Non-ejaculatory Orgasms

[Birch]

"people think the USA is a real democracy"

 

- who does????? What people?

 

My call;-) Go check out what "democracy" is/does. Personally I have no idea what it does. I haven't voted for 20 years and it hasn't made a difference to my life. What HAS made a difference is, well, all the kinds of things we often discuss here on TTB's.

 

I feel the need to be over and out on this thread.

[Non]

Well, open dialogue is a start.. That's where every movement starts.

 

That's why I broach a lot of these taboo topics myself. Of course I know they are often socially-acceptable and I risk ostracization for it - but I somehow feel like it's my job to point out when the emperor has no clothes on. Because if I don't, who will?

 

Someone said that happiness (or fulfillment) is giving the world one day what you always wanted it to give you (but never got).

 

I'm in my 30s now. This misandrist wave hit me before it hit you. But there was practically NO awareness of it back then, and we didn't even have the internet, either! I was totally blindsided by something that I had absolutely no one to go to for counsel. Not even onlinne! Oh, how I wish some men had stood up for us back then to at least provide some resistance. Which is why I stand up for younger guys now. They're easy to dismiss because they're underdogs today. And people selfishly feel they have nothing to gain from helping an underdog. And in fact, are even programmed to kick omega males when they're down.

 

But their pain is real and should not be dismissed. On this forum alone, we get another borderline suicidal, lonely & despondent kid rejected by women every few months now. That is predictable based upon the actual scene out there today. Yet they get told the same outdated rhetoric & female mythology, which never works out in the real world, and then get only more depressed and angry...

 

There's no easy solutions here. Life is a challenge. Life is suffering. So what else is new? Why do you think Buddha founded Buddhism centuries ago? I think ultimately you do have to cease all external validation while attaining enlightenment to escape your suffering here - regardless of the cause.

 

Because let's say you were wildly successful with women - like Tiger Woods. You really think you'd be happy then? No, you might feel content, lucky, fortunate or pleasurably good. And perhaps also guilt-ridden. But not blissfully happy. Happiness really is a much deeper state that really isn't dependent on anything worldly or external. I came to that conclusion at age 9 and frankly that's probably what drove me to my spiritual quest since then. If I couldn't find real happiness in a life when everything was going my way for a while - then where could I find it?

yea I could be an activist but I just dont have the time for that u know... I would also be disowned, I'm in college and stuff.. and btw I do not really find anyone in my path who agrees with me.

Edited June 28, 2010 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

yea I could be an activist but I just dont have the time for that u know... I would also be disowned, I'm in college and stuff.. and btw I do not really find anyone in my path who agrees with me.

 

You can't find anyone in COLLEGE?

 

What college are you at?

 

There are lots of groups that have memberships in most major colleges across the nation. Even if you're in a medium to small sized college, there's an excellent chance that there's a couple groups that are politically minded.

 

A LOT of people use college as a springboard to get into new subjects and join new groups.

 

Yes, even people with conservative parents. They just do it sneaky like.

[gendao]

Ok, so what about physical needs? You cannot develop yourself internally without taking care of the external. And yes, sexuality, is biologically ingrained(wow). Yes, lack of human-human interaction does kill a person and make him/her go crazy. yes there has been scientific research on the effects of male and female sexual deprivation and human isolation... how debilitating it can be, to a point where one can become dysfunctional to even begin to start making improvements for him/herself by him/herself, of course... noting that even people that are 'worse' are not as lonely as you are, but just by virtue of being sexually deprived have men evolved to biologically class himself as unfit for survival, thereby biologically rendering himself useless, worthless, for anything no matter what he/she has done his entire life, making sure he dies quick.. because that's brutal evolutionary "sexual selection."

Well, I think it's good to have a few notches on your belt, just for experience's sake.

 

But, once you've gotten some, you could also use celibacy as an opportunity to cultivate. Like me or drewhempel, lol. Seriously, I've actually turned down sex this year to conserve jing for my current training. Sexual neediness comes from depleted jing. While the more jing you have, ironically the less sexually needy you become. And the eventual benefits of celibate cultivation are theoretically even better than either sex or celibacy alone.

 

BTW, a lot of us also have sex for emotional ego gratification (validation). But, that sexual validation is actually worthless. When I went through a period where a lot of girls liked me - it was all due to entirely superficial reasons. I was alpha, popular, athletic, smart & cute at the time. I was a golden kid with personal power. Nevermind that I was also very shy, quiet and poor. Yet all these girls that I didn't even talk to had crushes on me, and I didn't understand why? Was there just something special about ME???

 

Nope, cuz once all those superficial attributes faded out in another phase - so did their attraction. Like water evaporating in the desert. None of them ever liked me for ME. Or disliked me for ME. Which in Buddhism, doesn't really exist anyways!

