Qi and preservation after sex

[Guest tao4joe]

I was curious if anyone else felt it tough at times to calm yourself after a deep sexual session, I have been able to retain my essence for a week 7-8 days at a time but my girlfriend likes to have sex 4-5 times a week and I sometimes have to be alone immediately afterward to powerlock or pull the energy up and away from my sexual center. Shes a lil p.o.'d that I get up and meditate alone. Does this eventually go away? Been at the cultivation for about 6 months and its changed my life in so many ways, so not gonna stop but need a middle ground I guess. Do women here who practices qi cultivation have the same need for alone time after sex? it was alot easier when I was single but I knew a woman was what was missing in my life. thanks, Joe

[RiverSnake]

Recently i read a book called Tantric Sex for Men by Diane Richardson.

 

-It teaches you how to have "cool rather than hot sex and use it is a form spiritual healing for both partners.

 

-It is the best book i've read on sexual kung fu. Many of the things you mentioned such as getting too hot during and after the deed, and safely retaining jing she talks about.

 

-Might want to check it out.

 

-Peace

Edited November 7, 2010 by Tao Apprentice

[dawei]

I'm at a 5 day Medical Qigong session in Fort Lauderdale and ironically I struck up a conversation with a guy who practices retaining the essence and I asked him to describe it since I've read Mantak's books but never pursue it. He seem to suggest two things in general:

1. If you do the preserving method, you need to do the meditative aspect while still with your lady. He said to "lose the end game" notion and think of the entire experience as one whole.

2. He also felt that one doesn't need to do the preservation method all the time since he claimed you can re-claim it afterwards with her; again, no "end game" exists in this sense.

 

He seemed to say the faster you get up and go the worse your treating your body; well... and the lady possibly too.

 

I might suggest a middle ground is less than 4-5 times a week; she may not be aware of how taxing that can be to your Jing Qi. Good luck.

[Pietro]

cuddle with your girlfriend a lot. Sleep tight, hug. All this will release oxitocine, which will balance out the testosterone. Also you can have sex without getting so exited. Don't reach the point where you need to do the power lock. Just keep it smooth. It is easier if you explain to her why you might need to change your sexual style. At least some time.

[markern]

cuddle with your girlfriend a lot. Sleep tight, hug. All this will release oxitocine, which will balance out the testosterone. Also you can have sex without getting so exited. Don't reach the point where you need to do the power lock. Just keep it smooth. It is easier if you explain to her why you might need to change your sexual style. At least some time.

 

Yes cuddling will help a lot to balance you out. Read this: reuniting.info

 

Good to see you her again Pietro! I am curious how much active moving is possible while still keeping the energy cool. The karezza approach advocates hardly any movement at all.

[Pietro]

Good to see you her again Pietro! I am curious how much active moving is possible while still keeping the energy cool. The karezza approach advocates hardly any movement at all.

 

Thanks, me too. From when I read "the book" I haven't had any karezza-compliant relationship.

[surfingbudda]

here is a great article I think that could really help your problem, he describes a method that could really be useful, I don't quite know if it is tantric, but might be related to tantric practices. It involves learning how to express the flow of energy upward through you body rather than out your genital. http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/tiredness-after-sex/

Also Chunyi Lin describes this process also, but doesn't go into great detail how to achieve it. http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/16067-interview-with-chunyi-lin-of-spring-forest-qigong/

He says that sex and orgasm can deplete qi, but also if done correctly, says " ,At the right level you can utilize the moment of orgasm to take that sexual energy and move it up through your heart and to your mind to develop "wisdom energy" which is very beneficial. So basicly sex can in fact be used to further develop one's chi by learning to control your orgasm. The first link I provided is descriptive and helpful for someone to achieve this.

- best of luck

[surfingbudda]

heres a Taoist website I found which also describes the importance of internal orgasm instead of outward. It says if orgasm is outward there is a brief feeling of sexual pleasure, and then loss of sexual energy. If it orgasm is internal and directed up throughout the energy channels then the entire body is filled with blissful pleasure which can last much longer and can lead to spiritual bliss and development. It says outward ejaculation should only really occur when fertilization is intended. Heres the websitehttp://www.universal-tao.com/FAQ/healing_love.html. But don't quote me on any of this, do your research and test it out yourself, no knowledge can replace direct wisdom through experience

[Pietro]

heres a Taoist website I found which also describes the importance of internal orgasm instead of outward. It says if orgasm is outward there is a brief feeling of sexual pleasure, and then loss of sexual energy. If it orgasm is internal and directed up throughout the energy channels then the entire body is filled with blissful pleasure which can last much longer and can lead to spiritual bliss and development. It says outward ejaculation should only really occur when fertilization is intended. Heres the website

http://www.universal-tao.com/FAQ/healing_love.html

 

. But don't quote me on any of this, do your research and test it out yourself, no knowledge can replace direct wisdom through experience

 

Thank you, and welcome. Have you tried it? What were your experiences?

