She wants me to cum

[ShaktiMama]

Yes, this is very true! Ok... time to cuddle with my wifey and watch some comedy!

 

I'm sure you use Om Namah Shivaya? I have a shawl that says Om Namah Shivaya on it all over and it's yellow that was blessed directly by Swami Muktananda a year or so before he took MahaSamadhi. I use it every time I do my sitting practices. I have a blue wool one blessed by Gurumayi as well. Plus I have a little chunk of carpet one foot by one foot that was in Muktanandas room in Ganeshpuri before they took down his old room back in 95' which I sit on, or put my chanting books on when I chant. It has Om Namah Shivaya vibrating from it. Anyway... I was just going to say Om Namah Shivaya but decided to share more... hehe!

 

Om Namah Shivaya, still one of my favorite mantras even though I mostly use Om Ah Hum now or Om Mani Padme Hum. I sometimes use all 3 at the same time on repeat high speed within my body, running it up and down my spine and during making love with my wife. Actually, without mantra, I can't pull back my ejaculation. It's only through mantra that I'm even able to do this. It's pretty cool! Wonderful trick.

 

My dear... you are a great being. But, I also know these feelings of mortality and residual fears even though I've had so many past life experiences and have had visitations to higher lokas, and beings from higher lokas it's still a nasty and very deeply ingrained samskara that pesters my conscious mind from time to time. Sometimes for an entire day. Like 2 weeks ago, I felt it so intense, that it felt like my body was going to dissolve and I felt the numbness of a heart attack on my left arm. I felt so floaty and vulnerable and I felt like my thoughts were so loud that I was hurting everyone and I felt like every thought or look from people was making my eardrums hurt, just thoughts were making my eardrums hurt and peoples looks at me felt like they were cutting through my entire body. I finally just had to cry in public, good thing I was wearing my shades as to not bring any more attention, but this crying was surrender to the cosmic process and was filled with great spiritual energy. I saw white light everywhere and I felt like my water element was being purified. Anyway... as you know the practices make me more deeply fearless, that's for sure. I just haven't fully died to death yet. I hope before this life is over that I do. As well as you my dear. Remember that every time you experience it, you get a closer view of it's nature, so through contemplation your wisdom should shatter that dream of a mirror... eventually. NOW!!

 

Take care Shaktimama!! I know I probably don't hold a candle to your level of experience and I always feel a little intimidated talking with you. But, I thought I'd share just to let you know that you are not alone!

 

Big fat kiss on your mortality samskaras... may they be healed!

 

 

You share such great secrets! Santi and I teach to circulate prayers and mantra during making love. People are absolutely floored at what happens when they do. But then again, we teach to circulate prayers and mantra during all activities of life.

 

Oh noes...don't be initmidated! Many are and it makes me feel isolated. It is just a feeling and I know I am not isolated but....sigh.... just another practicing human being I am.

 

So when I was seeing the neurologist yesterday I felt totally the samskaras of mortality. I was so upset and unnerved at the diagnosis I had a little car accident in the parking lot because I felt so overwhelmed and ungrounded. So I have to take some medication for a while which totally messes with my egoic projections about myself. I tell myself, "well, silly, if you broke your leg and had to have it casted and walk on crutches you wouldn't be so hard on yourself or feel shameful. Your brain is jus a little broken. You can't help it. You were born this way." Oy..i ended up laughing at myself at the end of the day. I am not the diagnosis nor am I just my feelings.

 

Actually, the diagnosis was a relief and put a lot of things in perspective about myself. So, a new way to understand myself and a lot of things to heal. It's genetic and my whole family is affected in some ways. So this may mean a healing to come to all of us.

 

Like you I have had many experiences of past lives and visitations to higher lokas. I know that I know that I know that I am not this but I AM THIS but still I live in a body that has accumulated a life time of experiences in this world. I chose to be human and to incarnate into this world.

 

Each samskara I rediscover teaches me to be even more compassionate.

Om Namah Shivaya

Blessings and love to you,

s

 

[gendao]

It's a very tiny forum that my friends put together and I moderated on. The old forum is now gone and the new one gets 3 posts per month, lol.

