Relationships with older women

[mantis]

Is it harmful for young men to engage in them? Anywhere from 5 to 15 years.

[That Guy]

hmmm well... check out what these 2 have done and they seem fine with it, don't think your situation could be as harmful

 

 

http://nz.lifestyle.yahoo.com/new-idea/real-life/article/-/7124792/im-in-love-with-my-grandson-were-having-a-baby/

[Enishi]

O.o

 

Is that story for real?!

 

Anyway, as to the original question:

 

18-25 young men = high testosterone and libido

 

31-35+ women = higher testosterone and libido (at least as compared to when they were younger)

 

So yes, it can work out in respect.

[UTI]

Wow, that story's crazy!

 

anyways...

 

My partner's older than me. I was twenty when I met her, and she had just gotten divorced. Before her I had a relationship with a 30-year old. I live with her, her two children from the previous marriage, and our daughter. Works great! I could never imagine being with someone younger than me, for some reason.

[三江源]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

[WhiteTiger]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

 

I should have expected you to write something like that.

[That Guy]

that guy, boy you highlighted a most unusual aberrant may-december relationship. Not only do grandmother-grandson want to have a baby, but she's spending her retirement money on the surrogacy. Such good decisions all around.

Its pretty crazy, but at least the baby wont be from the both of them, avoiding inbreeding. So well, wish them the best in their relationship

[~jK~]

Is it harmful for young men to engage in them? Anywhere from 5 to 15 years.

I prefer younger, but legal, girls but I also teach them the way to get what they want in life. My older G/F's are now university grads with some experience in the professional arena that still come when I call but do not socialize with any of the others... The younger G/F's actually look for an older man when I leave them alone too long - so I don't.

Contrast this with: The natives of N. America and Druids of Scotland/Europe using this as a standard with the older men being more devoted to family and coming with a bit more posessions, including experience as well as knowledge and stability, whereas the younger girls are prime real estate, mentaly and physicaly, for making a family.

 

Overall I see it as the way of nature.

[Trunk]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

 

[Aetherous]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

 

Hehe...I think this is true!

[Oleg Galkin]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

 

Damn, now I'll be afraid to have relationships with older women.

[gendao]

Edited April 30, 2010 by vortex

[Birch]

I'm very tempted to say things (albeit couched in seeming erudition and historical justifications) to explain away my own desires.

 

Yet I feel like saying something, although I might be swayed later into justification on other terms. IME, when the guy hits 35 (more or less), his butt and his gut often end up hitting the floor (close enough) and he doesn't realize what this might do to a woman's desire. Younger guys tend to be in shape. In fact on the whole in much better shape mentally and physically. I like that MUCH better

 

I guess it depends on all kinds of things, not least on where you live. Mr Jk, your reality seems somewhat different from mine (and reading your posts makes me very happy about that;-))

 

This being said, I have often shied from older men because I didn't see myself in the caretaker role in our older years. Plus they often thought they knew best. I have one dad, don't want (or need) another one.

[ShaktiMama]

Is it harmful for young men to engage in them? Anywhere from 5 to 15 years.

 

It is not an unusual practice in traditional Tantra to be initiated and instructed by a wiser woman who would be older.

 

Her energy is much more developed. So in a spiritual tradition there is great benefit in being with an older women. Authentic Tantrikas never lose their own energy or steal it from a male in a relationship. Dual cultivation is fun and nourishing and enlightening.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Quest-Encounter-Absolute-Love/dp/0892816201

 

Speaking from personal experience younger men who have a spiritual focus tend to choose older women for partners in life.

 

s

[trailmaker]

It is not an unusual practice in traditional Tantra to be initiated and instructed by a wiser woman who would be older.

 

Her energy is much more developed. So in a spiritual tradition there is great benefit in being with an older women. Authentic Tantrikas never lose their own energy or steal it from a male in a relationship. Dual cultivation is fun and nourishing and enlightening.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Quest-Encounter-Absolute-Love/dp/0892816201

 

Speaking from personal experience younger men who have a spiritual focus tend to choose older women for partners in life.

 

s

 

 

 

Thankful for a population of younger women with very old souls...

[Creation]

Shaktimama,

 

I'm curious, do you find that these observations still apply when genders are reversed, that is, that a young woman would be initiated by an older man and that spiritually minded young women are attracted to older men?

 

 

Back to the topic...

 

This thread is especially interesting to me because I have always preferred to be in the company of those older than myself.

 

But I can't help but think, what could a young man like me offer an older woman? So what I wonder is what would an older women be looking for in a younger man? Also, what type of older woman is attracted to younger men? That is to say, if a younger man is interested in older women, what should he be keeping his eye out for?

Edited May 1, 2010 by Creation

[Rockstar]

I would think that the big draw back to having a relationship with an older woman is that you might not anymore prefer younger women.

 

 

I would think that child bearing years would play a role, thats where I justify my lust for younger woman , lol

[xyz]

the only drawback is the the bigger the age difference, the more the older person will act as a sponge for your energy. this is even more true for women. after a while you might feel drained

[suninmyeyes]

To answer the original post:

Dangerous -i dont see why would it be just becouse of the age difference.The danger is going in circle all life looking for something in others and not in yourself.

 

I think we get attracted to people based on personal imbalances/balance,needs..

[ShaktiMama]

Shaktimama,

 

I'm curious, do you find that these observations still apply when genders are reversed, that is, that a young woman would be initiated by an older man and that spiritually minded young women are attracted to older men?

 

 

Back to the topic...

 

This thread is especially interesting to me because I have always preferred to be in the company of those older than myself.

