Politically Correct BS

[goonis38]

Hi there,

I just had a thought or two about somethings. I have been watching this forum and when I first got here, I was like alright a place where people can speak there minds and there wont be a bunch of people fighting and bickering back and forth.

Most of the forums these days have went the way of being overly moderated, and I know moderating is a tough job... But when I heard this was going to be the case here I thought it wouldn't go the way of most forums. I have seen two forums go bad this way. And I think it is sad. When you take away the right to speak your mind because some big baby is going to get his feelings hurt it gets outrageous...

And then it always seems to be two sided like in my case, and in several others I have seen. You always have some guy or gal. And for what ever reason is following you around bugging the ever loving crap out of you. And for some reason no one ever sees the post that came before. When you finally had enough from these douches... Just like a penalty's in the NFL...

I know there has to be line drawn about things, but why not start with the guy that thinks he is intellectually superior to others by always talking down to people, and talking above people's head just to make a point. And following them around and just harassing person to the bone. Instead of just some straight talk, and getting right to the point. And treating others as we want to be treated...

Now I know this is been seen by more than just me, and it's just starting up. You have a chance to save this beautiful forum. You have created or let the politically correct attitude ruin your forum... I would hate to see this here. Great people, that can teach everyone a lot. But at this rate your numbers will dwindle, and not just the bad ones you would like to get rid of. You will lose some great people. And keep the jerk offs...

Look I am a very lady like woman, I don't curse much unless I have just had enough... So you men should really get a enough of these types I am talking about... Now it seems to me like there are a lot of males on here that are extremely feminine and overly sensitive... I have made some great friends, that I pm with. We all know who I am talking about. There seems to be a few like on every forum. But it makes no since to me to not read the post that come before by the trouble makers. And say well you should of just showed self control. Looks like to me trying to run off the wrong people...

All the best intent... I think this forum is great, but is being damaged by this micro managing... Melanie

[Stigweard]

Thank you for posting this ... it is very important for us moderator's to keep this in mind. The spirit of TaoBums is free and wild and finding the balance between having some constraints and safe-keeping that spirit is a curvy and oft-times fuzzy line.

 

 

Hi there,

I just had a thought or two about somethings. I have been watching this forum and when I first got here, I was like alright a place where people can speak there minds and there wont be a bunch of people fighting and bickering back and forth.

Most of the forums these days have went the way of being overly moderated, and I know moderating is a tough job... But when I heard this was going to be the case here I thought it wouldn't go the way of most forums. I have seen two forums go bad this way. And I think it is sad. When you take away the right to speak your mind because some big baby is going to get his feelings hurt it gets outrageous...

And then it always seems to be two sided like in my case, and in several others I have seen. You always have some guy or gal. And for what ever reason is following you around bugging the ever loving crap out of you. And for some reason no one ever sees the post that came before. When you finally had enough from these douches... Just like a penalty's in the NFL...

I know there has to be line drawn about things, but why not start with the guy that thinks he is intellectually superior to others by always talking down to people, and talking above people's head just to make a point. And following them around and just harassing person to the bone. Instead of just some straight talk, and getting right to the point. And treating others as we want to be treated...

Now I know this is been seen by more than just me, and it's just starting up. You have a chance to save this beautiful forum. You have created or let the politically correct attitude ruin your forum... I would hate to see this here. Great people, that can teach everyone a lot. But at this rate your numbers will dwindle, and not just the bad ones you would like to get rid of. You will lose some great people. And keep the jerk offs...

Look I am a very lady like woman, I don't curse much unless I have just had enough... So you men should really get a enough of these types I am talking about... Now it seems to me like there are a lot of males on here that are extremely feminine and overly sensitive... I have made some great friends, that I pm with. We all know who I am talking about. There seems to be a few like on every forum. But it makes no since to me to not read the post that come before by the trouble makers. And say well you should of just showed self control. Looks like to me trying to run off the wrong people...