 

Meeting attractive women who are interested you in other countries is very easy. It's not merely a matter of physical looks either, but of the vibe they give off physically and energetically.

 

Personally though I think trying to purposefully look for foreign partners on dating sties is a horrible idea. The ones who WANT to come to the US are quite likely to have an interest in the US culture which I find abhorant, or simply want the better material benefits. Many are also gold diggers. Traveling to other countries oneself is best.

 

So, still buy American or outsource?

Edited August 29, 2010 by vortex

[Oolong Rabbit]

I don't conserve jing only for spiritual gain...

 

it's just that now, for me to cum, it really drains me. Physically, mentally and... stagnates me spiritually.

 

It's not about achieving greatness. It's just that the next day after sex I'm in a fog, I am not feeling life, I am a ghost not fully appreciating what is going on around me.

 

Compare this to not having cum for a while... and keeping control of sexual urges by letting go and Micro/Macrocosmic orbit that starts up naturally, I feel alive, able to make more influence on the world... able to think clearly, my imagniation stronger and able to convert those imaginations to reality. I feel normal.

 

However, I am with a woman. She's good for my soul, inner smile, happiness.

However, she views me not wanting to cum as me not giving my love. She says I will lose love if I don't do this. I say when I do it I feel love for her, strengthening us. All I do now is consider it a test and resolve that sorry, this is more important then her; my health is more important than her, because I have to love myself first before I can love others.

 

 

But I would like to hear how others approach this subject.

 

I second Durkhrod's opinion. Watch this video. He explains things pretty well.

 

[JohnC]

I second Durkhrod's opinion. Watch this video. He explains things pretty well.

 

 

You attract into your life, people your ready for and are like.

 

People suck off energy, not just women. Men too.

 

Scarcity mindsets are based off insecurity.

 

That video is a bunch of assumptions and weird assertions.

 

... and really... "she's arguing with me, she must be stirring up my emotions to try and suck off energy! OR CONTROL ME!!" Seems paranoid to me.

 

In other spiritual communities, they look at the feminine, as something that challenges and helps the masculine grow, and the masculine the feminine..... either through challenge, or emotion, or whatever.

 

You just have to pay attention...

 

John

Edited August 30, 2010 by JohnC

[三江源]

.

Edited April 5, 2015 by 三江源

[WallaMike]

Your descriptions of my home country and its inhabitants is quite right in many respects and very well said.

I almost forgot what it was like having left the clusterfuck nation some time ago.

But I still can appreciate these "beings" for the gifts to society their un-sanity bestows upon the world...and lessons to yet be learned or potentials to yet be realized.

 

 

Arf! I mean Hello Metal Dog. I've looked at your profile and read some of your comments and have enjoyed them. Would you mind sharing where you presently live and why?

[ShaktiMama]

I second Durkhrod's opinion. Watch this video. He explains things pretty well.

 

 

This video is well...troubling and has erroneous assumptions. This video shows a simplistic understanding of energy.

 

Practicing an authentic kung fu makes a person strong and strong enough that being around people of weaker energy shouldn't really make that much of a difference if you are doing your practices. If men were being vamped of their energy by evil wives then I would go take kung fu from someone else. These students don't know how to root themselves nor have a good understanding of inner energy cultivation.

 

I will say that some students, especially those who practice MA forms that lack spiritual training or understanding (this is dependent on the quality of the teacher) do become assholes and their wives divorce them because of that. Too much yang not balanced by yin.

 

A few of my students (no such thing as all of his students. I would find that hard to believe), do get divorced or break up with their primary relationship. A percentage always do after they go thru this life changing transformation called kundalini awakening.

 

With my students it is because they become so accelerated in their spiritual development and start to mature at much quicker rate than their partners. Then it becomes like a grown up dating a 12 year old in spritual perspectives. Their ability to perceive and work with energy is mature. My students usually go into some kind of counseling, whether professional or informal, to make sure they are honorably handling their relationships. Sometimes the relationship contract is broken or sometimes it takes a new form but my students must handle their relationships honorably. This goes as well with all kind of relationships.

