Laughing about jokes of unpleasant people

[Owledge]

I had an interesting experience at a political speech I attended. The speaker was preaching and spewing out his own superficial opinions and rantings all the time, not even caring that he totally left the intended topic of the speech. A real catastrophy, and not the first Prof. Dr. Dr. h.c. that disappointed me like that.

Next to me sat a lady who made it bearable. She had quite the same view on the political matters as I have, so we could quietly make humorous cynical comments. She was bored to death just like I was, but still kinda following the speech, and what surprised me a bit was that she still laughed about the speaker's lame little jokes, while I didn't really follow his speech anymore, because it made no sense to me, and just sat calmly and smiled.

Even if you say that she laughed because she was still following the speech, then...

1) why DID she follow the speech if she expressed to me how lame and boring the whole speech was?

2) even if I had followed every word of it, I wouldn't have been in the mood for laughing about his jokes, because his whole presentation pretty much ruined it for me.

 

How do you interpret this 'phenomenon'; my behavior which from past experiences I perceive as natural, and the woman's behavior that piqued my curiosity.

 

I'm especially wondering about this in view of what Drew Hempel recently wrote about people stealing energy and all that. Was the women vulnerable of getting her energy stolen, because her mind didn't block those attempts of leeching through inducing laughter?

Edited August 14, 2010 by Hardyg

[Marblehead]

Laughter is generated by many different psychological states. I will not attempt to answer you question but it might be possible that the lady just needed to release some tension and this was a good way to do that.

 

I will watch this thread though as your question is worthy of discussion.

 

Peace & Love!

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

You've always seemed a bit dry here on the taobums, maybe it's your sense of humor that needs goosing?

Edited August 14, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

So humours' 'out' now is it?

 

No more jokes as it's a form of leaching!

 

Honestly, all this energy leaching stuff gets a bit silly after a while. Next you're gonna be telling me having sex is a form of leaching(oh yeah, that's right, it is!).

 

Actually, I won't disagree that perhaps it is. But really, I think the point may have been missed, people enjoy laughing, and people enjoy sex. Or at least I do anyway. I can't speak for Drew or anyone else. Seems to me these two examples show an exchange and not a one way 'leaching'; quite different from one of Drews 'the girl started bouncing her legs in McDonalds trying to steal my yang' type of things, that would be a leach without benefit to him, unless she decided to give him a bite of her burger.

 

Just so there is no one around her feeling guilty about stealing my energy because they made me laugh, let me make it perfectly clear that I think it's a fair exchange! You joke, I laugh, you get some energy.... luckily there is an unlimited supply of energy, so I think I can spare it!

 

How about if I told you you come from a dimension where that feeling that rises within when you laugh is a constant, without an actual joke having been told. Would that be regarded as a 'universal leach'? Personally I regard laughter, and orgasm for that matter, as a temporary 'return' to the divine state. Anyone who wants to help me 'return', all be it briefly, is very welcome to help me do so...especially in the case of orgasm I might add

 

Apologies for any energy I may have stolen over the course of this post.

[Owledge]

@Ninpo...

The leeching thing was only an added thought. Anybody have thoughts about the psychological level of this?

I mean, I could theorize that it's a sign of being easily manipulable. Like a politician who constantly talks to his constituency about unpopular, appalling, radical ideas and then he gets it and only tells them nice things and gets elected with a huge majority.

 

I mean... if you were sitting at a press dinner and George W. Bush would tell a cheesy joke, would you laugh?

Personally, when I laugh about something someone says, it's not only the humorous story, but there needs to be a kind of emotional connection to make it enjoyable. This is why laughter can be contagious: No joke there. Because... everybody can research a good joke and tell it to an audience to inflate his own ego, and this might have been the case back then. I'm not sure because as I said I didn't pay close attention. Jokes can be mere rhetorics, used as a tool for personal advantage, and I tend to notice that. ... Not that it's difficult to notice.

[Taomeow]

You are onto something, Hardyg. A number of years ago, when I started working on myself and getting rid of all the "energy outsourcing I hadn't approved of" and "free riders on my life force I hand't invited,"

 

one of the first things that happened naturally, not as an outcome of any "decision," was that I STOPPED laughing at lame jokes of people I found unpleasant; I stopped smiling "politely" in situations where you're expected to regardless of whether you're feeling pleasure (my smile is a spontaneous indicator of the fact that I'm experiencing pleasure, not a sign that I'm willing to abuse my facial muscles into a surface imitation of a feeling that is the opposite of the one I feel inside). It was all about energy conservation.

