Sexual Attraction and Stretching by Meditation

[hagar]

Right, so far I have not felt any "Drew effect" from my meditation yet..

 

However, if there is one, I also suspect that the critical mass tipping point is filling your qi (converted at middle dantian) up. When this happens, your appetite should decrease...and your heart chakra should probably also develop well. Effilang may have reached this point now.

 

Whereas I think that I have filled my jing up, but not my qi yet. My sex drive is now well under control and I can "see" a golden jing ring filled in the center (signifying my jing is "full")...but I feel my heart chakra is still closed and I still have a normal appetite (signifying my qi is not).

 

Anyhow, it would be interested to see if I also experience the "Drew effect" once my qi fills up - and verify the hypothesis here..

 

V

 

This is interesting, as it is not my experience. Yet I'm not as focused on the Jing aspect of cultivation as you. How has this focus reflected in your practice?

 

My experience, especially in Nei Dan is one of waxing and waning of energies, not accumulation on a linear axis.

 

In relation to gender, this may also be different. Women have their blood/earth element reach their solar plexus, and men their LDT. This affects the cultivation of Jing.

 

I'm going into a second puberty physically these days due to practice, so I'm pretty fascinated by the hormonal aspect of cultivation. Acne, emotional ups and downs, intense energy, overwhelming sensations.

Its actually abit scary. Like...puberty was.

 

h

[Maddie]

I'd say I have noticed this effect. I work at a pizza joint and all the young pizza girls get very flirty. If I do release I notice they tend to get less flirty, and then the longer I retain and build up my jing and chi the more flirty they get again.

[Mark Foote]

 

Second question:

I have noticed that there is two ways i can stretch:

 

1: Normal physical stretching of the muscular system, after which i can perform extreme bends and splits and so on.

2: Only meditation ie: for an hour. And the effect? - I can do the same extreme bends and splits as if having done 30 mins of physical stretching. I can jump right into full lotus, bend into a pretzel and all that good stuff. In fact i dare say meditation is more effective O_O.

 

How if in anyway does Qi / Jing act on the muscle and tendon system to help stretching and flexibility, without actually physically stretching the tissues?

 

I'd like to hear theories from everyone who has an opinion : )

Excuse my grammar and writing. I can't write after i meditate : \

 

If you are just sitting, then things tend to settle lower in the body. Things settling lower, the stretches initiated between the sacrum and the pelvis through the motion of the sacrum bear more weight. These stretches generate activity in the muscles of the legs and the pelvis, and the alternation of stretch and activity allows the movement of breath to find its natural course with a lower center of balance. The ability to feel opened up through a lower center of balance in the natural movement of breath continues when you get up.

 

That would be my explanation of why the meditation leaves you more flexible, even though no overt stretching occurs.

 

I think relinquishment is attractive to people, the determination to give something you want up for a perceived higher good is attractive to people, and maybe women are more sensitive to this than guys; I would guess.

[Mark Foote]

(whoops!- )

Edited October 28, 2010 by Mark Foote

[JohnC]

I'm going to siphon a few quotes of note and mentions of experience into this here post.

 

 

 

"My wife suggested we dispense with the generalizations of what women want or do not want, and simply be clear that people with painfully low ego strength are not attractive to themselves or others. This condition sends out an unmistakable vibe, all esoterica aside. I used to think that if I just manifested my gentleness, nonviolence, and sensitivity (crying at movies) that this would be enough to secure an intimate relationship. What I failed to realize is that personal power and self-acceptance is far more attractive to healthy people. Unfortunately, low ego strength, and self-loathing in general, has become an epidemic social pathology in most consumer cultures.

Kill your television!"

 

--- Blasto.

 

 

 

"... The thing that Drew does isn't really not masturbating, it's taking the sexual energy and bringing it up to his third eye. Women do like third eye men."

 

---- Witch.

 

 

 

"We attract people into our lives based on our own deep subconscious programs. If you think you are a loser you will attract losers. If you know you are a god you will attract goddesses.

 

Being a nice and good hearted person is one of the most potent aphrodisiacs out there. Have the qualities of the heart that you wish to find in others and they will find you."

 

----ShaktiMama.

 

 

 

"What attracts women is confidence.

 

It doesn't matter what you [do], as long as you do it confidently.

