Tao Bums's emotional vampires

[VCraigP]

 

 

any pattern of behavior we find disagreeable can trigger resistance within us and drain us of energy. so with the way each of these sub-categories are defined, aren't we ALL vampires to one extent or another?

 

i just think it's stupid.

 

my criticism here meets the criteria of #s 2, 3, 4, and 6. wow, i must be a fucking monster!

 

give me a break, dude.

 

you forgot #7 drama queen :-)

 

This thread has drained my emotional energy... I will say no more.

 

 

 

 

Ha ha.

 

Hundun you said what needed to be said -

 

 

 

to the original poster.

Why are emotional vampires preying on you? In this case I think it IS fair to blame the so called victim. You can choose not to be effected by EV behavior, but obviously your post is firm evidence that you feel the need to point out how undeveloped these EV's are here on TTB and all you have really done is say something about yourself.

 

Ciao

 

Craig

Edited April 10, 2010 by VCraigP

[mjjbecker]

The different catagories probably apply to most people at various times. It's part of being human. The 'problem' though isn't the post, the person posting but being attached to a particular world view and following the perfectly natural 'angry chimp' response (hardwired into all of us).

 

Attachment. Let go of the attachment to a post/thread. Goodbye problem. The world/people are what they are. Refusing to accept this (I'm not saying be apathetic or defeatist-just accept things how they are, even while trying to change/improve them) will lead to the various emotional responses. This isn't good or bad, it just is.

 

Any Marcus Aurelius fans? The Meditations are well worth reading if you haven't already. This quote seems very apt here though:

 

Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.

 

His comments about man and our response to our fellow humans are very appropriate also. Copies of his work can be downloaded for free online. I'll just add one more quote here:

Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him, For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.

 

Lofty words but worth aspiring to, for me anyhow.

 

In the meantime, how to cope?

 

Read the 'offending' post, maybe even compose a response to let out the emotional build-up, then repeat the following mantra enough times to release:

 

Ah fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck it

...

 

The power symbol, ! , may also be used if need be. Once the emotional charge has been released, (particularly any urge to verbally smite the offending inferior intellect- i.e. once you've managed to get the fuck over your own sense of self importance) decide if it is worth replying or not. Often it is better just to delete it and move on.

 

More than words though, find that method of practice that allows you to let go and just 'be'. What use are any 'powers'-qi, magic, intellect or otherwise-without the gift of peace of mind anyway?

[de_paradise]

There are some users in here attracted by higher vibrating energy who instead of helping and providing advice are simply negative. They like to drain us with their whinging, complaining, negative views, asking for constant help and advice, going back and forth with their views and practice methods, questioning their validity and even the validity of the teachers who are always willing to help fellow humans for the common good.

 

As you can see there are many types of emotional vampires but basically they fall into the following categories:

 

1. Negative type. Everything looks dark and grim to them.

 

2. Complaining type. Whinge about everyone and everything. Very draining type of people. I used to be one of them! But with lots of hard work, years of internal cultivation, lifestyle changes and determination past emotional issues and blockages were cleared.

 

3. Criticising type. Eveything is flawed to them. No one will ever match their illusory standards, not even the Buddha. Some of the Tao Bum forums users fall into this category.

 

4. Warring type. Any event, even the pettiest ones, will trigger an aggressive reaction in them.

 

5. Weak and defenseless type. They require constant support and reassurance since they seem unable to manage on their own. This type suck a lot of our energy. We also can include in here those who after a confrontation still hold a grudge even though they seem to have forgiven you and eventually get their own back.

 

6. The sarcastic type. Their cruel and mocking comments may seem funny to them but eventually all that morbid humour may drain you a lot. You feel hurt for this constant attacks since they have the ability to hit the "bull's eye."

 

7. Drama queen type. They are constantly talking about catastrophes, disease, death, end of the world and financial crisis. Life to them is only a place riddled with danger. 5 minutes with them is enough to get on your nerves. This type of emotional vampire is very draining.

 

................................................................

 

 

I haven't opened this thread for witch-hunting purposes, but to show to all the emotional vampires which lurk in this forum that they need to move on with their emotional baggage and leave everyone else alone.

 

Personally I see a lot of that in here, and honestly it gets tiring.

