She wants me to cum

[Enishi]

Investigative work and firm rules are necessary, although I have found that a person's history doesn't always reflect their current energy state.

 

Their current interests and behavior are a definite disqualifier though if it strays into typical American style dysfunction of anti-depressants, heavy drug use and materialist narcissism. It's also a disqualifier if they require badboy behavior, choking, heavy biting, tattoos, piercings, beating and other neurotic fetishes in order to feel attracted to you or reach orgasm. Fishing outside the USA was necessary in my regard as well.

[WallaMike]

This situation you are in is pretty much a pseudo-problem.

 

It taxes you much more to be in disharmony with your partner than to lose your jing.

In a natural loving relationship, the exchange of energy between you and your partner is dependent on balance. Do what needs to be done to find that balance and your energy will return.

 

Make love from your heart, and the energy will not be lost. The Jing is in the essential water, not the external fluid. The light is in the heart. The essential water has contains the true fire. The essential fire contains the true water. It is natural and effortless to let them join.

 

If some part of you still hold on to the grosser levels of Jing, sit in the sitting deer position afterwards and you recover much faster.

 

Just my own experience. Took me a while to get it, but it forced me to not be self absorbed and to understand my partner. Which is a good lesson.

Retention will make you self conscious, egoistic and fearful. What you save you will lose. Its a natural law.

 

h

 

Note: I do not imply that those who conserve their Jing are egoistic, self absorbed and fearful. If it comes natural, fine.Intention is everything.

 

 

 

If I'm interpreting what Hagar is saying, I agree with him and think he has a good point, but I would like to make it a little more concrete. I apologize if I'm mis-intepreting what he's saying and if so take responsibility for my statement on my own.

 

There appear to be two views on male ejaculation in Taoism, with the majority saying no physical ejaculation. However, there is a smaller group that says it is ok for males to ejaculate. So, why the difference?

 

I happen to be in the second group and the way my teacher explains the difference is that it depends upon where a person is getting their energy. If a person gets if from the physical aspect of jing, then retention is needed. If not, then it is not needed. I'm relatively new in this particular practice, but as far as I can determine, in this group we pull down heaven and pull up earth energy to fill us up and store it in areas that don't necessarily correspond to physical areas. So, in connecting to a different source and running it in non-physical areas, we don't have to worry so much about male ejaculation. However, being new at this, I still do notice a difference if I do or not, but think at least part is due to that I'm not very good at my new practice yet.

 

I also suspect that in the two groups, there are probably different goals relating to longivity, "immortality", etc. Thus, once again, I think this is a conundrum, not a contradiction. It used to make me crazy, but once I reached a certain level of knowledge and quit being so concrete in my interpretations, it got a lot easier...but still not easy!

[Enishi]

Learning how to injaculate is easier at first IMO when by yourself. I find it to be much harder when with a person, heavily aroused and in the heat of the moment.

[WallaMike]

http://www.nine3.com/DeerMan.html

 

s

 

 

Thanks Shaktimama, you rock!

[gendao]

Do you smoke?

Do you drink alcohol? Do you regularly and/or socially meet at places that serve alcohol like bars, clubs, etc?

Have you ever been addicted to alcohol and attended any type of rehab or AA for treatment?

Do you do recreational drugs?

Do you take prescription drugs?

Do you take anti-depressant or any type of psychotropic drugs? If yes, to any of these, which drugs, amounts and for how long?

Are you currently seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Have you ever had hypnotherapy treatments?

Do you have any physical ailments, illnesses, diseases, handicaps, special health considerations and/or impairments? Family history of disease?

Have you had any surgeries? Plastic surgery?

Have you ever been arrested or the subject of a criminal investigation as the main suspect for a crime?

What age did you first have sex? Were you earlier sexual experiences and relationships good ones?

How many sexual partners have you had? What was your longest relationship? Have you ever lived with anyone? Elaborate.

Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases? Do you currently have any sexually transmitted diseases?

Have you recently been tested for sexually transmitted diseases? Results?