 

And it isn't just women, people in general are attracted to confidence. Part of being confident is being comfortable in your own skin. It's having that self stability. Which is something that meditation can bring you, conveniently enough."

 

--- Sloppy Zhang.

 

 

"The goal of celibacy is much the same. Divert energy from sexual functioning to rehabilitation and growth of metabolism. This happens two fold. It increase metabolic functioning of the regenerative aspects of the physical frame, and secondarily, retains the male hormones and allows the testosterone and adrenal functioning to store up excess. Much like when we were animals, the more hormones we retained, the more energy we had to fight off other bucks. And then have more sperm to attract females for mating."

 

 

--- Drew Hempel.

 

Drew has a better, far morere pertinent quote out there in the ether with regards to girls being very attracted to energy.... but I can't find it.

 

 

 

This.

 

 

I get turned on in response to my girl getting turned on. Likewise if she gets close to orgasming, it can tip me over the edge and I cum. So there is definitely a energetic connection/interaction going on between people at all times.

 

I think too, that it's all about your relationship to yourself. If your doing things to get something, or because you think it'll get you happiness, self love, etc (going to get women, so that through their attraction to you you feel love for yourself, working hard at work so that through accomplishment you feel good about yourself) you are making it hard on yourself to get it and too... it won't get you anything as the feelings are on the inside in the first place.

 

That all emotions generate internally, and you can relax meaning and be happy with everything... which tends to get you what you want, in my experience.

 

But it's a bit of a leap of faith to let go of strategies/manipulation/insecurities and just be your self.

 

The way I see it is that you are imprisoned in a cage of smoke, that your mind makes real through emotions connected to meaning. Be present to the emotion (disconnect the meaning/past/bullshit), and you are free to test the cage, and find that you will push right through it.

 

John

[JohnC]

 

 

I just woke up this morning and I had this dream that I feel gave me an important insight. There is the heart center which lies in the Middle Dan Tien, and the sexual center which is closer to the domain of the Lower Dan Tien.

It has been my observation that people with blocked heart centers tend to be more focused on sex, while people who have blocked sexual centers seem to be more focused on the emotional aspect of relationships.

Think of it as a PVC pipe with water flowing through it. Now lets say I drilled two holes in this pipe. As long as both holes are clean water is going to flow out of both holes more or less equally. Now lets say that one hole becomes clogged or blocked. This will have the effect of raising the water pressure in the remaining hole.

So lets say one has their heart center blocked. Then that would seem to indicate that more pressure would tend to flow out of the sexaul center. Now it would seem that for what ever reason that a lot of men (and of course some women too) tend to be more straight foward "mission minded" less emotional in regards to sex as compared to women. Women on the other hand tend to be a little more problematic when it comes to achieving an orgasm than men (and usually are more sexually hesitant), but also seem to emphasise the emotional component of a relation ship then men.

This would suggest to me that in general men have more problems with blockages in their heart center, and women have more problems with blockages in their sexual center (and yes I know there are always exceptions). The man with a blockage in the heart center would have more pressure trying to escape their sexual center, and vice versa with the woman. It is easy to see how this would not only create a great deal of internal frustration (sex obsessed man, emotional woman) but inter-relationship issues as well. To the woman the man would seem to not care enough about issues of the heart, and to the man it would seem hard to get into the womans pants.

In my observations on homosexual couples, women who have become lesbians often tell me that their relationships with women are much more soft and tender than with men. Homosexual men seem to be highly promiscuous changing partners often. This behavior tends to reinforce my theory on where blockages tend to predominate in the various genders.

A third category might be the serious scholar / nerd who might be blocked in both the lower centers and only open in the Upper Dan Tien, the kind of person who seems uninterested in either sex or emotional relationships, but only in study and contemplation.

So then I suppose that the idea state is of course to have all areas unblocked so that in all aspects of life we remiain well blanaced. Yet if in a certain aspect of life we do seem to be unblanaced, then understanding why we have such an imbalance is likely the first set in finding a solution to that imbalance."

 

I agree with this in general.

 

Tantra even speaks of that women's heart is her positive pole and mens penis is his positive pole.

 

John

[Maddie]

I agree with this in general.

 

Tantra even speaks of that women's heart is her positive pole and mens penis is his positive pole.

 

John

 

Hmmmm interesting....

[onlyindreams]

great great thread... had me thinking in new ways and inspired me to rid my life of more distractions as well as to meditate

 

so here's a bump

[onlyindreams]

I agree with this in general.

