Whoa, black smoke... "pain body" ... and golden light?

[Mizu]

Hello everyone! I'm new here. I hope you'll read my story as its VERY interesting...

 

Okay so basically for the longest time I always thought I had a lazy eye in my left eye. So whenever talking to people for years and years I would always squint that eye to "hide it" anyways, oneday I noticed people squinting back at me and almost like a flinch from them mirroring me. One day, and this is what got me searching for answers, we got a new kitten and she comes up to me and her left eye starts squinting too!!!!! It's like this black hole negative energy field thats affecting everyone. Sometimes when I talk to people they even rub their left eye and feel uncomfortable.

 

So I started practicing Kunlun Bliss... and some weeiiiirrrrdddd things are happening. I think I'm starting to "see" energy... for example I'm sitting in class today and I look at my teacher and I swear its like I see this black smoke cloud start forming around her left shoulder and she keeps moving her head towards it, almost like a nervous tick / jerk. When she moves the cloud sort of follows her. I'm just like WHOA what the hell... then, I feel my eye start hurting (the left one) and I look and my teachers left eye starts closing and its almost like black smoke / darkness / pain body / whatever you wanna call it is surrounding her eye and mine starts HURTING and then her voice fluctuated a little bit like a nervous person, she sort of moves her head back... then it got even weirder. like this GOLDEN whitish light started SURROUNDING her left eye socket and shoulder, the black smoke disappears, and then all of a sudden her whole body seemed to subtly glow golden light and she went back to normal happy smiling teaching mode... then all of a sudden I felt my eye and NO PAIN, I felt LIGHTER, it was like a good giggly feeling inside... even the guy next to me kept looking at me and we were laughing together almost for no reason..

 

Can anyone explain this or help me? I'm sort of scared, this is so far out of most peoples realities they probably wont even believe me.

Edited February 11, 2010 by Mizu

[Mizu]

OKAY... WHOA..... guys. I just got REALLY sleepy after typing this. So I decided to take a nap.

 

I put my head down for what must of been 20 mintues, and then the dream beagan. It was me, outside of my body, looking at my body laying in bed, and all of a sudden I felt INTENSE fear like, I thought I was going to die. I was being DRAGGED/PULLED towards my closet across the floor, almost like I was A TRAIN, this HUGE magnetic pull. My feet were tingling and on fire when I woke up. Dudes, it was like how in kunlun bliss it says " surrender to your divine flow " or when eckhart tolle was being "sucked into the void and a voice said 'resist nothing' or ever heard "go with the flow of the universe"

 

anyoneeeeee experience anything like this?? Should I stop resisting this fear of death in these moments and "go with the flow" ? I'm afriad I'll die in my sleep. which might be a good thing as I am tremendously suffering right now. (I being my ego, aka pain body aka illusions)

 

but what if I dont wake up and end up being pulled into the afterlife, leaving my body? scared, confused,

 

mizu

 

 

edit...so i looked up the direction I was being VIOLENTLY pulled in on google maps and it appears to point from santa barbara, CA to SOUTHEAST which ends up being the south of africa, cape town area... the odd thing is, that looks like where all the original land masses originated and 'fit' together like a puzzle... uhhh maybe I'm looking too much into this but if thats the case, thats the source of all life aka the begining formation of our very planet? who knows :| maybe I'm just mumbling

Edited February 11, 2010 by Mizu

[Phoenix]

It sounds to me like your practice has cleared a blockage in your own body. I think it's more likely that you were seeing a projection of what was happening in yourself rather than something going on in your teacher. I wouldn't be surprised if your "lazy eye" has already improved or improves over the next few days or weeks.

 

In general, energy practice can create some odd and intense experiences. The single best thing to do is to relax, not just while the weird stuff is happening, but as much as possible in your daily life. And while you practice, you should be as deeply relaxed as possible.

 

Energy techniques in the tradition I practice have been taught in a retreat setting over the centuries in order to create a relaxed, safe space where everyone knows weird stuff might happen and won't judge you insane when it does. Feel free to use this site as a support network where you can air your concerns; that may help with the weirdness.

 

I'm not a Kunlun practitioner, and I'll be interested to hear what those who are have to say about your experience. I'd also be interested in hearing how people generally deal with integrating these weird experiences into their daily lives.

 

Finally, I don't know where you learned Kunlun. If you learned it from a teacher, now would be a good time to go back to that individual and ask him or her about what is happening to you. If you don't have a teacher, I'd highly recommend finding one.

