I've got some good news...

[Encephalon]

[Mattimo]

Lol?

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

1. Investment advice, from a karmic perspective, of course.

 

2. The fate of the world. Thumbs up, or thumbs down? Will I survive? Is there any way for me to get rich from 'The End of Life As We Know It?'

 

3. What's the deal with full lotus?

 

Thanks Blasto,

 

Songs

[Taomeow]

I desperately need a safe and efficient flea remedy for kittens under 8 weeks of age and under 2 pounds of weight. Would you please look it up for me in the Akashic records? -- or maybe you just know off the top of your head? Would be greatly appreciated.

[Samuel]

My congratulations. Why do you post it here? Surely gentle positive nurturing would be better for us if you are correct and we indeed will never become one with the Tao?

[metal dog]

Trust me...you are just at your beginning...embryonic grasshopper.

 

This is what happens to me too when I drink coffee.

Edited August 28, 2010 by metal dog

[ralis]

I need tonight's lottery numbers.

 

ralis

[balance.]

I don't seem to be the only one here who isn't sure whether to laugh or kneel... Though in my experience, laughing is seldom the improper course of action....

 

 

...I'll be sure to let loose some righteous and deep-rooted peals for you.

Edited August 28, 2010 by balance.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Trust me...you are just at your beginning...embryonic grasshopper.

 

This is what happens to me too when I drink coffee.

 

Please...! Do not diminish the manifestation of theTao in Blasto! He is no embryonic grasshopper, he is a full grown locust! And he doesn't even touch coffee, he drinks only artesian spring water right out of the ground.

 

Thanks for your interest,

 

The Committee

[Samuel]

I need tonight's lottery numbers.

 

ralis

 

And if you've got them, the names of the winners of the Grand National for the next twenty-thirty years.

[Aetherous]

_/\_

[Samuel]

_/\_

 

What does that mean? I've seen it a few times now.

[Aetherous]

It's an orange traffic cone.

[Samuel]

It's an orange traffic cone.

 

Thanks, that was bugging me.

[3bob]

Hello, fellow Bums. It is with unbounded gratitude and humility that I am informing you that I have attained the lofty heights of advanced spiritual development. By virtue of my training and the power of the secret transmissions, not to mention the grace bestowed upon me by the Creator himself, I have pierced the veil of delusion and entered the Stream of the Absolute. My wisdom is now unparalleled, my virtue unexceeded.

 

The bad news is that I will be crossing this threshold alone. I am moved to sympathy by the plight of each and every one of you, and my heart would fill with gladness if I knew that each and every one of you had the same chance for redemption, but regrettably, it is not to be. Some of you might be moved to ask “By what criteria have you escaped the bounds of Samsara?” and of course I honor your queries. But the unfortunate truth of it is that no explanations can be heard by the deaf ears of the Uncleansed. In other words, each of you are lacking the spiritual maturity necessary to even comprehend your own futility. Some of you have been lead astray by deviant and inferior paths, and I mourn your foolhardiness for the suffering it will bring. I’m deeply sorry, but this simply the way things are.

 

A faint stream of photonic energy is beginning to escape through my skin. It is creating something of a mild halo effect but it has not yet reached the intensity that signals my final ascendency. Until then, I would be happy to field questions about your fate, but I simply cannot offer you the slightest hope for a better future.

 

With pity and sadness,

Blasto

 

Umm, I checked with Lord Yama about your status just in case you were trying to pull a fast one and He said that even though you're a "up and comer" you have not yet finished your intellectual training, thus its back to the books for you for about another 10 eons. Good luck, (btw, most of here could use some free grammer and spelling lessons during that time - are you game?)

 

Om

P.S. not to mention help fixing my two old Chevys

Edited August 28, 2010 by 3bob

[Birch]

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

_/\_

 

Now how would you know that it's an orange traffic cone, Scotty you old leg-puller?

 

It's supposed to be someone bowing down in a gesture of honoring them, like you see the arms, and then these two big hands on the floor, I think it's kind of sappy, but what-evuh.

