having integrity and still getting laid

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

that attitude is a result not a cause. fucking piss me off huh?

Stoner, you sound pretty jaded and bitter these days. Don't make any hard decisions right now, and I promise you, as you cultivate, (and leave the "stoner" stuff behind), you will see the world a different way and things with women will change. I was young like you once, and was sometimes bitter, and man, that resentment makes the ladies run far, far away, really fast. Stoner stuff too, as you get older...

 

Here's my reply to non a few months ago on the same topic:

 

the Tao bums: disturbing conclusions about women

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

i have been jaded and bitter since i was 12 years old and realized that if you dont have money, you dont have ANYTHING.

 

That "human" people, now citizens, civilians, nationalists, but not human, value money over compassion, profit over love, gaining over giving.

 

 

He who has the most toys wins.

 

 

Well... kill him. he deoes not dese4rve to live. no one who "has the most toys" deserves to live unless they share those "toys" with the WORLD EVELNY.

 

 

YEAH im jaded. THE WORLD IS A SHITHOLE AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO BUT "ACCEPT" THAT?!? FUCK YO)U ALL!

 

 

FUCK TAO, FUCK BUDDHA, FUCK ALL, it's NOT worth just idly sitting by and doing nothing about it but "accept" it. My path is obstructed with impossible obstacles and without help, i cannot move forward, and without Love and compassion i cannot receive ANY of the help i NEED.

 

 

If i had something to fill the holes, i wouldnt feel this way or act this way, but there is NOTHING worth living for in my path.

 

 

My entire existence is a waste of effort. no one cares about my experiences, therefore i dont want to care about my experiences.

No one cares about me, therefore i dont want to care about me.

 

If i am not alive for hte benefit of the whole,m i would simply rather not be alive.

 

 

No one cares.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Well, lots of people have been where you are and have gone on to good lives. Your acid bitterness is eating you up, brother...I hope you're not on any substances right now. It's obvious you're in need of help and some understanding friends, which you ave right here. That's a start. You seem smart. You won't always be without money if you get your shit together.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

 

 

WE DONT NEED MONEY, YET WE ENFORCE A FICTIONAL NEED THEREOF!

 

 

Smoking pot helps me calm down and act rationally.

 

 

I want only to pierce teh throats of all human beings with my fingers and tear out their ignorant, lying, deceptive throat chakras when i am sober.

 

Meditation and clearing the mind only put it off till a later time. it is everpresent, unrelenting, inescapable.

 

 

The tao wants me to kill and die trying, or i am completely fucking FUCKED in the head and need HELP that i CANT ACQUIRE ALONE, let alone receive online.

Edited June 26, 2010 by Stoner Shadow Wolf

[MuttHero]

I have felt EXACTLY the same way stoner.....

It actually led to me sticking up strangers with a gun a few years ago

the pain and lonliness is SEEMS unbearable

and if you try to share you feeling with the world they just make it worst by laughing at you and alienating you further

There is away up bro... seriously i KNOW by experience im gettin out of my $hit but it is HARD AS HELL!!

 

 

 

Im learning that.our approach to getting thoses needs met needs to be shifted

because NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR NEEDS as much as YOU DO, SO IT IS YOURE RESPONSABILITY TO GET THEM MET as a MAN

 

the first step is BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF and realizing that you are the only one that is truly 100% in your corner

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Blessings...things will get better...

Edited June 26, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[gendao]

Here's my reply to non a few months ago on the same topic:

 

the Tao bums: disturbing conclusions about women

Yea, this is a recurring topic these days. That's because there really is a whole abandoned generation of lost, lonely, angry boys out there. It's a very real phenomenon that is increasingly on the rise.

 

They've been demonized, neglected, disenfranchised and marginalized by decades of feminism & grrl power in this country that left them with nothing now. They have no advocates and literally, nobody cares about them. Even in this thread - there is no compassion for their pain. Just a bunch of elitist denialism and trite, cliched rhetoric.

 

Whereas somehow, I think if a GIRL was whining here about being lonely - she wouldn't elicit the same victim-blaming, dismissive responses!