 

So, girls liking or rejecting you does nothing but validate your superficial qualities. It does nothing to validate YOU...which doesn't even exist! YOU and your suffering - are all a duality-based illusion. Which you won't really escape until you achieve mukti or enlightenment (not getting laid more).

Edited June 28, 2010 by vortex

[Non]

Well, I think it's good to have a few notches on your belt, just for experience's sake.

 

But, once you've gotten some, you could also use celibacy as an opportunity to cultivate. Like me or drewhempel, lol. Seriously, I've actually turned down sex this year to conserve jing for my current training. Sexual neediness comes from depleted jing. While the more jing you have, ironically the less sexually needy you become. And the eventual benefits of celibate cultivation are theoretically even better than either sex or celibacy alone.

 

BTW, a lot of us also have sex for emotional ego gratification (validation). But, that sexual validation is actually worthless. When I went through a period where a lot of girls liked me - it was all due to entirely superficial reasons. I was alpha, popular, athletic, smart & cute at the time. I was a golden kid with personal power. Nevermind that I was also very shy, quiet and poor. Yet all these girls that I didn't even talk to had crushes on me, and I didn't understand why? Was there just something special about ME???

 

Nope, cuz once all those superficial attributes faded out in another phase - so did their attraction. Like water evaporating in the desert. None of them ever liked me for ME. Or disliked me for ME. Which in Buddhism, doesn't really exist anyways!

 

So, girls liking or rejecting you does nothing but validate your superficial qualities. It does nothing to validate YOU...which doesn't even exist! YOU and your suffering - are all a duality-based illusion. Which you won't really escape until you achieve mukti or enlightenment (not getting laid more).

 

Not necessarily. I think it's purely biological to feel this way unless you are in a temple living as a monk, and/or know the exact way to sublimate the sexual energies. In the USA the methods are really garbled too because there are many methods, and many interpretations. Even then... to put up with being a virgin at 24, never having even experienced the domestic life, all of a sudden being forced to live like a celibate monk, with NO external support, even being isolated.. (and yes even monkes need human-human interaction at times, even male-female interaction) and in a society that throws all this stuff at you.. is tough. Many monks.. grow up in a culture where celibacy is actually supported, they either start at the very young age, or after they have experienced the domestic life. Otherwise you would be opressed...

Edited June 28, 2010 by Non

[Non]

I do not believe there is any woman who is different. They all love evil, and hate everything good.

 

This is enough to make me want to kill myself, TRULY. I may just do it. KNowing that Good has no purpose. Good cannot exist. Everyone truly despises good yet they don't know it. Everyone love evil yet they don't know it. It IS enough to make me want to commit suicide for life has lost ALL its purpose. Good men are weak because they can't find love. And so, the bad men continue to be strengthened because they get ALL the heavenly glory.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Non

[Stigweard]

I do not believe there is any woman who is different. They all love evil, and hate everything good.

 

This is enough to make me want to kill myself, TRULY. I may just do it. KNowing that Good has no purpose. Good cannot exist. Everyone truly despises good yet they don't know it. Everyone love evil yet they don't know it. It IS enough to make me want to commit suicide for life has lost ALL its purpose. Good men are weak because they can't find love. And so, the bad men continue to be strengthened because they get ALL the heavenly glory.

To throw things in a totally different direction ... how do Taoists handle not being able to find a true and nurturing feminine companion?

 

Firstly they find solace in the Law of Universal Energy Response: External experience is a perfect match to one's own internal energy vibration.

 

So discordant female interactions in the external world is a mirror of one's own internal energy. Either your wholesome yang or your wholesome yin (or both) is somehow out of whack.

 

So what to do about it?

 

Our most potent external sources of Yin and Yang are respectively the Moon and the Sun. Taoists have developed simple but potent practices to absorb the energy of these celestial beings to harmonize internal energies.

 

Perhaps we are not "man enough" to attract a good woman. So by drawing in Solar Yang energy we can empower our masculinity to become more "alpha-like". Perhaps we can't relate to women properly. So by drawing in the Lunar Yin energy we can enter a divine engagement with the sacred feminine.

 

If anyone would like to learn these simple methods you are welcome to PM me.

 

[Non]

To throw things in a totally different direction ... how do Taoists handle not being able to find a true and nurturing feminine companion?

 

Firstly they find solace in the Law of Universal Energy Response: External experience is a perfect match to one's own internal energy vibration.

 

So discordant female interactions in the external world is a mirror of one's own internal energy. Either your wholesome yang or your wholesome yin (or both) is somehow out of whack.

 

So what to do about it?

 

Our most potent external sources of Yin and Yang are respectively the Moon and the Sun. Taoists have developed simple but potent practices to absorb the energy of these celestial beings to harmonize internal energies.

