Relationships with older women

[suninmyeyes]

Thanks Apepch!

[三江源]

My wife is 14 years older then me and, on the eve of our 10th wedding anniversary, I can honestly say she has been the best thing that's ever happened for me (my Dad keeps telling me so at least).

 

Good or bad, just like in any relationship, it all comes down to energy harmonics. Can they both inject suitable energy into the relationship that enhances them both? Or is one or both sponging energy and sucking each other dry?

 

For me I needed someone with intellectual maturity, an interest in esoterica and a passion to grow that matched mine (oh and a drop dead gorgeous body certainly didn't hurt ).

 

And it was certainly prevalent in some Celtic communities for older women to teach the younger men how to treat the ladies right in the bedroom

 

Congratulations Stig, to both of you.

 

Lovely to hear of your happiness.

[Apech]

I like to help older women cross the road - does this count as a relationship?

[三江源]

I like to help older women cross the road - does this count as a relationship?

 

Promiscuity ..hmmm, have you thought about just finding one older woman you really like and being her regular road escort? You might find it more rewarding.

[Ya Mu]

This thread really outlines the age diversity the forum has. I am happily married. But if I weren't and were looking for an OLDER woman, I would have to be checking out the nursing homes.

 

I think Stig hit upon the answer when he said "energy harmony".

I know that for me, when I was in my teens, 20's and early 30's what was important was to have "the best looking girl around" (older was OK) as a date or girlfriend. About that time in my life it then became "best energy harmony" around - which can be just as daunting and frustrating when seeking as anything else can be. Best relationship advice I could give would be to give up seeking and start allowing. Age can mean something but really depends on perspective - energy harmony has no age differences. AND, since there is another thread out there that this applies to, don't try to artificially be impressive, don't worry about anything and be yourself - YOU are an awesome and powerful Being of Light! The more that shines through the easier any relationship will be, first in attraction then in harmony - no matter what the age.

[Mal]

don't worry about anything and be yourself - YOU are an awesome and powerful Being of Light! The more that shines through the easier any relationship will be, first in attraction then in harmony - no matter what the age.

 

+1 Hear Hear

[markern]

Shaktimama,

 

I'm curious, do you find that these observations still apply when genders are reversed, that is, that a young woman would be initiated by an older man and that spiritually minded young women are attracted to older men?

 

 

Back to the topic...

 

This thread is especially interesting to me because I have always preferred to be in the company of those older than myself.

 

But I can't help but think, what could a young man like me offer an older woman? So what I wonder is what would an older women be looking for in a younger man? Also, what type of older woman is attracted to younger men? That is to say, if a younger man is interested in older women, what should he be keeping his eye out for?

 

My personal experience with older women is only an age difference 6 or 7 years older than me and only casual stuff and not proper relationships. I actually haven`t seen realtionships were the woman is 10+ years older than the man in my, rather huge, circle of friends and aquaintances. My parents know some such couples. I guess what is considered a large age gap decreases as one gets older. When I was in my twenties, especially early twenties, most girls that were two, three, four years older would initially write me off because I was younger than them and most would say they looked for a man their own age or older and ruled out anyone younger, even just a couple of years. With not too much effort a lot of those women could be swayed to consider me but it took more work and I think that had a serious relationship come into question they would have had way more doubts. Even with just a couple of years in age difference. Women that were 6-7 years older than me or above would be really hard to get anything other than an innocent flirt going with.

 

Those women who actively picked me up or at least were no more difficult to sway than those my own age or younger, almost always had a few things in common. THey were much more confident than average woman, they were much more independent and self sufficient, they had much more initiative, they were more assertive, they were more direct and they were more masculine. Those factors I have mentioned were present in close to all of the older women I encountered. In addition many but far from all of them were more thrill seekers than most girls.

 

I think a common theme was that these women gave me a feel of not seeking as much from me as other women. Many women give me a sense that they want my confidence to make them confident and they seem to need my initiative to lead them in some ways and they seem to require a lot of emotional assurance that stuff is OK and acpeted. THese confident older woman gave me very little sense of seeking these things from me, actually they seemed to provide these things for themselves. Most of the older woman I have had a thing with actively picked me up but that has only been the case for a few of the younger ones.

 

I think because these older woman provided so well a lot of what a younger women seeks from older men, confidence, direction, security etc. they look more for the qualities of younger men like energy, excitement, enthusiasm, optimism, playfulness, higher sex drive, being adventurous and having a hoter body.

