She wants me to cum

[jago25_98]

I don't conserve jing only for spiritual gain...

 

it's just that now, for me to cum, it really drains me. Physically, mentally and... stagnates me spiritually.

 

It's not about achieving greatness. It's just that the next day after sex I'm in a fog, I am not feeling life, I am a ghost not fully appreciating what is going on around me.

 

Compare this to not having cum for a while... and keeping control of sexual urges by letting go and Micro/Macrocosmic orbit that starts up naturally, I feel alive, able to make more influence on the world... able to think clearly, my imagniation stronger and able to convert those imaginations to reality. I feel normal.

 

However, I am with a woman. She's good for my soul, inner smile, happiness.

However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

 

But I would like to hear how others approach this subject.

[RiverSnake]

All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

I agree with the above statement.

 

-On top of that i'd explain to your companion the various health reasons that you mentioned above (if you haven't already) and how you still orgasm even though you don't cum and enjoy you're time together.

 

-When a man doesn't cum women may take as a sign there not doing something right and that can hurt her self esteem. Might also want to suggest to your chick some Taoist literature on sex so she can better understand your perspective.

 

-This is how i would personally handle the situation, however, you must do what resonates with you.

[Maddie]

Yea I have run into this also. In the case of my wife she had the same attitude at first, but when she began to see that with out ejaculation that things lasted much longer and she got to have more fun, then she was not so much against it as before.

[voidisyinyang]

I don't conserve jing only for spiritual gain...

 

it's just that now, for me to cum, it really drains me. Physically, mentally and... stagnates me spiritually.

 

It's not about achieving greatness. It's just that the next day after sex I'm in a fog, I am not feeling life, I am a ghost not fully appreciating what is going on around me.

 

Compare this to not having cum for a while... and keeping control of sexual urges by letting go and Micro/Macrocosmic orbit that starts up naturally, I feel alive, able to make more influence on the world... able to think clearly, my imagniation stronger and able to convert those imaginations to reality. I feel normal.

 

However, I am with a woman. She's good for my soul, inner smile, happiness.

However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

 

But I would like to hear how others approach this subject.

 

 

The chi is what gives females climaxes -- and the focus of the training is to create chi. So females need the chi energy -- and the trick is to transmit the chi to the female. Then you get the female's jing energy.

 

You convert jing into chi -- just sit in full lotus. Full lotus is the quickest and really only effective means to turn jing into chi.

 

Then if you learn to transmit chi into females -- you can have as many climaxes as you want!!

 

The West is brainwashed to think celibacy means no sex -- celibacy means MORE SEX!!

 

Learn to climax internally and the world is your oyster.

[Vajrahridaya]

Full lotus is the quickest and really only effective means to turn jing into chi.

 

No, it is far from the only effective means. One can do it standing, laying down, during sex, playing dominoes, driving a car, sitting on a turtle, for someone with sufficient kundalini experience that is. But, the full lotus is the quickest.

[ShaktiMama]

The chi is what gives females climaxes -- and the focus of the training is to create chi. So females need the chi energy -- and the trick is to transmit the chi to the female. Then you get the female's jing energy.

 

You convert jing into chi -- just sit in full lotus. Full lotus is the quickest and really only effective means to turn jing into chi.

 

Then if you learn to transmit chi into females -- you can have as many climaxes as you want!!

 

The West is brainwashed to think celibacy means no sex -- celibacy means MORE SEX!!

 

Learn to climax internally and the world is your oyster.

 

 

Women are not dependent on males for climaxes. That is just one way.

 

Learn to injaculate sexual energy, not ejaculate sexual energy. This will turn jing into chi and then into shen. We do it all the time in our KAP training.

 

 

s

[ShaktiMama]

I don't conserve jing only for spiritual gain...

 

it's just that now, for me to cum, it really drains me. Physically, mentally and... stagnates me spiritually.

 

It's not about achieving greatness. It's just that the next day after sex I'm in a fog, I am not feeling life, I am a ghost not fully appreciating what is going on around me.