 

Perhaps we are not "man enough" to attract a good woman. So by drawing in Solar Yang energy we can empower our masculinity to become more "alpha-like". Perhaps we can't relate to women properly. So by drawing in the Lunar Yin energy we can enter a divine engagement with the sacred feminine.

 

If anyone would like to learn these simple methods you are welcome to PM me.

 

 

well if ur talking about solar yang and all that.. I dont really go outside by myself too much often. I have EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME social anxiety. It may even be natural considering the way the world is and my views.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Non

[Stigweard]

well if ur talking about solar yang and all that.. I dont really go outside by myself too much often. I have EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME EXTREME social anxiety. It may even be natural considering the way the world is and my views.

I understand People can be hard and confusing to deal with sometimes. Which is why alot of Taoist practitioners choose to spend their time with the natural forces of the Sun, Moon, trees, mountains, etc. Perhaps you could find a natural setting somewhere away from people completely where you can spend time just with nature. Works for me

[Non]

I understand People can be hard and confusing to deal with sometimes. Which is why alot of Taoist practitioners choose to spend their time with the natural forces of the Sun, Moon, trees, mountains, etc. Perhaps you could find a natural setting somewhere away from people completely where you can spend time just with nature. Works for me

 

 

Exactly. I long for this so much.. though there is hardly any of that in my area. Even if there is, it's all just tourist attraction. hard to find places by myself. But... heh.. maybe I just need to explore. I'm actually afraid to explore because that means I'll have to put up with lots of people and societal conventions, and I'm very unconventional.. at my own expense of course.

[shaolin]

Non,

 

I hear what you're saying to some extent, but there are good people, including good women that love other good people and feel the same as you.

 

People often get hurt when they share their goodness with others, who abuse this goodness. So they say " fuck it, I got hurt by being the good person that I am so now, Im not gonna be that good person anymore". People become angry, closed and dark to protect themselves and end up hurting themselves in the process.

 

I'd say that this is the case with the majority of relationships, especially in the west. People are afraid to be good and open and kind, because this is being vanurable and they dont have the strength to be weak. They make themselves miserable and others, and they emit this dark, closed defensive ugliness and they begin to dislike goodness.

 

I say, the kinder you are, the more you need to cultivate a mean side, that you can use when you need to.

 

Be yourself , open kind and good. Dont be afraid of showing your goodness or of being vaunerable, somone good will come to you. But you must be able to be badder than the bad person who may try to abuse the goodness in you.

 

A rose is protected by thorns.

 

Most people are self interested, full of ego and selfish rather than selfless. Thats their problem not yours.

Its the sign of the times, an example of societies effect on the individual.

 

If you want to get out and meet people and women , then go ahead and face the world, the good and the bad in it. If you want to isolate yourself then you can. But you must either except a situation or change it or you will suffer.

 

Rather light a candle than complain about the darkness.

 

Dont feel bad because of the bad in others, or because thay dont want you and your goodness. They dont deserve it so they can get lost.

 

Enjoy the goodness you have in yourself and be realistic.

 

Being a virgin at your age is not an issue, no big deal. If you really wanted sex you could easily find it, there is no expectation on you that you must meet, only what you really want for yourself.

 

Take it easy and get in to an aggressive sport or martial arts, develop yourself. Then you can start smashing bad people, you might enjoy it!

 

Shaolin.

[Non]

I'm sorry people.

[Stigweard]

I'm sorry people.

Don't be sorry matey, none of us are perfect around here (hahaha ... least of all me). I think you should print off shaolin's post above, stick to your bedroom wall and read it every day

[Sloppy Zhang]

I'm sorry people.

 

Are you at a college with a large fraternity/sorority community?

 

I don't want to stereotype, because I know a some good people in the Greek system, but the Greek system is usually not a central location for, eh, good qualities. Lots of substance use (legal and illegal), lots of sex, little care for anything really substantial.

 

If you attend a college that is dominated by the Greek system, or you go to a college that is, err, less academically oriented, you really, REALLY are going to see a horrible side of life. I go to what's considered a more academic university, but even at my university there is a very, VERY large group of.... unsavory people doing unsavory things.

 

But again, it's what's most available to you, so it only SEEMS predominant. Not all people are like that, and hopefully when some of the people you see grow up, they won't be like it either- or at least they will see the long term repercussions of their ways.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Sloppy Zhang

[Non]

I dont go to a school that has that large Greek system thing...

 

I think it still occurs but this is a community college, not a university.

 

Anyways... I still don't believe it. All women like the bad guys, and hate the good guys. I'll never believe it. I just might end up killing myself.. I do know that I will never be able to find anyone because of this.

