masturbation and attractiveness

[Non]

Let's say that a woman can tell if you masturbate. Or have not ejaculated in a long time. Does it make you more attractive to women?

 

Now, the other question... Does it work better if you transmute the energy upwards, or is it better to just leave it as sexual energy, and accumulate it?

 

Now I see that Drew might be posting soon...

 

The way it seems is that women will try to deconvert that energy into sexual energy by trying to turn you on. But this doesn't mean that they are attracted to you, in fact they want to use you. And so there could end up a power struggle of you trying to transmute that jing, and the woman trying to deconvert it to sexual energy again. For power mainly... Then again maybe once she incites you, you also get her going.

 

Not that all women do this but I think some women do.

 

Anyways... what makes you more attractive though, when it comes to witholding ejaculation and being celibate for a while? Transmuting that energy, or leaving it as jing. I'm pretty sure that if one just leaves it at jing and nothing happens, no attraction, then seminal leakage can occur.

 

But also if you transmute it to chi, then there is no sexual energy, and no reason to lust....

 

 

Yea well... maybe it's not even that complicated. I just need them Orgasm at a Distance skillz.

 

Perhaps, it's just best to be able to transmute it whenever sexuality is not needed, and when it is, just appropiately convert it back into jing. But if that's not doing well then I guess you have no choice but to convert it into chi because the jing will just seek to come out.

 

But what do you think is what gets her attracted, the jing or the chi/shen?

Edited January 24, 2010 by Non

[Tao99]

But what do you think is what gets her attracted, the jing or the chi/shen?

 

From my years of experience and living with my gf for 5 years I can say that woman are a lot like me and you - same hopes, dreams, needs, problems, desires, flaws, foibles, and fears. Best bet is to just relax and look for a sort of friend with benefits. And of course if you are not a supermodel you will need to adjust accordingly.

 

But don't take my word for it. Learn from the expert Mystery. Of course there's a learning curve. http://www.blacklabelseduction.com/the-pickup-artist-season-2-episode-1-video/

 

"Woman have a certain number of attraction switches, and I know what they are." Mystery, The Pick Up Artist TV Show Expert

 

Edited January 24, 2010 by Tao99

[Non]

Whatever that means (friends with benefits). As long as it's committed sex ie she is only fucking 1 person at a time, as I cannot stand how disgusting and messed up (disrespectful) that is to be doing more than 1 guy at a time. I also prefer that she doesn't have the goal in mind to simply jump from person to person, and closes off the opportunity for a relationship or longer term thing simply because she's "not that type of girl" .

 

it's kind of gay actually. or bi.

 

but I guess a lot of people don't care, or much less even know that it's bisexual.

 

You cannot expect every guy to be fond of the fact that a woman only has casual relationships, or is too casual. For the same reason I mentioned.

Edited January 24, 2010 by Non

[Capital]

The idea that women can feel how often you masturbate is silly.

 

Unless the woman in question has the ability to SEE, she has no clue where your Jing/Chi/Shen is, and she most likely would slap you in the face if you told her she liked you because you have stored up enough 'Jing' that you're a sex machine...

 

Non, sometimes you have to be real and accept that people like others for outward appearances and first impressions until they get to know them.

[Tao99]

Whatever that means (friends with benefits). As long as it's committed sex ie she is only fucking 1 person at a time, as I cannot stand how disgusting and messed up (disrespectful) that is to be doing more than 1 guy at a time. I also prefer that she doesn't have the goal in mind to simply jump from person to person, and closes off the opportunity for a relationship or longer term thing simply because she's "not that type of girl" .

 

oh yea absolutely. Some do, and some (most actually) just want that one reliable chemically attractive etc husband/boyfriend. I'm like you and want just one who wants one, but I don't care or get involved in other lifestyles. That's their life, and it wouldnt be very Daoist of me to nose in (wu wei and all). What I meant is that what worked for me was to find a solo-desiring gf who felt like a good friend to have around, and with the benefit of sex. That's all.