 

Tantra even speaks of that women's heart is her positive pole and mens penis is his positive pole.

 

John

 

Curious to hear more about this specific topic

[Maddie]

Curious to hear more about this specific topic

 

Then check out what I pasted at the top of this page

[vtrader125]

Bumping up an old post. The reason is that I'm the total opposite of the poster, feel invisible in social situations especially with women. 

Its like I have no presence.Now I am not wanting this change for ego reasons to say "yeha look at all these women checking me out" but always felt that this is not right. Unlike the poster never get approached. And no I am not doing this with the expectation of women approaching me. 

 

Where can I start?

[Yasjua]

Bumping up an old post. The reason is that I'm the total opposite of the poster, feel invisible in social situations especially with women. 

Its like I have no presence.Now I am not wanting this change for ego reasons to say "yeha look at all these women checking me out" but always felt that this is not right. Unlike the poster never get approached. And no I am not doing this with the expectation of women approaching me. 

 

Where can I start?

 

Figure out what fuels your personal confidence. Focus on that. Make your life about something other than getting people to notice or talk to you. Passion, dreams, drive, an honorable sense of commitment to something, a competitive instinct that relishes in success no matter who is achieving it. These are attractive qualities. Grow. Learn. Think. Energize yourself. Soar above your prior concerns. Live for something bigger than your self-esteem. Feel the flow of your ambition. Achieve emotional independence. Elevate yourself beyond mere hormonal reactions to things. And to bring it full circle: you need fuel for your personal confidence. Passion and commitment are mind-bogglingly sexy. Best of luck!

[vtrader125]

Figure out what fuels your personal confidence. Focus on that. Make your life about something other than getting people to notice or talk to you. Passion, dreams, drive, an honorable sense of commitment to something, a competitive instinct that relishes in success no matter who is achieving it. These are attractive qualities. Grow. Learn. Think. Energize yourself. Soar above your prior concerns. Live for something bigger than your self-esteem. Feel the flow of your ambition. Achieve emotional independence. Elevate yourself beyond mere hormonal reactions to things. And to bring it full circle: you need fuel for your personal confidence. Passion and commitment are mind-bogglingly sexy. Best of luck!

Thanks, but what does this mean, I get the idea of not validating life on external things?

How do you get that when you've been a screw up and failed a lot?

[vtrader125]

Also what is the opposite feeling of lack, missing out?

I'm learning to accept who I am, I never really been a people attractor, no friends, no gfs. People do avoid me.

Edited May 22, 2015 by vtrader125

[amoyaan]

Vtrader, read "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabana, great book, highly recommended to anyone http://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-Magnetism/dp/1591845947/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

 

I also suggest doing some metta/loving-kindness meditation if you don't already. Radiate love. There's nothing the worlds needs more and people will respond to that 

[noonespecial]

In a world full of men with nothing to offer beyond watching the basketball game over a 12 pack of Coors Light (not that there is anything wrong with that), an individual who works (not pontificates) on the cultivation of spiritual force, whether love, wisdom or power stands out in any room or gathering, over the weekend I found myself in a couple of airports and I felt the eyes of nearly everyone on me - it almost led to a sense of brooding paranoia TBH. Interestingly, out of everyone, a kind looking Muslim fellow with his family seemed to really pick up on what was going on with me, gently smiled and waved...anyhow I would figure the intuition of females would inherently pick up this energy, thus the attraction. For the record, I do not practice any particular love meditation or things of that nature.

Edited May 22, 2015 by noonespecial

[vtrader125]

I'm thinking first I need to rid of this expectations and needs of validations from others, that is killed my energy the most. How do you guys do this?

I want to get to a point where it does not matter how badly people treat me that I will have a solid energy.

[Yinja]

Hi guys,

 

Can anyone maybe put some light on the feeling Effilang describes in his original post?

"Love in the middle dan tien"

 

I am very familiar with it and would like to know what it is exactly, is it love? what kind of love?

my feeling? someone elses feeling? etc

 

I do too feel it in a stronger way next to specific and some times random women.

 

Thanks in advance

Edited May 25, 2015 by Yinja

[Guest Apkallu]

I have always been successful with women and I have nevertheless to admit that when kundalini and prana arose, I immediatly felt that they were much more looking at me, not to say feeling me even at a long distance.

