Celibacy

[jago25_98]

As an experiment, over the past 3 months I managed to avoid cumming for 2 of those months straight in a row. This includes wet dreams and wanking. Meditation helped me along the way.

 

I noticed some great effects and I really liked the results.

So did women. Along came one and persuaded me to give it all up a week ago.

 

I really liked how it was before without the sex. In fact, if I had to choose I'd choose no sex because that is a surer path.

 

But I also love the company of women. So the goal now is -be with women, but don't cum.... unless for making children.

 

Does anyone else have experience with this and how to handle people in this situation.

 

-j

[Athanor]

I noticed some great effects and I really liked the results.

Would you mind telling us, who've never practiced this, about the effects and results you mentioned? I'm really curious.

[shaolin]

Me too, it sounds great

[markern]

I am going to try for 30 days now myself as I need it for health reasons. Otherwise I would not bother. I to love the effects. Realy wonderfull.

 

DOne right you will get a good deal more beneficial energy having sex without ejaculations. But, there are a lot of pitfals in that aproach. It is much easier to get it balanced when having sex with a women than just wanking. Reuniting.info has some valuable information. alchemicaltaoism also. These two threads also have information that is important for managing non ejaculatory sex well:

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?showtopic=9421&st=0

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/13922-making-love-with-the-earth/

 

The most important thing seems to be balancing heart energy and sexual energy.

[gendao]

As an experiment, over the past 3 months I managed to avoid cumming for 2 of those months straight in a row. This includes wet dreams and wanking. Meditation helped me along the way.

 

I noticed some great effects and I really liked the results.

So did women. Along came one and persuaded me to give it all up a week ago.

 

I really liked how it was before without the sex. In fact, if I had to choose I'd choose no sex because that is a surer path.

 

But I also love the company of women. So the goal now is -be with women, but don't cum.... unless for making children.

 

Does anyone else have experience with this and how to handle people in this situation.

 

-j

Yea, I can relate. That's kinda my informal lifestyle and "goal" right now too. Except I try to just limit sexual contact with women, rather than forcefully retain. Pushing it to the edge and holding back is too tempting right now, plus I fear it may lead to postnatal jing stagnation... So better for me to avoid the situations, unless I'm willing to take a break & go all the way. Edited March 19, 2010 by vortex

[tumoessence]

Since I am married I really like having sex with not cumming. But working with energy is not the whole story. The other half is disciplining the imagination. I know I am attracted to all sorts of women. I like how they look. they are strangers I don't know them, but their looks and how the move really attract me. That attraction creates pictures in my mind allowing me to choose how to play with them or not. I think circulating the image created as well as the feeling associated with it is very important. Since I don't all the strangers I am attracted to I ascribe the image to that of the goddess and praise her in her beauty and thank her for another glimpse into it.

 

He is an article, excuse the western esoteric perspective, but i presents a new kind of view for me.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/9682181/Massimo-Scaligero-Sacro-Amore-ENG

Edited March 19, 2010 by tumoessence

[Seth Ananda]

I do not like to ejaculate more that once a month or less. I just feel better. I feel the vibration of my Jing essence or sperm energy supporting my body and making my mind more stable. This vastly improves my meditation as well.

 

I am a fan of all the P.C. and Anal squeeze exercises for perineum strength, but think that Horse stance, jogging, any martial art that has all those low stance movements that build up amazing Leg and butt stamina are superior.

 

For me the best help in learning to not get too excited came when I transitioned over from thrusting orientated Sex, to much stiller Deep penetration sex where the woman will do most of the movements as she is aroused too. I personally find this kind of sex (and so do my partners) much more satisfying, long lasting, heart opening, healing, chi cultivating and enjoyable.

 

I personally think the book Tantric Orgasm for Woman, by Dianne Richardson, Is the most Important book on Sexual Tantra available. And so do all the Female Tantrikis that I know. Every Tantra teacher I know that read this book has put it straight on the top priority reading list for their students, and have said things like "I cant believe I never read that before" or "why isn't there more stuff like that out there?"

 

Anyway Blessings on your Endeavour!

[jago25_98]

Thank you.

 

The book title "Peace between the sheets" really sums it up.

 

Some details.

 

- I first started retaining in a relationship. I had sex but preferred to stop without cumming. I really enjoyed this. Looking back I wonder if it wasn't fair to my woman.