 

The emphasis is learning to be kind to those you are in relationship with because internal energy cultivation CHANGES you. Expression of virtue becomes more spontaneous. You become more insynch with Nature and it's flow. When your partner does not develop like you are difficulties can ensue.

 

just speaking of my experiences with my students,

s

[三江源]

.

Edited April 5, 2015 by 三江源

[Enishi]

 

 

So, still buy American or outsource?

 

Go for those who aren't 'Americanized', whether foreign or domestic.

[Vajrahridaya]

 

 

So when I was seeing the neurologist yesterday I felt totally the samskaras of mortality. I was so upset and unnerved at the diagnosis I had a little car accident in the parking lot because I felt so overwhelmed and ungrounded.

 

HAHAHA!! Not the nicest place to have a Kriya!

 

 

My wife loves this video! I sent it to her years ago and she's been a fan ever since. I've seen Krishna Das live both in Clearwater FL, and in NYC a couple of times and have wonderful experiences every time. There's just something about that mans voice that transports one into various altered states of mind.

 

My most powerful experience of him was in Clearwater FL. I had a lucid vision of Neem Karoli Baba sitting next to Krishna Das throwing "Blue Pearls" into everyones heart. My head went back uncontrollably as the kundalini just ravished my body and my spine, my eyes streaming with bliss tears and my throat gargling like a baby. Needless to say I couldn't chant for a while due to the immense energy coming through taking over all my faculties. !!

Edited August 30, 2010 by Vajrahridaya

[Vajrahridaya]

Go for those who aren't 'Americanized', whether foreign or domestic.

 

I honestly think Europeans give it up easier, unless they're in NYC. There's just something about NY that makes women want to have sex?? No matter where they're from!

[ShaktiMama]

 

 

My wife loves this video! I sent it to her years ago and she's been a fan ever since. I've seen Krishna Das live both in Clearwater FL, and in NYC a couple of times and have wonderful experiences every time. There's just something about that mans voice that transports one into various altered states of mind.

 

My most powerful experience of him was in Clearwater FL. I had a lucid vision of Neem Karoli Baba sitting next to Krishna Das throwing "Blue Pearls" into everyones heart. My head went back uncontrollably as the kundalini just ravished my body and my spine, my eyes streaming with bliss tears and my throat gargling like a baby. Needless to say I couldn't chant for a while due to the immense energy coming through taking over all my faculties. !!

 

HAHAHA!! Not the nicest place to have a Kriya!

 

That's a good way of looking at it. My body was exploding with energy and it was difficult to see in ordinary reality.

 

You keep sharing secrets! You know that talking about visions and experiences are seen as low class, cult like behavior of the sadhu by many. Thanks for sharing the experience of your darshan. It blessed me.

 

Head rolling back so occipital portion touches the top of the spine. A variation of the Shiva mudra. Good way to blow out the brain with kundalini bliss if you are not prepared. (Sharing secrets too. )Dr. Glenn Morris called it the bliss position.

 

I saw Krishna Das in concert in June. So lovely and ecstatic. I wished it could go on and on that night.

 

s

[Vajrahridaya]

HAHAHA!! Not the nicest place to have a Kriya!

 

That's a good way of looking at it. My body was exploding with energy and it was difficult to see in ordinary reality.

 

You keep sharing secrets! You know that talking about visions and experiences are seen as low class, cult like behavior of the sadhu by many. Thanks for sharing the experience of your darshan. It blessed me.

 

No problem! I know about the ideas surrounding sharing experiences. I would never share such things with people who have none of this type.

 

Head rolling back so occipital portion touches the top of the spine. A variation of the Shiva mudra. Good way to blow out the brain with kundalini bliss if you are not prepared. (Sharing secrets too. )Dr. Glenn Morris called it the bliss position.

 

Yes indeed. This would happen plenty with Gurumayi's presence. As the energy starts to integrate the outer expressions start to calm down though as bliss starts to become the normal mode of being.

 

I saw Krishna Das in concert in June. So lovely and ecstatic. I wished it could go on and on that night.