 

Frustration comes from the feeling of powerlessness. Anger comes from the feeling of being mistreated while powerless. And this is all happening to young men today. They have been methodically emasculated and disempowered as a whole.

 

In this light, allow me to clarify my previous posts - which represent an attempt to reclaim our masculinity on a primal level (since it may not be possible on a societal level yet).

 

Integrity

 

Integrity has nothing to do with "making love." It has everything to do with BEING HONEST. You keep your word and you don't lie. You don't just tell her whatever you think she wants to hear, if you don't mean it. You break up with her if you meet a better match, instead of cheating on her. You don't flatter her with false compliments or tell her you "love" her when you don't even know what that means. All things men routinely do with women purely out of self-interest to GET LAID. Women also do the same thing when they have sex or fake orgasms when they don't really feel like it - just to maintain the stability of their relationship. Again, all out of selfishness for their own better interests in life.

 

Problem is, all these white lies are like white sugar. They might "sweeten" things up on the surface, but in reality all have a harmful effect. Yet, that is how most people conduct their relationships - with very low integrity in favor of self-interest. Which is also why they fail so often...because they are living "game theory" lies.

 

So no, integrity probably won't help you get laid. Although it will help strengthen you and your relationships with more structural "integrity."

 

Animal Nature

 

We are all animals.

So, fvck her like she's an animal.

Fvck like you're an animal.

And by "animal" - I mean naturally & primally.

Without reservation, judgment,

Unwritten contracts, expectations,

Or social artifice.

The ancient Chinese often observed and mimicked animals

Because their behavior was so natural

They formed many martial arts & qigong styles

Like 5 animal frolics, wild goose qigong, Taijiquan, etc.

While in this culture, animals are seen only as toys or food sources

So imitating them is seen as degrading & demeaning

Yet PETA loudly advocates for animal rights?

And people have no problem fvcking "doggy style?"

 

The bedroom may be the last place we can still embrace (not deny) our animal natures.

So why not cherish & relish in that fact?!

Edited June 27, 2010 by vortex

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

Thank you for your post vortex. i need for people to wake up and recognize the "all or nothing sensationalist 10 year fad" trend which is not only ruining our future, but our childrens' futures, as well as having cumulatively lead up to THIS generation of neglected men who are increasingly resorting to sex changes that dont solve the inherent problem at hand but treat the symptoms.

 

 

 

EXCEPT your last bit says i should jsut go rape the girl i love. yeah, right.

Edited June 27, 2010 by Stoner Shadow Wolf

[gendao]

EXCEPT your last bit says i should jsut go rape the girl i love. yeah, right.

Uh, no my last bit does NOT say that! Sheesh people!

 

Just to clarify my clarification, this is advice for reasonably sane AFCs who may just be too naive, idealistic, sappy, emasculated, docile, spineless, wimpy, lovesick puppy, etc. I'm really just advocating a slight attitude shift (normalization) towards a healthier "red-blooded" manhood - all of course, within the confines of mutually-consensual sex here.

 

NOT RAPE!

 

 

You are correct though, we are creating huge burdens for our succeeding generations - and that is what I am trying to rectify here. The unborn need advocates too.

Edited June 27, 2010 by vortex

[Tao99]

Edited July 9, 2010 by Tao99

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

Okay, yes, i was embellishign what you said about "The bedroom may be the last place we can still embrace (not deny) our animal natures.

So why not cherish & relish in that fact?! "

 

Over-embellishing the animal instinct aspect, and downplaying/ignoring the "civil" cultivation aspect.

 

 

But in the grand scheme of things, birth is no better and no worse than rape in this world, as it forces us to be alive weather we are willing or not.

 

 

The unborn are the most disrespected "minority" on earth.

A "minority" because they dont exist yet, so no one thinks they have to mind their future.

 

 

I'd "man up" if i had a decent example.

 

 

Reading into manhood is like reading a romance novel: you arent experiencing what you're looking at.

[MuttHero]

Okay, yes, i was embellishign what you said about "The bedroom may be the last place we can still embrace (not deny) our animal natures.

So why not cherish & relish in that fact?! "

 

Over-embellishing the animal instinct aspect, and downplaying/ignoring the "civil" cultivation aspect.