 

Good luck if you have identified yourself as belonging to one particular type and is willing to change because the spiritual path requires total healing before embarking in serious work, not clinging to emotions and desire.

 

Its indicative of society, especially ONLINE interactions, not particularly this forum. Go hang out in a typical chatroom and you'll feel your energy getting drained in real time.

 

Another thing I notice about all these characterizations is that they are pretty much universally true at some point or another, classic cold reading Barnum statements.

 

Say, I took your palm, and pointed to a line and said to you "You are sometimes negative and when you are you are apt to complain about things. You hold yourself to high standards and find yourself criticising other people when they do not meet your standards, either in your mind or outloud. You can be sarcastic, but if someone gets under your skin, things might get ugly.

 

"Ah, but this line means but actually you are not as strong as you appear outside internally you are covering a weakness, and you require resassurace. You need love, in fact, sometimes when you are alone in the cafe, you just want to stand up like a drama queen and say "love me!"

 

 

LOVE!

[xyz]

so to sum it up it is anyone who is not emotionaly/spiritualy rooted.

i could understand vampires wanting higher frequency people but shouldnt they be more protected from lower entities? would it not be easier for vamps to go for someone with no root?

[RyanO]

so to sum it up it is anyone who is not emotionaly/spiritualy rooted.

i could understand vampires wanting higher frequency people but shouldnt they be more protected from lower entities? would it not be easier for vamps to go for someone with no root?

 

This makes sense to me.

[RyanO]

Also, while there are certain kinds of negativity on this board, mostly I think there is a level of brilliance here I do not see elsewhere. Most members are at least in touch enough with the Inner Spark such that the issue of psychic vampirism remains moot.

Edited April 10, 2010 by RyanO

[Trogdorf]

The truth of the matter is that most people have some of these qualities and the ones who deny it the most are usually the worst.

 

I read a book on this subject called Emotional Vampires - Dealing with people who drain you dry...

It's not the best read in the world, the author is a bit of a ranter. The info is good enough though.

 

The proper term for an "Emotional Vampire" is called a Personality Disorder and like I said, most of us have these traits.

The worst of them are totally hypnotised by their egos though...

If you have ever met such a person you will know how amazingly hypocritical their actions can be and that they really have no idea how insane they are!

My Dad is one of these people and I can tell you now, if you have never had to deal with one, then you don't know how lucky you are! Or maybe it is the other way around hehe

 

It was said that "they" are more likely to go after people with a lower vibration freq, I believe this is true.

 

*** The main weapon they use is called ""Psychological Projection"", look it up, interesting stuff.

 

It was also mentioned that the more you mimic their energy the more it will affect you and add fuel to the fire, which is also very true.

Therefore awareness is your primary defence, for the most part.

[Gerard]

What are my numbers durkhrod chogori??

 

You know yourself better than anyone else on this planet. Why do you ask me?

 

I am not Tao Bums's Big Brother only someone who happens to post here regularly and has observed a pattern of behaviour by certain users that is not really helping them to help them grow spiritually.

 

 

 

Your post is based on emotions. BTW, which categories do you fit into?

 

ralis

 

Not at all. Re-read the opening thread as I can see that you haven't. I used to belong to one of the categories in the past.

 

 

first off, whether any of you want to admit it or not, it IS a witch-hunt of sorts. it's labeling many different types of behavior as this one 'bad thing,' exaggerating much of its consequence, and encouraging the singling out or the rejection of those who fit the extremely broad definition.

 

???

 

Obviously you also missed or misinterpreted the opening post. I will highlight the relevant part:

 

 

I haven't opened this thread for witch-hunting purposes, but to show to all the emotional vampires which lurk in this forum that they need to move on with their emotional baggage and leave everyone else alone.

 

Personally I see a lot of that in here, and honestly it gets tiring.

 

Good luck if you have identified yourself as belonging to one particular type and is willing to change because the spiritual path requires total healing before embarking in serious work, not clinging to emotions and desire.

 

If you think this is sounds tough in your ego. I wouldn't recommend you going to a Thai Wat to attend a Vipassana retreat because your self-importance and your Western ego will be either slashed by the teacher, the kitchen workers or the temple dogs. Also my Bagua teacher, told us many times his stories with his Beijing-based teacher about how hard was his ego hit during his training that on many occasions tears were pouring from his eyes.

