Dating Advice (Spin off from another thread)

[三江源]

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Edited September 28, 2015 by 三江源

[freeform]

You must be joking calling Russell Brand a 'bad boy'. he's a quasi philosophical comedian who presents himself as super friendly and hapless, chaotic and well meaning. girls love him because he's funny and flaky and very individual. and quite good looking,plus utterly non threatening. His brand of charm is that of the child.

 

Yup - and rather effeminate too.

 

I've bumped into him and he was charming and eccentric. He doesn't seem to do it to impress - more to have fun - seems to be authentic, 'vulnerable' and unpredictable - all likeable qualities... so no surprise that the ladies are big fans (I'm sure fame and looks help too).

 

I feel like I live in a different world to Non, Vortex and crew... It's like you guys live in some war-torn alternate universe... with 'women' out there to corrupt your innocent, delicate egos.

 

Firstly it feels weird talking about 'women' and 'men'... it's so generalised, so objectified... If we must generalise, I find that women - and indeed my own feminine side - rarely place importance on 'good' and 'bad'... that seems to be a masculine concern...

 

Strength is a very attractive aspect - of course in Non and crew's alternate universe this has everything to do with violence and competition and alphas and betas and all kinds of survival stuff... In my world it means being unapologetic, unashamed, authentic and courageous. Not in an effort-full, contrived way, but in a laid back, solid way. Be vulnerable without hiding. Be sexual without being ashamed. Accomplish things without becoming obsessed with the outcome. Be present and in your body. Love freely without holding back. Don't get scared and uncomfortable when she is being all chaotic and emotional - but be present and there for her.

 

And of course there are just as many individual characteristics that 'women' like or dislike... some like outgoing guys, some like quiet ones, some like intellectual, others physical etc etc. Just seems so weird that some of you think you have to be ultra confident, aggressive, oppressive, arrogant, muscular etc to attract a mate... it's like girls thinking they have to be blond, slim, tanned, huge tits, long legs and wear miniskirts and low necklines... it's just simply not true - it's a grotesque caricature of 'what men like'.

[Aetherous]

You must be joking calling Russell Brand a 'bad boy'. he's a quasi philosophical comedian who presents himself as super friendly and hapless, chaotic and well meaning. girls love him because he's funny and flaky and very individual. and quite good looking,plus utterly non threatening. His brand of charm is that of the child.

 

Very true.

[NeiChuan]

You must be joking calling Russell Brand a 'bad boy'. he's a quasi philosophical comedian who presents himself as super friendly and hapless, chaotic and well meaning. girls love him because he's funny and flaky and very individual. and quite good looking,plus utterly non threatening. His brand of charm is that of the child.

 

Hes pretty hilarious, but can be over the top. I sometimes have to change the channel lol.

[三江源]

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Edited September 28, 2015 by 三江源

[Taiji Bum]

heads up to all the dudes mystified about how to attract and keep a woman ...

The relationship coach David Deida says what Freeform says too. I might save that quote and print it out....

[markern]

The relationship coach David Deida says what Freeform says too. I might save that quote and print it out....

 

And Deida is recommended reading by a lot of puas.

[Taiji Bum]

The essential principle to the dating and relationship program by David Deangelo called "Become Mr Right"... and its only 41 seconds long!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3rkgTjIiSg

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

 

Don't get scared and uncomfortable when she is being all chaotic and emotional - but be present and there for her.

 

 

I have to say your post is very good Freeform.

 

I would like to make a bit of a clarification(my opinion, obviously I can't make a clarification for you)though. If it's a feeling of being scared and uncomfortable that makes a man do a runner when a woman gets all emotional and chaotic, then he should stay.

 

But, to be honest, women have a lot of emotional and chaotic times. It's my experience that after you've weathered the storm a few times(one that wasn't your fault or anything to do with you)it becomes somewhat habit forming and the man ends up as an emotional dustbin, especially if the woman likes to ignore the solution. It's much better to say "go away and sort yourself out, then come back when you're better.".