What kind of sex have you or do you participate? What do you like and dislike? What is your history and present consideration with multiple partners and monogamy? Have you ever or do you do...anal? What do you not like about sex?

Are you currently or have you ever been married?

Do you have any children?

Have you ever had an abortion? If yes, how many?

Have you ever been assaulted, sexually assaulted, molested and/or raped? Please elaborate thoroughly.

Have you ever prostituted yourself or bought sex?

Have you ever been involved in a cult or involved in ritual abuse?

Are you religious? If yes, which religion or beliefs do you practice and/or profess?

Are you an active member of your religious group in any way? Bible study, church, public service, meetings, etc.? If yes, please list and clarify.

What are your political views and affiliations? Are you currently politically active?

Do you watch television and movies? How many hours a week do you view these? Which movies and shows do you watch?

What kind of music do you like?

What type of education do you have?

What types of jobs have you held in the past and currently have?

What type of salary do you currently make?

What is your life's dream as to what you would like to do with your life and/or provide to the world?

Are you in financial debt? How much debt?

Do you like to shop? What kind of spending habits do you have? Frugal, moderate, big spender? Are you "trendy" and into the "latest" must-haves?

Are your mother and father still living? Do you currently live with them or one of them? Are they married or divorced? When were they divorced, how old were you when they were divorced, and what were the circumstances?

What are your personal philosophies on life in general and how the world works? Regarding family, friends, associates, close personal relationships, etc.?

What kinds of food do you like to eat? Do you like to cook?

What are your interests and hobbies?

Do you have pets?

 

Depending on the person, a no answer or an answer that does not resonate with me very well can be all that is needed for instant downgrade from potential sex partner to an association.

 

I know, I know. It can seem cold and calculated, but I assure you that it is done with great depth, understanding, nurturing and humanity.

But...I am also looking out for myself in life and my best interests. Relationships can be risks. And risks can bring about losses of time, energy, effort, emotions, money, well-being, etc.

I ask no more from another, nor set a standard, that I don't already expect and exemplify within myself.

 

Jeeez, after all these and a few other considerations I haven't even gotten around to jumping someone's bones yet...much less injaculating.

But I am no pussy hound and not a slave to my desires either, or one who uses others as a friction device without due consideration of who they really are.

And as healthy male who has been described as above average looks and attractiveness...my lack of interest in most women, who are poised for the mounting, are left...confused and bewildered...yet wanting even more of what they cannot ensnare.

GREAT LIST! Unfortunately, in the post-feminist "Girls Gone Wild" age - very, very, VERY few American girls would pass that checklist! As in, I don't think I've been able to date one YET who has!

 

Which is probably why I'm still sadly single!

 

In the meantime, I'm just cultivating and trying to remain celibate. It's ok, at least it beats worrying about the inevitable skeleton parade out of the closet whenever I meet someone new these days!

Fortunately, I found one that fit the bill some time ago and started a family.

 

I had to leave the U.S. and search outside of the all metro-sexual populations, domestic and foreign.

Interesting, what area did you finally find one in? Outsourcing here may turn out to be the best option these days..

Their current interests and behavior are a definite disqualifier though if it strays into typical American style dysfunction of anti-depressants, heavy drug use and materialist narcissism. It's also a disqualifier if they require badboy behavior, choking, heavy biting, tattoos, piercings, beating and other neurotic fetishes in order to feel attracted to you or reach orgasm. Fishing outside the USA was necessary in my regard as well.

And you? From my own global travels, it definitely seems as if the Anglosphere is the Ground Zero of feminist dysfunctional behavior. And anywhere outside of that (say EU or Asia) was markedly better. Edited August 25, 2010 by vortex

[Aetherous]

Do you smoke?

Do you drink alcohol? Do you regularly and/or socially meet at places that serve alcohol like bars, clubs, etc?

Have you ever been addicted to alcohol and attended any type of rehab or AA for treatment?

Do you do recreational drugs?

Do you take prescription drugs?

Do you take anti-depressant or any type of psychotropic drugs? If yes, to any of these, which drugs, amounts and for how long?

Are you currently seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Have you ever had hypnotherapy treatments?