Edited January 24, 2010 by Tao99

[Encephalon]

Whatever that means (friends with benefits). As long as it's committed sex ie she is only fucking 1 person at a time, as I cannot stand how disgusting and messed up (disrespectful) that is to be doing more than 1 guy at a time. I also prefer that she doesn't have the goal in mind to simply jump from person to person, and closes off the opportunity for a relationship or longer term thing simply because she's "not that type of girl" .

 

it's kind of gay actually. or bi.

 

but I guess a lot of people don't care, or much less even know that it's bisexual.

 

You cannot expect every guy to be fond of the fact that a woman only has casual relationships, or is too casual. For the same reason I mentioned.

 

I received a fairly thoughtful and sincere reprimand in here for expressing uncharitable sentiments toward you, for failing to express compassion in the midst of your suffering, or for at least failing to abstain from expressing uncharitable sentiments when silence would have sufficed.

 

And then I read your posts and am reminded again that you are truly one of the most profoundly twisted young men I've ever witnessed. Have you isolated yourself so much that there isn't one live human being close enough to give you a reality check?

[witch]

Women can sense if men are too horny and that puts them off. The thing that Drew does isn't really not masturbating, it's taking the sexual energy and bringing it up to his third eye. Women do like third eye men.

 

As I pointed out, and you ignored, women are MORE monogamous than men, not less monogamous. If you are excessively concerned with monogamy, don't chase after club-hopping hotties.

 

As for having girl-hating jerk ways, unfortunately that won't keep you from initially getting with women, especially young clueless women, but it will keep you from having a good long-term relationship.

[Pietro]

I received a fairly thoughtful and sincere reprimand in here for expressing uncharitable sentiments toward you, for failing to express compassion in the midst of your suffering, or for at least failing to abstain from expressing uncharitable sentiments when silence would have sufficed.

 

 

I don't know who criticized you, but please accept my support. For what it's worth. You were absolutely correct in your critic.

 

 

[Enishi]

I've noticed that if I go without masturbating for several days, and I have something else to focus my energy on, like chi kung or other types of projects, I become more relaxed around women and they like me more. If I'm masturbating a lot however, the lack of emotional satisfaction and low serotonin/oxytocin makes me more desperate for a woman's companionship. It's even worse if you use porn, at least in my case, I pick up on the negative energy of the people in the videos.

[One love]

But don't take my word for it. Learn from the expert Mystery. Of course there's a learning curve. http://www.blacklabelseduction.com/the-pickup-artist-season-2-episode-1-video/

 

"Woman have a certain number of attraction switches, and I know what they are." Mystery, The Pick Up Artist TV Show Expert

 

 

Oh dear Jesus. Don't you people see that getting pussy MEANS FUCKING NOTHING when it comes to life ? Mystery was/is a fucking nerve wreck WHILE being "the best pick up artist in the world" so recommending him to anyone is bullshit my friend.

[suninmyeyes]

The thing is you are asking wrong questions and seem so confused.Dont see the forest for the trees.

Maybe best would be try to cultivate mind and heart first.Uproot any bitternes and dissapointments.Do some volountary/humanitarian work a lot locally where you live,its good way to chanel the mind in a healthy way.

Becouse first you have to make yourself into what you want to attract.

Be patient and take life slowly and learn how to digest your sorrows.

You will be so attractive.

And as to masturbating and attractivness and all this questions if you follow what i suggested above you would know and understand things much more clearly.And will be able to follow your own intuition well .

Get working in right way or waste time ,its your choice.

[Encephalon]

My wife suggested we dispense with the generalizations of what women want or do not want, and simply be clear that people with painfully low ego strength are not attractive to themselves or others. This condition sends out an unmistakable vibe, all esoterica aside. I used to think that if I just manifested my gentleness, nonviolence, and sensitivity (crying at movies) that this would be enough to secure an intimate relationship. What I failed to realize is that personal power and self-acceptance is far more attractive to healthy people. Unfortunately, low ego strength, and self-loathing in general, has become an epidemic social pathology in most consumer cultures.

Kill your television!

[Tao99]

Oh dear Jesus. Don't you people see that getting pussy MEANS FUCKING NOTHING when it comes to life ? Mystery was/is a fucking nerve wreck WHILE being "the best pick up artist in the world" so recommending him to anyone is bullshit my friend.