 

Not so obvioulsy as the initial poster, but a substantial change for sure.

It was not due to a change of posture as I've been behaving as an alpha male for long.

 

To me, it has to do with the energetic body spreading (aura) and that female are programmed to find the best possible mate for procreation.

What better criteria than the most energetic ones could we expect from a biological point of view ?

[DreamBliss]

Drew-san and everyone else : ),

 

Do you have any theories on why Jing makes you a chic magnet?

 

It is truly perplexing to me.

The more i meditate the more girls can't resist me. Why does this happen?

 

I walk into a room and every girl starts flirting with me, they are literally drawn to me like a magnet.

Big ones fat ones, chubby ones, sexy ones, amazing ones.

 

I sit down on a table and before i know it every girl in the room is sitting at my table trying to take turns to talk to me and flirt with me.

And i mean in an absolutely shameless way, they don't care who is watching or listening, they will queue up and wait in line with a number.

 

I am very used to women and this sort of pack behavior is something entirely new to me. It is almost like they are under a spell?

What is the energetic theory behind this attraction? Any hypotheses? Is there an exchange going on?

 

Also i have noticed that when i am in a room full of women i feel more love in the middle dan tien, but when a man comes into the room all the action goes to my lower dan tien and sexual center. Is he de-converting my Qi to Jing?

 

Why do only males have this effect on my lower center while women have a more prominent effect on my heart center?

Are women more naturally MDT centered than LDT? - I feel like i have to cross my legs when a man comes into the room because my lower center feels like its being sucked or drained.

 

Second question:

I have noticed that there is two ways i can stretch:

 

1: Normal physical stretching of the muscular system, after which i can perform extreme bends and splits and so on.

2: Only meditation ie: for an hour. And the effect? - I can do the same extreme bends and splits as if having done 30 mins of physical stretching. I can jump right into full lotus, bend into a pretzel and all that good stuff. In fact i dare say meditation is more effective O_O.

 

How if in anyway does Qi / Jing act on the muscle and tendon system to help stretching and flexibility, without actually physically stretching the tissues?

 

I'd like to hear theories from everyone who has an opinion : )

Excuse my grammar and writing. I can't write after i meditate : \

 

I think this is coming more from your awareness and present-mindedness. You are more in tune with everything and everyone around you. Maybe you are comfortable with who you are. That, it seems to me, is what would draw them.

[vtrader125]

After several weeks of meditation and xingyi, I still am that invisible person. Not that I was expecting anything, but for example after my xingy training, when I felt more assertive in my presence and more vibrant, I made eye contact with many women and tried to smile at the them as I walked by, but got nothing. Yet I see some of them reacting to other guys. 

I guess my question to the poster who already have this magnatic quality you most have other things like looks, and have been practising your chi for many years?

I'm thinking that I never been successful with women my expectations should be not much.

Edited October 4, 2015 by vtrader125

[Arya]

It's the metta meditation 

 

loving-kindness emanating from the heart center. Chicks dig it.

 

They want your attention. You can get them to give you free stuff and gifts.

 

Well, they'll be begging to have intercourse with you or even your presence. They'll behave irrationally and in strange ways. They'll shamelessly come near you with their womanly assets.

 

The thing is, what I do is convert ALL lower emotional energy into love now. It's a bit hard to do if you ejaculate too often though but it takes me sometimes a few days to some weeks for making my body into love. Yes, I make my body love.

 

It's easy, just do metta meditation throughout the day. If you've saved up alot of jing by not ejaculating then the bliss will be all the way more.

Edited October 4, 2015 by Arya

[vtrader125]

Arya, so I just get into a meditative state and repeat the mantras?

 

Like "May I be loving, may I be safe, may i be healty, happy, fearless...etc"

Then move to second position " May you be........."

Then third person "May we all..."

 

Just by doing this I should become not invisible anymore???

[Ell]

This will solve nothing, and nobody will listen, but the great secret to sex and dating is that the answer to any question about girls is, "depends on the girl" (and vice versa regarding questions about guys).

[vtrader125]

This will solve nothing, and nobody will listen, but the great secret to sex and dating is that the answer to any question about girls is, "depends on the girl" (and vice versa regarding questions about guys).

If this is the case then it sound like some guys will have more, some guys will have less and then like some guys will have none.

So be it.