 

The world is TOTALLY OPPOSITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You do good, only shit comes to you. You do bad, and ... if you've done it confidently, you get rewards, but only if you'll keep doing it.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Non

[Non]

I don't even think that it's just that men are a-holes. I think most men become "a-holes", pervs, etc. because 'attractive' to women, but a good guy will always be told that's not how it is and that they're actually appalled but in secret and behind his back the real deal is another story.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

I don't even think that it's just that men are a-holes. I think most men are just a-holes to be 'attractive' because that's what attracts women.

 

What attracts women is confidence.

 

It doesn't matter what you, as long as you do it confidently.

 

And it isn't just women, people in general are attracted to confidence. Part of being confident is being comfortable in your own skin. It's having that self stability. Which is something that meditation can bring you, conveniently enough.

 

There's this perception that being a "nice guy" means being a doormat. And that's not the case at all. It's about being confident. You can be a nice guy but not meet any girls because you don't go out and meet girls.

 

The thing about "bad boys" is that they go up to women and they don't care if the women reject them. They just go "pfft, dumb bitch." And move on to the next one.

 

Yeah, they're assholes. But they don't let failure stop them. They keep going until they reach a success. It doesn't matter how many times you fail. Eventually you will succeed. And as you get more practice, you succeed more often. "Bad guys" don't let failure stop them, and they try enough until they figure out what works.

 

People who are too self conscious, or "nice guy" who don't just want to use women wind up not trying because they are afraid of failure, or don't have enough experience to find out what works. So it seems like they don't always get the girl.

 

But, look, women like nice guys. They might be attracted to someone who is confident, but in the long run, women like nice guys. People in general like people who are nice. No one wants to be hurt or used.

 

You just have to get out there and meet people, and have the confidence to do so.

 

See what you said (emphasis mine):

You do good, only shit comes to you. You do bad, and ... if you've done it confidently, you get rewards, but only if you'll keep doing it.

 

You can do ANYTHING confidently, and you will get rewards.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Sloppy Zhang

[Non]

What attracts women is confidence.

 

It doesn't matter what you, as long as you do it confidently.

 

And it isn't just women, people in general are attracted to confidence. Part of being confident is being comfortable in your own skin. It's having that self stability. Which is something that meditation can bring you, conveniently enough.

 

There's this perception that being a "nice guy" means being a doormat. And that's not the case at all. It's about being confident. You can be a nice guy but not meet any girls because you don't go out and meet girls.

 

The thing about "bad boys" is that they go up to women and they don't care if the women reject them. They just go "pfft, dumb bitch." And move on to the next one.

 

Yeah, they're assholes. But they don't let failure stop them. They keep going until they reach a success. It doesn't matter how many times you fail. Eventually you will succeed. And as you get more practice, you succeed more often. "Bad guys" don't let failure stop them, and they try enough until they figure out what works.

 

People who are too self conscious, or "nice guy" who don't just want to use women wind up not trying because they are afraid of failure, or don't have enough experience to find out what works. So it seems like they don't always get the girl.

 

But, look, women like nice guys. They might be attracted to someone who is confident, but in the long run, women like nice guys. People in general like people who are nice. No one wants to be hurt or used.

 

You just have to get out there and meet people, and have the confidence to do so.

 

See what you said (emphasis mine):

 

 

You can do ANYTHING confidently, and you will get rewards.

 

I don't even believe in that. If they say it's all about confidence I'm pretty sure it's not the confidence they think they're attracted to. They're attracted to the brutish type of confidence, the type that destroys a man's soul. Maligned pride, the type that says "look, I can make this other guy look like the lowest lifeform on Earth.... look, I can render this other man dead". because when it all comes down to it, it's ALL violent competition. All about murder and death. They don't want you to have confidence, they don't want you to just win, they want you to win BRUTALLY. In a girl's subconscious mind, a guy losing is equivalent to a death and becoming emasculated (ie being dead, or severely disabled). To a girls mind a simple game of soccer is war. One on one game, is a brutal fight to the death. Even, if the game is "game of love/sex/genocide", even if what makes one win is simple past experience of winning in this "game" of deception. That's why virgins, will always stay virgin until they're very old. IF they even get any. BY simple virtue of not having had any past sexual experiences with women a man is rendered BIOLOGICALLY a dead man. Literally. In all persons eyes, especially his own, and especially to his own cells which even try to get his own self to commit suicide through depression for 'natural/sexual selection,' to fulfill evolutionary purpose of simply maintaining a balance of evil and death in this world. There is no love, there is simple evil, and 'love of evil'.