 

Compare this to not having cum for a while... and keeping control of sexual urges by letting go and Micro/Macrocosmic orbit that starts up naturally, I feel alive, able to make more influence on the world... able to think clearly, my imagniation stronger and able to convert those imaginations to reality. I feel normal.

 

However, I am with a woman. She's good for my soul, inner smile, happiness.

However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

 

But I would like to hear how others approach this subject.

 

 

You can, with practice, pull the energy of the sperm and reabsorb the energy and then ejaculate the fluid. It takes practice. But, if your woman really cares for you, she will understand. There are other ways to receive love besides ejaculation. Good thought...you can only love others authentically when you love yourself first. That is a difficult lesson to learn so good on you.

 

Love is never, ever lost. If it was, was it really love?

 

s

[Vajrahridaya]

You can, with practice, pull the energy of the sperm and reabsorb the energy and then ejaculate the fluid. It takes practice.

 

s

 

Eggggzactly. It does take practice though. I practiced very intensely for hours upon hours per day for a while there, with and without partners. At first it takes intense focus as you are re-wiring your energy body and brain. After you learn how to do it, it becomes automatic. Like I've said before, I wake up and get clarity through orgasm rather than the previous feelings I used to get of muddy dross. I used to feel that next day hangover from ejaculation, but not anymore. In fact. If I'm tired in the morning before work, but I have to get up... I grab my partner, seduce her, make love, focus on the bottom tip of my spine, draw the energy up, call back, call back, breeeeeeaaaaath, repeat mantras, call back, as in pull back... absorb within, then release the waste... and zoooom, I'm ready for my day!

Edited August 25, 2010 by Vajrahridaya

[Gaelicrock]

You can, with practice, pull the energy of the sperm and reabsorb the energy and then ejaculate the fluid. It takes practice. But, if your woman really cares for you, she will understand. There are other ways to receive love besides ejaculation. Good thought...you can only love others authentically when you love yourself first. That is a difficult lesson to learn so good on you.

 

Love is never, ever lost. If it was, was it really love?

 

s

 

I do not have sex with my girlfriend, because she is not of age, and honestly I think vaginas are gross. Like, I fainted in health class, lol.

 

However, we do dry humping and such, lol, laugh if you will.

 

The problem is, the burst of hormonal imbalance causes problems for me, including eyesight problems and chin acne.

 

So, I am a little hesitant about praticing this ejaculating the fluid while concerving the energy.

 

Is this practicable while simply masturbating? I have increased my ability to delay the ejaculation.

[Vajrahridaya]

 

Is this practicable while simply masturbating? I have increased my ability to delay the ejaculation.

 

Yes, but you have to subvert external lust through mantra, and internalized intention and contemplation of the energy as divine, otherwise you are just suppressing yourself. A real transformation has to happen. You can use the external as a starting point, but you have to take that energy and focus on the energy itself, turning it into an inner offering rather than an external lusting.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

 

Love is never, ever lost. If it was, was it really love?

 

s

 

You mean romantic love??? ha ha ha!!! :lol:

 

 

This one's for you, ShaktiMama!

 

Edited August 25, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Mal]

[ShaktiMama]

[Gerard]

...However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others...

 

Certainly it is YOU the most important part of your existence and as a result you shouldn't be tied to anyone's "selfish/emotionally needy/vampiric" desires. I would leave that person without any hesitation if that is what needs to be done.

 

Remember that in the end we are all alone. Alone you were "thrown" into this world and alone you will depart.

 

I hope you make the correct decision.

 

Good luck.

Edited August 25, 2010 by durkhrod chogori

[de_paradise]

To Shakti Mama: How does one know when one has succeeded in reabsorbing the jing?

 

OP:

 

If your gf is a typical woman, she gets her attitudes about love and sex from contemporary books, films and magazines, and then cements them with gossiping with her friends.

 

My guess is she probably tolerates your spiritual goals even though they are kooky, having a spiritual boyfriend does rank somewhere as ok in typical female rating system when they gossip with their friends.

