Dating Advice (Spin off from another thread)

[Taiji Bum]

I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about dating advice people and the pick up artist crowd. Some of the stuff is pretty selfish and teaches you how to lie to get laid. This is an example of the other kind of stuff that teaches that if you want to be with a total 10 woman you need to be a total 10 man. This is David Deangelo talking about Gandhi's famous statement, "My life is my message" from a program called BECOME MR RIGHT.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWEyZEnoEgo

 

EDIT: Broken link here is the other one-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAihszhSWvo

Edited July 6, 2010 by Taiji Bum

[3L3VAT3]

no doubt... people are sometimes quick to poo-poo the "pickup community/industry" but like that clip; there are some genuine good messages about self improvement!

It's like saying "oh, martial arts is only for dudes who want to hurt or maim other people"

...that's simply not true and does a dis-service to all the genuine seekers of truth and discipline through the martial arts.

Well learning what it takes to be 'successful' with women is no different: yea there is going to be some good and there is going to be some bad... it's what you as a person take from it... if you have a heart filled with hate then your going to learn some deceptive shit, and if your intent is good then (and less face it wanting to get laid is HEALTHY) you can use it to further your development as a man...

...which by the way is severly lacking in the world today: yea all you need is a pair of nuts to be a 'male' but really though, what DOES being a MAN mean?

Really there are not too many people out there INITIATING young men into authentic manhood so that's why you have ...oh i don't know, gangbangers running around thinking that's what it's all about...

one of the most useful things i've come across (from the community)is the KING WARRIOR MAGICIAN LOVER series of books... should be required reading for anyone with a pair...

Men and women interacting is as UNIVERSAL as it gets, right? And no, some of it may not be Politically Correct...

anyways, thanks for posting that...

[Non]

well the problem is.. that yea some of those people do make some good statements but if they still support things I don't agree with I don't agree with them.

 

Many things in the USA are the same way. The "good" covers up the bad. "Oh he's a bad guy but he can be good when he wants to be".

 

Or.. someone doing and being bad, but then he does a little good and everyone goes crazy over it... makes you forget about all the wrong done. Forgive but don't forget, especially when they've done nothing to show that they haven't realized the wrong they've done.

 

So if David Deangelo knows how to be successful at anything (even at doing wrong, yet still being successful), then learn how to be successful but don't do wrong.

Edited July 5, 2010 by Non

[3L3VAT3]

What exactly has he done wrong?

I'm not defending him... i'm just curious...

and if you or anyone does anything wrong does that mean they can never contribute anything good?

If so than i'm Proper F'ed!!

 

Is it the having sex with women that is INHERENTLY wrong?

 

pray tell...

[Non]

Is it the having sex with women that is INHERENTLY wrong?

 

Hell no, you don't even have to ask that question.

 

Why do people usually have to misinterpret "conservative" behaviors by making them out to be afraid of being "excessively liberated?"

 

Maybe it's not so much that David Deangelo is doing something universally wrong, at least to some, but I just don't agree with him on some topics. I don't really care to discuss them either since I'm sure it would be met with arguments.

 

alright well here's one thing I disagree with: he advocates being cocky and 'bad' because if you're "funny" at the same it covers anything wrong with being cocky/bad. Not everyone can find cocky and bad behavior funny. That's just degrading for any other man.. and any man who is cocky at the expense of another innocent man, and pretty much any cocky behavior IS at the expense of other men and is mischievous is to me, wrong. I don't care if other women find it sexy, it just means that women like brutal suffering of other men and contribute to it. He also argues that it's 'primal' and 'subconscious' to woman and that women, unconsciously will like it and become uncontrollably horny about it because it's known as a brutally dominant behavior over violently competitive males who would otherwise have nothing else to be violent against each other for, ie they're not fighting over anything really virtuous. Therefore, he and other women do support violence and mass suffering all over the world resulting from such stupid competition. There really is no scarcity, people create scarcity, and it's usually not even those at the bottom, but those greedy few at the top, who would set up such a prison.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[gendao]

no doubt... people are sometimes quick to poo-poo the "pickup community/industry" but like that clip; there are some genuine good messages about self improvement!

