celibacy for 8 months...

[Non]

I'm sorry, I possibly dindn't understand well. The way you wrote it, made me think the problem may have been with you. Help me understand, why self esteem in others ??

 

It's hard to have faith when you seem to be doing everything right, but it's up to another to accept you for who you are, you can't decide for him/her.

[Non]

Sexual alchemy makes celibacy obsolete. The main reason adepts abstain from sex is to preserve their kundalini energy for their spiritual disciplines and practices, which is understandable. But different strokes for different folks, if you find that this practice does not suit you, it would the definition of insanity to keep tying it again and hoping for a different result.

 

If you learn sexual alchemy, you can learn to orgasm without ejaculation to preserve your energy. Then you can use the alchemy to circulate and refine that energy into spiritual energy. I don't think there is really any point to doing the MCO while you're celibate, all that energy is TRAPPED! You need to orgasm and use the big draw to raise the energy up your spine; THEN, do the MCO.

 

As humans we ALL desire contact with other humans. I think that doing a 100 day celibacy discipline would be great for practice, but any thing after that will probably not offer you any other energetic benefits as your probably noticed.

 

I don't think you need to ejaculate, what you need to do is orgasm. You need to practice solo sexual alchemy, until you find a partner. This will release the pent up orgasmic energy in your chakra and allow you to refine it into shen. Orgasm is very healthy for the body, but ejaculation isn't.

 

As Marvin Gaye says, you need sexual healing. Spiritual practice is good, but all work and no play is bad. As Lao Tzu said, all things in moderation, even moderation.

 

To me there is no better medicine than orgasm and laughter. Not to pass judgment, but you sound depressed my friend. I suggest you do practices that engage you with the world like volunteering. Try and find a nice woman if you can and try and forge a relationship, life is too short to be unhappy and lonely my friend.

 

My suggestion is, follow your heart.

 

and just how do you learn sexual alchemy? Everything is shrouded in lies. What's a good source?

[Maddie]

I think wanting is a different story.

 

Needing is when you cannot live without the other person in the sense that you depend on the person, you would be deprived without the person and physically could not stand it, not have the resources.

 

Though true love can also be described as feeling like not being able to live without the person, but that's more in the philosophical sense, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you'd be deprived if the person left. Since true love is unconditional.

 

I sort of meant need as in neediness, being clingy, needy, ect... which is very similar to want, desire, ect..

[Maddie]

I think I remember hearing of some yogi guru who said that if we do not love ourselves then we seek love from an external source, i.e. another human being.... thoughts??

[King Kabalabhati]

I think I remember hearing of some yogi guru who said that if we do not love ourselves then we seek love from an external source, i.e. another human being.... thoughts??

 

I think it's obvious. But even "loving yourself" can be misunderstood. I think "having your heart open for the love of the universe" would be more accurate.

 

That said, I believe loving and having a family with a person who does not too much respect your ego but speaks the truth and even breaks your heart with it.. That can be a practice. It could be called "the yoga of relationship" and it is, as I have myself experienced, not for the faint of heart.

Edited October 11, 2010 by King Kabalabhati

[Non]

Sexual alchemy makes celibacy obsolete. The main reason adepts abstain from sex is to preserve their kundalini energy for their spiritual disciplines and practices, which is understandable. But different strokes for different folks, if you find that this practice does not suit you, it would the definition of insanity to keep tying it again and hoping for a different result.

 

If you learn sexual alchemy, you can learn to orgasm without ejaculation to preserve your energy. Then you can use the alchemy to circulate and refine that energy into spiritual energy. I don't think there is really any point to doing the MCO while you're celibate, all that energy is TRAPPED! You need to orgasm and use the big draw to raise the energy up your spine; THEN, do the MCO.

 

As humans we ALL desire contact with other humans. I think that doing a 100 day celibacy discipline would be great for practice, but any thing after that will probably not offer you any other energetic benefits as your probably noticed.

 

I don't think you need to ejaculate, what you need to do is orgasm. You need to practice solo sexual alchemy, until you find a partner. This will release the pent up orgasmic energy in your chakra and allow you to refine it into shen. Orgasm is very healthy for the body, but ejaculation isn't.

 

As Marvin Gaye says, you need sexual healing. Spiritual practice is good, but all work and no play is bad. As Lao Tzu said, all things in moderation, even moderation.

 

To me there is no better medicine than orgasm and laughter. Not to pass judgment, but you sound depressed my friend. I suggest you do practices that engage you with the world like volunteering. Try and find a nice woman if you can and try and forge a relationship, life is too short to be unhappy and lonely my friend.

 

My suggestion is, follow your heart.