 

P.

[Guest tao4joe]

I'm at a 5 day Medical Qigong session in Fort Lauderdale and ironically I struck up a conversation with a guy who practices retaining the essence and I asked him to describe it since I've read Mantak's books but never pursue it. He seem to suggest two things in general:

1. If you do the preserving method, you need to do the meditative aspect while still with your lady. He said to "lose the end game" notion and think of the entire experience as one whole.

2. He also felt that one doesn't need to do the preservation method all the time since he claimed you can re-claim it afterwards with her; again, no "end game" exists in this sense.

 

He seemed to say the faster you get up and go the worse your treating your body; well... and the lady possibly too.

 

I might suggest a middle ground is less than 4-5 times a week; she may not be aware of how taxing that can be to your Jing Qi. Good luck.

dawei, I think I should be doing pl while were together, thats true.

The end game in mind is definetely not an issue anymore, But very important for proper use of energy. thanks

[surfingbudda]

Hi pietro,

No I have not yet tried any of these techniques. This discussion has intrigued my own interests in the topic and led me to conduct my own research which I will continue to pursue. These are just some sites I felt begin to delve in this concept of internal orgasm which is very new to me. Speaking of research I found this great interview with Mantak Chia, I plan on reading some of his books on taoist sexual practices.

 

AUTHOR QUESTION AND ANSWER

What is sexual Kung Fu?

Sexual Kung Fu simply means sexual practice. Sexual Kung Fu is a tradition developed over thousands of years of specific techniques men can use to experience multiple and whole body orgasms, cultivate their sexual energy for improving their health and creativity as well as to pleasure and satisfy their partners.

Can anyone become multi-orgasmic? How long does it take?

Yes, as long as they understand and practice the techniques. How long it takes for a man to experience a multiple orgasm and then to become regularly orgasmic depends on two things: his sexual strength and sexual sensitivity. Some men may experience it the first time they try, while others will take several weeks or even months to become multi-orgasmic. But any man can become multi-orgasmic as long as he learns to separate between his orgasm and his ejaculation.

What is the difference between orgasm and ejaculation?

Surprising as it may sound to many men, orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing, although they occur very close together in most men. The Taoists and great lovers the world over have known this fact for thousands of years, but it was not until the 1940s that it was recorded in the scientific literature by the famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey. In short, orgasm is the contraction or pulsation that you feel at the peak of sexual arousal and that floods your body with pleasure. Your heart rate also rises about fifty beats per minute. Ejaculation is simply the lower spinal reflex that often follows orgasm and results in the ejection of sperm from your penis. Many men have experienced orgasm without ejaculation when they masturbated when they were young and before their body had started to make semen. Kinsey found that more than half of preteen boys could experience multiple orgasms. Unfortunately, when most men start to ejaculate, they forget how to distinguish between the crescendo of orgasm and the crash of ejaculation.

How can I separate ejaculation from orgasm?

As mentioned above, it requires two things: sexual sensitivity and sexual strength. In the book, we try to show men how to become aware of the moments between orgasm and ejaculation so they can learn to put the breaks on. By the breaks, we mean slowing down their arousal rate and using their sex muscles to control themselves from falling over the peak and down the steep cliff of ejaculation.

When do I let it finally go? Ever?

You can ejaculate every time you make love after you have had a number of orgasms, if you like. But most men, after they are able to orgasm without ejaculating, end up not wanting to ejaculate all the time. When they orgasm without ejaculating, they usually feel energetic and calm. When they ejaculate, they usually feel tired and lethargic. But according to the Tao, there are no absolutes. It all depends on a person's age, health, life circumstance. If you are on vacation, you may want to ejaculate more than if you are working very hard and need to conserve your energy. This is just common sense.

Isn't holding it in painful or dangerous?

Most men assume that if they do not ejaculate, they will have "blue balls" like they had when they were teenagers, but with multiple orgasms, you experience the release of tension and pressure that accompany orgasm. Not ejaculating is certainly not dangerous. The Taoists have been practicing these techniques for thousands of years without problems, and the studies show no sex problems.

