What is your true purpose?

[sean]

I've been consumed the last several weeks with finding, or at least clarifying my life's purpose. Pretty dramatic I know. It all started when I read How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes by Steve Pavlina. Well, it didn't work very well for me. I set aside blocks and blocks of uninterrupted hours and poured out pages and pages and pages of ideas. Emotions came up, yet still no tears.

 

Yet it awoke this primal tension in me that I believe I've carried around since early childhood. Feeling like I have a lot to contribute, and I have all this intensity and tons of interests but not knowing what the fuck my deepest calling is. I really have a millions interests too and am constantly juggling projects, books, art, classes, websites, therapies, etc, etc. But I don't feel like I am ever going to master any of them because I am so busy multi-tasking and juggling that my attention rarely persists to a subject's depths as much as I'd like.

 

David Deida talks about how this is particularly painful for those of us with male essences. Whereas the feminine essence can feel deeply fulfilled by loving and feeling loved by family, community and so on, for the masculine essenced person, all the love in the world is not enough to fill the void left by an unclear purpose. This could explain an aspect of why many men drown themselves in their career pursuits at the expense of their love life; they are still seeking this purpose. Purposefulness is the masculine perserverance to deeply penetrate something linearly and then empty oneself through it to become free. Whereas the femine essence is to open up to and be filled up by an expansion of love so as to ultimately become love.

 

So I paid for this career test over at LiveCareer ... pretty cool. My top results were Performing Arts, Art, Medical and Health Care, Social Services, Funeral Services, Renewable Resource Technology, Architectural Technology, Drafting and Design, Science and Engineering, Communication Arts, Library Science, Agriculture and Animal Science, Social Science. Pretty varied list. And of course all of them seem interesting. Which is the right one? Which is the closest to my deepest, personal values and makes the best use of my natural talents? Which one would inspire me to commit to push through the painful challenges of another 4-6 years of school and a bunch of debt to succeed?

 

Last week I found this cool Life Purpose coach named Jay Earley in my area and checked out his free e-book. I think I might give him a call if I don't figure all this out myself. He seems to have really broken the process down in his decades of hands on work and research.

 

He references a bunch of books in that e-book, so I looked them all up on amazon.com. One of the books he highly recommends is Wishcraft by Barbara Sher. Turns out she has a brand new book called Refuse to Choose that ships in March. The main idea seems to be that there are some people who she calls "scanners" whose life purpose is to perpetually juggle and dabble and synthesize. "Sher tells Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability. She also states that they must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others." Interesting concept, I'm thinking I'll pre-order it.

 

Then today I stumbled across the following story on Eric Maisel's blog (great creativity coach whose book Fearless Creating I checked out last year.) I was feeling particularly sensitive today and it tapped into some sore spots and brought up some tears (which is curiously rare for me):

 

"Magdalene, a dancer, came to the oasis.

 

'I have too many interests, too many talents,' she said. She had on the bluest dress, which made her eyes look wild and fierce. "First, I dance. But I also have a painter's eye. And I love to write. I've been keeping journals for years and years and have thirty fat journals filled with my thoughts. I do collages, digital photography, raku. I write songs. I want to put this all together into something, I want to figure out how to concentrate on one thing, because--" She hesitated. 'The fact of the matter is, I never complete anything. I start all these incredible projects but then something else starts to interest me more and I begin on it. That's what's been happening," she ended, trailing off as if her thoughts had failed her.'"

Read the rest here

 

Looks like I got some self-worth/esteem work ahead of me because I think deep down inside, despite all the spiritual books and practices I work with, and as much as I really do want to find my true will, I really do still have this dark belief in my core, that ultimately there is no point to doing anything because, basically we are all just fighting a losing battle with suffering, illness, old age, loss and inevitably death. Who am I to think I matter? That I have or deserve to find a meaningful purpose much less live it when there is all this pain and tragedy in the world? Or that anything I create could be worth anything anyway?

 

Crap like that.

 

But enough about me, what about you? Do you know or have an idea about what your true purpose is? How do you feel about your level of clarity on your calling in life?

 

Sean

[Emelgee]

But enough about me, what about you? Do you know or have an idea about what your true purpose is? How do you feel about your level of clarity on your calling in life?

 

Sean

 

 

Hey Sean,

 

Has anyone ever mentioned that you might (just possibly) think too much? If not, I will run the gauntlet and just raise it as a possibility.

 

But bear in mind with the above comment that I am a reformed thinker! Oh, how I can torture myself when I choose to Thankfully, these self imposed tortures are becoming less and less common.