All the best intent... I think this forum is great, but is being damaged by this micro managing... Melanie

[NorthWide]

Edit:

 

Summed up politics sucks and leave it in the toilet. Dont bring for the other children to share.

 

Reason:

 

The original post seemed lacking and the purpose of it seemed lost, so it will be immortalized for all time as such forgiving if backups dont preserve it.

Edited October 16, 2010 by TheWhiteRabbit

[C T]

One can be politically incorrect and yet not have to resort to swearing and using demeaning language that reflects one's lack of refinement. Being well-mannered in speech and exercising a degree of restraint in word-choices does not equate political correctness.

 

Speaking freely one's mind does not have to include some of the less appealing words you have chosen to use on those(him) whom you have projected your insecurities on.

 

You have only been on this forum a short while and your patience has already been worn thin, and that you have allowed to be done by someone whom you do not even know about, surrendering the reins to a total stranger to dictate your reactions and move you off the lotus seat of harmonious beingness. Those who opt to speak in a mannerly fashion and choose not to use labels ought not to be seen as attempting to be politically correct, but instead as one who tries to behave without passion and aggression, two potentially harmful traits that most cultivators learn to disarm early on in their respective paths.

 

I am afraid you have work to do. And quite a lot of it too. Perhaps a good place to begin is by looking mindfully the words you pick as a means to express your inner self.

 

I hope this has not been misinterpreted as from someone who is 'hounding' you. I assure you i have no such motivation nor the energy. I am merely a blockhead who is trying to improve my own oral and writing skills.

Edited October 15, 2010 by CowTao

[Apech]

Mel is making a very valid point. TTBs is great because don't always agree with each other and there is no party line or officially correct view. When people start bickering it gets very tiresome and you get long threads which just seem to be a series of insults. But I would rather keep some of the name calling (provided no racist or homophobic or anything of that nature) than lose the energy of debate. I've learned an immense amount from being on here just by reading all the links or from the posts themselves - even when I didn't really agree with the ideas.

 

Where people follow others around just to have a go at a particular poster ... well that's just childish and people should look at themselves and their motives.

[goldisheavy]

One can be politically incorrect and yet not have to resort to swearing and using demeaning language that reflects one's lack of refinement. Being well-mannered in speech and exercising a degree of restraint in word-choices does not equate political correctness.

 

While I agree with what you're saying, you have to remember that different people have different communication styles. There are some people who naturally swear a lot and who are at the same time quite refined intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Some people think that swearing is really not that big of a deal. I am one of those people. I also like to swear from time to time. Sometimes I go months without swearing. Other times I swear every day for weeks on end. I don't blame myself for this and I don't strive to "get better" because I don't think what I do is wrong. It's just how I talk. The reason I talk this way is that I feel sometimes I must swear to really correctly and truthfully convey how I feel and not just how I think. I feel like at times self-censoring in that manner is just meaningless and superficial sugar-coating. And of all the sins, I hate superficiality the worst. I know a lot of people who have polite mouths but rude hearts. I have a polite heart but a rude mouth and that suits me fine.

 

So be careful CowTow what you ask for. I have respect you over the years on this forum, and I believe you've at least respect some of the things I said as well. So know this -- your kind of talk has the potential to alienate you from people like me.

 

I detest those who demand perfect decorum at all times. I'll go further. I detest those who prize decorum as a big value in general. I do value decorum, but on the list of values, it is nowhere near the top. It would be lucky to even reach the middle of my list. I think decorum actively interferes in discussion more often than it helps. I also think people are naturally reasonable with their choice of words most of the times, and the few times they do curse, they've had a reason to, and it's best to just listen up.

 

While you are preaching on the morality of talking, you should preach on the morality of listening too. It's a flawed and immoral listener who only wants to hear the sweet sounds. Real listeners hear the curses, the growls, the gnashing of teeth, they hear it all. They don't filter and they don't demand the world to begin filtering itself for their benefit.

 

Speaking freely one's mind does not have to include some of the less appealing words you have chosen to use on those(him) whom you have projected your insecurities on.

