Masturbation and Classical Music

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Can others please list their favorite classical music pieces to celebrate/abuse one's self to? Of course Beethoven is the best, especially the 3rd movement of the 9th symphony if one can time it just right, and J.S. Bach has a certain lovely mathematical rhythm and symmetry that is both inspiring and beautiful. I also like Philip Glass for the minimalist, repetitive drawn out sessions late at night, although one must be careful to avoid chafing the skin off one's manhood. Certainly 20th century atonal music is a challenge, and one must be a real maestro to accomplish this feat. My latest discovery is Bartok, especially while looking at models in the Sears catalogue.

Edited January 25, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[voidisyinyang]

I have a whole blog about why western music is against Taoism:

 

http://naturalresonancerevolution.blogspot.com

 

thanks for adding more fuel for the fire.

 

Can others please list their favorite classical music pieces to celebrate one's self to? Of course Beethoven is the best, especially the 3rd movement of the 9th symphony if one can time it just right, and Bach has a certain mathematical rhythm and symmetry that is both inspiring and beautiful. I also like Philip Glass for the minimalist, repetitive drawn out sessions late at night, although one must be careful to avoid chafing the skin off one's manhood. Certainly 20th century atonal music is a challenge, and one must be a real maestro to accomplish this feat. My latest discovery is Bartok, especially while looking at models in the Sears catalogue.

[Guest paul walter]

I have a whole blog about why western music is against Taoism:.

 

 

 

And masturbating is too--they were made for each other!

But seriously---Terry Riley, Philip Glass, Michael Nyman for the desperate straight up and down repetition (both fast and slow)

Johann Strauss for those lazy spring/summer days when you got lots of time to build to an ejaculatory climax

Stockhausen, Xenakis, Cage for the motoring enthusiasts (see companion thread)

Richard Strauss if you're a bit of a die-hard romantic

Wagner for the S&M fantasies

Schubert for syphilitics (he died of it--if you listen carefully to his later works you can hear it represented by the key of D minor I think) Bach for Protestant girls who fantasise about the young,white, bearded Jesus.

Monteverdi for Catholic girls who fantasise about the young, white, bearded Jesus

Berlioz for those with small peni (makes you feel bigger!)

For celibates a visit to any concert hall where people practice jing retention through

sublimating the sex drive through indulgence in culture (not too far from the truth,actually).

 

and...Andrew Lloyd Webber for wankers!

 

Anyway, someone might be amused...Paul.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Can others please list their favorite classical music pieces to celebrate/abuse one's self to? Of course Beethoven is the best, especially the 3rd movement of the 9th symphony if one can time it just right, and J.S. Bach has a certain lovely mathematical rhythm and symmetry that is both inspiring and beautiful. I also like Philip Glass for the minimalist, repetitive drawn out sessions late at night, although one must be careful to avoid chafing the skin off one's manhood. Certainly 20th century atonal music is a challenge, and one must be a real maestro to accomplish this feat. My latest discovery is Bartok, especially while looking at models in the Sears catalogue.

 

Holst's suite the planets, in particular Mars - Bringer of war I find to be exceptionally stimulating when in need a bit of inspiration. Rhythm is the key, but there are inherent dangers in this piece particularly towards the end... but it does remind you of Star Wars and princess Layer a bit(Empire strikes back, 'Jabba the Hut' costume).

 

I would like to make it clear that I do not advocate this practice to beginners, but to seasoned veterans such as myself.

 

Mercury the winged messenger is way too whimsical a piece to even attempt and steer well clear of Saturn - Bringer of old age, for obvious reasons.

 

For anyone who would like to try this advanced practice you can click on the link below and try them out for yourself as there are sound files that can be played.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Planets

 

ps: If you do opt for Mars - Bringer of war, then it helps to imagine world domination during the process. This is only based on my own experience of course.

[Guest paul walter]

.... but it does remind you of Star Wars and princess Layer a bit(Empire strikes back, 'Jabba the Hut' costume).

 

.

 

I think that's Leia, or maybe not depending on your mood.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

I think that's Leia, or maybe not depending on your mood.

 

You're right, but you can see my train of thought when it mid-swing can't you.

[Eric23]

Mendelssohn's Symphony #4, Italian. All four movements

[Guest paul walter]

Mendelssohn's Symphony #4, Italian. All four movements

 

Now THAT would give you repetitive strain injury!! The last two movements would wear away bone .

[Eric23]

Now THAT would give you repetitive strain injury!! The last two movements would wear away bone .

 

Requires plenty of lube

[Stigweard]

//--> This topic has been been moved to the Off Topic Forum by moderators:

 

<-- The Mod Squad -->

[Sunya]

Nobody mentioned Beethoven's 7th symphony 2nd movement? my gawddddddd. you don't even have to touch yourself to climax!!!