It's like saying "oh, martial arts is only for dudes who want to hurt or maim other people"

I agree - great comparison!

 

Anyways, here's some insight on why "alpha bitches" prefer "bad boys."

She boldly told him 'You've met your match m***** f*****' as she threw a plastic water bottle at him at their first meeting.

 

when Brand assumed he would be taking the songstress home, he was in for a surprise when she refused him.

 

'Can you imagine the horrible feeling he had when he was used to getting everything he wanted?' she told the magazine.

 

She demanded that he take her on a date, and the romance blossomed from there. A week later, the pair were holidaying in Thailand.

Posing for a series of raunchy photographs for the magazine, the 25-year-old said she has reformed the former sex addict, who according to rumours used to sleep with up to 80 women a month.

 

'He was a heroin addict and now he's not. He was addicted to all kinds of things and now he's not. And he basically used to be a professional prostitute and now he's not,' she said.

 

'So he's an extremist, which can be both good and bad.'

 

'I always needed someone stronger than me and I am, like, a f****** strong elephant of a woman.'

 

'I say that hopefully in the humblest way I can. When we have an argument he knows I'm not just gonna throw my hands up and say, 'okay, you win.'

 

'Let's get into it. Let's start debating. Let's wrestle, Russell.'

 

Perry said she had got through to Brand's 'deep layer'.

 

'I always like hitting that deep spot, and I knew that West Ham was a deep spot for Russell,' she said.

It's the archetypal beauty tames the beast formula..

 

This dude was boinking 80 girls a month??? That would make Tiger Woods look like a choir boy!!

 

Not to mention a HEROIN ADDICT?!!!

 

But obviously, women dug his bad boy "magic shtick." And the more who dug it, the more others wanted it too via peer pressure...

 

Thing is, women are so strong these days - they are disgusted by anything weaker than them. And demand a man who is actually stronger than they are.

 

Nice beta males just don't get this and try to play Captain Save-A-Ho - which only demeans strong women because it implies they are weaker and need saving.

 

Whereas bad boys are not afraid to treat them as either fearsome enemies or powerful allies on the battlefield of sex. This attitude is actually more flattering to these women because it implies real respect - not patronization.

Edited July 6, 2010 by vortex

[Non]

From evolutionary biologists point of view..

 

Which is better, a male who is virtuous, and can contribute to the survival of his own kind, or a male who would not even care about his own kind, cares only about the individual and none of the whole, which does not ensure as much survival?

[Non]

I agree - great comparison!

 

Anyways, here's some insight on why "alpha bitches" prefer "bad boys."It's the archetypal beauty tames the beast formula..

 

This dude was boinking 80 girls a month??? That would make Tiger Woods look like a choir boy!!

 

Not to mention a HEROIN ADDICT?!!!

 

But obviously, women dug his bad boy "magic shtick." And the more who dug it, the more others wanted it too via peer pressure...

 

Thing is, women are so strong these days - they are disgusted by anything weaker than them. And demand a man who is actually stronger than they are.

 

Nice beta males just don't get this and try to play Captain Save-A-Ho - which only demeans strong women because it implies they are weaker and need saving.

 

Whereas bad boys are not afraid to treat them as either fearsome enemies or powerful allies on the battlefield of sex. This attitude is actually more flattering to these women because it implies real respect - not patronization.

 

Lots of women like to think they are even that strong, even men. What would they be without all the bad boy's they've fucked? What would all those badboys be without all the women they've fucked?

 

They obviously don't care because they're killing off the good guys while they're thinking 'well we gotta die somehow'.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[Non]

You know what's messed up.. at this point.. the only sort of balance I could achieve with regard to yin yang balance, ie to be "yang", in a short amount of time, in this world is to do the same that has been done to me and my kind, go off on a killing spree and then killing myself before anyone gets to me. but that's what happens when you live in such an extreme environment that needs extreme balancing out. Over a long term thing I don't even know.