 

I'll never believe that women are attracted to simple kind-heartedness. ALL EVIDENCE shows otherwise. If you see a "nice" guy, or a "good guy" with a girl, you can be sure, he got the girl with bad-ass appeal. Nothing more, nothing less.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Non

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

I don't even believe in that. If they say it's all about confidence I'm pretty sure it's not the confidence they think they're attracted to. They're attracted to the brutish type of confidence, the type that destroys a man's soul. Maligned pride, the type that says "look, I can make this other guy look like the lowest lifeform on Earth.... look, I can render this other man dead". because when it all comes down to it, all violent competition. All about killing. They don't want you to have confidence, they don't want you to just win, they want you to win BRUTALLY. In a girl's subconscious mind, a guy losing is equivalent to a die, dieing and becoming emasculated (ie being dead, or severely disabled). To a girls mind a simple game of soccer is war. One on one game, is a brutal fight to the death. Even, if the game is "game of love/sex/genocide", even if what makes one win is simple past experience of winning in this "game" of deception. That's why virgins, will always stay virgin until they're very old. IF they eve get any.

 

I'll never believe that they're attracted to simple kind heartedness. ALL EVIDENCE shows otherwise. If you see a "nice" guy, or a "good guy" with a girl, you can be sure, he got the girl with bad-ass appeal. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

 

Sadly, my direct experiences conform to what non describes.

 

 

Confidence is, however, definitely a key role in attraction, but it is not a dominant role.

 

Confidence in being "nice" ensures you'll "finish last" which requires teh utmost patient approach, which most people lack the capacity for and will most likely wind up resorting to "if you cant beat them, join them" which is why "they" seem so predominant.

 

Some people realize the err of these ways, but most, at least in america, do not. ever. the closest they might come is, while still taking comfort in their belief and ways, they might begin to doubt the validity. but they dont change significantly from that, they just invite self doubt into play.

 

 

 

WHICH..... defeats confidence.

 

 

So as you describe, sloppy, it's better to be stupid, brutish, and confident than to try to preserve any level of integrity at the risk of losing confidence.

 

 

 

Non, my only advice to you is this:

 

 

DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU.

 

 

Be confident that you are who you are, and who you are is all you need to be.

 

It might not attract the girls you want, but you will present a more attractive aura, even if it pushes more people away than draws in. Be true to how you feel, not trying to be someone you're not, jsut to pick up chicks. cuz in the long run, they never wanted you i nthe first place, they were just misguided by their influences to think what you presented was desirable.

 

 

Inevitably, all lies are exposed. the "bad ass" guys wind up living alone and dying alone at age 80 and only THEN do they come to the insights we throw about so casually as if it were common sense.

 

 

 

WE are avatars.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I don't even believe in that. If they say it's all about confidence I'm pretty sure it's not the confidence they think they're attracted to. They're attracted to the brutish type of confidence, the type that destroys a man's soul. Maligned pride, the type that says "look, I can make this other guy look like the lowest lifeform on Earth.... look, I can render this other man dead". because when it all comes down to it, it's ALL violent competition. All about murder and death. They don't want you to have confidence, they don't want you to just win, they want you to win BRUTALLY. In a girl's subconscious mind, a guy losing is equivalent to a death and becoming emasculated (ie being dead, or severely disabled). To a girls mind a simple game of soccer is war. One on one game, is a brutal fight to the death. Even, if the game is "game of love/sex/genocide", even if what makes one win is simple past experience of winning in this "game" of deception. That's why virgins, will always stay virgin until they're very old. IF they even get any. BY simple virtue of not having had any past sexual experiences with women a man is rendered BIOLOGICALLY a dead man. Literally. In all persons eyes, especially his own, and especially to his own cells which even try to get his own self to commit suicide through depression for 'natural/sexual selection,' to fulfill evolutionary purpose of simply maintaining a balance of evil and death in this world. There is no love, there is simple evil, and 'love of evil'.

 

I'll never believe that women are attracted to simple kind-heartedness. ALL EVIDENCE shows otherwise. If you see a "nice" guy, or a "good guy" with a girl, you can be sure, he got the girl with bad-ass appeal. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

I hate to tell you buddy, but that's a skewed point of view from a limited perspective.

 

From MY perspective, what you say is wrong.

 

I'm a nice guy. I get plenty of girls.

 

I'm telling you, it's about confidence. Even if you lose a soccer game, if you play the loss off confidently, it's not a big deal. If you ACT defeated, dead, and emasculated, you WILL be defeated, dead, and emasculated. If you don't let it affect you, then it gives you an air of impenetrability. "He lost, but it's like.... it's like it didn't even bother him!"

 

If you're a virgin because you haven't gotten any, and you won't ever get any unless you aren't a virgin, then HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE HAVE SEX?

 

If you are so concerned about being a virgin, go fuck somebody. You're at college. It's not that hard. In fact, at college it's harder NOT to fuck somebody.

 

If you only want to have sex with "the right one", then go find the right one. That might involve having, yes, patience. It might involve, like, not having sex with someone.

 

If having sex is so important to you, then go have sex.

 

If it isn't, then don't care one way or the other. If you want to find a girl, go out and find one.