Do you have any physical ailments, illnesses, diseases, handicaps, special health considerations and/or impairments? Family history of disease?

Have you had any surgeries? Plastic surgery?

Have you ever been arrested or the subject of a criminal investigation as the main suspect for a crime?

What age did you first have sex? Were you earlier sexual experiences and relationships good ones?

How many sexual partners have you had? What was your longest relationship? Have you ever lived with anyone? Elaborate.

Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases? Do you currently have any sexually transmitted diseases?

Have you recently been tested for sexually transmitted diseases? Results?

What kind of sex have you or do you participate? What do you like and dislike? What is your history and present consideration with multiple partners and monogamy? Have you ever or do you do...anal? What do you not like about sex?

Are you currently or have you ever been married?

Do you have any children?

Have you ever had an abortion? If yes, how many?

Have you ever been assaulted, sexually assaulted, molested and/or raped? Please elaborate thoroughly.

Have you ever prostituted yourself or bought sex?

Have you ever been involved in a cult or involved in ritual abuse?

Are you religious? If yes, which religion or beliefs do you practice and/or profess?

Are you an active member of your religious group in any way? Bible study, church, public service, meetings, etc.? If yes, please list and clarify.

What are your political views and affiliations? Are you currently politically active?

Do you watch television and movies? How many hours a week do you view these? Which movies and shows do you watch?

What kind of music do you like?

What type of education do you have?

What types of jobs have you held in the past and currently have?

What type of salary do you currently make?

What is your life's dream as to what you would like to do with your life and/or provide to the world?

Are you in financial debt? How much debt?

Do you like to shop? What kind of spending habits do you have? Frugal, moderate, big spender? Are you "trendy" and into the "latest" must-haves?

Are your mother and father still living? Do you currently live with them or one of them? Are they married or divorced? When were they divorced, how old were you when they were divorced, and what were the circumstances?

What are your personal philosophies on life in general and how the world works? Regarding family, friends, associates, close personal relationships, etc.?

What kinds of food do you like to eat? Do you like to cook?

What are your interests and hobbies?

Do you have pets?

 

Makes for an informative first date!

[Enishi]

And you? From my own global travels, it definitely seems as if the Anglosphere is the Ground Zero of feminist dysfunctional behavior. And anywhere outside of that (say EU or Asia) was markedly better.

 

I started chatting with a Russian lady on another spiritual forum and visited her earlier this summer. We had a good time together.

 

So far as industrialized nations go, I think that the USA is the capital of self-deluded dysfunctional behavior in general. Other countries in Europe are feminist in their own way, but without the misandric, narcissistic victim complexes.

 

Many of the main problems in the US IMO stem not so much from certain forms of mental dysfunction in of themselves, as they do from a deluded and overly optimistic self appraisal which covers up those flaws. Americans like to think of themselves as NUMBER 1 and the most free, tolerant and friendly people in the world, but oftentimes that tolerance and friendliness is a superficial mask in the case of day to day politeness, or even support of progressive causes as a mask for hatred of "those stupid Fox news watching rednecks".

 

The deluded sense of self-importance, unrealistic optimism and will-to-power thinking also pops up in new age or PUA material.

 

"With JUST confidence and positive thinking, you too can bang supermodels, make a million bucks, cure all your problems and punt skyscrapers!"

 

That kind of nonsense works better in the US than elsewhere because here, people think self-deluded postering = strength.

Edited August 25, 2010 by Enishi

[gendao]

I started chatting with a Russian lady on another spiritual forum and visited her earlier this summer. We had a good time together.

 

So far as industrialized nations go, I think that the USA is the capital of self-deluded dysfunctional behavior in general. Other countries in Europe are feminist in their own way, but without the misandric, narcissistic victim complexes.

 

Many of the main problems in the US IMO stem not so much from certain forms of mental dysfunction in of themselves, as they do from a deluded and overly optimistic self appraisal which covers up those flaws. Americans like to think of themselves as NUMBER 1 and the most free, tolerant and friendly people in the world, but oftentimes that tolerance and friendliness is a superficial mask in the case of day to day politeness, or even support of progressive causes as a mask for hatred of "those stupid Fox news watching rednecks".