 

Is this what the badboys want? A never ending killing sprees too between males and the unconscious rape of females, never ending too because it just keeps balancing itself out through more and more killing and rape, to preserve the existence of murder and rape. Murder and rape is what yang is, being the victim of the two is yin.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[Aetherous]

Contrary to what most assume, masculinity is calm and joyful.

 

The greatest warriors at the end of the day laugh happily, and love their lives...the worst warriors keep a scowl on their face...the violence follows them home from the hunt, and stays in their bodies, making them all tense.

 

Who is more manly?

 

The tense person has a lot of fear, despite forcing himself to run into battle. His body clenches up like ice. The open person has no fear, even if he waits until the time is right to rush in. Appearances can be deceiving!

 

Going on a killing spree because you can't cope with reality...that makes a person, a man? It seems that type of person would be the least manly. No root in them. No guts.

 

Becoming addicted to heroin and banging 2.6 girls a day...is this the sign of a person who gets what they want, or a person who is desperately trying? Is desperation manly? Or is having your shit together manly?

 

Once again appearances are deceiving...drive doesn't equal manliness.

[Taiji Bum]

Here David Deangelo is talking to a guy who wants to help kids in schools by becoming a public speaker and what he might want to consider in a woman besides good looks and nice tits. Anyone can apply these ideas on how to choose a woman in their own life.

 

Seriously, the program BECOME MR RIGHT is full of gold nuggets like this. Buy it if you want a perfect 10 woman and a perfect 10 relationship.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAihszhSWvo

[gendao]

You know what's messed up.. at this point.. the only sort of balance I could achieve with regard to yin yang balance, ie to be "yang", in a short amount of time, in this world is to do the same that has been done to me and my kind, go off on a killing spree and then killing myself before anyone gets to me. but that's what happens when you live in such an extreme environment that needs extreme balancing out. Over a long term thing I don't even know.

 

Is this what the badboys want? A never ending killing sprees too between males and the unconscious rape of females, never ending too because it just keeps balancing itself out through more and more killing and rape, to preserve the existence of murder and rape. Murder and rape is what yang is, being the victim of the two is yin.

But let's say you're at rock bottom now. And who knows, maybe your life may slowly keep improving until one day, 10 years from now, you are 50X better off than you are now?

 

Why force the worst possible ending now (for yourself and others) - and possibly prevent your own happier ending? I mean, as good or bad as your life could get in the future - I seriously doubt it could ever naturally get as bad as going Columbine/Cho/Sodini/Joe Stack.

 

Look at this guy. He lost his legs...then his job...and then his wife...

BUT HIS SPIRIT REMAINS INDOMITABLE. He is "HALF A MAN" NOW - yet 10X the average man!!!!

 

Surely you are still better off than him right now?

 

Take it one day, one step, at a time. You didn't give yourself any challenges in this life that you ultimately couldn't handle. Taiji Bum went from a completely celibate ascetic to dating 11 women in half a year now. JaneSF went from psychiatric depression to healing herself through BKF's dissolving qigong.

 

It's tough, but you must ENDURE! Society takes a long time to change..

 

Also, try to meet some holistic healers or mentors in your area. You are definitely at a point in life where you could use some personalized expert help. Know when you could use some outside help to deal with all these crushing issues. That's what they're there for.

Edited July 6, 2010 by vortex

[Non]

Contrary to what most assume, masculinity is calm and joyful.

 

The greatest warriors at the end of the day laugh happily, and love their lives...the worst warriors keep a scowl on their face...the violence follows them home from the hunt, and stays in their bodies, making them all tense.

 

Who is more manly?

 

The tense person has a lot of fear, despite forcing himself to run into battle. His body clenches up like ice. The open person has no fear, even if he waits until the time is right to rush in. Appearances can be deceiving!

 

Going on a killing spree because you can't cope with reality...that makes a person, a man? It seems that type of person would be the least manly. No root in them. No guts.

 

Becoming addicted to heroin and banging 2.6 girls a day...is this the sign of a person who gets what they want, or a person who is desperately trying? Is desperation manly? Or is having your shit together manly?