 

s

 

No doubt! I love his chants. I also saw Bhagavan Das live and met him. He seems like a warmer person when meeting him than Krishna Das who seems aloof, but Krishna Das seems to just have that gift of voice.

[JohnC]

I couldnt get to the end of the video, it was robotic, slow paced, verbose, unimaginative...it sucked all the energy out of me...

 

 

Psychotherapy trainings are famous for precipitating relationship break ups too. When one partner grows and the other doesnt, something has to give.

 

 

Male witholdingness and paranoia about women is more to do with unresolved mother complexes than anything else.

 

There are enough happy and well balanced partnered men on this site to make it crystal clear it is possible to be generous and loving with a partner and love in abundance together.

 

I do think that it is at a more mature level of practice that this happens, and that more fragile men feel more self protective and unsafe around getting close to others.

 

This.

 

John

[jago25_98]

A year later....

 

Enslavement. Can it be this simple? It does seem that way, but not all here agree. Im looking here for encouragement. Im looking for support.

 

I have to find an answer. Be that finding a woman who is positive, a way to cum without hurting myself, or being dead-set on celibacy.

 

Those ways of helping this problem.

 

1) Celibacy. Extreme. When I tried this I had a break in my focus such that I brought a woman into my life. I was lonely and I couldnt stand it. It seems like such a big task. My instinct says this is the way. But to learn to be alone... it seems like such a massive task. So many supporting things I need to fix to help me along the way, for example finding a community to support myself to help the gap a partner provides. I would have to change my whole life. I dont even know where to start. I find it hard to imagine. I know all it takes is a digression in thoughts and Ill be back to square one. I guess I have to remember "just take the first step"...

 

2) A way to cum without hurting oneself.

How do I bring the energy into myself to protect myself from losing it?

 

3) Please tell me there are women out there who support their men in life. Please inspire me.

 

I guess there is a 4th option. Do the romantic thing, cum, be a willing slave, submit and die. Should I submit to enslavement. I know if I do she will leave me.

 

 

It seems like madness to leave someone over this. I just think to myself "Why cant she just support me". She doesnt budge an inch. It such a simple thing. Surely if she really loved me she wouldnt do this to me?

 

It goes in cycles. I go to work at sea, build my energy for 2 months. I feel strong but notice desire. I come back feeling great because I know she is there for me.

 

This is totally ruining our relationship. It seems like a war neither will back down on. It shouldnt even be a case of me vs her anyway. I have to find resolve. Leaving her is not addressing the problem because I know it will result in the same thing just with another woman.

 

Thank you for your points about honour, doing it honourably. That is helpful. When my last relationship ended that honour and care I expected to be reciprocated. That was something I felt I didnt get and that was devastating, something I still carry with me even after working on it for a year and to be honest that makes me angry.

 

 

If there are women out there who this is different for, please let me know and I will leave this girl in search of that woman.

 

If I can protect my energy from this please let me know.

 

If you can inspire strength within me to commit to celibacy, please do.

 

 

This is causing me a massive amount of pain here.

[The Observer]

The pain comes comes from indecision. Be clear about what you want to do and take it from there. No right or wrong. Do what must be done.

[Astral_Anima]

A year later....

 

Enslavement. Can it be this simple? It does seem that way, but not all here agree. Im looking here for encouragement. Im looking for support.

 

I have to find an answer. Be that finding a woman who is positive, a way to cum without hurting myself, or being dead-set on celibacy.

 

Those ways of helping this problem.

 

1) Celibacy. Extreme. When I tried this I had a break in my focus such that I brought a woman into my life. I was lonely and I couldnt stand it. It seems like such a big task. My instinct says this is the way. But to learn to be alone... it seems like such a massive task. So many supporting things I need to fix to help me along the way, for example finding a community to support myself to help the gap a partner provides. I would have to change my whole life. I dont even know where to start. I find it hard to imagine. I know all it takes is a digression in thoughts and Ill be back to square one. I guess I have to remember "just take the first step"...

 

2) A way to cum without hurting oneself.