 

It sure as fuck helps to use the words to come to your mind at times. The fact that we can't tolerate things like this is a flaw in us.

 

When it comes to cursing I make the following distinctions, and I hope this will be helpful to you:

 

1. Does the person curse all the time? If yes, did they grow up in an environment where this was normal? If yes, they probably don't mean anything bad by it. Advise the person not to eliminate cursing, but to limit cursing to only those occasions that really warrant it, to keep it meaningful. If you curse all the time, curses lose their meaning, as they aren't supposed to be entirely ordinary (and yet they are in many people's dialects). So notice how soft is the advice here? It's not a harsh "stop it, you evil being." It's a soft, "save it for when it really matters" or "I don't mind the cursing, but it's hard to discern the meaning of what you're saying when you interrupt yourself that much." So you're saying you don't mind the cursing, but it's just a matter of convenience and understanding. You'd like to understand your conversational partner, and just knowing that is flattering, so the person is a lot more likely to moderate their cursing in that case. But if you ask for a flat out abortion of cursing, you're likely to get a "fuck you" response. And you'll deserve it too.

 

2. Does the person go a long time without cursing and uses curses tastefully and meaningfully when the context is appropriate? If yes, just leave this person be. Don't change a thing.

 

3. Does the person curse in ways that make no sense, seemingly randomly? This is a problem. Talk to the person to try to find why they are doing that.

 

Obviously you have to use leniency and good judgment. Curses are acknowledged as words of value in the Western and even some Eastern literary worlds. There are lots of literary books all around the world that have curses in them. Don't be so stuck up about the acceptability of words like "fuck" or "cocksucker." Don't get on your moral high horse over such trivialities. When people do something bad, even if they do it politely -- that's a problem. When people do nothing but are verbally noisy, it is a nuisance at most -- practice your Buddhist tolerance here.

 

You have only been on this forum a short while and your patience has already been worn thin, and that you have allowed to be done by someone whom you do not even know about, surrendering the reins to a total stranger to dictate your reactions and move you off the lotus seat of harmonious beingness.

 

I agree with this 100%.

 

Those who opt to speak in a mannerly fashion and choose not to use labels ought not to be seen as attempting to be politically correct, but instead as one who tries to behave without passion and aggression, two potentially harmful traits that most cultivators learn to disarm early on in their respective paths.

 

Ah... this is a tricky one. Any kind of stuckness, or commitment is passion. Being stuck in neutral all the time is also passion. One would think someone of your refined understanding would know this.

 

There are two levels of dispassion. One is dispassion with regard to outer phenomena. This is what you're talking about. It's when someone curses you out, and yet you maintain calm. It's when things go wrong, but you aren't moved off your lotus seat. It's when the whole world crumbles and yet your mind is undisturbed and remains immovable. That's dispassion with regard to outer phenomena.

 

Dispassion with regard to inner phenomena means that when you get angry, you don't try to regulate it. When you do find yourself regulating your anger, you don't try to stop regulating it. When you think about some topic obsessively, you don't correct that. But when you decide to correct yourself and stop the obsessive thinking, you don't correct that correction either. This is something mystical. It means you have enough flexibility to be a little crazy, spontaneous, honest, and uncensored. And it means you have enough wisdom to not turn wildness into a commitment -- this would lead to inner stuckness. So this means sometimes you restrain yourself. Sometimes you don't. And you know both. It means you know that it's OK to care about some things. It's OK to be passionate. But you know when and how to cool down too.

 

Most people don't really understand that they can attain dispassion to inner phenomena as well as the outer. But your dispassion is completely off-track if you're dispassionate toward outer phenomena while you keep your inner world in a rigid fist and have no idea how to let yourself go and be, even if 'to be' means you would actually care about some things and be passionate at times about some things.

 

Middle way between extremes. Don't let dispassion become an extreme. Don't let dispassion become a rigid dogma or the medicine will become the poison.