 

Once again appearances are deceiving...drive doesn't equal manliness.

 

yea really that's what it should be but I'm getting mixed messages being here.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[Non]

But let's say you're at rock bottom now. And who knows, maybe your life may slowly keep improving until one day, 10 years from now, you are 50X better off than you are now?

 

Why force the worst possible ending now (for yourself and others) - and possibly prevent your own happier ending? I mean, as good or bad as your life could get in the future - I seriously doubt it could ever naturally get as bad as going Columbine/Cho/Sodini/Joe Stack.

 

Look at this guy. He lost his legs...then his job...and then his wife...

BUT HIS SPIRIT REMAINS INDOMITABLE. He is "HALF A MAN" NOW - yet 10X the average man!!!!

 

Surely you are still better off than him right now?

 

Take it one day, one step, at a time. You didn't give yourself any challenges in this life that you ultimately couldn't handle. Taiji Bum went from a completely celibate ascetic to dating 11 women in half a year now. JaneSF went from psychiatric depression to healing herself through BKF's dissolving qigong.

 

It's tough, but you must ENDURE! Society takes a long time to change..

 

Also, try to meet some holistic healers or mentors in your area. You are definitely at a point in life where you could use some personalized expert help. Know when you could use some outside help to deal with all these crushing issues. That's what they're there for.

 

Sometimes really bad situations inspire, and in that case they are actually better off than others. Just cuz a person is externally worse off doesn't mean internally he is worse off. That person is many times better off than others who have it all but nothing internally.

[3L3VAT3]

lots of good points.. my head is spinning trying to think of all i want to say...

 

THERE will always be scarcity!! The first rule of nature is self preservation, and survival of the fittest... I personally would prefer if it were all sunshine and puppydogs and blowjobs for everybody but LOOK around: Life is suffering!!

Doesn't mean there isn't JOY or kindness or pleasure but those only exist in contrast to their opposite... isn't this truth on its' most basic level: no pain, no pleasure... no light, no dark... and all the infinite variations of yin and yang...

i believe our job as humans is to always strive for the good, but that battle is NEVER actually won, right?

that being said; what is the point of pain and suffering? Well, i believe it exists to make us grow...

look at mating... women lose a lot by having sex with a man won't stand up for himself... how the PHUCK is he going to protect the women and the inevitable offspring from the IMINANT dangers that exist in the world when he can't even handle her?

And by the way your example of 'going on a shooting rampage' is a textbook example of a man who is caught in the Shadow of the Warrior Archetype... fluxuating from the extreme of getting masochistically beat on to then going to the other Sadistic extreme of rampant violence...

the truth is to embrace the Benevolent Warrior... as some of the other posters takled about a Real STRONG man is supposed to stand up for the weak... Look at the Knights of old days, Chivalry and all that... they weren't supposed to be running around the countryside looting and raping just because they were bad ass, they were supposed to defend a ladies honor and fight for God and all that...

Seriously read the book; Warrior Within... and some of the others.

I believe we as a society (i hate it when people say that normally...) are so off course, men have become SO emasculated that women are STARVING for any source of Masculine energy they can get, whether that be from some dushbag Bad Boy, or whatever... cause there are so few REAL MEN...

ONly a damaged women would choose a sadistic man over a strong and righteous guy...

 

so yea

look at Martin Luther King, Gandhi and all the men who FOUGHT (not violently, but FOUGHT nonetheless) for righteous causes, that's what Mr. Deangelo is trying to say...

 

I called it a Seduction Industry as well as a community because it is just that... it exists to "MAKE MONEY" so they come up with some "oh, now our angle is Cocky Funny, now it's Indirect Game, Now it's Direct Game now it blh"

Truth is truth though and it dont always make dough!!

anyways.... Mr Non, i hope i don't come off as a jerkus malurkus or nothing... i just wanted to put this out there like that... i think there CAN be some good things from guys learning pick up...

world is going to need some STRONG leaders (prolly going to be men) to get us out of the mess we are in... STRONG men who take action, not hang there heads and complain... this is something i'm learning myself too

anywho...