[Phoenix]

OKAY... WHOA..... guys. I just got REALLY sleepy after typing this. So I decided to take a nap.

 

Just to clarify -- I was responding to your first post above. I think this one went up while I was responding to the other one.

 

This may have been an astral travel experience, but I'm far out of my ken here. But don't worry, others will respond in time. For now, try to relax and know I'm sending you the best vibes I can.

[Aetherous]

I am tremendously suffering right now

 

Hope things improve 4 u.

[Guest winpro07]

when your own veils get very permeable there is a mirroring between beings.Like attracts like. We kind light up each others problems by matching similar frequency or color or patterns. People do this all the time, but through the mind and so matching takes the form of dream or pictures without ever being aware of why those pictures came up. When the veils get thinner the energy that the thought forms/dreams/pictures was based on become visible in it's unfiltered form.

often there's a mixing the real perception of energy and mind matter as representation of energy. In the end it doesn't matter how the truth is viewed, as images, color, light or sound. It all has the same source.

 

when the veils get thin there is access to vast information and many ability in this life and from many other. Only you can say what it means for you

[Mizu]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Never have I received so much love and help from a community b4 . I am (can't wait!!!) going to a kunlun seminar with one of the lead instructors, I cant wait to get a portion of his magnetic energy transfered. I heard he might be able to do private healings too.

 

Oh and I didn't mention this either but...

 

Remember the old master's saying that "for every great high point in your awakening, there will be low points". You have to come back to your normal world and life. You will see things within yourself that you don’t want to see. The mind and body trash that you have hidden away will be shown to you. This is part of knowing yourself, you have to see the negative things in yourself, and change them yourself.

 

Also when I do kunlun bliss practice, I feel this NUMB tingling dark energy under my left eye... it usually stays with me all day then goes dormant after it saps my vitality and energy. (I've had dark circles under my eyes for years for no reason) It's almost as if kunlun forces it to the surface, do you guys have any tips for transmuting the negative blocked energy or releasing it? Thank you again

 

oh and I THINK sooo much every day. Should I start meditating? What should be my focus, still mind for as long as possible? I mean, I can barely listen to people speak or pay attention in class or even be present because my mind chatter is so much...

 

I wouldn't be surprised if your "lazy eye" has already improved or improves over the next few days or weeks.

 

I hope so. That's exactly why I got into this energy / spiritual work in the first place (to improve my eyesight)... here read this its really cool.. [originally posted by me 1 month ago on tolle forums]

 

Hello everyone, just started reading up on the good ol' Tolle. My pain body is a weird one. Growing up I had bad eyesight and a slight lazy eye. I was always super self conscious and nervous (Still am) around people and for the past year every time someone looks at me I notice their left eye squints. Oneday my friend goes "hey when you look at me your left eye squints..." as his was as well. Like, I INFECT people with that energy. I started to become conscious of it and now its like a subtle SUCKING BLACK HOLE everyone I look at I can see their eye squinting and they get weirded out and nervous when they talk to me... so anyways my is poor and the cause of bad eyesight is tension in the eye muscles... so Tolle talks about the pain body as sometimes a tense constricting force that blocks life energy, I applied this "bringing the light" into my eyes and WOW WOW WOW I started to feel myeyes get soft warm and relax... sort of like expanding awareness on all senses!! I felt INCREDIBLE I even smelled / tasted better and my eyesight literally starting improving before my very eyes!!!! like, I have an eye chart in my room because I practice the Bates method (natural eyesight improvement) and it went from ~20/200 to literally 20/40 and I felt like an EXPANSION of energy and I felt really good. The colors were more rich and vivid... I became aware if subtle things (as I said before taste, smell, sounds, EYESIGHT IMPROVED etc...) I can't put it into words other than EXPANSION of energy and awareness... I just felt REALLY good and lighter - weightless kind of. I went for a drive and same thing, got these fluctuating "clear flashes" of good vision followed by bursts of intense presence, centerdness, "in the moment"... the inner chatter quieted down and I was feeling the music in my car, like the booming bass, it sounded INCREDIBLE I couldn't help but bob my head, it felt SO GOOD. I cant put it into words... I could just FEEL the music.)

 

but this was all fragile because as quick as it came on, it quickly faded as soon as I got back to the apartment with the roommates.

 

Is this a taste enlightenment? Is this what enlightenment, or on the path of it is??? I felt alive, strong, happy... A little bit of the pain was still there in my eyes and otherwise (read below) but still it was so much more depth and sensation than anything I've felt in YEARS.