 

It's not a popular thing to do I must say! And for sure, almost all women will tell you to stick around, of course they would. But sometimes the only way to help them gain true balance within themselves is that. I've been thanked for it......but certainly not at the time though!

[Gjeken]

Just be happy

The Most Powerful Girl-Gettin Technique of All Time http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/powerful.htm

[freeform]

Good to bring up the emotional part... because this 'emotional weather' is a feminine characteristic - it's universal - it's a part of you too.

 

Notice I say "Don't get scared and uncomfortable when she is being all chaotic and emotional" - 'when' - not 'if'.

Your point of view assumes that emotional and chaotic is 'bad', 'unbalanced' etc. But it just is. Just like an actual storm is not good or bad - it just is.

I don't mean that as a man you should help 'sort it out'. There's no 'sorting it out' - emotions happen in the moment - they're not logical - and of course we have all kinds of reasons for them and stories surrounding them - and the masculine impulse is to focus on that - the stories and reasons - because it's the most stable, logical part of an emotion... but it's actually the bit that is pretty much irrelevant.

By 'be present' and 'there for her' I don't mean that you should necessarily get involved in it, give suggestions, solutions etc - I mean be stable, embodied and centred... whilst it passes through her. Don't take it personally, don't get lost in the story or drama - because then both of you will be lost. Be in your body and in the moment and a witness to the emotion coming up and going down - that's what I've found is the most valuable contribution you can make to someone in the midst of powerful emotions... and this doesn't mean being static and detached... you can certainly empathise, feel some of the emotion yourself, but remain strong and rooted at the same time - and you'll see the effect this has. (especially on your sex-life )

The image that comes to mind is a lighthouse in a stormy sea. Very much there, in the midst of it all, but unshaken and deeply rooted. It's a very masculine image - a stone phallus with the constantly moving, undulating, powerful feminine sea raging around it.

(bare in mind the microcosm and macrocosm of this - you have an emotional, feminine essence in you too - this advice applies in both the micro and the macro - inside and outside)

[admin]

Eben Pagan (David DeAngelo) is a great guy in my experience. I consider him a mentor. Very reflective individual, full of sincerity and real integrity.

 

Sean

[Taiji Bum]

Eben Pagan (David DeAngelo) is a great guy in my experience. I consider him a mentor. Very reflective individual, full of sincerity and real integrity.

 

Sean

He keeps evolving and I cant wait to see what he is gunna do when he is in his 80's. He is the most intellectually honest teacher I have seen. I would love to go to one of his seminars!

[gendao]

Eben Pagan (David DeAngelo) is a great guy in my experience. I consider him a mentor. Very reflective individual, full of sincerity and real integrity.

Eben Pagan is an internet marketing guru!

 

Even his pseudonym & program were chosen with a clever marketing technique in mind - alliteration.

 

The main knock against him in PU is that he is not really a PUA - and doesn't really field-test his stuff. So, a lot of it may get too "New Agey" or merely theoretical. I think PU just happened to be a convenient vehicle for his marketing saavy. Hence, he's really more of a workaholic who focuses on building his multi-million dollar business - than getting results out in the field.

 

I mean, he's been milking his same "cocky funny" formula for like 15 years now??? That's really just a tiny facet of Game. But, it's also a stunning testament to his genius as a marketer to be able to keep marketing the same basic stuff for years...

 

I think he was one of the first guys who really adapted and formulated such a winning business model for internet marketing that has now become standard practice. Another guy who has applied the same methods to holistic health is David Wolfe. Both of these guys have an incredible feel for the market and can really connect with their audience.

 

Has anyone here started their own business or done IM before? Cuz I'd love some tips!

[Taiji Bum]

I love his marketing stuff too.

 

Edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVp2Utb7lTQ

1:41min Video on Self Discipline

Edited July 8, 2010 by Taiji Bum