Where does the semen go if it is not ejaculated?

It gets re-absorbed by your body just like it does in men who have had a vasectomy.

What is a full body orgasm?

Most men experience their orgasms primarily in the groin. This, according to the Taoists, is because we keep our sexual energy exclusively below the belt. The Taoists developed techniques for spreading this sexual energy and sexual pleasure throughout their body. Once you are able to do this, you begin to feel your orgasms in your brain and the rest of your body as well as in your genitals.

What do you mean by sexual energy?

What we call getting horny or getting aroused is understood in Sexual Kung Fu as the expansion of sexual energy. It is this sexual energy that you can use to expand your orgasms and revitalize your whole body.

Are there health implications to being Multi-Orgasmic?

Yes. According to Sexual Kung Fu, which is also called Healing Love, people need their sexual energy and even need to experience orgasms regularly to stay healthy. It is strange how we accept that pain is associated with illness, but we forget that pleasure is also associated with wellness. The problem is when a man ejaculates he loses much of this sexual energy he has created. This is the reason that many athletes and performers don't have sex the night before the big game or big performance. Musician Miles Davis talked about this, but what Miles and other men don't generally realize is that the drain is not sex but ejaculation. By learning to orgasm without ejaculating, they benefit from the sexual energy and waves of pleasure associated with orgasm (today, scientists might refer to the release of endorphins or other chemicals) without the depletion of ejaculation. A number of men have told me how they were able to avoid or end colds by using the Sexual Kung Fu techniques. In addition to prescribing certain pills for a particular condition, a Taoist physician would suggest love-making in a particular position--now that's, to quote Aretha Franklin, "Dr. Feel Good in the morning."

What are some of the most fundamental techniques a man can use to enhance his sex life and move toward being multi-orgasmic?

I think there are two very simple things that men can start to do. The first is to learn to be aware of their breathing. As in all martial arts and meditative practices, breathing is the way to gain control over your body. By learning to breathe deeply as he approaches orgasm, a man can learn to prolong orgasm and delay ejaculation. We go into much greater detail, but this is a place to start. Also, men can do the "Stopping the Stream Exercise" by which they learn to stop and start the flow of urine when they are going to the bathroom. The muscle that you use to stop and start the flow of urine (the PC or sex muscle) is the same muscle you use to help stop yourself from ejaculating.

Why do you think it has taken us so long to learn about multiple orgasms in the West?

Well, I think the fundamental problem comes from the shame that we feel around sexuality. For the Taoist, sex is just one part of being human. For them, just as we try to learn about cooking and nutrition to eat the tastiest food and stay fit, we should also learn about sex to experience the most possible pleasure and to stay healthy.

How many men are actually multi-orgasmic now?

I'd say probably somewhere between five and ten percent. Dr. William Hartman and Dr. Marilyn Fithian found that 12 percent of the men they studied in the laboratory were multi-orgasmic. I think this number might be a bit high, but it is still impressive. It is worth remembering that it is only in the last forty years that female orgasms have been recognized and accepted as normal. Back in the fifties, Kinsey reported that only 14 percent of women were multi-orgasmic. Recent surveys suggest that over 50 percent of women are multi-orgasmic! We expect that when more men realize that they can have multiple orgasm s and have a clear technique that the numbers will increase with similar speed. Already over the last fifteen years since the techniques in this book were introduced in the West, there has been a quiet sexual revolution going on among ordinary men who have learned to be multi-orgasmic.

What do you say to the statement of some women, "Isn't one enough for them? What do I get out of it?"

Most men who ejaculate when they orgasm remain focused on the goal of "getting off" rather than on the orgasmic process of love-making. Men who practice Sexual Kung Fu are not nervous or selfish lovers. They are in touch with their body and their partner's body, and are able to be much better lovers. Few men learn how to truly satisfy themselves or their partners sexually in this society. Sexual Kung Fu helps both partners to have the most pleasurable, passionate, and healthy love life. I would say that one doesn't have to be enough for men or for women; however, the issue isn't the number of orgasms, it is not about keeping score, it is about the quality and satisfaction of the love-making. Partners report much greater satisfaction with love-making once their partners learn to be multi-orgasmic.

Can the techniques in The Multi-Orgasmic Man effect relationships outside of sex?

As any sex therapist will tell you, when there are problems in the bedroom, there are problems in the relationship. While good sex will not solve all the problems in a relationship, it can certainly help. Sexual Kung Fu is a way of cultivating passion and intimacy in a relationship over a lifetime. It helps men and women to find infinite pleasure in their partner and not to become bored or seek after new sexual thrills. We call good sex "love-making" and that is exactly what the Taoist practice helps to do--make love. It helps partners to experience love and delight in one another, which can have a profound impact on relationships.