Oh baby Buddha. Who said anything about playing the game just to fuck huh? That's all in your head relax.. I never did. I advised him on how to get the kind of g/f he wants - a long term one-only gf while being a VIRGIN if he wants. IT HAAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FUCKING FOR HIM, THAT"S BULLSHIT MY FRIEND.

 

And Mystery knows all sorts of socializing tricks that makes playing the game a whole lot easier. I bet he would blow you away in a club. He will have 10 babes comin back to his house to party, and that's regardless of if he's at a club or a church mixer trollin for virgins. Not me, how about you?

Edited January 24, 2010 by Tao99

[Encephalon]

Women can sense if men are too horny and that puts them off. The thing that Drew does isn't really not masturbating, it's taking the sexual energy and bringing it up to his third eye. Women do like third eye men.

 

 

Witch, could you elaborate on this? When I acquired the ability to pulse my brow chakra at will, a little over a month ago, it was a profoundly pleasant experience, but I did realize a corresponding drop in sex drive. It did not disappear, and it truly didn't feel like a loss of any kind, more like a new level of balance of energies. I can't rule out that I'm simply projecting, but it's been a very pleasant 5 weeks or so, and the imagery I get when I close my eyes or go to sleep is positively hallucinogenic (but I'm freakishly left-handed, too). Is this experience consistent with other 3rd eye phenomena? Thanks in advance.

[Enishi]

My wife suggested we dispense with the generalizations of what women want or do not want, and simply be clear that people with painfully low ego strength are not attractive to themselves or others. This condition sends out an unmistakable vibe, all esoterica aside. I used to think that if I just manifested my gentleness, nonviolence, and sensitivity (crying at movies) that this would be enough to secure an intimate relationship. What I failed to realize is that personal power and self-acceptance is far more attractive to healthy people. Unfortunately, low ego strength, and self-loathing in general, has become an epidemic social pathology in most consumer cultures.

Kill your television!

 

I think there is a lot of truth to what you're saying, but at least in my own experience, having a strong ego strength is most important in terms of "physical" attractiveness if you're a male.

 

I've been around women before who were VERY positive and had a strong sense of self, and while those factors do help, if they're very obese or have very loose wrinkly skin, I simply don't feel physically attracted to them, even if I like them on an emotional level.

 

On the other hand, I once went out to eat with a foreign Muslim girl who had relatively low ego strength but a very attractive body. I didn't feel particularly drawn to her on a personal level, but I was VERY physically attracted. The sense of vulnerability around her made it almost overpowering, and I was constantly having to do various mental tricks to keep myself from having an erection right there in public, lol.

Edited January 24, 2010 by Enishi

[Encephalon]

I don't know who criticized you, but please accept my support. For what it's worth. You were absolutely correct in your critic.

 

I certainly appreciate the comraderie, but I do have room for growth in the "Right speech" category, specifically, generous words. I was read that truth spoken with hostility is not truth; must've been the Zen Folk.

[Encephalon]

I think there is a lot of truth to what you're saying, but at least in my own experience, having a strong ego strength is most important in terms of "physical" attractiveness if you're a male.

 

I've been around women before who were VERY positive and had a strong sense of self, and while those factors do help, if they're very obese or have very loose wrinkly skin, I simply don't feel physically attracted to them, even if I like them on an emotional level.

 

On the other hand, I once went out to eat with a foreign girl who had relatively low ego strength but a very attractive body. I didn't feel particularily drawn to her on a personal level, but I was VERY physically attracted. The sense of vulnerability around her made it almost overpowering, and I was constantly having to do various mental tricks to keep myself from having an erection right there in public, lol.

 

I suppose this speaks to the perennial mystery of eros and agape, perfect and imperfect love, and so on.

I almost ruined myself and my relationship with a personal training client. A fabulously beautiful woman, Masters in psych., an Italian who speaks three languages, completely up to speed on Buddhist psychology. I never once had sexual fantasies about her in spite of her gym clothes-clad physique because I truly loved her soul - "To beautiful to lust after" - as one Renaissance Italian once said. There was only one problem - she was looking for the perfect man, and I wasn't it. And it probably had to do with the fact that I hated myself at that point in my life, and I'm sure it was palpable to others.

