End of Life?

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

I found out today that a man I used to chat with in my old neighborhood a few years ago died recently, along with his wife. He was a retired doctor. He used to walk his dog near my house, and we pleasantly visited on a few occasions. He had moved back to the Mid-West a few years ago and I had not seen him since.

 

I saw this obituary in my local newspaper, which I'll excerpt:

 

"Daniel G--- M.D., and Katherine G---, husband and wife of 53 years, chose to leave this world with dignity on Sunday, July 18, 2010

...Dan and Kitty would have hoped their loving act could open a dialogue on the right of all, particularly the elderly and those who are afflicted with terminal illnesses, to decide for themselves when to end their lives..."

 

I searched online further, and found this news story:

 

 

Doctor, Alzheimer's-Stricken Wife Commit Suicide

 

A few days before he committed suicide with his wife of 53 years, Daniel G---, a retired physician, wrote a note explaining their mutual decision to die.

 

The two-page handwritten letter is dated July 16, and it is signed by both G--- and his wife, Katherine, whom he calls "Kitty." Kitty G--- had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease more than a year before.

 

The note describes Kitty's failing health, daily indignities and chronic pain. It touches on their determination not to allow the vibrant life they had shared come to an end in a nursing home, where they feared their deaths would be no better than dragged out and wrested from their control.

 

"I am hoping that sometime this weekend I will have the guts to act to deliver us both from a more dismal situation," he writes.

 

"I have been thinking about this for a long time. It will not be easy. However, as time goes by it will not get any better."

 

One of their three daughters, Mary W--, found Daniel and Kitty's bodies Sunday.

 

The two were inclined toward each other in the front seat of Kitty's car, which was parked in the garage of their home. They had asphyxiated themselves with helium, an inert gas they pumped into plastic bags that covered their heads.

 

Kitty G--- was 78. Daniel G--- would have turned 80 on Aug. 4.

 

A search of their home made clear that the G---s had been planning their deaths for years. Besides numerous suicide notes, investigators found several pieces of literature associated with the right-to-die movement, including a DVD of Derek Humphry's "Final Exit," as well as the book "To Die Well" by Sidney Wanzer, a physician whose wife had been close friends with Kitty Gute when they were in college. The notes indicate the G---s struggled not so much with decision to kill themselves, but rather when.

 

Daniel feared that he would grow too frail to carry out their decision or that Kitty's dementia would progress to a point that it would obliterate her ability to form will or intent.

 

In an undated note titled "Dying with Dignity or 'To Die Well,' " Daniel writes:

 

"I hope I am making the right call in dying in the very near future; dying well when I am able to act.

 

"There has been a great amount of emotional turmoil, which I hope to control at the finish line."

 

Daniel writes that his reason for dying is different from his wife's:

 

"As I have expressed before — I do not want to carry on in life without Kitty," he writes.

 

Mary W-- called her parents' deaths courageous.

 

"I am very proud of them," she said Thursday. "I hope I can be as bold for my own children."

 

W--- said she had tried to call her parents several times Sunday. After getting no response, she and her son went to their home. Having discovered their bodies, she called the G---'s longtime friend, cardiologist Bruce W---.

 

In an interview, Dr. W--- called the G---' death "a teachable moment."

 

"The big concept here is that American culture in particular has been deluded about the inevitability of death," he said.

 

For doctors in particular, he said, "It feels to us like a failure."

 

"We've become so good at extending life that what we don't realize is that what we are doing is prolonging death," he said.

 

"We are so intent on extending the date of death that we minimize the opportunity for it to go well."

 

"Yes," said Arthur R. Derse, director of the Center for Bioethics and Medical Humanities at the Medical College of Wisconsin, "we are death denying."

 

But, said Derse, who is a physician and a lawyer, people may take steps to control what he called "the medicallization of death."

 

Advance directives, he said, should be used to control life-prolonging intervention.

 

By employing such instruments as a living will or a power of attorney for health care, people can proactively direct end of life decisions, such as artificial nutrition and hydration, heroic procedures and pain control.

 

"We have the right to control the prolongation of death," he said, "but not the acceleration of death."

 

Daniel G--- didn't see it that way.

 

In one of the notes found Sunday, he wrote:

 

"I am sorry for whomever finds us, but it was time to end our lives. In this random world, it was our free choice."

 

Wow.

 

It seems people have either a supportive or condemning view of this. I think it was a noble and difficult decision, and i feel that they knew their lives well enough to know what was right for them. They had loving children and many grandchildren. Obviously he and his wife decided this long before his wife developed the Alzheimer's. If I'm in a similar position someday, I would probably do the same.

 

What do you think about this couple's actions?

Edited August 2, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Marblehead]

Well, my understanding of Taoist Philosophy suggests to me that I should not take my own life or the life of anyone else. However, I know that when I reach the condition of departure I know I will not allow myself to be connected to a bunch of tube and electronic equipment in order to keep me alive.

 

However, As I do believe in choice and free will I could never deny a person the right to take their own life or even perform an act as described above.

 

Peace & Love!

[DalTheJigsaw123]

Well, my understanding of Taoist Philosophy suggests to me that I should not take my own life or the life of anyone else. However, I know that when I reach the condition of departure I know I will not allow myself to be connected to a bunch of tube and electronic equipment in order to keep me alive.

 

However, As I do believe in choice and free will I could never deny a person the right to take their own life or even perform an act as described above.

 

Peace & Love!

 

 

Wow!

Thanks for sharing.

I agree with Marblehead!

Thanks for sharing once again.