 

Keywords: Go. Out.

 

Look at where you are now, and DON'T BE THERE. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Stop being where you are. You aren't going anywhere, and you aren't going to get anywhere.

 

You can be a nice guy and get girls. Trust me.

[Non]

 

 

If you're a virgin because you haven't gotten any, and you won't ever get any unless you aren't a virgin, then HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE HAVE SEX?

 

 

 

When you're young, you can be a virgin, people will avoid you. When you're older, nobody will touch you with a 10 foot pole. Not one female. Even if she's a virgin herself, even if she's 'average', or even less than 'average'. Only perhaps a whore. When you're young it's ok to have first time experiences, or learn or be ignorant of anything. It's ok. When you're older, the harder it is, society just doesn't work that way. The only time to do things, is at the youngest possible age. The older you get, the more you have people thinking you are this or that way for a number of truly negative reasons, regardless of the real reason. Society doesn't have a place for such 'developmentally retarded' folks. The only way is to restart... but in this world even restarted won't work. You gotta be bad. All we hear in our radio, and TV, in social settings, are subliminals telling you the only way to make it work is to BE EVIL. The only way.

 

I wont go the route of the pick up artist. My experiences with them have told me that they're just teaching guys to lie, appear cold and "bad-ass" and how to appear in some way that you may not already be. I dont know how much they've evolved but still the majority is I would think about that. Besides most are just about marketing. You see Mystery on TV acting like he's a magician and that's how he gets females with tricks and lines, or routines/techniques. But in real life the way he pulls women is most probably the same way a jerk does.

 

All females, all of the feminine, hates me. Because the feminine only wants us to be evil. All female animals have it in them to be attracted to the most violent and brutal of men. All of us, have it in us ingrained to be evil. nature thinks that's what works. Because it produces good, right? And good produces more evil.

 

I still do not believe good gets anywhere but more evil. The only reason good exists is to maintain evil, and vice versa.

Edited June 30, 2010 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

When you're young, you can be a virgin, people won't avoid you. When you're older, nobody will touch you with a 10 foot pole. Not one female. Even if she's a virgin herself, even if she's 'average', or even less than 'average'. Only perhaps a whore. When you're young it's ok to have first time experiences, or learn or be ignorant of anything. It's ok. When you're older, the harder it is, society just doesn't work that way. The only time to do things, is at the youngest possible age. The older you get, the more you have people thinking you are this or that way for a number of truly negative reasons, regardless of the real reason. Society doesn't have a place for such 'developmentally retarded' folks. The only way is to restart... but in this world even restarted won't work. You gotta be bad. All we hear in our radio, and TV, in social settings, are subliminals telling you the only way to make it work is to BE EVIL. The only way.

 

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until college age.

 

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until *gasp* they get married! And *gasp* sometimes that's not even until their mid or late 20's!!!!

 

Seriously. If you're in college, it's not a big deal if you're a virgin. Some of them think it's cute. You can tell them you don't have much experience, but are willing to practice, even if it's long and hard

 

That's the thing. You have to play it with confidence.

 

Your view of women, and humans in general, is dangerous and, no offense, misguided. You are going to wind up hurting yourself a lot of you continue on with this thinking.

 

The reason people are attracted to what can be viewed as "evil" is because "evil" people DON'T CARE. The bad boy doesn't care if you think he's a bad boy. The bad boy doesn't care if he misses a goal in soccer. The bad boy doesn't care if he's never had sex. They play it off in an unaffected way, and carry on with their lives. If someone brings it up, the "bad boy" doesn't let it affect him.

 

THAT'S what attracts people. The attitude of, "if you don't like me, you can go fuck yourself and I'll carry on with my life". (I'll give you a nice guy translation: "If you don't like me, that's fine, I don't need your approval. I'll be over there. Bye.")

 

But guess what?

 

Nice guys can have a confident attitude to.

 

Seriously. Being a nice guy does not mean being a doormat.

 

Nice guys get plenty of action.

Edited June 29, 2010 by Sloppy Zhang

[gendao]

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until college age.

 

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until *gasp* they get married! And *gasp* sometimes that's not even until their mid or late 20's!!!!

 

Seriously. If you're in college, it's not a big deal if you're a virgin. Some of them think it's cute. You can tell them you don't have much experience, but are willing to practice, even if it's long and hard

Not true.

 

Girls are far more sexually active than boys now.

 

The average age American girls lose their V-card is now around 13.8-17 vs 14.7-18 for boys. So, they have about a year jump on guys.

Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man?

I absolutely believe this too.

 

Seriously, you're not going to meet many remotely-attractive co-eds in their 20s who are still virgins these days - unless she's Christian or something.