How does the Taoist sexuality differ from tantric sex?

There are some similarities between Tantra and Taoist sexuality, but unlike Tantra, which is part of the Hindu religious practice, Taoist sexuality was developed as a branch of Chinese medicine. You therefore don't need to believe any religious doctrines to be able to practice it and it is based on the workings of the body, not of any dogmatic belief system. In The Multi-Orgasmic Man we offer practical Taoist techniques that have been confirmed by scientific study to readers who are looking not for a new religious system but for a more profound experience of their own sexuality.

Isn't there a spiritual side to Taoist sexuality as well?

Certainly. Sexuality according to the Taoist was a profound spiritual practice. There was no separation between body and spirit like in the West. In Sexual Kung Fu, body and spirit are one and the same. What we have tried to do is offer basic techniques that all readers can use to become multi-orgasmic and to gradually add more subtle techniques for readers who want to use their sexuality as a path to improving their health and deepening their spirituality

[Guest tao4joe]

heres a Taoist website I found which also describes the importance of internal orgasm instead of outward. It says if orgasm is outward there is a brief feeling of sexual pleasure, and then loss of sexual energy. If it orgasm is internal and directed up throughout the energy channels then the entire body is filled with blissful pleasure which can last much longer and can lead to spiritual bliss and development. It says outward ejaculation should only really occur when fertilization is intended. Heres the websitehttp://www.universal-tao.com/FAQ/healing_love.html. But don't quote me on any of this, do your research and test it out yourself, no knowledge can replace direct wisdom through experience

Yes Surfingbudda no emission is the goal of tao masters who are only concerned with gaining spiritual "immortality". Taoists also recognize that a man in good health can take age divided by 5 to get number of days of cultivation and after that will not suffer any real energy loss. So far they are correct. And yes when im able to get that internal orgasm it is very profound and leaves your body numb with joy.

thanks, budda dude

[surfingbudda]

I just read in Bruce Frantzis's Book Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body, that he warns against taoist sex practices because done improperly can be dangerous. Of course he mentions strange techniques such as hanging wieghts from the testicles, sucking energy up the anus through the spine, and sucking the testicles into the body for protection. These are all very strange techniques I would never pursue, I do not know his views on Mantak Chia's techiniques of internal orgasm but to me they seem safe. Chia's books on the topic are filled with great reviews and positive results on Amazon. Perhaps this would be a good topic to discuss with bruce franztis if someone has an interview with him. It sounded from the book that he didn't forbade taoist sex practices, but didn't feel confident in his ability to discuss it in his book. I would doubt the user friendly books of Mantak Chia would be too dangerous, otherwise I think he would have been sued and his books would have been taken off the shelves long ago.

[Creation]

I just read in Bruce Frantzis's Book Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body, that he warns against taoist sex practices because done improperly can be dangerous. Of course he mentions strange techniques such as hanging wieghts from the testicles, sucking energy up the anus through the spine, and sucking the testicles into the body for protection. These are all very strange techniques I would never pursue, I do not know his views on Mantak Chia's techiniques of internal orgasm but to me they seem safe. Chia's books on the topic are filled with great reviews and positive results on Amazon. Perhaps this would be a good topic to discuss with bruce franztis if someone has an interview with him. It sounded from the book that he didn't forbade taoist sex practices, but didn't feel confident in his ability to discuss it in his book. I would doubt the user friendly books of Mantak Chia would be too dangerous, otherwise I think he would have been sued and his books would have been taken off the shelves long ago.

Hi surfingbuddha.

 

Frantzis is not against Taoist sexual practices, in fact he has practiced the crap out them himself. He discusses them in the 2 CD set Chi Gung for the Sexes, in a section of his book The Great Stillness, and in these podcast interviews:

http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-lovemaking/episodes/62269-sexual-qi-gong-practices-sexual-vitality

http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-lovemaking/episodes/62270-taoist-sexual-meditation-optimize

(If anyone know of any other sources of Frantzis' teaching on Taoist sexual methods, please share.)

He does not really delve into specific techniques though, probably for safety reasons.