 

However Taoism does cross the line from what is normal acceptable behavior, as it is probably written in many books how the moment of greatest surrender to the other is the moment of orgasm, thus the moment of greatest erotic love. So I can see her point, following the typical value system, that doesnt actually really believe in Taoist kookiness to the point of jing and transformation to become an imortal.

 

Mal suggests you can come together and explain it all, but Im sure thats a nearly impossible sell.

 

In my experience, you can draw the line at this no ejaculation, she will neverless have to accept it.

[longrhythm]

Yea I have run into this also. In the case of my wife she had the same attitude at first, but when she began to see that with out ejaculation that things lasted much longer and she got to have more fun, then she was not so much against it as before.

 

 

This is the most down to earth response yet.

 

I've heard the same story from several women too- I always refer back to something Chia wrote, paraphrasing, about how in some couples the jizz becomes like a football on the playing field, and she'll fight to "win" it. I actually like when a girl gives me a hard time for not cumming, I get to tease her about it

 

Truth is though, NO woman will continue to complain if you give it to her well and for a long time. There aren't that many other men like us out there that can go for hours and after you wear her out a few times, in my experience, all complaining of any kind ceases to exist.

[hagar]

This situation you are in is pretty much a pseudo-problem.

 

It taxes you much more to be in disharmony with your partner than to lose your jing.

In a natural loving relationship, the exchange of energy between you and your partner is dependent on balance. Do what needs to be done to find that balance and your energy will return.

 

Make love from your heart, and the energy will not be lost. The Jing is in the essential water, not the external fluid. The light is in the heart. The essential water has contains the true fire. The essential fire contains the true water. It is natural and effortless to let them join.

 

If some part of you still hold on to the grosser levels of Jing, sit in the sitting deer position afterwards and you recover much faster.

 

Just my own experience. Took me a while to get it, but it forced me to not be self absorbed and to understand my partner. Which is a good lesson.

Retention will make you self conscious, egoistic and fearful. What you save you will lose. Its a natural law.

 

h

 

Note: I do not imply that those who conserve their Jing are egoistic, self absorbed and fearful. If it comes natural, fine.Intention is everything.

Edited August 25, 2010 by hagar

[Astral_Anima]

Certainly it is YOU the most important part of your existence and as a result you shouldn't be tied to anyone's "selfish/emotionally needy/vampiric" desires. I would leave that person without any hesitation if that is what needs to be done.

 

Remember that in the end we are all alone. Alone you were "thrown" into this world and alone you will depart.

 

I hope you make the correct decision.

 

Good luck.

 

I tend to agree with this. Wanting what's best for your partner = love. Wanting your partner to ejaculate because it gets you off and boosts your ego = lust. DONT GET THESE CONFUSED. Many energy vamps would LOVE for you to ejaculate all over them endlessly until you shriveled up and died, u think that's love?

 

If she truly LOVES you, try to educate her how what you're doing is for self-betterment. Explain to her how you feel after ejaculating and tell her it drains you and you don't like how it feels. If she insists that you continue, after hearing that, then she doesn't care about you or how you feel, she's just trying to boost her ego and energy at your expense; she's a parasite and must be gotten rid of or healed. This is the reality. I may sound harsh in this matter but unless you can heal whatever imbalance caused her to be that way then there's nothing you can do and must further your development.

 

Do a priority check, ask the tough questions, make the right choices, you'll be fine

[ShaktiMama]

To Shakti Mama: How does one know when one has succeeded in reabsorbing the jing?

 

 

 

As women can do this too by pulling the energy off the ovaries and injaculation back into the body....the first word is aaaaaah. It feels great.

 

Long term, diligent practice means the body starts to rejuvinate itself. One starts to look younger, feel even more sexier and alive, the brain clearer. Sexual energy is so healing to the organs, the whole body. Cultivation is easier. There is an increased connectedness feeling with Nature and others. The heart softens. This is a solitary or couple practice or can be done long distance. For men, one of the concrete ways you know you are doing it right is that your skin can smell like ejaculate.

 

Google red deer exercises for men and women for more kinds of basic info on this kind of practice.