 

Energy is not so much "stolen" as "squandered" in acts and/or non-acts that are contingent for their performance or suppression on discrepancies between what the mind thinks, what the heart feels, and what the body is doing. This is a tremendous abyss into which most of our energy disappears on a daily basis. Why is it so energy-consuming to run these discrepancies?.. The difference between running with the wind and running against a brick wall is, energetically speaking, the difference between expressing externally exactly what you feel vs. expressing externally what you are expected/encouraged/blackmailed/threatened/shamed into feeling. Imagine the wind as blowing inside you, if you run with it you just float effortlessly... Now imagine the brick wall you're forced to run into also inside you... you have to put on a show of running (with someone else's wind) while inside, you're beating yourself into a bloody pulp in order to "run" where you're told/expected to/conditioned to. Which process expends more energy?..

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

 

@Ninpo...

 

The leeching thing was only an added thought.

 

 

Fair enough.

 

So let the jokes begin!!!

 

Don't worry, I'm not serious, I think Taomeow is onto something.

[TheWhiteRabbit]

I like to think I have had some fair share of being on either end of what we are talking about. I know I have been unpleasant to some and even told jokes to people who found them unsavory. I know I have also been on the recieving end of it a lot. I reached a point where I just spoke my mind and made a lot of enemies. In the end, I am not proud to admit it but I found myself with only a few close friends and most of the time alone.

 

Now im not saying this so you can feel sad about it or feel bad. We all need people to survive. As I have learned from a friend recently, sometimes it is good not to burn bridges. The potential is always there that if you help that particular person they could help you later.

 

I know ive been very angry for a long time, and thought nothing of hurting people. I think when it comes down to it, eventually I have seen the consequences. It isnt fun to go to the store and talk to someone you knew 10 years ago and they totally blow you off because you are inconsiderate. It was a real eye opener for me early last year.

[Birch]

"We all need people to survive."

 

What do you mean, exactly?

[joeblast]

Funny's funny. If its funny, I'll laugh, even if I'm the butt of the joke

[TheWhiteRabbit]

"We all need people to survive."

 

What do you mean, exactly?

 

We might have things that come up from time to time in our life. Meaning that even if we are resourceful and able to pull a lot of MacGyverisms off we still need people. Even if the great majority of people may not agree with us, it doesnt help to make them angry with us. No, them being angry doesnt hurt our well being or anything like that but if we ever do need assistance with something that we dont know about and we blew up they wont help. Why should they help, seeing as we chose to prove them wrong.

 

On some level we as people also need people to benchmark our lives subconsciously. Some may be more conceited and not, or feel they are always above others consciously, but on some subconscious level we all relate on a "peer" level. I am not saying to go along with the crowd and be carefree either. To some degree it seems that we relate to all people and need some type of psycho-emotional support. However this is really just a part of mankind's nature. Seems that we get along better than when we prove that we are right and/or "shoot other people down" with our firey words. Meaning of shooting others down meaning through forms of character assassination or demonization. In a lighter sense it can be even demonizing a practice without the real burden of proof. People readily accept such demonizations without proof because of certain subconscious reasons. I have been guilty of such in the past also. But those are just examples of what I mean.

 

I used to get very angry too and identify with taomeows words very much. It is not right to keep everything in. For example (again using myself) lets say prior to being on the TaoBums Forum I got into an argument with someone I knew. Pretending to brush off what they were saying each and every time. Eventually I reached a point where I said somthing that made them go on a tangent about their beliefs. Then I totally blew up and was so angry they almost became scared. Its never a good idea to just explode like that. That is why TaoMeow is right about what she wrote.

 

To some measure I have found that you can slightly let go of any frustration or anger then it is not as bad.

 

So anger for me was a reoccuring problem since I discontinued a previous practice unrelated to taoism. Thing that would trigger it were my own anger triggers. Also on the forum, other people being angry triggered this explosive state perhaps through my own anger triggers.

 

Eventually you have to replace what triggers your anger with something else. Which I did.

 

So it may sound like manipulating people, but if you think about it you may see people doing this type of thing all the time. Eventually you may find that it is better to get along rather than persuade people. But it is not my part to convince people of these things.