 

The deluded sense of self-importance, unrealistic optimism and will-to-power thinking also pops up in new age or PUA material.

 

"With JUST confidence and positive thinking, you too can bang supermodels, make a million bucks, cure all your problems and punt skyscrapers!"

 

That kind of nonsense works better in the US than elsewhere because here, people think self-deluded postering = strength.

Yeah, all too true - I've come to the same conclusions myself.

 

Seriously, I've met complete "10s" (physically & easily passing your entire checklist) overseas within just a few weeks of traveling who were also into me - than I ever met in over 3 decades of living HERE!

 

So, where is this other forum at...?

Edited August 25, 2010 by vortex

[Enishi]

It's a very tiny forum that my friends put together and I moderated on. The old forum is now gone and the new one gets 3 posts per month, lol.

 

Meeting attractive women who are interested you in other countries is very easy. It's not merely a matter of physical looks either, but of the vibe they give off physically and energetically.

 

Personally though I think trying to purposefully look for foreign partners on dating sties is a horrible idea. The ones who WANT to come to the US are quite likely to have an interest in the US culture which I find abhorant, or simply want the better material benefits. Many are also gold diggers. Traveling to other countries oneself is best.

[rain]

I don't conserve jing only for spiritual gain...

 

it's just that now, for me to cum, it really drains me. Physically, mentally and... stagnates me spiritually.

 

It's not about achieving greatness. It's just that the next day after sex I'm in a fog, I am not feeling life, I am a ghost not fully appreciating what is going on around me.

 

Compare this to not having cum for a while... and keeping control of sexual urges by letting go and Micro/Macrocosmic orbit that starts up naturally, I feel alive, able to make more influence on the world... able to think clearly, my imagniation stronger and able to convert those imaginations to reality. I feel normal.

 

However, I am with a woman. She's good for my soul, inner smile, happiness.

However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

 

But I would like to hear how others approach this subject.

 

 

well..

It seems she is still stuck with a world view that does not incorporate yours?

 

I have to smile because I remember having a boyfriend on a diet controlling candida, to me

it seemed like he could eat nothing but tons of ricecrackers and cucumber and he had a strange

habit of hoarding in solitude...and was rather

stingy on his ejaculations to regulate energy. (we were not aware of retention pracise at that time)

I felt rejected, then my feelings towards him changed as I felt he was acting stingy and paranoid

and finally I regarded him utterly selfish unloving and unattractive. He was trying to love himself

yes

but I was totally unforgiving of the way he chose to do this...

 

I was not a good partner and we both knew to little

 

I guess?

 

Now a decade later I have lived celibate for 5 years with a partner that is a hundred times more mature than I

ever was

 

god I love him enough to roll around

 

 

dont shut her off

 

far too many of our responses are automatic

but not supportive energetically

 

sometimes we need space to sort these things out

holding back on something is for lettin something else enter the horizon

I am sure a woman would appreciate this explanation.

Edited August 25, 2010 by rain

[thelerner]

there's always faking it.

[Vajrahridaya]

 

It does take diligent practice probably more so for men than for women.

 

With injaculation I can sit at the table for days, eat to my heart's content, and share liberally with my partner. One can sit for hours in yab yum in total ecstasy where hours feel like minutes in a meditative state. My partner feels like he can conquer and rule the world because he feels so strong and energized. His meditation and cultivation practice becomes deeper and more sustained. One clue that we hit the sweet spot in injaculation cultivation is he likes to drive real fast afterwards. lol.

 

 

s

 

One time as we were sitting in Yab Yum, my partner was licking blue light from my 3rd eye. She was amazed that this was actually happening. Yab Yum is amazing, as it fills the room with this wondrous light. I need to do that version more often me thinks. Thanks for sharing Shaktimama!

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Oh God. All these details. You used to have your and your lady's picture in your avatar for a really long time, so excuse me if I'm feeling a little nauseated reading some of the posts in this thread.

