further fueld by the following sensations of pleasure that come from sensory stimulation.

Even though it's often experienced and mostly only noticed as a bodily/physical thing, it actually begins with desires in the mind.

It feels 'natural' because it is such as a deep habit carried over from many lifetimes.

 

Energetic, bodily based practices like tai chi and qigong are good to help to harmonise the qi flow within the body so that excessive concentrations of qi and jing from sexual desire doesn't stagnate and create blockages.

 

But in order to overcome it from it's origin, we have to realise that it originates from the desires within the mind.

 

Purifying the mind through meditation can be very helpful. Further to that, reciting the name of a Buddha or Bodhisattva can increase the efficacy even more because as we recite their name, we align our mind with the virtues of these beings. In doing that, our habits can gradually diminish and in their place, we might then have some clarity, freedom and peace better than anything we ever imagined.

[Will@Peace]

So is it better to not have a partner then to have one? And if one were to have a partner should that partner be at the same sexual level and to practice duel cultivation with?

Being celibate right now seems very difficult as I am young and want to have fun/ experiment yet grow spirtually to. I'm in a Delima and it seems difficult. Lol. I think seeing attractive women every day and given my past and occasionally looking back and "reminising" about my 'playa days' makes it def. more challenging...lol

Edited January 15, 2010 by Will@Peace