 

 

But in the grand scheme of things, birth is no better and no worse than rape in this world, as it forces us to be alive weather we are willing or not.

 

 

The unborn are the most disrespected "minority" on earth.

A "minority" because they dont exist yet, so no one thinks they have to mind their future.

 

 

I'd "man up" if i had a decent example.

 

 

Reading into manhood is like reading a romance novel: you arent experiencing what you're looking at.

[MuttHero]

"Maning up"

 

 

THis frustration and pain is part of the maning up process...you have to keep going and get deeper into and through it

because manhood is like that, no one will fight for you or force you, life WILL kick your a$$ and if you dont choose to conciously fight back and grow and be determined to have good thing s for yourself then... YOU WILL PERISH OR GO CRAZY OR BECOME SOMEONE's BIOTCH but all of us men are going thru or have gone through it, but your pain is not without gain, the more you work thru and with your pain and angst the more return you get...work in work out

 

You must be willing to change and give up things you used to value in order to gain something that is more valuable

[Stigweard]

Not catching any fish? Be patient and cultivate your virtue so that you can attract better fish

[WallaMike]

Amen to Stigweard's advice. Part of this also actually relates to Qigong, since most all people react positively to "big chi". We just call it charisma in the West. But whatever the name, it works.

WallaMike

[Birdoftruth]

I am all in favor of going out and sleeping with a girl before getting into a relationship. what I've come to learn is that often times a guy is screwed from the beginning due to the dynamic that was created going into the relationship e.g. Girl likes guy-and thus holds back sex until she is ready. This is passive-aggressive manipulation on the female's behalf to get what she wants and successively causes her to have power even after sex and further in the relationship because it makes her seem like she is the purveyor of sex and it is when she desires it and if the guy does the right things she will reward him with sex. This is garbage and I see this in a lot of relationships.

 

The fact is, is that people are the most genuine after sex. No walls are up, no suppressed information, no one has on any masks because they don't have to act in a certain way. I have learned from numerous mistakes that it is best to not open up to a girl until she's had sex with you. I was dating a girl for 3 months from an internship of mine and she always gave me resistance when I went to kiss her or make-out with her. Until one night when were in my bed and I had "open up" and tell her "past things about me" just to get her to make out. I felt horrible with this kind of dynamic of reward system when in fact women are naturally submissive.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

"Maning up"

 

 

THis frustration and pain is part of the maning up process...you have to keep going and get deeper into and through it

because manhood is like that, no one will fight for you or force you, life WILL kick your a$$ and if you dont choose to conciously fight back and grow and be determined to have good thing s for yourself then... YOU WILL PERISH OR GO CRAZY OR BECOME SOMEONE's BIOTCH but all of us men are going thru or have gone through it, but your pain is not without gain, the more you work thru and with your pain and angst the more return you get...work in work out

 

You must be willing to change and give up things you used to value in order to gain something that is more valuable

 

 

 

OKAY....

 

 

So...

 

 

 

I'm crazy. what now?

[MuttHero]

OKAY....

 

 

So...

 

 

 

'm crazy. what now?

 

 

In my Crazy situation i realized my self defeating behaviour was ultimately fueled by wrong beliefs about the world, these beleif however was only 1/2 of the puzzle, the other 1/2 was EMOTIONS, a lot of unfruitful behaviour was fueled by feelings of FEAR, ANGER and SADNESS

 

 

This book called 'THe PResence Process' Really helped me and continues to, it talks about how the patterns of addiction or 'malfunction' we have in our lives are relfections that point to areas in our emotional body where we need to become more present responsible. These feeling were formed while we were children , the our ego came along and created belife systems to rationalize and hide these feeling because they were painful, once you practice being with with the ACTUAL PAIN OR FEELING OF FEAR then you can see your false belifes and change your actions...

 

 

Observe your self and explore yourself

Take responsability for your own well being regardless of what the world does

[Creation]

The last posts from the cat and the guy who said you attract what you are not what you desire had very big impact on me.

 

They re affirmed some truths i have been struggling with.