Edited August 26, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Vajrahridaya]

Oh God. All these details. You used to have your and your lady's picture in your avatar for a really long time, so excuse me if i'm feeling a little nauseated.

 

It's not very hard to get you feeling nauseated, annoyed or bothered.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

You, either, my bro! Jeez, you have put up an awful lot of personal stuff on the internet over the various forums, though. That's also why it feels like TMI...no boundaries for Vaj! Whatever floats the big Buddhist boat, as it were.

Edited August 26, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Vajrahridaya]

Whatever floats the Buddhist boat, as it were.

 

[metal dog]

So far as industrialized nations go, I think that the USA is the capital of self-deluded dysfunctional behavior in general. Other countries in Europe are feminist in their own way, but without the misandric, narcissistic victim complexes.

 

Many of the main problems in the US IMO stem not so much from certain forms of mental dysfunction in of themselves, as they do from a deluded and overly optimistic self appraisal which covers up those flaws. Americans like to think of themselves as NUMBER 1 and the most free, tolerant and friendly people in the world, but oftentimes that tolerance and friendliness is a superficial mask in the case of day to day politeness, or even support of progressive causes as a mask for hatred of "those stupid Fox news watching rednecks".

 

The deluded sense of self-importance, unrealistic optimism and will-to-power thinking also pops up in new age or PUA material.

 

"With JUST confidence and positive thinking, you too can bang supermodels, make a million bucks, cure all your problems and punt skyscrapers!"

 

That kind of nonsense works better in the US than elsewhere because here, people think self-deluded postering = strength.

 

Your descriptions of my home country and its inhabitants is quite right in many respects and very well said.

I almost forgot what it was like having left the clusterfuck nation some time ago.

But I still can appreciate these "beings" for the gifts to society their un-sanity bestows upon the world...and lessons to yet be learned or potentials to yet be realized.

Edited August 26, 2010 by metal dog

[markern]

By her this book:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Orgasm-Women-Diana-Richardson/dp/0892811331

 

It will teach her how she also can have an internal climax/valley orgasm as opposed to her normal peak orgasms. She will find these to be much more satisfying. THat will make her understand your situation. And you she will get on the same page as you in terms of how to have sex and the goals of the sex and probably be pulled into spirituality through this.

[markern]

For men, one of the concrete ways you know you are doing it right is that your skin can smell like ejaculate.

 

 

 

 

So how do women respond to men whose skin smells like sperm? Instant hornyness or repulsion?

[metal dog]

How do men respond to women who's skin smells like sperm?

[Mal]

From The Art of Shen Ku - The first intergalactic artform of the entire universe. (fun book)

 

Semen as an Aphrodisiac.

is provenly effective on females when worn by a man dabbed on neck or behind ears & allowed to dry (on man) & then for example dancing cheek to cheek.

 

if someone wants to field test this for me I'd like to know how you go

[ShaktiMama]

 

So how do women respond to men whose skin smells like sperm? Instant hornyness or repulsion?

 

 

never thought of it like that. I like men who smell like men. Not like a perfume but also not like a skunk ape. (everglades sasquatch)

 

I know what sex smells like. I know what the energy feels like when I walk into a room after a couple has made love. But never have I thought about that question.

[Vajrahridaya]

never thought of it like that. I like men who smell like men. Not like a perfume but also not like a skunk ape. (everglades sasquatch)

 

I know what sex smells like. I know what the energy feels like when I walk into a room after a couple has made love. But never have I thought about that question.

 

Sometimes my skin smells like sperm after a long hard day of work, or after intentional sperm retention for elongated periods of time. I guess it's just because it's being reabsorbed into the body. But, I've never smelt a women who's skin smelled like sperm unless it was my lover and we decided to take the day off and bath in each others sexual excretions. HAHA! I know my skin has definitely smelt like female sexual excretions plenty of times in my straight male life.

 

Drew would probably call me a pervert for such things... Which is fine with me!

 

I like you Shaktimama... by the way. Sometimes I think I connect with you and I get really blissful and see blue light everywhere. Thanks for being a great person!