 

----------------

 

As for what goonis said, I agree with her about moderations and dangers thereof. Most forums turn to shit because of overmoderation. Everyone keeps swearing how not moderating will result in a destruction of the forum, and yet I know forums that were destroyed by overmoderation and I know of *no* forums that were destroyed by lack of moderation. I am talking about people who claim to be sincere participants. There is one exception -- I do know many forums that failed due to spammers taking control of them. I think spammers are a separate issue. Spammers are not rude. Spammers are not politically incorrect. Spammers just want to sell their crap. So when I am talking about not knowing any forums that were ruined by undermoderation, I am talking about sincere participants, even if they are angry, rude, curse a lot, what have you.

Edited October 15, 2010 by goldisheavy

[Marblehead]

I have been too quiet lately. I think I need to find someone to "hound".

 

Not really. Hehehe.

 

But I will say that if we take the opportunity to voice our opinion we should be prepared to expect alternative views and opinions.

 

Discussions are good, arguements are sometimes an efficient way of making one's point. I do think it is not fair to "hound" a member though just because we have different understandings of a subject or concept. Arguements, I think, should be presented in a positive manner rather than trying to present the alternative view as something negative.

 

I think that moderation here is rather excellent. We all are allowed to express our opinions and understandings (as long as it remains respectful of the other members).

 

Of course, I think there are a lot of delusional members on this forum but I have no intention of trying to rain on anyone's parade.

 

Respect of the members is key. No, we don't have to respect the opinion.

[Dreamingawake]

If anyone has a problem with another poster and they really can't resolve or handle it there is always the option of adding them to your ignore list. Suddenly it's like they're not even in the forum. You can do it in way less time than it takes type angry, insulting rants.

 

Personally I've never used it but then I don't really care if someone disagrees with me or thinks they're much smarter than me. That's usually when conversations get much more interesting

[3bob]

I may have been alluded to in passing?

 

Far more importantly when someone (in this case you Mel) directly insult the base or basis of this site and thus many of the people associated with it by using words like, "F@#$ Taoism" (or similar hate crimes) then I believe many would agree that a suspension or termination is pretty much in order...

 

There is yet no, "I'm sorry" to the sites people in general which imo is also in order but of course per the virtues of Taoism (and also other ways) such could never be forced or should not really even be mentioned openly since it is supposed to dawn upon or arise naturally for us...

 

Then again white-washing also sucks.

 

3Bob

Edited October 15, 2010 by 3bob

[Apech]

I may have been alluded to in passing?

 

Far more importantly when someone (in this case you Mel) directly insult the base or basis of this site and thus many of the people associated with it by using words like, "F@#$ Taoism" (or similar hate crimes) then I believe many would agree that a suspension or termination is pretty much in order...

 

 

 

I don't think the Tao or Taoism has the ability to be offended. If some one were to say F*** Taoism then I think they need to think about the effect on themselves of holding such a thought.

 

What is not acceptable is someone saying: so-and-so you are a f***ing c*** why don't you f***ing go and f*** yourself you f***.

 

I believe this may be a quote from the screen play of Reservoir Dogs and would constitute plagiarism, but seriously - personal insults are not ok.

[goonis38]

Thank you for posting this ... it is very important for us moderator's to keep this in mind. The spirit of TaoBums is free and wild and finding the balance between having some constraints and safe-keeping that spirit is a curvy and oft-times fuzzy line.

 

 

 

 

Thank you it was something that was pulling at my heart. I'm glad it came across well, I was afraid it wouldn't be received well.

I think this forum is s true gift to the people, and I know it is hard to moderate. I respect that. Just something I felt...

Take care Melanie

[goonis38]

I have to say the forum has become largely conservative politically slanted.

 

Stepping back from it all I dont talk politics or deal politics anymore because no one has patience anymore. Weve all been self-gratified by our environment. Arguing about who is wrong when we all are isnt going to fix anything. I used to delight in antagonizing people and I have stopped because some people's inner demons will just tear them up if I bend their reality for just a moment to help them see the truth. The truth is both sides are going to kill us and not one of them before the other so it is just a matter of how long everyone deludes themselves into thinking their side is right.