 

Speaking just from my own experiences if I have a weekend of constant sex but with no injaculation or circulation I get what I call an energy hangover. It's kind of " i can't believe i ate the whole thing" kinda feeling. I should have pushed myself away from the table much earlier. Overindulgence in energy, my own and my partner's. My body is overly sensitized to feeling energy and it feels like I am swimming through an ocean in slow motion.

 

Like V wrote:

I wake up and get clarity through orgasm rather than the previous feelings I used to get of muddy dross. I used to feel that next day hangover from ejaculation, but not anymore. In fact. If I'm tired in the morning before work, but I have to get up... I grab my partner, seduce her, make love, focus on the bottom tip of my spine, draw the energy up, call back, call back, breeeeeeaaaaath, repeat mantras, call back, as in pull back... absorb within, then release the waste... and zoooom, I'm ready for my day!

 

It does take diligent practice probably more so for men than for women.

 

With injaculation I can sit at the table for days, eat to my heart's content, and share liberally with my partner. One can sit for hours in yab yum in total ecstasy where hours feel like minutes in a meditative state. My partner feels like he can conquer and rule the world because he feels so strong and energized. His meditation and cultivation practice becomes deeper and more sustained. One clue that we hit the sweet spot in injaculation cultivation is he likes to drive real fast afterwards. lol.

 

 

s

[metal dog]

If your gf is a typical woman, she gets her attitudes about love and sex from contemporary books, films and magazines, and then cements them with gossiping with her friends.

 

My guess is she probably tolerates your spiritual goals even though they are kooky, having a spiritual boyfriend does rank somewhere as ok in typical female rating system when they gossip with their friends.

 

My "openers" on getting to really know someone....and determining if I want to know them any further.

Life has taught me from a very young age that it is valuable to really get to know the important details when forming relationships.

I would be a dating website or service's nightmare.

 

If I meet a woman who is too psychologically entrenched into pop, celebrity and the whole fashion-appearance culture...then that is a pass for me. Particularly if they are speaking in that contrived, and still popular, California Valley Girl Yuppie drawl...while using the word "like" more than a thousand times in five minutes.

 

Do you smoke?

Do you drink alcohol? Do you regularly and/or socially meet at places that serve alcohol like bars, clubs, etc?

Have you ever been addicted to alcohol and attended any type of rehab or AA for treatment?

Do you do recreational drugs?

Do you take prescription drugs?

Do you take anti-depressant or any type of psychotropic drugs? If yes, to any of these, which drugs, amounts and for how long?

Are you currently seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Have you ever had hypnotherapy treatments?

Do you have any physical ailments, illnesses, diseases, handicaps, special health considerations and/or impairments? Family history of disease?

Have you had any surgeries? Plastic surgery?

Have you ever been arrested or the subject of a criminal investigation as the main suspect for a crime?

What age did you first have sex? Were you earlier sexual experiences and relationships good ones?

How many sexual partners have you had? What was your longest relationship? Have you ever lived with anyone? Elaborate.

Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases? Do you currently have any sexually transmitted diseases?

Have you recently been tested for sexually transmitted diseases? Results?

What kind of sex have you or do you participate? What do you like and dislike? What is your history and present consideration with multiple partners and monogamy? Have you ever or do you do...anal? What do you not like about sex?

Are you currently or have you ever been married?

Do you have any children?

Have you ever had an abortion? If yes, how many?

Have you ever been assaulted, sexually assaulted, molested and/or raped? Please elaborate thoroughly.

Have you ever prostituted yourself or bought sex?

Have you ever been involved in a cult or involved in ritual abuse?

Are you religious? If yes, which religion or beliefs do you practice and/or profess?

Are you an active member of your religious group in any way? Bible study, church, public service, meetings, etc.? If yes, please list and clarify.

What are your political views and affiliations? Are you currently politically active?

Do you watch television and movies? How many hours a week do you view these? Which movies and shows do you watch?

What kind of music do you like?

What type of education do you have?

What types of jobs have you held in the past and currently have?

What type of salary do you currently make?

What is your life's dream as to what you would like to do with your life and/or provide to the world?