How do I bring the energy into myself to protect myself from losing it?

 

3) Please tell me there are women out there who support their men in life. Please inspire me.

 

I guess there is a 4th option. Do the romantic thing, cum, be a willing slave, submit and die. Should I submit to enslavement. I know if I do she will leave me.

 

 

It seems like madness to leave someone over this. I just think to myself "Why cant she just support me". She doesnt budge an inch. It such a simple thing. Surely if she really loved me she wouldnt do this to me?

 

It goes in cycles. I go to work at sea, build my energy for 2 months. I feel strong but notice desire. I come back feeling great because I know she is there for me.

 

This is totally ruining our relationship. It seems like a war neither will back down on. It shouldnt even be a case of me vs her anyway. I have to find resolve. Leaving her is not addressing the problem because I know it will result in the same thing just with another woman.

 

Thank you for your points about honour, doing it honourably. That is helpful. When my last relationship ended that honour and care I expected to be reciprocated. That was something I felt I didnt get and that was devastating, something I still carry with me even after working on it for a year and to be honest that makes me angry.

 

 

If there are women out there who this is different for, please let me know and I will leave this girl in search of that woman.

 

If I can protect my energy from this please let me know.

 

If you can inspire strength within me to commit to celibacy, please do.

 

 

This is causing me a massive amount of pain here.

 

Well celibacy is MUCH easier when you eliminate the physical and mental "drives" that cause you to crave it. Love can be expressed many ways, as can creative energy, it's only lust that demands ejaculation. Lust is caused by physical and mental toxicity. I've actually posted about this too much I feel like a broken record but the urge to ejaculate is caused my inorganic minerals, excess sugar in the bloodstream and undigested protein along with other toxins. Semen acts as a potent solvent to eliminate such toxic build up. When the body is toxic, every orifice is used to eliminate, remember it's trying to stay alive!

Then mental toxicity obviously as porn, objectifying women, over-stimulation, etc. If you can use meditation, Cardio (which is huge for me at least, if you focus on your breath count like 4-7 in and 2-3 out), and other calming methods or simply find another focus. When I was working on reducing food intake I would start to play a really involving video game, post alot on here, or just plain sleep alot whenever I started thinking about eating...you can do the same for sex. I've been celibate for SO many months, and been quite alone as well. Honestly I don't feel i need (or really want) all that social stimulation I once craved, once you "face yourself" do some insight, discover you shadow and release your emotional blockages lonliness itself fades and social activity becomes a choice rather than a "drive" much the same way sex does.

 

When it comes to techniques that allow one to retain semen...honestly I've heard alot. Check out http://instrumentals-beats.com/blah-blah-blah/ for a list of resources. Honestly I think the Zenno jojido has the best techniques out of those. Although i think Verdesi may have a crazy technique as well http://davidverdesi.com/eng/page/55/ and i'm hoping to check him out one day.

 

As for women who are willing to work with that...You'd have to establish an emotional connection first methinks. Of course women don't NEED you to ejaculate, if you get them off digitally or orally then you should be good and I know women who would LOVE to have a guy to just get them off and NOT ejaculate because that would eliminate all the risk/worry of sex for them.

 

Anyway, best of luck,

-Astral

[jago25_98]

She wants, needs, must have me to cum. She is attached to it. I ask her to let go, to experience freedom.

 

I have not cum in 3 months. She can't stand this. It's terrible for her and she says if she can't have this it will never work.

 

But I know what I need in life. Or rather, what is good for me. The key thing here is that it doesn't just feel like a want from my body, to give good health, or indeed a subconcious thing. It actually feels like a desire from the soul. And that gives me much strength, and decision. I know what my soul wants - I want to be myself once more. The life I am living is not my maximum, it is not life, not fully.

 

Every day colours get brighter but there is some way to go before I feel natural again, connected with whatever it was I was before.

 

It is essential for me. It would be a travesty to have this knowledge and not to listen to it.

 

I wonder, perhaps it is _I_ who is attached. Attached to the advantage of not cumming. Perhaps I should let go. Letting go is not what causes me to cum, it is attachedment to desire and lust - thoughts which are not creative.