Edited August 28, 2010 by Vajrahridaya

[ShaktiMama]

Sometimes my skin smells like sperm after a long hard day of work, or after intentional sperm retention for elongated periods of time. I guess it's just because it's being reabsorbed into the body. But, I've never smelt a women who's skin smelled like sperm unless it was my lover and we decided to take the day off and bath in each others sexual excretions. HAHA! I know my skin has definitely smelt like female sexual excretions plenty of times in my straight male life.

 

Drew would probably call me a pervert for such things... Which is fine with me!

 

I like you Shaktimama... by the way. Sometimes I think I connect with you and I get really blissful and see blue light everywhere. Thanks for being a great person!

 

Thanks, V. I have had a really tough couple of days and have been feeling my mortality so that hits the spot.

 

Yes, blue light and bliss...love it. And when I connect with you I feel that clear, cooling consciousness which is so enjoyable for a Shakti woman.

 

Pervert? No way unless that makes me a pervert too. Any that I have been with is just totally exultant in the joys of the female body and in what works and produces. No matter how many times I have been with someone I continue to marvel at how much men enjoy the pleasure of all things female. I am fortunate that who I connect with is able to thrill my spirit as well.

 

Long distance bliss and orgasm have its place but so does that which comes from deep intimacy and skin on skin contact. If the soul connection does not happen in either instance I am left wanting and unfulfilled.

 

s

[Vajrahridaya]

 

Long distance bliss and orgasm have its place but so does that which comes from deep intimacy and skin on skin contact. If the soul connection does not happen in either instance I am left wanting and unfulfilled.

 

s

 

Yes, this is very true! Ok... time to cuddle with my wifey and watch some comedy!

 

I'm sure you use Om Namah Shivaya? I have a shawl that says Om Namah Shivaya on it all over and it's yellow that was blessed directly by Swami Muktananda a year or so before he took MahaSamadhi. I use it every time I do my sitting practices. I have a blue wool one blessed by Gurumayi as well. Plus I have a little chunk of carpet one foot by one foot that was in Muktanandas room in Ganeshpuri before they took down his old room back in 95' which I sit on, or put my chanting books on when I chant. It has Om Namah Shivaya vibrating from it. Anyway... I was just going to say Om Namah Shivaya but decided to share more... hehe!

 

Om Namah Shivaya, still one of my favorite mantras even though I mostly use Om Ah Hum now or Om Mani Padme Hum. I sometimes use all 3 at the same time on repeat high speed within my body, running it up and down my spine and during making love with my wife. Actually, without mantra, I can't pull back my ejaculation. It's only through mantra that I'm even able to do this. It's pretty cool! Wonderful trick.

 

My dear... you are a great being. But, I also know these feelings of mortality and residual fears even though I've had so many past life experiences and have had visitations to higher lokas, and beings from higher lokas it's still a nasty and very deeply ingrained samskara that pesters my conscious mind from time to time. Sometimes for an entire day. Like 2 weeks ago, I felt it so intense, that it felt like my body was going to dissolve and I felt the numbness of a heart attack on my left arm. I felt so floaty and vulnerable and I felt like my thoughts were so loud that I was hurting everyone and I felt like every thought or look from people was making my eardrums hurt, just thoughts were making my eardrums hurt and peoples looks at me felt like they were cutting through my entire body. I finally just had to cry in public, good thing I was wearing my shades as to not bring any more attention, but this crying was surrender to the cosmic process and was filled with great spiritual energy. I saw white light everywhere and I felt like my water element was being purified. Anyway... as you know the practices make me more deeply fearless, that's for sure. I just haven't fully died to death yet. I hope before this life is over that I do. As well as you my dear. Remember that every time you experience it, you get a closer view of it's nature, so through contemplation your wisdom should shatter that dream of a mirror... eventually. NOW!!

 

Take care Shaktimama!! I know I probably don't hold a candle to your level of experience and I always feel a little intimidated talking with you. But, I thought I'd share just to let you know that you are not alone!

 

Big fat kiss on your mortality samskaras... may they be healed!