 

I remember when I dated an 18-yo Christian girl once who was ASHAMED that she was still a virgin! She was like the last one left in her high school. All her friends had been fvcking for a while and most had already had abortions. She felt very "left behind."

 

Why do you think they made such a big deal when it was revealed that Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson were "STILL" *gasp* virgins at age 18!? If this was the norm, it wouldn't have been so shocking...

 

But it still took many more experiences for me to realize that girls aren't in it for love like we're falsely told - they're in it for ego (just like many men). That's why high sexual performance is the key to regaining some leverage in any relationship now. Society provides women with everything else they can possibly want in life. The only thing that is scarcer and harder for them to find is good sex. Remember, most women don't even come during intercourse. And if you measured when people had their first ORGASM, I'm sure men would have women beat!

 

There are probably just as many 40-yo "orgasm-virgin" females as virgin males out there! So, there's the difference. Men have trouble getting sex - but when they do, it's usually "good" enough (orgasmic) for them - regardless of the girl. Whereas women have no trouble getting sex - it's just usually not that "good" (orgasmic) for them.

 

From this standpoint, of course girls will look down on male virgins. But, losing your V-card is like getting your first job. You need experience to get a job, but a job to get experience! Yet somehow, most of us all still end up getting laid & employed eventually, though!

 

My advice to non is that - yes, the liberalized secular world now is a lot like you see it. So, you will have to evolve to adapt to it. In the short run, PU has proven to be the only effective method for this. Getting some women could help you become more content. But in the long run, only freeing yourself from the illusion of your ego via enlightenment will bring you happiness. Not all the pu55y in the universe.

Edited June 29, 2010 by vortex

[Non]

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until college age.

 

There are LOTS of girls who don't have sex until *gasp* they get married! And *gasp* sometimes that's not even until their mid or late 20's!!!!

 

Yes but the majority who do this in my area at least are christians, and I'm no christian. and yes, girls can do that, guys who aren't christian on the other hand can't... Very few would do that if they're not religious. remember.. marriage these days is falling apart. Nobody believes in marriage, nobody believes in love.

 

And , no, I disagree with the 'pick up' and I disagree in turning it all into some game, because life is no game, especially for the 'losers'.

 

I cannot even do pick up. Pick up requires a specific type of person, not everyone can do that. It requires me to change into someone I'm not, be a dick, etc. You're suggesting that to get to a relationship that could turn out ok for the long term, I must go through first a bunch of one night stands, and have as many promiscuous sexual experiences. Yet first of all to get into that I need to turn into someone I am not. I cannot get experience, without first having experience, and to get the experience I need, I NEED THE EXPERIENCE firsthand. I simply cannot get past this dumb paradox. I need to be casual. I need to have had many casual experiences, to get them first, I need those. I Cannot lie, my true personality does show. I'm not good at deceiving. Only a person who can deceive is a person who can draw from experience, and good models of what they need to model, which I can't do because first of all I can't connect with the model, remember I have poor social experience, poor social skills, at least for this society, and extreme social anxiety, at least again for this society. So in a sense.. I have to be bad, to get someone. I have to lie about myself. seriously.. the only way is hypnotism. And hypnotism... is kind of extreme. Any other way I could not get into it.

 

It's either a complete lobotomy, plus some magic and miracles, changes in history, or live alone the rest of my entire life, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Some people, very few people have what I have, and that is complete and total bad luck when it comes to the opposite sex. I'm not talking about small bad luck that most people have, or that other people have no. Because about 90 percent of people actually have had something by my age. at least SOMETHING, at least even interaction with the opposite sex. Then there are the rest, who have had some bad luck I guess... but even fewer than that are just like me, who are on a COMPLETELY different level than most of society in mind and soul, even different than the crowd of so called "different people" and "alternative thinkers".

Edited June 30, 2010 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

Yes but the majority who do this in my area at least are christians, and I'm no christian. and yes, girls can do that, guys who aren't christian on the other hand can't... Very few would do that if they're not religious. remember.. marriage these days is falling apart. Nobody believes in marriage, nobody believes in love.

 

And , no, I disagree with the 'pick up' and I disagree in turning it all into some game, because life is no game, especially for the 'losers'.

 

I cannot even do pick up. Pick up requires a specific type of person, not everyone can do that. It requires me to change into someone I'm not, be a dick, etc. You're suggesting that to get to a relationship that could turn out ok for the long term, I must go through first a bunch of one night stands, and have as many promiscuous sexual experiences. Yet first of all to get into that I need to turn into someone I am not. I cannot get experience, without first having experience, and to get the experience I need, I NEED THE EXPERIENCE firsthand. I simply cannot get past this dumb paradox. I need to be casual. I need to have had many casual experiences, to get them first, I need those. I Cannot lie, my true personality does show. I'm not good at deceiving. Only a person who can deceive is a person who can draw from experience, and good models of what they need to model, which I can't do because first of all I can't connect with the model, remember I have poor social experience, poor social skills, at least for this society, and extreme social anxiety, at least again for this society. So in a sense.. I have to be bad, to get someone. I have to lie about myself. seriously.. the only way is hypnotism. And hypnotism... is kind of extreme. Any other way I could not get into it.