 

Let go of desire and we are so free. No need to work all hours made to afford designer clothes and be attactive, in just one example there.

 

 

To reiterate, I have patience in my sex, but she does not.

 

Tonight I asked her to let go. I feel that's all I can do. If she cannot then I guess I have to try elsewhere. I asked her why she needs me to cum. There was a brick wall of `I just do`. I can't push this. She seemed to go futher and cried a little. I hope that is something. I am demanding. Life is not easy.

 

"lonliness itself fades and social activity becomes a choice rather than a "drive" much the same way sex does."

Thank you for this. I will meditate on this. If I can feel it from an earlier time, I will be inspired.

 

Thank you for the support,

 

again, can we just confirm that if I leave this woman, there are women out there who work with this in a positive way, or indeed that I can also work on myself to eliminate the thing inside me which brings these women into my life. Otherwise I will simply experience the same thing again in 6 months time with woman no.3, and that's not fair.

 

 

Peace

Edited February 25, 2011 by jago25_98

[surfingbudda]

"again, can we just confirm that if I leave this woman, there are women out there who work with this in a positive way, or indeed that I can also work on myself to eliminate the thing inside me which brings these women into my life. Otherwise I will simply experience the same thing again in 6 months time with woman no.3, and that's not fair. "

 

My take on your situation is that your current girlfriend won't take anything less than ejaculation despite the negative effects it has on you. To me this is an obvious sign of someone who doesn't truly care or "Love" you and is only using you for her own egotistic self. What you need to do is look at your situation from a neutral viewpoint and feel in your true heart from the deepest core of your being, is this relationship meant to be or do I need to find another mate who is right for me. You should never sacrifice your well being for another person's ill motives; you need to find someone who is compatible with you and is on a similar spiritiual level as yourself. You may have been at a similar level spiritually with your girlfriend when you got into this relationship, however now may be the time to move on to greater things as you seem to be at a spirittual standstill at the moment. There is most definitely a right woman for you on a similar spiritual level and when it is time you will cross paths. Perhaps ending this current relationship is the only thing preventing the universe from throwing you the perfect girl . Live life with an open optimistic attitude and great things can happen, have faith in the universe and your higher self. So thats my two cents

 

I know for myself personally, I could most likely get a girlfriend right now if I wanted too, however at the moment I feel like healing and working on myself before I join a relationship with someone else. I am waiting till it feels right in my heart that I am ready for a solid relationship.

[NeiChuan]

I Think if she always wants you to finish, then there's a problem.

 

She may be attached it being to her it's her sign she's done her job, and you're not unsatisfied. or just the lust of it I guess. Unless she can be detached from the situation I wouldn't do it myself though.

 

I also see it that tantric sex is primarily for gaining a deeper connection with another person, not just some lustful act. It's really transformed my idea of sex and love.

 

I just find most women who just want the 20 - 30 minute wham bam thank you mam are just looking for lust. Often anyway.

 

Having sex longer with someone you barely know would be kind of weird anyway.

 

I myself would move on. Unless you can compromise with finishing once a week or 2.

Edited February 25, 2011 by NeiChuan

[Sloppy Zhang]

She wants, needs, must have me to cum. She is attached to it. I ask her to let go, to experience freedom.

 

Challenge her. Tell her if she wants you to cum, she's going to have to squeeze it out of you. She's going to have to get you to climax, and then keep going until you just can't physically stop yourself from spraying all over.

 

Fun way to get you both into it. She's got a goal to work towards, and you can test your resolve. Just don't take it so seriously, and try to enjoy it along the way

[NeiChuan]

Challenge her. Tell her if she wants you to cum, she's going to have to squeeze it out of you. She's going to have to get you to climax, and then keep going until you just can't physically stop yourself from spraying all over.

 

Fun way to get you both into it. She's got a goal to work towards, and you can test your resolve. Just don't take it so seriously, and try to enjoy it along the way

 

nvm I like this idea.