That is the whole matter that is the cause of the problem.

 

If you have been offended by my post you need a tougher human suit.

 

Tough Love

TWR

 

Hi there,

I am not offended by your post, you have me backwards

 

I'm talking about the people who get overly offended and start stalking people around the forum and trying to get there goat on purpose... Mel

 

 

 

[goonis38]

One can be politically incorrect and yet not have to resort to swearing and using demeaning language that reflects one's lack of refinement. Being well-mannered in speech and exercising a degree of restraint in word-choices does not equate political correctness.

 

Speaking freely one's mind does not have to include some of the less appealing words you have chosen to use on those(him) whom you have projected your insecurities on.

 

You have only been on this forum a short while and your patience has already been worn thin, and that you have allowed to be done by someone whom you do not even know about, surrendering the reins to a total stranger to dictate your reactions and move you off the lotus seat of harmonious beingness. Those who opt to speak in a mannerly fashion and choose not to use labels ought not to be seen as attempting to be politically correct, but instead as one who tries to behave without passion and aggression, two potentially harmful traits that most cultivators learn to disarm early on in their respective paths.

 

I am afraid you have work to do. And quite a lot of it too. Perhaps a good place to begin is by looking mindfully the words you pick as a means to express your inner self.

 

I hope this has not been misinterpreted as from someone who is 'hounding' you. I assure you i have no such motivation nor the energy. I am merely a blockhead who is trying to improve my own oral and writing skills.

 

Hi there,

Again I am not talking about you... I know you where on the site where you saw how I was treated by some others, and you said nothing. You call this right. I don't think so...

 

My point is that we should look at the people who are obviously baiting people for what ever reason and look at them also. Not only the person that finally gets enough...

 

You do make a good point I hadn't thought of. It is sad that no one that had been here longer, took up for what was right, Just letting a new person be hounded into the ground. Maybe something to think on, Yes I have plenty to learn myself. But I always take up for people that are being mistreated, and in the end I had to take up for myself. The person that was doing the whole thing for days should of been moderated, my point... Melanie

[goonis38]

Mel is making a very valid point. TTBs is great because don't always agree with each other and there is no party line or officially correct view. When people start bickering it gets very tiresome and you get long threads which just seem to be a series of insults. But I would rather keep some of the name calling (provided no racist or homophobic or anything of that nature) than lose the energy of debate. I've learned an immense amount from being on here just by reading all the links or from the posts themselves - even when I didn't really agree with the ideas.

 

Where people follow others around just to have a go at a particular poster ... well that's just childish and people should look at themselves and their motives.

 

Hi there,

Thank you... At last this is just what I am getting at. "Following people around and having a go at them, for no good reason." This is what I see happening. And then the person that is baiting people never gets moderated, it is only the one that after days of being done this way gets enough...

Thanks for understanding... Melanie

P.S. I also think this is a great forum, full of beautiful people...

[goonis38]

While I agree with what you're saying, you have to remember that different people have different communication styles. There are some people who naturally swear a lot and who are at the same time quite refined intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Some people think that swearing is really not that big of a deal. I am one of those people. I also like to swear from time to time. Sometimes I go months without swearing. Other times I swear every day for weeks on end. I don't blame myself for this and I don't strive to "get better" because I don't think what I do is wrong. It's just how I talk. The reason I talk this way is that I feel sometimes I must swear to really correctly and truthfully convey how I feel and not just how I think. I feel like at times self-censoring in that manner is just meaningless and superficial sugar-coating. And of all the sins, I hate superficiality the worst. I know a lot of people who have polite mouths but rude hearts. I have a polite heart but a rude mouth and that suits me fine.

Amen... I agree with every single word you have wrote here. I'll tell you I'm an Army brat, and raised in Texas... But I also am very lady like. But I know how to take care of myself if needed...lol You have wrote this to someone else. I will not add anything more here. I will respond at the bottom where you where talking to me...