 

Get off your horse and start working on your minds. Period. Real spiritual work starts were it hurts most: beating the ego-feeding mind. Because it happens that our society has brainwashed us since we are children: my little Johnny, you are so cute, he is this and that, she is so gorgeous, she is such a .....person. Then we have mirrors placed everywhere, TV, personalities, school education, etc. All of this garbage only serves to feed the self and our placement in this illusory world. But what happens when you remove all of it, what is left then? You need to find out if that's your life's goal.

 

People living in glass houses that throw rocks with false humility while blindfolded.

 

Well, you still missed the point even though I made it very clear. This thread is not about me, and if you didn't take it personally, why should this thread bother you at all?

 

 

Yes, durkhrod chogori, I don't want to seem like I'm targeting you (I know how this sounds already ) but since you have put it out there I'm going to say it up front: there are a lot of times in which you, yourself, act as an emotional vampire. There are occasions when you come into threads and pretty much say everyone participating in them are wasting their time, they aren't seeking a true goal, or something like that.

 

I believe that falls under the category of not being helpful.

 

I did it for one reason:

 

I also followed the path of trying 10 different methods, swallowing everything that my gullible mind was attracted to in the "spiritual market" and after all that fruitless searching I ended up suffering from spiritual anxiety as I still didn't find a real method that worked. I also missed the single most important rule:

 

Simplicity and effectiveness.

 

So in the beginning I had to weed out all the garbage put out by cunning authors that are only after your hard-earned money. I made a lot of mistakes, hurt myself in the process, and even I had the opportunity to met two of them in real life (one being a former student of John Chang), and the other a renowned author who also was a manipulative individual who used the Tao to make millions by re-writing and rewording classical Chinese material translated by someone close to him. Do you think any of these individuals would care about benefiting the spiritual wellbeing and progress of his fellow humans?

 

On the other hand, it is true I sometimes criticise methods discussed in this forum, but I do so because they are nothing more than a way of promoting an organisation or an individual for financial reasons.

 

Buddhist material is free. Vipassana courses are free. You are only asked to donate for the food you consume and for the accommodation you have been provided ONLY IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT. If you can't, you will still receive top level spiritual instruction in a genuine environment, living amongst renunciates, some of them being Westerners like yourself. Of course even in this "perfect environment" you will find some who are shady. Evil and good go hand in hand, they define both sides of reality: light and dark.

 

Taoist material is also free. Taoist training is free if you have good yuanfen, are capable of speaking Chinese and are willing to travel to the Chinese mountains to learn from a hermit.

 

My other path is IMA, using oral material inherited from a real lineaged traced back to Dong Haichuan. It also hurts me to see fake teachers with little or almost nil skill who are selling watered down stuff to ignorant Westerners, and as you know what they sell is not cheap at all.

 

If you think I am being an emotional vampire for telling the truth, then Jesus would be no better than me for the following:

 

The next day, when they had come out from Bethany, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came to see if perhaps he might find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. Jesus told it, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again!" and his disciples heard it.

They came to Jerusalem, and Jesus entered into the temple, and began to throw out those who sold and those who bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the seats of those who sold the doves. He would not allow anyone to carry a container through the temple. He taught, saying to them, "Isn't it written, 'My house will be called a house of prayer for all the nations?' But you have made it a den of robbers!"

 

The chief priests and the scribes heard it, and sought how they might destroy him. For they feared him, because all the multitude was astonished at his teaching.

When evening came, he went out of the city. (Mark 11:12-19)

 

Just remember that by being on this tiny place of the www and the world consider yourself as someone with good karma. There are billions of humans that are totally unaware of these matters and if they do, they can't, it's not their time for this sort of work. Pray for their wellbeing as well.

 

 

Good luck in your emotional cleansing.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

...and the other a renowned author who also was a manipulative individual who used the Tao to make millions by re-writing and rewording classical Chinese material translated by someone close to him.

 

 

You can make millions doing that?? Wow.

[lifeforce]

Taoist material is also free. Taoist training is free if you have good yuanfen, are capable of speaking Chinese and are willing to travel to the Chinese mountains to learn from a hermit.

 

But the Tao is not just limited to Chinese hermits in the mountains.

We do not have to leave our own countries, or indeed speak other languages to 'learn' Tao.