- After splitting with my girlfriend I started retaining. The first hurdle was wanking, especially after being fired up by situations and women. I got over that. I then had to handle it in my dreams, including my ex coming to tempt me. I started engaging the lock in my sleep and I then got past that. I then felt some peace. I found that meditation and MCO starting up lots easier. I also likened a connection to the wind on the boat, which helped the MCO. This lasted about 3 weeks.

- I then had a holiday to Peru to recharge my batteries. Surfing for a while, then trekking in the mountains. In the mountains I noticed a new happiness and strength. With new breathing skills I found a great strength from somewhere.

- This didn't go unnoticed as I was the strongest person there (due only to the retention!) and I felt a sense of attraction from the only female on the trek. We walked together, not wanting or perhaps needing to talk due to the language barrier. This was nice, building attraction without words.

- We kissed, then, one night I knew I was welcome so I went to her tent. I was intending to have sex without ejaculation but I let her lead for a bit and blew it. The sex felt right though. Loving matching the lust. I wasn't overly bothered about my ejaculation... though I knew I lost a lot of energy. I was happy for her to have it. The next few days felt fine but there's a lot of chi around to replenish quickly in that environment.

 

- We then had sex back in city in a hotel. This didn't feel at all the same. Didn't feel as loving. On reflection, shouldn't have done it if it didn't feel right:

I didn't want to cum so I had to explain why. She said `Imagine how I feel`. I explained my beliefs and practices. I explained that to me cumming hard like that is a little death to me. She said she really wanted me to do it. I said I would but that it means a lot to me and that I'd do it for her. So I did. This was fine... as average people sex goes. But this kind of situation cannot be sustained. That night we were pushed away from each other, the flowery battlefield. If I am to maintain a relationship long term I have to find peace here.

 

My first instinct is to practice alone and get yin from the earth like I did before. But I also know that I love bonding with women for more reasons than the energy.

 

At the moment it feels like women are out to suck my energy, then once used, to become disinterested in me. I have to find peace from this.

 

And I know the answer is out there in Tao. My challenge now is to handle my partner correctly. This is more important to me than sex because it is who I am. Even the situation of unsustainability will not allow me to be with someone in the traditional sense so I have to get them on side or I'll have to go it alone until I find someone who will support me... because they know it's possible too perhaps.

 

Then again, perhaps I have to be alone for a while(and turn down suitors), master it myself enough to be a leader with it, and then I can be prepared.

 

-j

Edited March 20, 2010 by jago25_98

[tumoessence]

I do not like to ejaculate more that once a month or less. I just feel better. I feel the vibration of my Jing essence or sperm energy supporting my body and making my mind more stable. This vastly improves my meditation as well.

 

I am a fan of all the P.C. and Anal squeeze exercises for perineum strength, but think that Horse stance, jogging, any martial art that has all those low stance movements that build up amazing Leg and butt stamina are superior.

 

For me the best help in learning to not get too excited came when I transitioned over from thrusting orientated Sex, to much stiller Deep penetration sex where the woman will do most of the movements as she is aroused too. I personally find this kind of sex (and so do my partners) much more satisfying, long lasting, heart opening, healing, chi cultivating and enjoyable.

 

I personally think the book Tantric Orgasm for Woman, by Dianne Richardson, Is the most Important book on Sexual Tantra available. And so do all the Female Tantrikis that I know. Every Tantra teacher I know that read this book has put it straight on the top priority reading list for their students, and have said things like "I cant believe I never read that before" or "why isn't there more stuff like that out there?"

 

Anyway Blessings on your Endeavour!

Great post, I really like Dianna Richardson's books. She has a new one coming out from inner traditions for men. I agree on the deep penetration rather than the thrusting thing.

[Procurator]

As an experiment, over the past 3 months

 

Does anyone else have experience with this and how to handle people in this situation.

 

-j

its probably 2.5years for me, i forgot

 

What's more, the researchers found that a cell that's partway to becoming a sperm cell can revert back to being a germline stem cell--previously thought impossible.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/19/men-produce-1500-sperm-in_n_505829.html

[markern]

Thank you.

 

The book title "Peace between the sheets" really sums it up.

 

Some details.

 

- I first started retaining in a relationship. I had sex but preferred to stop without cumming. I really enjoyed this. Looking back I wonder if it wasn't fair to my woman.

- After splitting with my girlfriend I started retaining. The first hurdle was wanking, especially after being fired up by situations and women. I got over that. I then had to handle it in my dreams, including my ex coming to tempt me. I started engaging the lock in my sleep and I then got past that. I then felt some peace. I found that meditation and MCO starting up lots easier. I also likened a connection to the wind on the boat, which helped the MCO. This lasted about 3 weeks.