 

My first emotional reaction was anger and then it was deep pain

anger and pain that i have felt before A LOT! That heartache that reaches out because there

is that human whole in us, some deeper than others

 

My mind went on telling stories if what was wrong with the world, and sucidal type thoughts

and all that general low- self esteem crap (if you ever been thru that)

 

The i realized that regardless of the paioon and the arguments in my ego , that ultimatley

part of me was just simply asking "Who cares about me?, Nodbody does.."

 

But then i started realizing that someone does! I DO!! thats why im going thru all this crap trying to fix my s**t

and thats why i spent hours brooding over the world and myself is because I CARE ABOUT ME!!!

 

 

Its just that i haven't learned to uses what what i have in a MATURE WAY

I have layers of trapped emotion and FALSE BELEFIS about the world that are just OBSOLETE

 

I think women reject me because I HAD A FALSE BELEIF that my caring and nuturing came from others, instead of my SELF

 

in a way the workld is right, nobody really CARES about you as much as YOU should care about you, and you do care about you, even if your methods are OUT DATED for your current stage of DEVELOPMENT

 

This message goes out to StonerWolf, Dont let this world beat you down, YOU are your own best friend and it is ROUGH out here, dont be fooled too much my 'SPIRITUALITY' into thinking its all fluffy clouds and hugs....

What a refreshing and inspiring post. A true breath of fresh air. Thanks for posting this.

 

Thanks also to cat and Darin for provoking it.

[markern]

I am all in favor of going out and sleeping with a girl before getting into a relationship. what I've come to learn is that often times a guy is screwed from the beginning due to the dynamic that was created going into the relationship e.g. Girl likes guy-and thus holds back sex until she is ready. This is passive-aggressive manipulation on the female's behalf to get what she wants and successively causes her to have power even after sex and further in the relationship because it makes her seem like she is the purveyor of sex and it is when she desires it and if the guy does the right things she will reward him with sex. This is garbage and I see this in a lot of relationships.

 

The fact is, is that people are the most genuine after sex. No walls are up, no suppressed information, no one has on any masks because they don't have to act in a certain way. I have learned from numerous mistakes that it is best to not open up to a girl until she's had sex with you. I was dating a girl for 3 months from an internship of mine and she always gave me resistance when I went to kiss her or make-out with her. Until one night when were in my bed and I had "open up" and tell her "past things about me" just to get her to make out. I felt horrible with this kind of dynamic of reward system when in fact women are naturally submissive.

 

Much truth in this!

 

Charismaarts.com can teach you to get women while maintaining your integrity!

[markern]

Hi markern, that site doesn't seem too be too bad as a way to better one's PUA skills. I found a moderately interesting story from a happy customer:

 

 

If we take this story and the subject's claims as true, one can see it take it takes many steps to attract high quality women. This guy had to clean up his life before he could attract women. I suspect this "cleanup" will only happen to a man when he's damn well ready.

 

Good luck guys.

 

I remember that guy! I have followed the forum on and of for years so I know what sort of progression a guy gets if he puts in the work. That type of success is amongst the fastest but not at all uncommon. There was another guy that had never had a friend that went to having a large social circle and getting plenty of girls in a few months. I think that just happens when a guy is VERY ripe and gets exactly the right help. Aron Sleazy (nothing to do with Charimsaarts) went from quite hopeless to legend in the community within a year. But had an unusually good start. Few social fears, loved dancing, comfortable with his sexuality, able to still the mind completely at any given moment (learnt by doing Zen) and an education from London School of Economics (which is one of the worlds best universities). So with such a foundation it is easy building new skills. More normal is to struggle a bit and then see a big improvement. Most seem to make quite large gains in a workshop. Generally I think if you go out two times week to clubs/bars and approach some girls in the streets during the day and generally focus on improving in skills and self esteem and getting your life in order 6 months to a year should transform your life. If you are a nice guy with OK social skills that just does not get how to flirt and not be needy around girls then there could easily be just a couple of moths until he is quite successful. If you are borderline asperger I think 2-3 years of HARD work could do it. I strongly suspect that several of the most successful guys started out somewhere close to that. You can trace peoples post back to the beginning and see their progress and some really started out with ZERO social skills. Anyway, having a good cultivation practice will help A LOT (think inner game, charisma, focus, doing something meaningful with your life etc.)