 

My purpose in life is to be me. Before I could be me I had to stop thinking about what being me meant. I will put in an excerpt from Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" that I always find useful if I start becoming too attracted to the meanderings of my mind...

 

-----

"Just be yourself" is good advice, but it can also be misleading. The mind will come in and say, "Let's see. How can I be myself?" Then, the mind will develop some kind of strategy: "How to be myself." Another role.

 

"How can I be myself" is, in fact, the wrong question. It implies you have to do something to be yourself. But 'how' doesn't apply here because you 'are' yourself already. Just stop adding unnecessary baggage to who you already are.

 

"But I don't know who I am. I don't know what it means to be myself."

 

If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what's left is who you are - the being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality rather than something that is already defined.

 

Emelgee.

[Cameron]

I feel very blessed since I can work in my family business and basically always had that there to fall back on. I will probably get involved in other business ventures as time, money and opportunities present themselves.

 

Really, to tell the truth, my will or ego was not involved in any of my life career/work decisions. Every job I had in the last 10 years just sort of happened and I see, atleast at an unconsious level, how everything I have done has been helpful to my work now.

 

The two trains of thought in spiritual practice-whether to guide the process or allow the process to happen-is basically the same in everyday life affairs I think.

 

You can either get really involved with the will-and my guess is many if not most very successful people followed this path. They had a vision, a goal, a strong ambition of some sort and kept focused on what they wanted and accomplished it. Or the allow everything to happen naturally path-which has defiently been my path so far in life- basically just embrace what comes to you. Not really involve the will so much as be awake-LISTEN- to subtle or not so subtle opportunities that may present themselves and flow with it.

 

I think you can sort of intuitively gather which boat your in, whether opportunities arise more when your just accepting and open to them or you need to really make things happen. I don't have any judgement probably both are good or work well depending on the individual and there stage in life.

 

Just words...

Edited February 23, 2006 by Cameron

[Lozen]

I know that my Western astrology says I have a grand trine in water, and this means that my three-fold life purpose is supposed to be healing in one-on-one relationships, writing and editing, and undermining authority for the common good. And then in my Chinese astrology chart, it says that my purpose is, well, let's just say I have four stars in one little box, and they are scholar's music, scholar's wealth, sun, and moon, and it is in the health box, so they say I am supposed to do some kind of medical research. And then my psychic told me I was supposed to do some kind of healing work, eventually lecturing and teaching workshops and putting out books and videos, where I get to somehow be one of the few healers who will be attuned to the link between people's emotions and their physical well-being, and how the two interrelate. I told her TCM already did this, but she said that her acupuncturists have never asked her about her mother complex, and all t hat, lol. She also told me that she could see me becoming a personal trainer, and teaching self-defense to normal people (as in, non martial-artists). But then right now I am so incredibly focused on self-healing, which is manifesting in, well, excercising, meditating, paying attention to my diet, training hard, and working through my complete money makeover, that I have no idea when I'll be "done" and ready to actually fulfill this so-called purpose of mine. I mean I am always writing articles, researching, making salves and oils and teas and liniments and powders and things. And I suppose that healing isn't something that need consume you as a career, that I do it in little ways every day, but still. Oh and when I was working with Mark Blessington he seemed to think that my words indicated that I am supposed to do some kind of research especially as it relates to social issues, health and healing, and ecology. But hell if I know how to turn my 9-5 into that! (Okay not really a 9-5, ha ha). I think my biggest problem is that I'm not willing to get in debt to fulfill a life purpose, whether it's acupuncture school or herb school or going back to study journalism or even starting a business, so I feel like it's a bit of an impossibility on some level. But who knows? I feel like I need to spend the next year or two getting where I really want to be physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually/financially, not perfect, but better, and that if I pray really hard and make positive changes then maybe I will be put in a situation where I can accomplish my purpose, whatever it is?

[neimad]

hey sean

 

*hug* my brother i can empathise with you entirely. i am very much the same.... a million ideas, a million goals, a million projects. i got so many books stacked up i don't know where to begin and i read several at a time, many go uncompleted... set aside for 'another time'.

 

anyways what is the common theme between every single one of these things you try to do?

 

what is it?