Are you in financial debt? How much debt?

Do you like to shop? What kind of spending habits do you have? Frugal, moderate, big spender? Are you "trendy" and into the "latest" must-haves?

Are your mother and father still living? Do you currently live with them or one of them? Are they married or divorced? When were they divorced, how old were you when they were divorced, and what were the circumstances?

What are your personal philosophies on life in general and how the world works? Regarding family, friends, associates, close personal relationships, etc.?

What kinds of food do you like to eat? Do you like to cook?

What are your interests and hobbies?

Do you have pets?

 

Depending on the person, a no answer or an answer that does not resonate with me very well can be all that is needed for instant downgrade from potential sex partner to an association.

 

I know, I know. It can seem cold and calculated, but I assure you that it is done with great depth, understanding, nurturing and humanity.

But...I am also looking out for myself in life and my best interests. Relationships can be risks. And risks can bring about losses of time, energy, effort, emotions, money, well-being, etc.

I ask no more from another, nor set a standard, that I don't already expect and exemplify within myself.

 

Jeeez, after all these and a few other considerations I haven't even gotten around to jumping someone's bones yet...much less injaculating.

But I am no pussy hound and not a slave to my desires either, or one who uses others as a friction device without due consideration of who they really are.

And as healthy male who has been described as above average looks and attractiveness...my lack of interest in most women, who are poised for the mounting, are left...confused and bewildered...yet wanting even more of what they cannot ensnare.

Edited August 25, 2010 by metal dog

[ShaktiMama]

 

(snip)

 

Jeeez, I haven't even gotten around to jumping someone's bones yet...much less injaculating.

 

look for harmony between your energies first...then, if you still feel like it, start the FBI investigation.

 

You can injaculate when you masturbate or you can injaculate any sexual feeling.

 

Good luck,

s

[buscon]

 

Google red deer exercises for men and women for more kinds of basic info on this kind of practice.

 

 

red deer exercises ?

I can't find any...

[metal dog]

Fortunately, I found one that fit the bill some time ago and started a family.

 

I had to leave the U.S. and search outside of the all metro-sexual populations, domestic and foreign.

I meditated on the prospect of a partner for about six weeks...and the goddess then appeared before me.

I find if I sit long enough and think about what I may need or even want in vivid detail...that it tends to just flow to me in a short time quite magically. But there has to be a necessity and a passion for it..something extravagant or beyond some practicality does not always manifest so easily. Perhaps that which I think is good for me...but may not be...says the higher self...or guardian angel.

 

But when I was or were to be single again...I would probably be left stroking...solo.

Just because my standards are so high, or perhaps so many have "disqualifiers" that I have learned not to compromise upon. (Jeez...I sound like a woman)

 

I think it is the 22 years of doing massage and bodywork on...oh...perhaps over 40,000 professional sessions that I have been able to project myself into the bodies and minds of others in a kinesthetic sense that has gifted me with such sensual and sexual awareness and prowess. Not that I am sexual with clients, but the sensuality of the work and the "knowing" of how something feels to another in terms of sensitivity and such...adds a nice element.

 

I was fortunate to have a mother who bought me a mature library of books at an early age about sex and eastern methods-energy practices. But it was not comfortable for most young women my own age to show an interest in these topics.

So my desires turned toward the wisdom of older women...and my, am I thankful for their tutelage. And it was not long before I was their teacher...experiencing wonders beyond imagination, but not with an egotistical satisfaction...but just an ecstatic buzz beyond description for all involved.

Yummy...

Edited August 25, 2010 by metal dog

[ShaktiMama]

red deer exercises ?

I can't find any...

 

 

http://www.nine3.com/DeerMan.html

 

s

[metal dog]

From my sources they all seem to agree that it is best for the man not to ejaculate, but that perhaps for the female this is just fine and is encouraged to happen often...or as much as possible.

 

Would you say this is beneficial for a woman experiencing multiple ejaculatory orgasms?

Or is it good for her to retain in some respect for her own energy cultivation?

Edited August 25, 2010 by metal dog