 

No, I'm not.

 

I'm saying do something that isn't going to make you feel like shit.

 

On the one hand, you lament the fact that nobody likes love and that you don't want to be a dick.

 

And on the other, you lament the fact that you aren't getting laid because you aren't the right person to get laid.

 

In case you haven't noticed, but the solution to each one involves breaking the other.

 

Which means that you either sit here in misery and confusion for the rest of your life, or you change your worldview.

 

You realize that women aren't just into painful relationships (okay, some might be for psychological reasons, but not more so than men).

 

You realize the world isn't "evil" or run by "evil" or that you need to be "evil" to get ahead.

 

You realize that you have to be confident in who you are, and love yourself before anyone else can love you.

 

You take whatever cards you are dealt and play them to the best of your ability, and play them confidently with no compromises. You're talking to a girl that isn't so into you. Okay, move on. Oh, you're talking to a really nice girl, you're getting along great. You ask her out. She invites you over. You have fun. She's not looking for a serious relationship. You are. You move on. You talk to another girl who isn't that into you. You move on. Meet a nice girl, she's sick of dating guys who are dicks, sees you're a nice guy, you get into a relationship. Maybe you have sex, maybe you don't. But you don't really care because it's the relationship that matters. Maybe it lasts, maybe it doesn't.

 

That's life. You try. You fail. You try. You succeed. Maybe you fail more. Maybe you succeed more. But if you only try once or twice and fail both times and never try again then you will ALWAYS fail by virtue of the fact that you quit.

 

You seem to have this idea in your head that if you go out and try to meet girls you somehow have to compromise yourself. If you are so un-confident that you feel the need to change in order to pick up a girl, you aren't going to get many girls, and the girls you do, you are never going to keep, because on some level they are going to sense that you aren't confident enough.

 

It's either a complete lobotomy, plus some magic and miracles, changes in history, or live alone the rest of my entire life, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Some people, very few people have what I have, and that is complete and total bad luck when it comes to the opposite sex. I'm not talking about small bad luck that most people have, or that other people have no. Because about 90 percent of people actually have had something by my age. at least SOMETHING, at least even interaction with the opposite sex. Then there are the rest, who have had some bad luck I guess... but even fewer than that are just like me, who are on a COMPLETELY different level than most of society in mind and soul, even different than the crowd of so called "different people" and "alternative thinkers".

 

If you think you have bad luck, you WILL have bad luck. Why?

 

Because when you are un-confident, women can smell it. Subtle changes in your voice, posture, mannerisms, etc. Subtle cues that you give off that women consciously or subconsciously pick up on let them know whether you are on the level or not.

 

I'm all for free thinking and being different. Not being part of the crowd. Word. That's legit. I respect that.

 

But being different DOESN'T mean you repel women. Being different ATTRACTS women because you set yourself apart from all the other guys who are trying to get your attention. The QUESTION is whether you see that apart-ness as a GOOD thing or a BAD thing.

 

If you think it's a GOOD thing that you are apart, and play it confidently, it's a good thing.

 

If you think it's BAD and get all nervous, it's a bad thing.

 

Sometimes a girls(s) I know will catch me meditating on a bench somewhere. I'll just be sitting with my eyes closed. They ask me what I'm doing just sitting there doing nothing, and I say I'm becoming one with the universe. They look at me and say I'm weird. I smile and say "thank you". Depending on who she is I may even give her a little wink then they laugh and smile and say "whatever" and we keep talking.

 

Point is, I don't let it hold me back. I address it when it comes up, then I let it go and move on. Don't get attached to it, and don't let it hold you down. Because if you go "oh my gawd, she thinks I'm weird, I'm never going to get laid, and she's never goig to want to be seen with me!" then you've already lost.

 

And guess what? Girls are just as much concerned about what guys think of them as guys are of what girls think of them. When they meet a guy who doesn't care what other people think, who acts according to the situation confidently, without getting all worked up over little things, it makes them feel better. Because if YOU feel okay about people thinking you are a little weird, it makes them feel more open and relaxed around you, and more willing to "be a little weird" around you too.

 

I've learned crazy things about some of the most unlikely women. Some really attractive women that have "weird" hobbies, "freaky" obsessions, random, off the wall thoughts. Really, it's "normal" stuff, but they are so afraid of their image. Just smile and listen. Try to get them to talk about themselves, and be open to it. People, not just women, like to feel comfortable in situations.

Edited June 30, 2010 by Sloppy Zhang