It is present everywhere, from the crowded cities to the secluded mountains. You just need to know how to 'tune in'.

[Marblehead]

Its indicative of society, especially ONLINE interactions, not particularly this forum. Go hang out in a typical chatroom and you'll feel your energy getting drained in real time.

 

Another thing I notice about all these characterizations is that they are pretty much universally true at some point or another, classic cold reading Barnum statements.

 

Say, I took your palm, and pointed to a line and said to you "You are sometimes negative and when you are you are apt to complain about things. You hold yourself to high standards and find yourself criticising other people when they do not meet your standards, either in your mind or outloud. You can be sarcastic, but if someone gets under your skin, things might get ugly.

 

"Ah, but this line means but actually you are not as strong as you appear outside internally you are covering a weakness, and you require resassurace. You need love, in fact, sometimes when you are alone in the cafe, you just want to stand up like a drama queen and say "love me!"

 

 

LOVE!

 

Hehehe. That was a fun read. Thanks!

 

Peace & Love!

[Marblehead]

But the Tao is not just limited to Chinese hermits in the mountains.

We do not have to leave our own countries, or indeed speak other languages to 'learn' Tao.

It is present everywhere, from the crowded cities to the secluded mountains. You just need to know how to 'tune in'.

 

Very well said. I totally agree.

 

Peace & Love!

[Sahaj Nath]

 

???

 

Obviously you also missed or misinterpreted the opening post. I will highlight the relevant part:

 

 

I haven't opened this thread for witch-hunting purposes, but to show to all the emotional vampires which lurk in this forum that they need to move on with their emotional baggage and leave everyone else alone.

 

yeah, i read your stated intent, but that doesn't alleviate the consequences of such material when it gets embraced and normalized as a set of rules by others. what help is this to flawed individuals like myself? more often than not, if i were to accept it at face-value, it would encourage suppression and disassociation if i believe that "true spiritual people don't feel/act the way i do." for some reason i'm reminded of all the poor, psychologically damaged christian youths who hate themselves for masturbating, and walk around pretending they're beyond it. LOL!

 

 

i mean, if you don't mind my saying (of course, i'm gonna say it anyways), for all of your awareness and intent to help your fellow travelers, you just don't seem able to see the nose on your own face. like with most people's shadow material, it's obvious to the folks around them. for instance:

 

Personally I see a lot of that in here, and honestly it gets tiring.

 

Good luck if you have identified yourself as belonging to one particular type and is willing to change because the spiritual path requires total healing before embarking in serious work, not clinging to emotions and desire.

 

never mind the fact that the second statement is naive and wrong (i know, i'm such a 3 & 6, right? ), but do you honestly not see the the contradiction/hypocrisy between the first and the second sentence? i readily own my character flaws, as do many of us. do you? cuz you're not demonstrating it here. but either way, we are still no less able to be god-sends in the lives of others when the opportunity arises. and it certainly doesn't stop us from spiritual growth, although SO MANY people wish that this were true! the universe doesn't give a shit about my attitude problems; people like YOU do! (okay, i care, too. but my point is that it's not a deal-breaker.)

 

If you think this is sounds tough in your ego. I wouldn't recommend you going to a Thai Wat to attend a Vipassana retreat because your self-importance and your Western ego will be either slashed by the teacher, the kitchen workers or the temple dogs. Also my Bagua teacher, told us many times his stories with his Beijing-based teacher about how hard was his ego hit during his training that on many occasions tears were pouring from his eyes.

 

um... so? what is this supposed to even mean? i've been humbled many-a-time, brought to my knees and to tears, and not just by formal training, either. and your teacher and teacher's teacher? i'm assuming you're implying they are spiritually advanced? so, assuming that's true, i wonder if either or both of them were racist, or homophobic, or sexist. because SO OFTEN they are, and yet they seem to advance just fine. that's all i'm sayin'.

 

Get off your horse and start working on your minds. Period...

 

yeah. that first sentence. i think that's what i'm saying. LOL! dude, i think most of us get it. and for the record, i face my mind daily. my living room is like a zendo and i don't take days off from that work. but whether you like it or not, THIS (and by 'this' i mean 'me') is what that kind of work looks like, too! i don't own a television. i'm not plugged into pop-culture. and none of my attitude flaws define me as a spiritual being. 30 years from now i'll still be an ass from time-to-time, as much as i am a saint. but if that part of me somehow dissolves away, and i magically become pure saint, then great. whatever. but today, i choose to celebrate all of me. "beautiful and grotesque."