 

I like this one:

 

&:~)

 

a smiling Swami.

Edited August 28, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[ralis]

Good for you

 

While you're there, could you just slightly influence people to access their better natures? Thank you!

 

And ruin all the fun! Lol!

 

ralis

[Aetherous]

Now how would you know that it's an orange traffic cone, Scotty you old leg-puller?

 

It's supposed to be someone bowing down in a gesture of honoring them, like you see the arms, and then these two big hands on the floor, I think it's kind of sappy, but what-evuh.

 

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

[Maddie]

I have good news too..............

 

 

 

 

 

I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO

[Birch]

 

 

&:~)

 

a smiling Swami.

 

Oh neat! Looks to me like he's doing some kind of inner smile in full-lotus

[Encephalon]

1. Investment advice, from a karmic perspective, of course.

 

Goods and Services for the poor and the recently homeless; think solar ovens/laundry facilities, foodstuffs, carpooling and brothels.

 

2. The fate of the world. Thumbs up, or thumbs down? Will I survive? Is there any way for me to get rich from 'The End of Life As We Know It?'

 

See Lovelock,James: "The Revenge of Gaia." Taoist off-the-grid communities, north of the 55th parallel, should yield sanctuaries for a few humans. You may survive, but you'll need a small herd of goats. See answer 1. for investment advice.

 

3. What's the deal with full lotus?

Has nothing to do with yoga. When GM began discussing their sale of the Lotus auto line with Romano Artioli, the Italian auto manufacturer, they pondered the wisdom of reserving stock options or just selling the Full Lotus outright. They settled on the latter.

Thanks Blasto,

 

Songs

 

I desperately need a safe and efficient flea remedy for kittens under 8 weeks of age and under 2 pounds of weight. Would you please look it up for me in the Akashic records? -- or maybe you just know off the top of your head? Would be greatly appreciated.

 

I understand the British have made tremendous strides in the area of food irradiation technology. They may very well have perfected the art of kitty irradiation. I'll gestate that subject and get back to you.

 

My congratulations. Why do you post it here? Surely gentle positive nurturing would be better for us if you are correct and we indeed will never become one with the Tao?

 

Not necessarily. I've determined that it is better to live without delusion than to experience happiness for no good reason.

 

Trust me...you are just at your beginning...embryonic grasshopper.

 

This is what happens to me too when I drink coffee.

 

As I've already made clear, I no longer require the trust of anyone. I regret that the truth of this is beyond your understanding, but it cannot be helped.

 

I need tonight's lottery numbers.

 

ralis

 

7, 12, 19, 31, 50 + 1

 

 

Please...! Do not diminish the manifestation of theTao in Blasto! He is no embryonic grasshopper, he is a full grown locust! And he doesn't even touch coffee, he drinks only artesian spring water right out of the ground.

 

Thanks for your interest,

 

The Committee

 

I have been known to dabble in a concoction of 2 tbs organic blackstrap molasses with 1 tbs of brewer's yeast in hot water, when the ignorant masses are getting me down, or when pure artesian spring water is no where at hand.

 

Umm, I checked with Lord Yama about your status just in case you were trying to pull a fast one and He said that even though you're a "up and comer" you have not yet finished your intellectual training, thus its back to the books for you for about another 10 eons. Good luck, (btw, most of here could use some free grammer and spelling lessons during that time - are you game?)

 

Om

P.S. not to mention help fixing my two old Chevys

 

Sorry. If you ain't Mopar, you ain't shit. And I don't teach remedial grammer.

 

Thank you. I've tried to absolve you all, but the Absolution Dispenser is only taking tokens at this time and I forgot my password.

Cheers.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

_/\_

[Aetherous]

[3bob]

some buddies for your fun and furry little avatar since you're leaving:

 

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/meerkat-mischief/264tcrkm?rs=Animal&from=en-us_msnhp&gt1=42006

Edited August 29, 2010 by 3bob