[Non]

haha.

 

"Good Guy" doesn't ncessarily mean he can't protect himself. But you see a lot of good guys who really can protect himself and any woman, NOT getting the girl, simply because he isn't "bad".

 

People still associate goodness with weakness and bad with strength.. and I think that is a result of mass media and/or social programming. So if that's what alpha is, it really will be alpha as long as those types of males get the pvssy, because they're not the ones being biologically emasculated and therefore being made beta... the other guys are by virtue of not getting any being made biologically emasculate and beta. Alpha in this case refers to how much of a 'man' you are, which equates to having sex/gender, which is what makes one biologically male.

 

If you are asexual and asocial, it means, you're asexual and asocial, you're therefore not considered a male human being, and therefore are out of the equation for human beings are sexual, and social creatures.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[Non]

shouldn't it also be noted that the term alpha and beta are used wayy too much?

 

I mean, who's the say one is alpha or beta? Shouldn't it be more like alpha beta delta omega, etc? Each is supposed to have it's own place in the community, one is not simply 'better or worse' one just has a different skill set and thus a different place then another on the SAME TEAM. If the captain simply got it all he would have no team, and one person cannot do it all by himself we are all One.

 

but no we must preserve the struggle. We must support violence. Without evil there would be no good. Evil maintains good and vice versa, the same can be said about death. Love supports all. But it really is just a matter of Perspective, a point of view. So as long we keep thinking this way of duality then, well.. there will be alpha/beta strong/weak.. so in a sense, when we categorize this way.. we create the 'evil.' or we might as well be unmanifested.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Non

[gendao]

yea really that's what it should be but I'm getting mixed messages being here.

Well, being a fighter (martial arts) and being a lover (venusian arts) are 2 different skillsets. You have to know when to use each one in context.

 

Now, interesting thing tonight. I just went out for a walk. Had my shirt off cuz it's hot. 2 girls drove by and pulled up next to me. We chit-chatted for a bit & 1 got my number.

 

Point here being - my animal nature (beast) was on display - and that's what attracted women (beauty). Remember, women are like sports teams. They mainly just want the best player that will help them win (best ensure their and their offsprings' survival). Sure..."integrity" or "manners" are great - but capability is the main priority here.

 

Of course, attraction is merely the first step. I then had to prove my social fluency by being able to immediately carry on a fluid conversation with random strangers. And yes, I spent at least a year studying PU to improve this ability within myself. How much further it now goes also depends upon my additional skills. (Although, I am actually avoiding dating this year due to a host of projects including my training..)

 

Now, I'm certainly no Tiger Woods or Russell Brand...but for me this still represents a quantum leap from when I was a total Cho Seung-hui-type social omega male reject in junior high. So YES, I am living proof that with time and dedicated effort - you CAN improve yourself and things CAN get better. If I could do it - I know ANYONE can!!!! You can slowly shift from omega-to-beta-to-alpha!

 

Whatever doesn't kill you...MAKES YOU STRONGER!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Edited July 6, 2010 by vortex

[Enishi]

There are some good things you can take away from PUA stuff. It helped me out to an extent over the past two years. If you are a naturally introverted person who lives in your head and has spent much of your youth reading, playing video games and surfing the net, some training in the social arts is going to be necessary (not just for women either, but in general).

 

That being said however, alot of PUA stuff is ridicolous. If a girl doesn't want you because you don't pretend to be a cocky asshole, a wannabe rockstar or a tattoed rebel without a cause, you shouldn't feel bad about it. If anything, you should pity her.

 

In addition, one has to ask if it's really worthwhile for a young twenty something man who is at the height of his creative peak to be spending 8 hours a week running around in bars or trying to flirt with women on the street (which can get you thrown in prison in the US) when he could be spending said time meditating or training to be an engineer.

 

Another thing I've noticed in these types of threads all across the anglo section of the net is that if a guy has problems in dating, he is usually automatically subjected to the victim-blaming mentality. It couldn't be possibly be because part of the fault lies elsewhere. A higher ratio of men to women in american, 18-30 women preferring heroin addicts and other cretins, misandric media, universities, HR departments and affirmative action laws, no no, those aspects don't have any bearing. It's ALL the guy's fault!