 

hope this discussion doesn't drain you too much.

[buscon]

Great subject durkhrod chogori: when one raises his own energy level has to face bad energys that surrounds us - whether avoid or transform them.

 

I use to be a number 1 & 2, and I've been always quite good transforming other people's bad feelings in good ones and forgetting to care about myself... Now I'm balancing and I'm more likely to say NO! to bad energy people that just want to suck me out. On the other side I don't want to erase my empathy, but use it in the right situation and people. I think that's the challenge for everyone, building up an enduring and invulerable compassion

Edited April 10, 2010 by buscon

[三江源]

Kind of like a game of Bingo.

Edited April 10, 2010 by cat

[Gerard]

[buscon]

 

What I am inviting you to think about , if anyone has read this far, is about your position on feeding the needy.

 

Is it an act of love? Always?

 

How do we know when it isnt?

 

as de_paradise said... if someone is standing shouting LOVE ME.. what is our next move?

 

I agree and understand your point of view.

I think that filling the need of love of other people is always a great thing, and it's smt that give you back a lot of good energy!

Unfortunately the people that need love, often don't realize the importance of the exchange, they just wanna TAKE, because they are actually too full (of bad energy) and they don't know how to receive, how to be empty. In this case it's not so easy to help the other, eventually you could just share his/her bad energy - in this case it's better to give up, and don't throw away your preciousness, but cultivate it to a step further.

 

It's always depend on you and the situation, so it's hard to have a general rule. But trust your experience and intuition, you'll not go wrong

Edited April 10, 2010 by buscon

[TianXian]

So; can someone tell me were do i fix in?

[ralis]

You know yourself better than anyone else on this planet. Why do you ask me?

 

I am not Tao Bums's Big Brother only someone who happens to post here regularly and has observed a pattern of behaviour by certain users that is not really helping them to help them grow spiritually.

 

 

 

 

Not at all. Re-read the opening thread as I can see that you haven't. I used to belong to one of the categories in the past.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I guess you are beyond all of the mentioned categories? Just one category?

 

Are you the new TTB judge (inquisitor)? Funny how you categorize certain behaviors according to your world view and if one fits into your neat myopic world view of aberrant behavior, then you judge the offender as not growing spiritually!

 

 

ralis

[Sunya]

ralis is classic #3 and #4.

 

"Everyone's wrong! I'm right! I use exclamation points to appear confident! I'll use laughing smilies to appear even more confident! I pretend that I don't care about anyone on this forum and I'm only here to bestow my lofty opinion, but I keep coming back because disagreements fuel my emotions which I like very much!!!!"

 

Yep.. classic vampire. Anyone got some garlic?

Edited April 10, 2010 by mikaelz

[ralis]

ralis is classic #3 and #4.

 

"Everyone's wrong! I'm right! I use exclamation points to appear confident! I'll use laughing smilies to appear even more confident! I pretend that I don't care about anyone on this forum and I'm only here to bestow my lofty opinion, but I keep coming back because disagreements fuel my emotions which I like very much!!!!"

 

Yep.. classic vampire. Anyone got some garlic?

 

Exclamatory points are for emphasis. I learned that in the first grade. You are the "it's all in the head type". Strictly mental. BTW, your post fits category #8.

 

 

ralis

[Marblehead]

I'm getting some nice chuckles from reading this thread. Hehehe.

 

Peace & Love!

[Sloppy Zhang]

durkhrod chogori, you make a lot of fabulous points and say a lot of fabulous things. I just want to say this though:

 

There can be a difference in what we say we are doing, and what we are actually doing. I would hope that a spiritual practice that allows us to see what is real and what is illusory in the world would allow us to do so with our own behavior, otherwise I would reevaluate that practice.

Edited April 10, 2010 by Sloppy Zhang

[soaring crane]

I'm getting some nice chuckles from reading this thread. Hehehe.

Peace & Love!

 

 

 

More like up-chuckles

 

 

 

[That Guy]

Come on man, if you can recognise vampires well enough to point them out, or even just notice they are present, you must be able to give me my numbers. I just want them so I can know what I have to work on, I want your opinion!