 

Some impressions that I have gleaned from this info: Taoist sexual practices go WAAAAY beyond semen retention. He emphasizes that the real point of sexual practices, from a cultivation perspective, is that they supercharge all other practices, because all your chi becomes so animated and more easily felt and manipulated during sex, and because both partners can use the energy of other plus the interaction at the same time, so each person's meditation can be 4 times as powerful when practiced during sex. He says that in Taoist circles in China, semen retention was used for birth control, and to prevent depletion of the kidneys for those who have a lot of sex. Moreover, I got the impression that there is a water method of semen retention that does not require any muscular force, blocking, etc. but no details, unfortunately. And also he says that those practicing semen retention should ejaculate every so often to prevent the buildup of "dead jing".

Edited November 8, 2010 by Creation

[surfingbudda]

Well I came across this thread from a person on this forum who had horrible results with mantak chia's practicehttp://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/2889-semen-in-urine/page__p__26914entry26914

I also read people on this forum saying that taoist sexual can be beneficial but one must have the proper foundation of energy development first with their energy channels properly cleared to prevent the sexual energy from clogging your system. I think there could be benefit to learning Chia's system, but I would be somewhat cautious about it because many on this forum seem to warn against it until one is adept at working with energy. I will personally wait before I feel ready, if ever, to pursue this form of energy. Actually I looked deeper into the reviews on Mantak Chia's book and there were a sizeable amount of bad reviews saying that the practices Chia describes are too advanced for a beginner to energy work and a novice could do serious harm to their health. I am just writing this as a warning to those interested in taoist sexual practices, I someone wishes to practice it, there are a number of members who practice Chia's methods on this site and could help you on your path.

[nickyro]

For quick circulation: sport followed by constrated shower (hot/cold), and then stretchs.

[Guest tao4joe]

Well I came across this thread from a person on this forum who had horrible results with mantak chia's practicehttp://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/2889-semen-in-urine/page__p__26914entry26914

I also read people on this forum saying that taoist sexual can be beneficial but one must have the proper foundation of energy development first with their energy channels properly cleared to prevent the sexual energy from clogging your system. I think there could be benefit to learning Chia's system, but I would be somewhat cautious about it because many on this forum seem to warn against it until one is adept at working with energy. I will personally wait before I feel ready, if ever, to pursue this form of energy. Actually I looked deeper into the reviews on Mantak Chia's book and there were a sizeable amount of bad reviews saying that the practices Chia describes are too advanced for a beginner to energy work and a novice could do serious harm to their health. I am just writing this as a warning to those interested in taoist sexual practices, I someone wishes to practice it, there are a number of members who practice Chia's methods on this site and could help you on your path.

I thought I'd add some working insight to this, I began my energy cultivation with reading and re-reading mantak chia. I now look back and see it is a bit of a powerful shot of chi that can be overwhelming if your not careful and when he warns about opening the microcosmic orbit to keep the chi flowing...its serious. Had a couple wierd episodes I now see are similar to mild kundulini rising, But im cool just needed an outlet and listen to my body better with basic meditation like following breath, emptying the mind etc. When someone learns these powerful exercises like Testicle breathing, Scrotal compression, Power Lock, plus several general floor exercises to aid those...So its alot, and it hits you for real, but when you go from a lifestyle of self defeating and mindless sex, to one of a man who appreciates beauty but is not overwhelmed by it, he can take it or leave, Her personality is what makes her eligible for further consideration. As a good man put it, rare is the man who owns his strength and power.

[Birch]

If it's been good and pointless then I fall asleep. If I'm in love then I spend days wondering about what the other person is thinking.

[RiverSnake]

When you go from a lifestyle of self defeating and mindless sex, to one of a man who appreciates beauty but is not overwhelmed by it, he can take it or leave, Her personality is what makes her eligible for further consideration. As a good man put it, rare is the man who owns his strength and power.

 

So true

[Vajrahridaya]

Not that I'm a master or anything, but you gotta suck the experience up to the crown chakra level experience integrating everything underneath simultaneously...

 

That's a simplification of...

[Guest tao4joe]

[Pietro]

If I'm in love then I spend days wondering about what the other person is thinking.

you are a cutie

[leo17]

[Guest tao4joe]

Which book of Mantak Chia's are you referring to? I have the "Taoist Astral Healing" book that he wrote with Dirk Oellibrandt but I know he's got others.

Hi, The main book for the exercises and training is "cultivating male sexual energy" taoist secrets of love. But I believe his first book "awaken healing energy through the tao" is very important because it helps you open the MO, which is a must have for any of this to function proper, and even in other similar disciplines like tantra or kundalina yoga.

Edited November 10, 2010 by tao4joe

[leo17]

I see. I'll check it out. Thanks