 

In the last 5++ years a lot has changed I think. Today almost all girls I know have at lest had sex with a man a few years younger and a very large portion have seriously dated a man 2-6 years or so younger than them. So now all sorts of girls suddenly date younger men and you can`t generalize as much as one could before. But I think a lot of what I said about my experience still holds true for those women who in general prefers young men. Also even those who usually date men their own age or older will probably apreciate the qualites that are particular to the young man when they date him even if that is not what they mainly look for. However, the girls that do not have a genreal preference for younger men probably often require the man to be more confident and leading than those who do have such a general preferance. What the girls I know who only sometimes date younger men tell me they like about them are that they look good and have hot bodies and their energy and that they seem to bring more fun and excitement. When woman aproach 40 my guess is a lot of them will have encountered men with diminished sex drives and lot stamina because of lack of exercise and will really apreaciate the sexual powers of a young man.

[Creation]

Susan and markern,

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights.

 

_/\_

 

 

I know that for me, when I was in my teens, 20's and early 30's what was important was to have "the best looking girl around" (older was OK) as a date or girlfriend. About that time in my life it then became "best energy harmony" around - which can be just as daunting and frustrating when seeking as anything else can be. Best relationship advice I could give would be to give up seeking and start allowing. Age can mean something but really depends on perspective - energy harmony has no age differences. AND, since there is another thread out there that this applies to, don't try to artificially be impressive, don't worry about anything and be yourself - YOU are an awesome and powerful Being of Light! The more that shines through the easier any relationship will be, first in attraction then in harmony - no matter what the age.

Michael,

 

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I even knew that when I posted my question, but I still needed to hear it. I'm especially glad (and not at all surprised) that you are the one who said it.

Edited May 3, 2010 by Creation

[JustARandomPanda]

I am 13 years older than my boyfriend and don't have any regrets over the age difference. Our energy together is great. Now...if I could just get him to the point where there could be dual cultivation it would be a dream come true.

[mantis]

Looks like all is well, then. I just thought an older woman would be like a jing magnet and slowly kill me, but whatever.

 

Asian milf at work, hear hear ; )

[mYTHmAKER]

I like to help older women cross the road - does this count as a relationship?

 

Why do older women cross the road.

To get younger men to help them to the other side.

 

Anyhoo mYTHismAKER is 41/2 years older than mYTHmAKER

[三江源]

Men take longer to mature emotionally than women - is it true?

 

Men lose their vitality before women do - is this true?

 

If these things are true, then men have a much shorter window of Full Monty ( speaking technically) than women.

 

If their window is shorter, why would/could this be so?

[Apech]

Men take longer to mature emotionally than women - is it true?

 

Men lose their vitality before women do - is this true?

 

If these things are true, then men have a much shorter window of Full Monty ( speaking technically) than women.

 

If their window is shorter, why would/could this be so?

 

1) Yes - I think so.

 

2) Not necessarily ... but they do die younger.

 

If the window is shorter ... the curtains are cheaper (?) ... is this a haberdashery question? ... (sorry )

 

Is it something to do with men being more geared to peak and trough type existence???

[C T]

 

 

If the window is shorter ... the curtains are cheaper (?) ... is this a haberdashery question? ... (sorry )

 

 

I couldnt help but burst out :lol: !!

 

Sorry!

 

(My morning's made anyway )

Thanks!

[三江源]

What I find so enticing about men is that they gear their entire existence around the cost of curtains.

 

what's not to love, aint it.

[Gigi]

Is it harmful for young men to engage in them? Anywhere from 5 to 15 years.

 

Hi,

If you like her , what is the problem ???

Or probably I am a guy with a simple mind....

 

Best regards,

 

Gigi,

a simple man

[gendao]

Men take longer to mature emotionally than women - is it true?

 

Men lose their vitality before women do - is this true?

 

If these things are true, then men have a much shorter window of Full Monty ( speaking technically) than women.

 

If their window is shorter, why would/could this be so?

1) False. Just look at the demographics of this spiritually-oriented site. There's a lot more younger men than young women (are there even any of those here?). This also accounts for the recent rise in cougar/boy toy pairings. Young men must often date older women now if they want to find partners of similar maturity. Whereas younger women tend to act like ADD frat boys on crack these days (see Lindsay Lohan & Britney Spears).

 

2) Women's fertility peaks in their early 20s and their window shuts around their 40s. It comes to a full close with menopause in their 50s. Men will also see a steady decline in vitality, but there is no hard line drawn for them like menopause. This is why traditionally, younger women have been more prized than younger men - due to biological realities.

 

That said, looks & sex appeal will trump age when it comes to short term hook-ups...so if he or she looks or "acts" good, age doesn't really matter...

[Aetherous]

Your generalization is based on what section of society?

 

Well, a lot of girls in high school/college today who I know act like that as well.

 

There's a lot more younger men than young women

 

This is true...but then again, most seem primarily interested in sexual things...how to be celibate (denying their own sexuality probably due to frustration), how to have multiple orgasms or increase their "jing", how to shove aneros up there for spiritual growth ...etc.

[Aetherous]

I will go count them now.

[Creation]

Just look at the demographics of this spiritually-oriented site. There's a lot more younger men than young women (are there even any of those here?).