- I then had a holiday to Peru to recharge my batteries. Surfing for a while, then trekking in the mountains. In the mountains I noticed a new happiness and strength. With new breathing skills I found a great strength from somewhere.

- This didn't go unnoticed as I was the strongest person there (due only to the retention!) and I felt a sense of attraction from the only female on the trek. We walked together, not wanting or perhaps needing to talk due to the language barrier. This was nice, building attraction without words.

- We kissed, then, one night I knew I was welcome so I went to her tent. I was intending to have sex without ejaculation but I let her lead for a bit and blew it. The sex felt right though. Loving matching the lust. I wasn't overly bothered about my ejaculation... though I knew I lost a lot of energy. I was happy for her to have it. The next few days felt fine but there's a lot of chi around to replenish quickly in that environment.

 

- We then had sex back in city in a hotel. This didn't feel at all the same. Didn't feel as loving. On reflection, shouldn't have done it if it didn't feel right:

I didn't want to cum so I had to explain why. She said `Imagine how I feel`. I explained my beliefs and practices. I explained that to me cumming hard like that is a little death to me. She said she really wanted me to do it. I said I would but that it means a lot to me and that I'd do it for her. So I did. This was fine... as average people sex goes. But this kind of situation cannot be sustained. That night we were pushed away from each other, the flowery battlefield. If I am to maintain a relationship long term I have to find peace here.

 

My first instinct is to practice alone and get yin from the earth like I did before. But I also know that I love bonding with women for more reasons than the energy.

 

At the moment it feels like women are out to suck my energy, then once used, to become disinterested in me. I have to find peace from this.

 

And I know the answer is out there in Tao. My challenge now is to handle my partner correctly. This is more important to me than sex because it is who I am. Even the situation of unsustainability will not allow me to be with someone in the traditional sense so I have to get them on side or I'll have to go it alone until I find someone who will support me... because they know it's possible too perhaps.

 

Then again, perhaps I have to be alone for a while(and turn down suitors), master it myself enough to be a leader with it, and then I can be prepared.

 

-j

 

I think you would realy enjoy the style of lovemaking on the karezz site reuniting.info. THey have a lot of tips for "bondnig based lovemaking styles" and bonding behaviours/techniques. What this does is work with the body in that create more feelings of love hence balancing love and sexual energy (dopamine and xytocin amongst otehr things). Both the man and the woman change from explosiv orgasms (for he man including ejaculation) to the real tantric valey orgasm instead of multiple explosive ones like one can have with the male multiple orgasm techniques. THe net result is more energy and health then with just celibacy, which a lot of the men on the site has tried, and a remarkable change in the relationship were love is kept much stronger and conflict seems to reduce to very low levels. You can read about how they conect this to oxytocin and dopamin (sexual and love energy roughly). THeir scientific theory probably is not perfect but they are certainly getting at something.

[Seth Ananda]

Ahh, Peace Between the Sheets is the perfect partner to Tantric Orgasm for Women.

 

I Love the exchanges...

[Athanor]

What is MCO?

 

The description with the book is quite graphic. However, I don't see the point of full retention; don't you think that keeping your body more fit with training and having sex with ejaculation, not often but more often than with celibacy, would also result in the same state? If not, then what makes the difference?

 

I think this whole "I lost my energy and now the woman doesn't like me" thing happens partially in the head, and if you weren't concerned that the woman doesn't like you so much anymore, then maybe she still would...

[RyanO]

What is MCO?

 

 

 

Microcosmic Orbit

[Mal]

But I also love the company of women. So the goal now is -be with women

 

Be inspired by Liu Ch'ang-sheng who tames his sexual desire by living in a brothel (7 Taoist Masters) pages 115-119

 

(I was certain I had scanned it here before, but no success finding a link)

[Mal]

 

I personally think the book Tantric Orgasm for Woman, by Dianne Richardson, Is the most Important book on Sexual Tantra available. And so do all the Female Tantrikis that I know. Every Tantra teacher I know that read this book has put it straight on the top priority reading list for their students, and have said things like "I cant believe I never read that before" or "why isn't there more stuff like that out there?"

 

 

Thanks Seth, I just grabbed the last copy from http://www.bookdepository.co.uk (I actually wanted 2 as I have someone in mind who might enjoy it) looking forward to reading it.