 

 

Funny's funny. If its funny, I'll laugh, even if I'm the butt of the joke

 

I think JoeBlast's post illustrates this nicely. Why let other people think deep down you have bad blood with them? No one is going to be straight up with you all the time. He is right about doing that.

 

As an example, and I wouldnt do this so lets just play along OK? I think I know Joe enough to use this as an example. Okay here it goes:

Now I wouldnt say, hey JoeBlast check Nutts before you post, Easy does it. I also wouldnt post a video Easy-E 'real utha uckin G's' in response.

 

The reason why I wouldnt is because when you get angry with someone, every time you see someone it has the tendancy to keep it going. Eventually you have to change the trigger patterns or you get yourself into a nice mess. Thanks for helping out with my demonstration. It was one-sided but at least it illustrates the idea.

 

Thankfully my time off the forum has helped me to deeply understand these things. I feel it was to my benefit and have developed many new friendships with people in Taoism since I had left. Now I only get angry when there is a real factual reason, if at all. Now I only stick to the facts. "Could be" arguments don't do it for me anymore.

[Mal]

one of the first things that happened naturally, not as an outcome of any "decision," was that I STOPPED laughing at lame jokes of people I found unpleasant; I stopped smiling "politely" in situations where you're expected to regardless of whether you're feeling pleasure (my smile is a spontaneous indicator of the fact that I'm experiencing pleasure, not a sign that I'm willing to abuse my facial muscles into a surface imitation of a feeling that is the opposite of the one I feel inside). It was all about energy conservation.

 

It does cost energy, but I still tend to go with the general flow. I prefer to be a and not stand out. Although I'm becoming less concerned about being stealthy about my weirdness as I age As a child being an outsider was terrible, lots of effort spent to "fit in"

[TheWhiteRabbit]

It does cost energy, but I still tend to go with the general flow. I prefer to be a and not stand out. Although I'm becoming less concerned about being stealthy about my weirdness as I age As a child being an outsider was terrible, lots of effort spent to "fit in"

 

i think ive become less defensive. How about you, do you think youve become more or less defensive?

 

peace

[buscon]

You are onto something, Hardyg. A number of years ago, when I started working on myself and getting rid of all the "energy outsourcing I hadn't approved of" and "free riders on my life force I hand't invited,"

 

one of the first things that happened naturally, not as an outcome of any "decision," was that I STOPPED laughing at lame jokes of people I found unpleasant; I stopped smiling "politely" in situations where you're expected to regardless of whether you're feeling pleasure (my smile is a spontaneous indicator of the fact that I'm experiencing pleasure, not a sign that I'm willing to abuse my facial muscles into a surface imitation of a feeling that is the opposite of the one I feel inside). It was all about energy conservation.

 

Energy is not so much "stolen" as "squandered" in acts and/or non-acts that are contingent for their performance or suppression on discrepancies between what the mind thinks, what the heart feels, and what the body is doing. This is a tremendous abyss into which most of our energy disappears on a daily basis. Why is it so energy-consuming to run these discrepancies?.. The difference between running with the wind and running against a brick wall is, energetically speaking, the difference between expressing externally exactly what you feel vs. expressing externally what you are expected/encouraged/blackmailed/threatened/shamed into feeling. Imagine the wind as blowing inside you, if you run with it you just float effortlessly... Now imagine the brick wall you're forced to run into also inside you... you have to put on a show of running (with someone else's wind) while inside, you're beating yourself into a bloody pulp in order to "run" where you're told/expected to/conditioned to. Which process expends more energy?..

 

Great description of the situation.

That's exactly what I'm work on, and for me it's quite difficult, because I'm a happy guy, but in some situation I just laught too much: it's just about energy conservation, as you said.

 

Anyway it's not easy to reconfigure yourself, and I don't wanna stop doing it, just reduce it to the right situation.

As always, it takes time, effort and practice

[Owledge]

Buscon. I think it is better to laugh at nothing in particular than at jokes with an agenda. Because of course the questionable thing is not the feeling, but the agenda.

[TheWhiteRabbit]

Buscon. I think it is better to laugh at nothing in particular than at jokes with an agenda. Because of course the questionable thing is not the feeling, but the agenda.

 

It does leave a bad taste in my mouth. I agree.