 

for me it's because i want to progress/evolve and deepen my experience of this life, this universe and to realise my true potential. because i want to 'be'.

wow.

but sometimes i get so lost in trying to 'be' that i forget i already am! the journey through all this stuff is the reason we came here..... my dear friend isira gave me an example of when she was swimming with dolphins and she observed that the nature of their world under water is essentially gravity free.... in that respect they do anything they can to get above the surface and 'sip' at gravity. that's what we are here for man.... to 'sip' at this dense, overwhelming experience that this planet and this dimension offers.

 

i have had to cut a lot out of my life that i just don't see going anywhere. there comes a time when you have to ask... is this really necessary??? to just 'be' to experience love.... do i need to do all of this?

 

so my friend i wish you all the best and i know that you will succeed because you are so driven, it is the only possible outcome.

 

[RedFox]

to Choose[/url] that ships in March. The main idea seems to be that there are some people who she calls "scanners" whose life purpose is to perpetually juggle and dabble and synthesize. "Sher tells Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability. She also states that they must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others." Interesting concept, I'm thinking I'll pre-order it.

 

Jesus... that describes me pretty well. As does the whole of your post, actually. If you get her book, I'd be interested in a brief review.

 

I struggle with this daily. I've come to see it as a liability most of the time. Especially as I continue to train in RMAX right now. The deeper I get into it, the more I realize I have plucked all the low hanging cherries, and to take it deeper, its going to require a lot more focus and work. Sometimes I wonder if my tendencies to scan reflect some deeper fear of success/mastery (self esteem/self worth issues, as you mentioned) or aversion to the self-discipline that such mastery would take,or just being not willing to cope with what I might perceive as boredom if I stuck with one thing. If I want tears or other extreme emotions, all I gotta do is keep practicing. Every few days something wells up.

 

But, at the same time, I also have to consider that my scanning may not be random or purposeless. many times, one "way out there" interest helps develop a quality or attribute (rather than a specific skill) that I need to begin or appreciate something else. And, that in the last year or two, the scanning seems to be more focused to a narrower band of things. And I consider occasionally that this trait could create opportunities to synthesize all these things that appear unrelated. Sometimes I see those connections, but not often. I don't know... maybe my life purpose won't become apparent until until I'm a little closer to the end of my life?

 

Thanks for posting this. I will take a look at those links. Sounds like relevant reading.

[Cameron]

I would also like to add the times in my life I felt I was not following the path was when I resisted or rejected what was coming to me. Like the universe gives you on a silver platter exactly what you thought you wanted and then when the moment and time arises you hesitate, withdraw, change your mind etc etc.

 

So, for me, part of the challenge is not just knowing what you want or being open to knowing what you want, but then having the courage to step up when it's time and take it.

 

This latter challenge has really been my test. Developing the courage to 'step up' when what you want or being open to whatever and then the universe shows you. To live without this hesitation, fear(perhaps fear reactivity) and ego based trauma that prevents freedom of spirit to choose is my goal.

[Yoda]

Sean,

 

It's difficult to find a guru, coach, author, or CEO who is as happy as your everyday little kid. Keep that in mind as you read those books!

 

-Yoda

[liminal_luke]

[Ian]

 

My purpose in life is to be me. Before I could be me I had to stop thinking about what being me meant.

 

Entirely.

 

I have been watching people who are exposed to teachings which express your point.

 

It seems that there are two circumstances in which a person will accept the truth that thinking about it simply will not help.

 

One is if they hear it from someone who embodies it, i.e has a profound ability to direct their own resources away from thought.

Two is simply if they have suffered enough at the hands of their own thoughts.

 

Preferably both.

 

Otherwise the mind will always find a way to justify its role.

 

It's such a relief to be able to have an attitude of "shut up you, I've heard it all before"

 

Anyway, enough. I'm not quite sure what my point was.

 

Love and peace to all and sundry,

Ian

[Mandrake]

 

 

Anyway, enough. I'm not quite sure what my point was.

 

 

 

Hahah, whatever, the "shut up you, I've heard it all before" is a little gem. So much of humanity's suffering is made up in the individual. I'm bewildered that not more people just drop the garbage.

 

Yeah, why're we using our suffering muscles??!!

 

Mandrake

[Mandrake]

I too have too many interests. Some friends join up in my jealousy of those that have a single interest which they're passionate about. No hesitation about what to do in life.

Of course you have to do things that resonate with your self and not force anything on you because of others - it's perfectly ok to just be ordinary. But then we live our lives, and to master life, there are many paths to walk, all in their due time, that will further evolve us and open up our mind (blablablah).