Rainbow Vein, you objected to this claim. Do you know something I don't?

 

I can't think of any young women that have ever been on here except Makyea, who left soon after she came, and perhaps MichelleD, who might have been a troll.

 

 

This is true...but then again, most seem primarily interested in sexual things...how to be celibate (denying their own sexuality probably due to frustration), how to have multiple orgasms or increase their "jing", how to shove aneros up there for spiritual growth ...etc.

You know, having read through a great deal of threads from the whole span of this forum's history, I noticed something. In the first 2-3 years, there was this air of open, honest hedonism. It wasn't like "If I shove an aneros up there I will get closer to enlightenment." It was just taken for granted that everyone wanted to have mind blowing multiple orgasms, and this was a valid thing to discuss on a Taoist forum. It was so honest, so free of judgment. I wasn't there, I'm just observing from the present, but it really seemed like there was this sense of community, of everyone knowing and trusting everyone else. Now that this has been lost, someone show up asking about it and it's like "Ugh, not this again."

Edited May 6, 2010 by Creation

[Aetherous]

It was so honest and pure, so free of judgment.

 

I noticed that as well. Reading older posts, it seemed more like a "community". Friends who were just interested in all sorts of stuff. It was a good vibe.

 

Oh well, "change is good"...or not...nothing lasts forever.

 

Hope I didn't seem too judgmental. I'm working on it!

[Creation]

I noticed that as well. Reading older posts, it seemed more like a "community". Friends who were just interested in all sorts of stuff. It was a good vibe.

 

Oh well, "change is good"...or not...nothing lasts forever.

 

Hope I didn't seem too judgmental. I'm working on it!

I just realized why I was using words like honest and pure and innocent to describe a openly hedonistic atmosphere (which seemed very strange to my conditioned, rational mind).

 

I was the type of child who wasn't really a child, in that I always thought of myself as an adult and tried to act like an adult, as far back as I remember. Recently, I have been understanding what it means to really be a child, and to really grow into adulthood, instead of continuing to be a child pretending to be an adult.

 

On the spiritual path there is the stage where one must grow beyond the desire for sensual pleasure. This is part of spiritual "adulthood". Until then, one is a spiritual "child". So when I look at the hedonistic atmosphere of TTBs in days past, I see children playing, not caring so much what the adults do or say. That is why I think of it as pure and innocent and honest. I was never like that as a child so it has a special resonance with me.

 

Nowadays, we are fortunate to have some spiritual adults around here, who really have moved beyond hedonism, however honest or pure. But far more often posts give me the vibe of a child pretending to be an adult, my own posts chief among them. That is why I think so highly of the way the forum used to be.

 

Wow. I'm really glad I had the opportunity to see that about myself.

Edited May 6, 2010 by Creation

[Birch]

"energy, excitement, enthusiasm, optimism, playfulness, higher sex drive, being adventurous and having a hoter body."

 

THIS!

 

Of course, if more men "my age" were cultivating then maybe everything would be cool

 

At some point, no-one needs anyone leading them around Except to get across the road ;-)

[Aetherous]

So when I look at the hedonistic atmosphere of TTBs in days past, I see children playing, not caring so much what the adults do or say.

 

Same here.

 

But far more often posts give me the vibe of a child pretending to be an adult, my own posts chief among them.

 

Hehehe. Yep, me too. Oh well.

[三江源]

1) False. Just look at the demographics of this spiritually-oriented site. There's a lot more younger men than young women (are there even any of those here?). This also accounts for the recent rise in cougar/boy toy pairings. Young men must often date older women now if they want to find partners of similar maturity. Whereas younger women tend to act like ADD frat boys on crack these days (see Lindsay Lohan & Britney Spears).

 

2) Women's fertility peaks in their early 20s and their window shuts around their 40s. It comes to a full close with menopause in their 50s. Men will also see a steady decline in vitality, but there is no hard line drawn for them like menopause. This is why traditionally, younger women have been more prized than younger men - due to biological realities.

 

That said, looks & sex appeal will trump age when it comes to short term hook-ups...so if he or she looks or "acts" good, age doesn't really matter...

 

Hi Vortex..

 

1) So younger women are going crazy, because they expect themselves to be like airbrushed size zero porn queens and also to be like men.

1a) Being on taobums isnt a certificate of emotional maturity. far from it. Especially not when your focus is gaining powers and getting over premature ejaculation.

2) Traditionally younger women have been prized for their reproductive capacity and fresh out of the box quality. That's about it. Young men dont have to be prized biologically, what with spunk being available from

old dudes. ha ha.

2a) I dont see a reduction in vitality in women post menopausally, necessarily. Certainly not sexually, from what I hear, the freedom from fertility is a terrific aphrodisiac, and the orgasmic capacity just deepens and deepens.

 

Short term hook ups can be dependant upon nothing more than availability and convenience, really. Like a bag of chips.