 

So be careful CowTow what you ask for. I have respect you over the years on this forum, and I believe you've at least respect some of the things I said as well. So know this -- your kind of talk has the potential to alienate you from people like me.

 

I detest those who demand perfect decorum at all times. I'll go further. I detest those who prize decorum as a big value in general. I do value decorum, but on the list of values, it is nowhere near the top. It would be lucky to even reach the middle of my list. I think decorum actively interferes in discussion more often than it helps. I also think people are naturally reasonable with their choice of words most of the times, and the few times they do curse, they've had a reason to, and it's best to just listen up.

 

While you are preaching on the morality of talking, you should preach on the morality of listening too. It's a flawed and immoral listener who only wants to hear the sweet sounds. Real listeners hear the curses, the growls, the gnashing of teeth, they hear it all. They don't filter and they don't demand the world to begin filtering itself for their benefit.

 

 

 

It sure as fuck helps to use the words to come to your mind at times. The fact that we can't tolerate things like this is a flaw in us.

 

When it comes to cursing I make the following distinctions, and I hope this will be helpful to you:

 

1. Does the person curse all the time? If yes, did they grow up in an environment where this was normal? If yes, they probably don't mean anything bad by it. Advise the person not to eliminate cursing, but to limit cursing to only those occasions that really warrant it, to keep it meaningful. If you curse all the time, curses lose their meaning, as they aren't supposed to be entirely ordinary (and yet they are in many people's dialects). So notice how soft is the advice here? It's not a harsh "stop it, you evil being." It's a soft, "save it for when it really matters" or "I don't mind the cursing, but it's hard to discern the meaning of what you're saying when you interrupt yourself that much." So you're saying you don't mind the cursing, but it's just a matter of convenience and understanding. You'd like to understand your conversational partner, and just knowing that is flattering, so the person is a lot more likely to moderate their cursing in that case. But if you ask for a flat out abortion of cursing, you're likely to get a "fuck you" response. And you'll deserve it too.

 

2. Does the person go a long time without cursing and uses curses tastefully and meaningfully when the context is appropriate? If yes, just leave this person be. Don't change a thing.

 

3. Does the person curse in ways that make no sense, seemingly randomly? This is a problem. Talk to the person to try to find why they are doing that.

 

Obviously you have to use leniency and good judgment. Curses are acknowledged as words of value in the Western and even some Eastern literary worlds. There are lots of literary books all around the world that have curses in them. Don't be so stuck up about the acceptability of words like "fuck" or "cocksucker." Don't get on your moral high horse over such trivialities. When people do something bad, even if they do it politely -- that's a problem. When people do nothing but are verbally noisy, it is a nuisance at most -- practice your Buddhist tolerance here.

 

 

 

I agree with this 100%.

 

 

 

Ah... this is a tricky one. Any kind of stuckness, or commitment is passion. Being stuck in neutral all the time is also passion. One would think someone of your refined understanding would know this.

 

There are two levels of dispassion. One is dispassion with regard to outer phenomena. This is what you're talking about. It's when someone curses you out, and yet you maintain calm. It's when things go wrong, but you aren't moved off your lotus seat. It's when the whole world crumbles and yet your mind is undisturbed and remains immovable. That's dispassion with regard to outer phenomena.

 

Dispassion with regard to inner phenomena means that when you get angry, you don't try to regulate it. When you do find yourself regulating your anger, you don't try to stop regulating it. When you think about some topic obsessively, you don't correct that. But when you decide to correct yourself and stop the obsessive thinking, you don't correct that correction either. This is something mystical. It means you have enough flexibility to be a little crazy, spontaneous, honest, and uncensored. And it means you have enough wisdom to not turn wildness into a commitment -- this would lead to inner stuckness. So this means sometimes you restrain yourself. Sometimes you don't. And you know both. It means you know that it's OK to care about some things. It's OK to be passionate. But you know when and how to cool down too.