 

But I can't help but think, what could a young man like me offer an older woman? So what I wonder is what would an older women be looking for in a younger man? Also, what type of older woman is attracted to younger men? That is to say, if a younger man is interested in older women, what should he be keeping his eye out for?

 

I have seen it happen with both genders.

 

Generally, younger men aren't as set in their ways and are more adventurous. As I said this is just a generalization. There some really old farts who are 30 years of age. And there are men who are older who remain fresh and surprising. An ignorance and stupidity and lack of courtesy knows no age limitations.

 

Speaking from personal experience younger men tend to be way less cynical and pessimistic about life. An older woman is usually very confident and self assured compared to a younger woman. It's an alpha female vibe. Younger men tell me they never have to second guess what I want because I am all about laying out the cards on the table face up. No game playing.

 

The only time i find a disparity because of the age difference is because of cultural references. I think, "I was graduating from high school and you were in diapers." It's more of an issue with others than with me. I don't care if the person I am with doesn't care.

 

Women who have consistent cultivation practice all their lives radiate a great, feminine energy/presence. You can see, feel it. They will look younger than other women their age because of this cultivation and be healthier.

 

I think it depends on what type of woman you want regardless of age. There is an attraction that transcends age. Be open to that. Age is truly just a number. What do men and women want in each other?

 

I can only speak from my own experiences and observations.

 

s

[ShaktiMama]

To answer the original post:

Dangerous -i dont see why would it be just becouse of the age difference.The danger is going in circle all life looking for something in others and not in yourself.

 

I think we get attracted to people based on personal imbalances/balance,needs..

 

My thoughts exactly. One attracts another based on the quality of their Inner Masculine or their Inner Feminine. If a person attracts the same kind of person over and over again, there is just a new name attached to the type, then this means there is some type of subconscious archetype in play.

 

We project our needs and illusions of the perfect mate on each other. It's only when our inner archetypes of Masculine and Feminine are fully developed, mature adults that is when we are more successful in our relationships.

 

I have an excellent book on these archetypes but now I can't find it and it is out of print. There are different archetypes that we unconsciously act out all the time if we are unbalanced in our subconscious. These are roles like judge, critic, martyr, victim, but they get more specialized when we talk about the masculine and feminine. It would be instructional to get a book of good mythology on different gods and goddesses because those are representations of parts of the archetypes that we manifest in our relationships.

 

There are also archetypal characters from fiction that we see, like Peter Pan. If a woman's inner masculine has developed into a Peter Pan then the men she will attract will mirror that Peter Pan archetype in her life. The only way she can break that cycle is to embrace a healthy, grown up male archetype so then that is what she will attract into her life. Usually therapy helps with this, especially something this is called Transpersonal Psychology that works with Parts therapy.

 

S

 

PS

 

I received advanced training in Alchemical Hypnotherapy with David Quigley. I learned Parts Therapy from him.

 

He wrote a great intro article about finding love and how we project our ideal mate on each other.

 

http://www.alchemyinstitute.com/loving.htm

Edited May 2, 2010 by ShaktiMama

[Stigweard]

My wife is 14 years older then me and, on the eve of our 10th wedding anniversary, I can honestly say she has been the best thing that's ever happened for me (my Dad keeps telling me so at least).

 

Good or bad, just like in any relationship, it all comes down to energy harmonics. Can they both inject suitable energy into the relationship that enhances them both? Or is one or both sponging energy and sucking each other dry?

 

For me I needed someone with intellectual maturity, an interest in esoterica and a passion to grow that matched mine (oh and a drop dead gorgeous body certainly didn't hurt ).

 

And it was certainly prevalent in some Celtic communities for older women to teach the younger men how to treat the ladies right in the bedroom

[suninmyeyes]

My thoughts exactly. One attracts another based on the quality of their Inner Masculine or their Inner Feminine. If a person attracts the same kind of person over and over again, there is just a new name attached to the type, then this means there is some type of subconscious archetype in play.

 

We project our needs and illusions of the perfect mate on each other. It's only when our inner archetypes of Masculine and Feminine are fully developed, mature adults that is when we are more successful in our relationships.

 

I have an excellent book on these archetypes but now I can't find it and it is out of print. There are different archetypes that we unconsciously act out all the time if we are unbalanced in our subconscious. These are roles like judge, critic, martyr, victim, but they get more specialized when we talk about the masculine and feminine. It would be instructional to get a book of good mythology on different gods and goddesses because those are representations of parts of the archetypes that we manifest in our relationships.

 

 

Yes im coming to these conclusions also and it seems that there is so much conditioning caused by various reasons.Personally,I am working on reprogramming my reactions and bringing subconscious into conscious full time.

Repatterning the mind and starting to understand that im allowed to feel fresh and not a slave to moods and circumstances and have the ability to choose to feel so.

And this does affect any sort of relationship in a good way.

[suninmyeyes]

By the way anyone who cares to answer how do i quote in my replys,i havent worked it out?so that i can have the framed bit and multiquote?ive tried pressing muliquote button but unsucesfully due to me being lowtech .Cheers

[Apech]

By the way anyone who cares to answer how do i quote in my replys,i havent worked it out?so that i can have the framed bit and multiquote?ive tried pressing muliquote button but unsucesfully due to me being lowtech .Cheers

 

Highlight the text and click the icon (third from left) that looks like a speech bubble.

 

Like this

 

or put

 

{quote} and {/quote} ... only using square brackets like [ and this ] before and after the section of text you want to put in a quote box.

 

If you want to quote some else's post then use the 'reply' button and not the 'add reply' button and it should happen

Edited May 2, 2010 by apepch7