 

but the thing is, as I go deep into this unconscious eye tension strain/clenching etc all these weird feelings keep coming up, like I feel pain in my eyes (and under the left eye socket) and chest,abdomen,stomach... almost like a stinging. I even am getting constricted breathing on and off/sternum pain on and off...I couldnt even sleep last night... I also feel this odd cold sensation too....like a TINGLING.... that's the best way to describe it.

 

is this a normal part of the process of dissolving the pain body?

 

oh and when I felt good my voice got deeper, louder, richer and resonate too... like...wow. Before my voice was kind of shallow and higher ptched because I guess I walk around nervous all the time around people so my diaphragm or eyes cant relax....

but just then it felt GOOD to even breath and TALK lol.... ... I'm hoping I'm on the right track here. I don't want these teachings to lead me down a weird dangerous harmful path.....

 

so anyways please let me know if this process is normal. Besides feeling tingly and the odd stinging bitter numb dark "pain" that keeps coming up and staying with me under my left eye, I feel like I can't feel love or warmth or much of any emotion / sensation either, like, we just got a kitten and I literally feel sorta numb to it, like I'm trying to pet it but I dont feel love towards it at all, I try and I try but it just isnt working :| OH and get this lol, I look the cat in the eyes and HIS LITTLE LEFT EYE SQUINTS AT ME TOO! hahaha It's like a blackhole pain body that sucks all living creatures into it...humans and animals! scary... he also closes his eyes (Squints) a lot when he looks at me, I think he might be becoming myopic/nearsighted like me (( or he senses pain in my eyes when he looks at me...

 

Oh and also my roommates are like telling stories in the den cracking up and I CANT LAUGH its like this weird nervous energy builds up and gets blocked inside me and my facial and eye muscles get all tense and I feel bad and then get hyoer-nervous....I cant "vibe" with them or listen or even feel the joy and laughter they are feeling. I can't "follow their stories" I just get self conscious and nervous like all this built up energy and tension in my face and body. I couldnt even make eye contact because im embarassed as to why thats happening...

 

but I think I'm bringing light on all these unconscious painful feelings I carried around for years, as tolle says..

 

oh and I feel exhausted and am getting dark circles under my eyes too..... :[[[

 

SO CONFUSED, advice would be great, or if I'm doing it wrong please let me know. Is this normal during purification? Thanks everyone. I hope this is a normal part of the healthy process of freeing up blocked unconscious pain body energy and coming into joy and enlightenment and aliveness!!

Edited February 11, 2010 by Mizu

[Sunya]

OKAY... WHOA..... guys. I just got REALLY sleepy after typing this. So I decided to take a nap.

 

I put my head down for what must of been 20 mintues, and then the dream beagan. It was me, outside of my body, looking at my body laying in bed, and all of a sudden I felt INTENSE fear like, I thought I was going to die. I was being DRAGGED/PULLED towards my closet across the floor, almost like I was A TRAIN, this HUGE magnetic pull. My feet were tingling and on fire when I woke up. Dudes, it was like how in kunlun bliss it says " surrender to your divine flow " or when eckhart tolle was being "sucked into the void and a voice said 'resist nothing' or ever heard "go with the flow of the universe"

 

anyoneeeeee experience anything like this?? Should I stop resisting this fear of death in these moments and "go with the flow" ? I'm afriad I'll die in my sleep. which might be a good thing as I am tremendously suffering right now. (I being my ego, aka pain body aka illusions)

 

but what if I dont wake up and end up being pulled into the afterlife, leaving my body? scared, confused,

 

mizu

 

 

 

you identify with your body, and responded with fear.. that fear then created your experience of being dragged since in the dream state all is mind. you can try to contemplate the impermanence of the physical body.. how it will die and decay one day, maybe visualize this happening as you lie down, completely let go of all aspects of the body by relaxing and visualize body as pure white light. maybe that'll help.

 

what do you mean by afterlife? there is no after-life, this is all life, where can you point the separation? there are different bodies of expression but there is no 'you', that's the ego talking.

 

yes yes, surrender, and do meditate by resting in pure basic presence, or the awareness that is prior to all experience, thought, sensation. you should do this formally by sitting but also extend throughout the day in class, while walking, while talking, while breathing. be mindful of every sensation and don't get caught up in thoughts. always take a step back and observe the field of awareness.

 

that might be too difficult if you are overly absorbed in thoughts.. so, if so, you should do shamata (concentration) and vipassana (insight) meditations. This is a great site to explore - http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/1st+Gear

 

keep going!