 

I dont know but reuniting.info has a different story for orgasm as opposed to karezza, even of the 'whole body type' that Mantak Chia talks about.

[Niklas]

As you can't see yourself in the same way as others do, its good that you ask others for advice. And then you should really listen and look back at yourself to make the right decision. You reality isn't the same as any other persons reality because of your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. So trust the others and what the others have to say.

 

When reading your posts, Non, I can't see much happiness in your celibacy. If you had happiness in everything you did it would be much more enjoyable and then easier I think. Ask yourself if you are not using celibacy just to make yourself pretend that you don't need any woman (because you feel that you don't get any attraction from women). Try to pretend like every women likes you and wants to talk to you and that pretending will make your mind believe it. So when your mind believes it you'll see that the woman you are talking to will also believe it.

Just try to take control over your mind and make it pretend that everything in what you are doing is so great and it will suddenly become great.

Truth and reality isn't the same thing. The reactions you get from women is the result of what you think is true.

 

[Gjeken]

Try to pretend like every women likes you and wants to talk to you and that pretending will make your mind believe it. So when your mind believes it you'll see that the woman you are talking to will also believe it.

Just try to take control over your mind and make it pretend that everything in what you are doing is so great and it will suddenly become great.

Truth and reality isn't the same thing. The reactions you get from women is the result of what you think is true.

 

THIS is so true. But the problem is that you really have to believe it and the changes have to occur deep in your subconcious for it to become reality.

 

Best time to reprogram yourself is with affirmations when you are in a relaxed and receptive state after meditation.

When i first started doing affirmations they didn't do much for me but then i learned that you have to really FEEL and VISUALIZE them like they are your reality now in this moment.

You have to be consistent and do it twice a day and then changes will start to happen within a month.

 

 

This guy is 3 feet tall and in a wheelchair and he's still great with women because he got rid of his limiting beliefs.

Edited October 11, 2010 by Gjeken

[Gjeken]

double post

Edited October 11, 2010 by Gjeken

[Maddie]

Non, I would recommend the Larch Bach flower remedy for you, I think it would help a lot.

 

http://www.anandaapothecary.com/english/larch-flower-essence.html

 

the link is all about what it does.

[Niklas]

Ooh great! I'll try that Bach formula when I pass an exam or something

[Non]

I think it's obvious. But even "loving yourself" can be misunderstood. I think "having your heart open for the love of the universe" would be more accurate.

 

That said, I believe loving and having a family with a person who does not too much respect your ego but speaks the truth and even breaks your heart with it.. That can be a practice. It could be called "the yoga of relationship" and it is, as I have myself experienced, not for the faint of heart.

 

Yea, unfortunately the breaking the heart thing is a big trend among the society and in fact it's seen as normal such that it should be pushed into everyone else's reality, and also made to seem like it's the most macho thing to go through, the best way to be, etc. Kinda masochistic.

 

Like that one quote "you only know you have a heart until it's broken".

[Non]

As you can't see yourself in the same way as others do, its good that you ask others for advice. And then you should really listen and look back at yourself to make the right decision. You reality isn't the same as any other persons reality because of your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. So trust the others and what the others have to say.

 

When reading your posts, Non, I can't see much happiness in your celibacy. If you had happiness in everything you did it would be much more enjoyable and then easier I think. Ask yourself if you are not using celibacy just to make yourself pretend that you don't need any woman (because you feel that you don't get any attraction from women). Try to pretend like every women likes you and wants to talk to you and that pretending will make your mind believe it. So when your mind believes it you'll see that the woman you are talking to will also believe it.

Just try to take control over your mind and make it pretend that everything in what you are doing is so great and it will suddenly become great.

Truth and reality isn't the same thing. The reactions you get from women is the result of what you think is true.

 

 

Actually the reason I wanted to practice celibacy was to Get Over the negativity involved with having to live with being a virgin at 24 years old, being a severely repressed individual without it having a negative affect on me and my body, to transmute the sexual energies and learn to control them so I don't become a freakin creep, etc. etc. Basically to get over my inability to have a sex life... so I can get on with living normally until I can have a proper sex/love life.

 

It just so happens that energetics can be enhanced from celibacy, and perhaps I should be going through a period of celibacy anyway. And learning that sex is not just something to "fuck" with.

 

For me celibacy at this point really just means not masturbating and having excessive passion and frustration which can tip me over since I really don't even have opportunities with women.

 

All this is actually meant/supposed to help me get better with women and myself, a character development.

Edited October 12, 2010 by Non

[Guest tao4joe]

I've not "spilled my cup" at least through masturbation or intercourse now for 8 months. It did give me more energy at first but now it's really no biggie. In fact it can bother me at times as I feel castrated and I feel my sexuality diminishing one day (to a point that might be damaging), but the next if I give some thought of sex then it can awaken again.