 

 

lols

[Cyril]

And besides! Having that partner there with you just makes it all the better because you have that crucial exchange of Zinc ions between you and your partner which is scientifically proven to be beneficial to both parties.

[markern]

Are you doing some sort of tantra or are you just having conventional sex? If you practice a very relaxed form of tantra she can start to experience valey orgasms and a different type of sexuality and might then understand all of this better and loose the emphasis on ejaculation.

[jago25_98]

Last night she was convinced it's something I choose until she could see how much this hurts me. She's a psychiatrist so to her whenever there some kind of problem she goes straight to the head as the source of the problem. She felt that I've read something and that I have created the reality around me from that.

 

Only after she can see how much I would really like to be able to cum 3x a day without feeling any different as I did as a teenager, only after she can see I'm suffering does she believe what I say.

 

When I was young I could ejaculate all the time. I only noticed feeling tired from it at about 18. But it was 2 years ago in the summer I had a very sexual relationship with a girl, cumming everyday at a minimum with no limit that I noticed I can't do things the way I used to. I noticed whenever I tried to exercise the next day I couldn't achieve anything. Further, my perception of everything was like looking through a fog. I started to limit ejaculations a little, and life was life again. However, I think this was a contributing factor to that girlfriend dumping me... not ejaculating when you're used to it effects the sex when learning it... things went stale and she ended it as she says she needs lust. My goals were different so I was cut off in a savage way. Now it's happening again but with some compassion and humanity due to me picking a more sensitive girl.

 

 

"I myself would move on. Unless you can compromise with finishing once a week or 2. "

It takes me 3-4 weeks to recover to a state where I can get things done without everything being an effort, making silly mistakes at work etc. It takes me 3 months to get to a strong state where it requires calm to avoid any overspilling of desire into unwanted effects.

I think this is longer than it should be for my age. I'm 29. I feel this is because I've wanked and sexed by way to complete excess when younger. It seems maybe I've used up my resources quicker than other people because as soon as I felt desire my response was to masturbate (when younger), or have sex, when older.

I'd love to be able to cum every week or 2 but I'd be living my life... except for perhaps a few days a week, in a fog.

 

I think she understands how this is for me. I want to communicate that she has humanity. But, as she says, she has her needs. She is almost completely adamant that it is a need for her for me to ejaculate, and that it is a need for all women. I believe that she believes that. It maybe a false need but I recognize that to her it is real.

 

We started to view her needing me to cum and me needing to not cum as the problem, not us. Can you help us with that problem?

 

Can I learn to cum without losing so much energy. When I cum I cum so hard, that could be the difference between me and other people.

 

 

She has all of Spanish and English speaking society on her side to back her up. It is easy to feel like the whole world is saying I am crazy and nothing to support how I feel. I, on the other hand have no credible support that what I say is real other than the emotional effects apparent. All I can say is that this is a very well known thing in China and in France they have a proverb about it - I'm not making it up. There is no doctor to support me (Chinese Doctor?), and other than this forum I'm 100% alone in my convictions, which have had to be very strong to get this far. Of course I know that if I need confirmation that it's not in my head, again, all I have to do is cum and then I got another 3 month wait to get back to where I was. It would be great to have a TCM doctor show some support for me, or just someone else in person who can give some support.

 

The whole thing has created a bigger problem now. She says she doesn't feel the same for me now. She's not treating me with the same care and love. There's an additional problem now around lovemaking, we're now dysfunctional there. Dysfunctional in a way that may be too hard to repair. That's a new problem on top of the old problem now. That's a different reason for us to part. But it's a shame to have to do so, so much time and effort invested, it was going in the right direction at first. I'm ok and happy, it's just her who needs the lust.

Now it's a problem hanging over us stopping us from connecting. We have to get over that first to even connect again it seems. When I start talking like this it really does feel like we have made it a bigger problem than it is now and it gets hard work.

 

 

Being decisive I would say that I am here to teach these women about true love, to show lust for what it really is and set them free. If they want to.

 

That's why I don't want to simply walk away, I have to judge if it is right and I'm not sure it is.

Edited February 25, 2011 by jago25_98