Edited July 3, 2010 by markern

[markern]

Your comment reminds me of cognitive psychologist Albert Ellis. If I remember correctly, he was scared of lousy with women as a young man. As the founder of REBT - Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy - he put himself to task. He sat in Central Park, NYC and asked every woman who walked by for a date. I don't remember the exact number, maybe 100, but finally one woman said yes. He didn't end up marrying her (this was many decades ago), but it probably made him feel good.

 

An interesting title by A.Ellis:

Dating, Mating, and Relating: How to Build a Healthy Relationship

 

THere was a guy o the charimsaarts forum (I think the forum is temporarily down) that one day got frustrated and approached 20 women in a few hours. He didn`t get any dates I think but got over his worst fears and from there on focused on picking up girls on the dance floor and became very successful at it. I think that only took him a few months.

[Taiji Bum]

I started to study PUA stuff a couple years back but didnt do it to get laid. I didnt even believe in sex before marriage back then. I just wanted a girlfriend and after 20 years of total focus on mysticism I didnt have a clue how to get one. I started out with David Deangelo's 77 Law of Dating and it really turned my life around. I have studied a ton of material since then and its all about the basic principles. Get a great circle of friends, live your life according to a higher purpose, constantly improve yourself as a man and you will naturally attract great women.

 

His latest program is called, "Become Mr Right" and my favorite quote from it is, "When you become the greatest version of you that you can. When you become your full potiential, and when you get into the flow of becoming your fullest potential which you can start right now, you become a beacon for the most amazing woman for you".

http://btjunkie.org/search?q=david+deangelo

 

Here are the things that I did that changed my life the most.

1- Joined the Freemasons to get friends.

2- Started Judo to get a hobby which is now powerlifting and mountain biking.

 

Basically, I turned the computer off and got a life outside of my comfort zone and one that was actually attractive and seemed fun to women. I just broke up with my girlfriend last December and I am dating a new one now. From January to June I dated 11 women. I am not a player but the more "full" my life becomes with interesting activities the more women seen to find me interesting.

 

Here is a truth that has really helped me stay positive. "There are far more beautiful women out there than there are guys with their lives together. There are far more perfect 10 women than perfect 10 men. (Being a perfect 10 has NOTHING to do with looks or money if your a man too)."

[Birdoftruth]

It's great to see fellow PUAs here...especially Juggler Method users. I get the feeling Juggler is a very spiritual guy. In his talks he teaches that it is better to be ok with your aloness than to have many girlfriends. He also teaches people to not force anything (think tao) and go with whatever logistics are thrown at you and accept them for what they are. As oppose to people who say it does not matter you can make it happen.

 

Taiji bum I think Lifestyle changes are great and I am happy to see them work out great for you. Something funny is I also joined Judo after wanting to change my life with pickup. Have you found having (a) girlfriend(s) helped you on your spiritual path? I am playing with the idea of getting a girlfriend could be quite beneficial to me as sex would get off my mind and would definitely satisfy my body in a tantric way as to allow me to go on in life without having to seek out sex and could help in self-actualization.

 

Of course without getting attached to her

Edited July 3, 2010 by Birdoftruth

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

I've never learned to cope with the level of aloneness i typically face. i can be among friends in a crowd at the mall and still feel neglected and alone. everyone is too busy with the hype and sensation of shiny things in vegas to express any love or copmassion toward their own companions.

 

 

It's all about point and look and "ooh" and "aah". fancy schmancy shiny shit.

 

 

Window shopping is more important than comforting a (so called) friend. What kind of "friend" is

THAT?!

 

 

 

Bit i digress, there's a girl i've got my eye on who appears to be completely exceptional to my experiences with women, which is ironically more intimidating than comforting!

 

But she seems to have a lot in common with me, but i dont know her yet. i need a chance to sit andchat with her about Life and Philosophy... that's not something they advertise ice breakers for gum wont break the ice for this discussion!

 

 

 

My mistake. just another stupuid 19 year old girl like all the rest.

Edited July 3, 2010 by Stoner Shadow Wolf