 

There are times when my organ just becomes irritable even though I have no desire in my mind for sex, it tingles, it itches, and begs release. What can I do? Then I go into a cycle of sadness and frustration mixed with fantasy.

 

So far celibacy has done not much to help me with my energetic practice but it does give me some confidence, and a slight magnetism that I enjoy. An urge to unite rather than to just release, but much of that is centered in my organ but it's also more whole body oriented.

 

I know I can't "get" a woman because getting implies that she has no choice in the matter or I try to force her or impinge on her free will. Im not aggressive because sex is sacred to me, and in fact much to ask for, very personal. and no woman is ever going to be interested in me, at least now she won't and that's for sure. and even so anytime later I highly doubt it.

 

Im not going to release it because I'm afraid of what it will do. I guess the next step is another three months, but this time do it full out and not think of sex at all, regardless if I'm feeling castrated (always have anyway) and my sexuality and my organ retreats for longer than 'seems' right.

 

Well, Just wanted to offer a brief statement to you my friend, refraining from sexual thoughts, ideas and actions is not for people other than priests or sages of daoist scriptures. What Im trying to convey is you should be enjoying life!! sex and love. This is what humans are meant to do, what seperates us from animals and abusive degenerates is that we respect women as humans and see that first, then we are to open our experiences and love to them as a man should.. and all that that encompasses, saving our semen is to convert it to an energetic and creative cycle for our human and spiritual development... does not mean to keep forever, you should feel comfortable as a young man releasing that sexual ejaculate every few weeks, or lil longer if you are older. But never think you should refrain from making love to a woman you adore. ~Joseph

[The Observer]

For one thing visit: alchemicaltaoism.com. Keep an eye out for all the parts aimed at people practicing semen retention.

What helps me keep my sex drive under control is preforming a bridge while engaging my lower stomach in deep breathing...Good luck!

[dragonfire]

Everything's not always self esteem issues. It can be issues with esteem in others.

 

lay down and die

eye to I

me me me

 

 

ok... that is pretty funny... lol..

 

dude, you need to chill out man. first off, you are a virgin. since you have not tasted

a woman yet, give it time. you'll get through it bro! work on yourself! if you

are weak looking, then go workout. buff up! get some muscles. if you look like

a pimple faced kid, then workout... change your phsique and change your attitude.

women will come to you. learn to smile at them also. most times, women don't even

need to talk to you to sense they don't want to be with you. they call it vibes

or sensing.... I have a feeling... etc... stay postive... most importantly.

 

go play some sports and get active, if you are going to not shoot.

 

good luck!

[gj551]

I've not "spilled my cup" at least through masturbation or intercourse now for 8 months. It did give me more energy at first but now it's really no biggie. In fact it can bother me at times as I feel castrated and I feel my sexuality diminishing one day (to a point that might be damaging), but the next if I give some thought of sex then it can awaken again.

 

youre great

 

what do you think of the following hypothesis: nocturnal emission starts becoming a threat when you stop being a virgin

 

well hes off it for 8 months^^ think of an umbilical cord which happens to be cut by some event causing you to leak. could there arise ANY possible benefits from being a grown up? (that is implying that you didnt just do it with another person of the same gender)

Edited November 7, 2010 by gj551

[Listener]

I've come to qigong/meditation for essentially the same reason. I've been very unhappy, dissatisfied with my life for a long time, and a lot if not most of that dissatisfaction is from my inability to have relationships.

 

Sometimes the loneliness and regret has been almost more than I could handle and I had to find a way to deal with these emotions.

[RiverSnake]

Non i actually considered being celibate before, but i realized it was my insecurities with the opposite sex rather than some kind of spiritual cultivation that made me want to do it.

 

-I reccomend you meditate on why your doing this when your already a virgin (be honest with yourself). And if you don't already, you might want to practice some qi-gong on a regular basis.

 

-I think it is obvious that you have some bad programming and energetic blockages that are covering up your true self. You gotta learn to let it shine effortlessly.

Edited November 11, 2010 by Tao Apprentice

[Maddie]

I have been doing the cold draw since early September (no loss, not even any self stimulation) so it looks like I finally found a technique that works in that regards. It has been very effective at minimizing my sex drive. Why would I want to do such a thing? Well a big reason is that I'm going through a divorce, and so before I left didn't even want to touch her cause she was mean and nasty to me. Second I am trying to use all that potent energy to heal myself on the inside. Third I don't want to rush out into a rebound type relationship situation, cause to me that says "I can't be complete on my own, I have to have someone else to make me happy".