 

Most people don't really understand that they can attain dispassion to inner phenomena as well as the outer. But your dispassion is completely off-track if you're dispassionate toward outer phenomena while you keep your inner world in a rigid fist and have no idea how to let yourself go and be, even if 'to be' means you would actually care about some things and be passionate at times about some things.

 

Middle way between extremes. Don't let dispassion become an extreme. Don't let dispassion become a rigid dogma or the medicine will become the poison.

 

----------------

 

As for what goonis said, I agree with her about moderations and dangers thereof. Most forums turn to shit because of overmoderation. Everyone keeps swearing how not moderating will result in a destruction of the forum, and yet I know forums that were destroyed by overmoderation and I know of *no* forums that were destroyed by lack of moderation. I am talking about people who claim to be sincere participants. There is one exception -- I do know many forums that failed due to spammers taking control of them. I think spammers are a separate issue. Spammers are not rude. Spammers are not politically incorrect. Spammers just want to sell their crap. So when I am talking about not knowing any forums that were ruined by undermoderation, I am talking about sincere participants, even if they are angry, rude, curse a lot, what have you.

 

Hi there,

You put things very well, wow... I know I'm new and I respect those that have been here a long time... I always try and treat people the way I want to be treated. So I guess if I would of been hounding someone the way I was being done, I would expect someone to chew my butt off also...lol But I try and not make a point of making people made...

On my point on the over moderation... I just know it gets to the point that people will be kicked off for every little thing. And then there is the thing I always see. It happens in life also. No one ever seems to see what the person did to make a person behave in such away. They only seem to see the reaction of the person that had enough. I have an eight year old. And it is the same at School, a little boy or girl will be picking and picking maybe for the whole year. And then when she finally gets enough and lets that little kid have it. This is all anyone can see. So I know this is how it goes... But something to think on...

I also want to thank the good people of the forum for having me. I enjoy the good positive energy that comes from this forum. There will always be trouble makers, I am not one... I was just taking up for myself, as I see many are only doing.

When I first came here not to long ago, I was so happy you didn't have a moderation team. I have been on forums no lie. If the person running the forum thinks the word crazy is offensive. Even if used in the way like "that dog looks crazy in that hat". It will be changed to mentally Ill automatically... Not good.

Any how thanks for the reply... Take care Mel

[Non]

Now it seems to me like there are a lot of males on here that are extremely feminine and overly sensitive...

 

Come on now is that really necessary?

Edited October 15, 2010 by Non

[goonis38]

I have been too quiet lately. I think I need to find someone to "hound".

 

Not really. Hehehe.

Hi there,

your so cute you don't hound any body that I have seen, And if you are it's in a sweet way...

But I will say that if we take the opportunity to voice our opinion we should be prepared to expect alternative views and opinions.

 

Discussions are good, arguements are sometimes an efficient way of making one's point. I do think it is not fair to "hound" a member though just because we have different understandings of a subject or concept. Arguements, I think, should be presented in a positive manner rather than trying to present the alternative view as something negative.

Yes this is what I'm getting at just staying after them until you get a reaction... I always try and stay positive, I can usually turn a negative into a positive. But sometimes you just can't...

 

I think that moderation here is rather excellent. We all are allowed to express our opinions and understandings (as long as it remains respectful of the other members).

Moderating is a very hard job, and I know it is thankless, so thank you guys... I know the people that have been chosen are good people, that have a tough job... I just loved it without it...

 

Of course, I think there are a lot of delusional members on this forum but I have no intention of trying to rain on anyone's parade.

 

Respect of the members is key. No, we don't have to respect the opinion.

I think this forum has a great amount of positive energy coming from it... So the positive is out weighing the negative. I just need to concentrate on that as for myself. Keep in the threads that are positive and friendly. And if someone starts stalking and badgering me. I will move along. So I will do my part to try and avoid all this to the best that I can. I didn't reply to the guy that keep after me for days. And then I gave in, my mistake. I won't make it again...