[Birch]

Oh there's a lot to say about this. Some questions:

 

- Why "should" women be monogamous?

 

- If you're a man who enjoys sleeping with different women in parallel, why "should" you expect women NOT to be doing something similar?

 

I agree with Witch that women tend towards monogamy when they're sleeping with a man.

 

This sometimes a)to our detriment because the rest of the "relationship" doesn't go with and to his detriment because he ends up with a monogamous women on his hands demanding same from him when he just wants lots of women;-)

 

Now if everyone a)knew what they wanted from a relationship and were fully honest about what they wanted - what would happen ?

 

Now if I read/see/hear another generalization about "all women are this" or "all guys are that" I may lose it.

[One love]

Oh baby Buddha. Who said anything about playing the game just to fuck huh? That's all in your head relax.. I never did. I advised him on how to get the kind of g/f he wants - a long term one-only gf while being a VIRGIN if he wants. IT HAAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FUCKING FOR HIM, THAT"S BULLSHIT MY FRIEND.

 

And Mystery knows all sorts of socializing tricks that makes playing the game a whole lot easier. I bet he would blow you away in a club. He will have 10 babes comin back to his house to party, and that's regardless of if he's at a club or a church mixer trollin for virgins. Not me, how about you?

 

I shall end my posting on this thread with the following

 

"If you want something real, why then play game(s) ?"

 

Good luck to all, my friends.

[Tao99]

I shall end my posting on this thread with the following

 

"If you want something real, why then play game(s) ?"

 

Good luck to all, my friends.

 

Hey dude no need to go on off. In the West, love is generally referred to as the Game of Love, because its not a life or death dead serious thing - you CAN live without it. That's all. It - the Game of Love - is just a poetic cliche, and can mean finding a one-only soulmate or a playmate. So its very real, but its not of critical import - it's just the game of love, because you CAN live without it. So that's all I meant.

[Capital]

If you fell that the opposite sex (or same sex, if you're into that) must be monogamous, then you better feel like you must act the same way. On the opposing side, if you feel that you don't have to be monogamous, you better give the same freedom to your partner.

 

It's that simple, people.

[Birch]

"It's that simple..."

 

Nope, so far IME it hasn't been quite that simple. Double standard anyone?

[Capital]

It is that simple. By saying it isn't, you are supporting the double standard that obviously annoys you. If you find a man who feels that you must be monogamous, but he does not, then kick him to the curb.

[Guest paul walter]

It is that simple. By saying it isn't, you are supporting the double standard that obviously annoys you. If you find a man who feels that you must be monogamous, but he does not, then kick him to the curb.

 

 

If we start looking at reality as it may exist seperate from articulated and re-inforced notions of human culture we might have to ask things such as: is marriage organized co-dependency? Are we supposed to be thinking about the sex act only a few times a year, in line with obvious biological markers contained within us, or ha Christianity given us the go ahead to shape our own lives even at the expense of our own survival/sanity (freewill)? What does it mean to have ANY freedom to know or regulate biological behaviour considering the chemical/cultural/egoic inputs that shape people from morning to night? Does the chaos of human social life give birth to its own fulfillment as people try and escape the resulting trauma through indulgence in the behaviours that are merely the result of the original confusion? I'll stop here. Paul.

[Non]

Oh there's a lot to say about this. Some questions:

 

- Why "should" women be monogamous?

 

- If you're a man who enjoys sleeping with different women in parallel, why "should" you expect women NOT to be doing something similar?

 

I agree with Witch that women tend towards monogamy when they're sleeping with a man.

 

This sometimes a)to our detriment because the rest of the "relationship" doesn't go with and to his detriment because he ends up with a monogamous women on his hands demanding same from him when he just wants lots of women;-)

 

Now if everyone a)knew what they wanted from a relationship and were fully honest about what they wanted - what would happen ?

 

Now if I read/see/hear another generalization about "all women are this" or "all guys are that" I may lose it.

 

Yea well, not all men simply want to have sex with tons of women. Ie, me I would be happy with just one.