I'm 99% sure I won't do this the rest of my life, but I think for now it is what I really need to be doing, and this technique has worked wonderfully for that. I used to do the big draw, but that just kept me hot and bothered constantly, so I have found if you want to go a long time and keep desire low the cold draw is the key.

[Fire Dragon]

I have been doing the cold draw since early September (no loss, not even any self stimulation) so it looks like I finally found a technique that works in that regards. It has been very effective at minimizing my sex drive. Why would I want to do such a thing? Well a big reason is that I'm going through a divorce, and so before I left didn't even want to touch her cause she was mean and nasty to me. Second I am trying to use all that potent energy to heal myself on the inside. Third I don't want to rush out into a rebound type relationship situation, cause to me that says "I can't be complete on my own, I have to have someone else to make me happy".

I'm 99% sure I won't do this the rest of my life, but I think for now it is what I really need to be doing, and this technique has worked wonderfully for that. I used to do the big draw, but that just kept me hot and bothered constantly, so I have found if you want to go a long time and keep desire low the cold draw is the key.

 

 

Perhaps more suitable on another thread, but I want to ask you a question. I myself is going into another period of retention, plan to do it 100 days, not many days jet This is part of my health care system, a new wersion of it. Anyway what interests me in your post is that you more or less get rid of your sexual desires from the cold draw. I also do the cold draw, but not more than perhaps four times a weak, and I also do the big draw and testicle massage and other universal tao practises. What I wonder is how often do you need to do the cool draw or testicle breathing to get the desired efect. How often do you practise the method?

 

FD

[Maddie]

Perhaps more suitable on another thread, but I want to ask you a question. I myself is going into another period of retention, plan to do it 100 days, not many days jet This is part of my health care system, a new wersion of it. Anyway what interests me in your post is that you more or less get rid of your sexual desires from the cold draw. I also do the cold draw, but not more than perhaps four times a weak, and I also do the big draw and testicle massage and other universal tao practises. What I wonder is how often do you need to do the cool draw or testicle breathing to get the desired efect. How often do you practise the method?

 

FD

 

 

To basically have no sex drive so to speak of I have to do it at least once a day, sometimes twice.

 

An interesting twist is that I have been very effective at eliminating my sex drive with this technique, but as all this energy is entering various points on my MCO its clearning out blockages which can also be a quite difficult thing to go through.

[Guest tao4joe]

To basically have no sex drive so to speak of I have to do it at least once a day, sometimes twice.

 

An interesting twist is that I have been very effective at eliminating my sex drive with this technique, but as all this energy is entering various points on my MCO its clearning out blockages which can also be a quite difficult thing to go through.

 

Hi, just curious you said this "energy is clearing out emotional blocks" when did you know it was? and were you expecting that? because it shocked me to wake up and immediateley deal with old baggage, and divorce isn't easy but sometimes much healthier than a relationship that can't go forward and grow. good luck dude

[Maddie]

Hi, just curious you said this "energy is clearing out emotional blocks" when did you know it was? and were you expecting that? because it shocked me to wake up and immediateley deal with old baggage, and divorce isn't easy but sometimes much healthier than a relationship that can't go forward and grow. good luck dude

 

I agree with your divorce comments 100%, and thanks. As far as when I knew the energy was clearing out emotional blocks, it was pretty fast for me as well. I started doing the cold draw and almost immediately all the old baggage came up for me as well, which is how I figured out what was going on. One day no cold draw, the next day you do it and poof up comes the old baggaeg and you deal with your issues. And no I was not expecting it cause I didn't remember reading about that aspect of it in Chia's book.

Why? have you begun doing the cold draw with the same effect as well?

Edited December 2, 2010 by dmattwads

[Guest tao4joe]

I agree with your divorce comments 100%, and thanks. As far as when I knew the energy was clearing out emotional blocks, it was pretty fast for me as well. I started doing the cold draw and almost immediately all the old baggage came up for me as well, which is how I figured out what was going on. One day no cold draw, the next day you do it and poof up comes the old baggaeg and you deal with your issues. And no I was not expecting it cause I didn't remember reading about that aspect of it in Chia's book.

Why? have you begun doing the cold draw with the same effect as well?

Yeah I started in may of this year, have got some upsurge of qi, I think adding TB or cold draw to power lock was a very powerful combo, this idea of flushing out the garbage has always been an important part. I started meditating (zen style) breath following tens yrs ago, but these taoist exercises are immediate. Im also divorced 3 yrs now.. very good move, love her but we are both much happier. My current girlfriend is into yoga and we are learning from each other, she says taoism should be taught to all young men, it gives women a chance to be real, I guess I agree. have a great weekend!