Thanks my friends... Melanie

Edited October 15, 2010 by goonis38

[ralis]

I may have been alluded to in passing?

 

Far more importantly when someone (in this case you Mel) directly insult the base or basis of this site and thus many of the people associated with it by using words like, "F@#$ Taoism" (or similar hate crimes) then I believe many would agree that a suspension or termination is pretty much in order...

 

 

 

3Bob

 

Obviously, you have no clue as to what hate crimes are. I suggest you read this brief overview and rethink what you don't understand.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_crime

[goonis38]

Obviously, you have no clue as to what hate crimes are. I suggest you read this brief overview and rethink what you don't understand.

 

 

http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Hate_crime

 

LOL... Ralis... Mel

Edited October 15, 2010 by goonis38

[goldisheavy]

I just need to concentrate on that as for myself. Keep in the threads that are positive and friendly. And if someone starts stalking and badgering me. I will move along.

 

I think that your attitude is fine in the near term. However, long term you will need to face your demons. You can't just keep running away forever. At the ultimate level of insight the demonic appearance of a stalker is a product of your own mind, and being afraid of stalkers is like being afraid of yourself, like being afraid of your own mind's functioning. This is a hard pill to swallow, but those who do swallow it, find great freedom, peace of mind, and confidence.

 

Imagine you have a favorite color and a color that you hate. What if you make your eye no longer able to see the color you hate? What if you make your eye see all the other colors as the hues of the one color you like the most? Do you know what I call that? I don't call it an improvement. I call it blindness.

 

Healthy senses can perceive the entire array of perception. Cutting pieces out of that array due to preferences leads to blindness and weakness. A skin that cannot sense pain is a numb skin. If you sometimes feel uncomfortable, that's only a sign that you're healthy and there is no need to immediately squash the discomfort or move away. And weakness developers because ultimately the mind is invincible and the array of perception cannot be curtailed, so the intent to curtail it results in failure along with a lot of heat and friction, which leads to weakness.

 

There is a way to manage perceptions and to avoid the worst sensations most of the time. But that way doesn't involve running at the first hint of negativity. That way involves developing tolerance and wisdom.

Edited October 15, 2010 by goldisheavy

[gendao]

Come on now is that really necessary?

Absolutely! See how even women are sick of feminized men now??? Even though that's how men have gotten brainwashed to believe it's what women want? Goonis38 should be commended for her brutal honesty here..

Edited October 15, 2010 by vortex

[Taomeow]

Those who have people in their lives who look up to them, e.g. children or students, might want to check their chosen style of communication against one simple guideline:

 

would you be proud or ashamed if your children or your students were to read what you write here?..

[Stigweard]

Our esteemed, benevolent, and mysteriously absent dictator has this to say:

 

Sean's Note on Profanity:

To me I think it might boil down to: is this person engaging in an authentic, non-violent discussion with this community?

 

If someone is cursing AT someone (fuck you) or even about someone's opinion (your opinion is bullshit), that is a clear problem.

 

A bit more subtly, if someone's posts are just absolutely overloaded with vulgarity without any attempt to contribute or engage in a dialogue, then I would say that is a problem and could stand a private warning (hey buddy, what's going on with all the cursing and ranting, can we cool it a bit? there are pretty ladies here).

 

But if cursing is just a part of how someone expresses themselves (i fucking love this song!) then to me that is totally acceptable and sometimes even awesome.

[3bob]

Obviously, you have no clue as to what hate crimes are. I suggest you read this brief overview and rethink what you don't understand.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_crime

 

Ralis,

 

I meant words filled with hate and vemon, not physical hate crimes per-se.

 

(although such can also cause damages)

 

So it's no surprize my misuse of the term was taken other than what I meant.

 

Om

[3bob]

Our esteemed, benevolent, and mysteriously absent dictator has this to say:

 

Sean's Note on Profanity:

 

Ok Stig, well quoted.