 

Quite frankly, although I did have fun with some women in America, the lady I'm staying with currently during my Russian vacation has treated me a hell of a lot better than any of the anglo women I dated. Since she's only one person I can't say much about how decent the other ones are out here, although I have noticed that there are hot women wearing dresses EVERYWHERE, something I almost never see in cities around Michigan. Lol.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Enishi

[markern]

no doubt... people are sometimes quick to poo-poo the "pickup community/industry" but like that clip; there are some genuine good messages about self improvement!

It's like saying "oh, martial arts is only for dudes who want to hurt or maim other people"

...that's simply not true and does a dis-service to all the genuine seekers of truth and discipline through the martial arts.

Well learning what it takes to be 'successful' with women is no different: yea there is going to be some good and there is going to be some bad... it's what you as a person take from it... if you have a heart filled with hate then your going to learn some deceptive shit, and if your intent is good then (and less face it wanting to get laid is HEALTHY) you can use it to further your development as a man...

...which by the way is severly lacking in the world today: yea all you need is a pair of nuts to be a 'male' but really though, what DOES being a MAN mean?

Really there are not too many people out there INITIATING young men into authentic manhood so that's why you have ...oh i don't know, gangbangers running around thinking that's what it's all about...

one of the most useful things i've come across (from the community)is the KING WARRIOR MAGICIAN LOVER series of books... should be required reading for anyone with a pair...

Men and women interacting is as UNIVERSAL as it gets, right? And no, some of it may not be Politically Correct...

anyways, thanks for posting that...

 

 

I think reading the warrior king magician lover book could be great for you Non!

[Taiji Bum]

......although I have noticed that there are hot women wearing dresses EVERYWHERE, something I almost never see in cities around Michigan. Lol.

They're here too. I live in the burbs of Detroit and hot chicks wearing everything you could ever want are everywhere. Personally my favorite is jean skirts.

 

One thing I havent totally gotten used to with this stuff is everytime I get a girlfriend other women just flock to me. I know its because I am acting more confident and feeling good about myself so they notice that.

 

 

Where do you live Enishi? Maybe we can hang or do some Tai Chi?

[Brian]

...

[三江源]

.

Edited September 28, 2015 by 三江源

[RiverSnake]

 

One thing I havent totally gotten used to with this stuff is everytime I get a girlfriend other women just flock to me. I know its because I am acting more confident and feeling good about myself so they notice that.

 

 

Women are very competitve, they want what they can't have (like most people).That's one of the reasons you get flocked by women.

 

 

-The reason bad boys are so popular is because they don't give a shit what women think are super independent and confident.

 

-Also chicks dig a challenge and bad boys feed that sweet tooth.

 

-For those men looking for the secret pill to bang a bunch of chicks its called CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!

 

-You don't need anything else. Memorizing a bunch of PUA scripts is dumb.

 

-Men have been screwing women since the beginning of time without PUA scripts!

Edited July 6, 2010 by Tao Apprentice

[Enishi]

They're here too. I live in the burbs of Detroit and hot chicks wearing everything you could ever want are everywhere. Personally my favorite is jean skirts.

 

One thing I havent totally gotten used to with this stuff is everytime I get a girlfriend other women just flock to me. I know its because I am acting more confident and feeling good about myself so they notice that.

 

 

Where do you live Enishi? Maybe we can hang or do some Tai Chi?

 

Hmm I've mostly been around the run down areas of Detroit. Might be better in other spots I guess.

 

I do see hot women around the university in Ann Arbor, but it's still different here in Russia. At the moment I'm in a town which looks quick crappy in certain areas and the number of women wearing dresses is truly surreal. The only time I see so many women wearing classy dresses back home is at clubs. There's also a higher ratio of women to men as well.

 

I live in Ypsilanti. I get back from Russia in 3 days. We can probably hang out sometime after that. There aren't enough Taoist around me, lol.

Edited July 6, 2010 by Enishi