 

I think there's a huge reward in mastering a field/skill that is impossible if you dabble a bit here, a bit there and so on. There's an entirely different perspective and gratification in mastering a skill than you find in easy, instantly accessible experiences. Besides, gaining proficiency produces momentum and insight that spills over in other parts of your life, so the gain is exponential in many ways.

 

I myself have had to realize that too much energy is spent reviewing options, struggling, wavering on and on, and finally just had to decide to do X 'cause no bad will come from that (X), just good.

It's funny, 1 hour a day on a subject will bring you some real skill after a while.

 

Mandrake

[turbo]

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

http://www.myersbriggs.org/

 

If you want to find what you are best suited to do (whether or not this is your purpose) then the above resuorces will be of interest. The Myers Briggs test is a standard for finding what people have a aptitude to do. The enneagram may be useful too. There are many other enneagram resuorces out there but the one above is extremely well thought out and may be usefull to you. There are several books by those guys and they are pretty interesting.

 

Man's Search for Meaning by Joseph Frankel would be a good read for someone in your shoes.

 

Best of luck,

T

[Smile]

Was wandering if you got my reply to PM, Mandrake. I tried to send it a few times but it seems like it's not getting through.

 

Yet it awoke this primal tension in me that I believe I've carried around since early childhood. Feeling like I have a lot to contribute, and I have all this intensity and tons of interests but not knowing what the fuck my deepest calling is. I really have a millions interests too and am constantly juggling projects, books, art, classes, websites, therapies, etc, etc. But I don't feel like I am ever going to master any of them because I am so busy multi-tasking and juggling that my attention rarely persists to a subject's depths as much as I'd like.

I could closely relate to what you just said Sean. Add to it 'To annoy Winn' and you get the complete picture.

Edited February 24, 2006 by Smile

[三江源]

.

Edited April 18, 2015 by 三江源

[TwoTrees]

Amidst the constant discovery of my innermost self and the universe, I've adapted best to service.

This in itself has an endless array of option...

 

Thousands of things are thought of and done by a person every day that lend either strength or weakness to that persons character and ability. Could learning patterns be of importance?

 

That old saying of Edith Wharton's that goes

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it"

has echoed in me from the first time I looked at the words on a gravestone some odd years ago... That whole feeling of carrying sunnyshining happiness around everywhere you go so that perhaps you can spill a little of it onto yourself in the process of giving so much good spirit - people look at it in different ways ranging from in perfect agreement and love for it to loathing it because of the idea that it only goes so far for some people and that "shit end of the stick" syndrome has stuck it to them hard in the past and blockages may have not yet been removed or for some reason has been able to survive within the thought process and an absent-hiding-behind-the-scenes monstear rears its ugly head subconsciously.

 

One fun goal to play around with is to uplift people, as much as I can.

And help them to the paths of realization that lends capacity for meaningful lives.

Because there most certainly is meaing to life.

 

Edited February 26, 2006 by TwoTrees

[Mitch]

I don't believe in destiny or a preset purpose, so "What is my life's purpose" isn't something I ask anymore. I ask: "What experiences do I want to have?"

 

I can really relate to what you wrote Sean. I've agonized over what I should I do with my life ... what was I meant to do for years. I also have many interests and not enough time to do them all well. I'm definitely a scanner. One of the greatest benefits of scanning is that you have a greater array of tools to use to achieve the experiences you want. The catch is what do you want?

 

I've come to the conclusion that personality and interests are pliable and can be changed to suite whatever experience you want to have. Once I was able to experience pure awareness without thought, it became much clearer that you are really in control of how you experience the world, and a personality and identity is something you create for yourself, but isn't really you. It's more like a toy that you play with.

 

I'm moving away from grasping for things outside of myself for fulfillment and looking more inward. I'm focusing on who I want to be rather than allowing life circumstances and past reactions to decide for me. I've advanced more in 3 years using the "watching meditation" than any other method, belief, prayer, etc.

 

When Papaji became enlightened he still had to decide what kind of person he wanted to be. So even if you gain enlightenment it doesn't mean that you can sidestep your human personality.

 

... now I'm starting to ramble so I'll end it at that.

[tumoessence]

I know we've talked about this from a different angle, but if its purpose you want then have kids. In the meantime follow your heart and concentrate on the essentials of what you want, then give of that. But we often don't appreciate how much time we have until we have kids or something equally dramatic happens to us.

I think in this era we create our purpose, just like we give meaning to life, not discover it exclusively. If you don't know what your purpose is make one up, until you create the next one. Most like the one you make up is the one you're given. And don't forget to have fun. My kids remind me of that.