help with negativity, bad luck, spiritual crisis, serious stuff

[suninmyeyes]

counseling is good...so is therapy...i wish icould find it...ive been trying but its been difficult..ive even experienced many abusive counselors...and odd experiences with that too--but the thing is that i can't seem to find a good counselor and now even a counselor period..i attributed it to the 'hell' as in...if its' 'entities' they dont want u getting help so it will be very difficult to get a counselor or a good one or any kind of help u need tha tmight give u any kind of positive energy...and most people try to be negative ot you..so youre desperately strugging to be around positive people or get serious therapy...but on one wants to giveu that positive--even the several counselors i went to were either rude, making up things about me, and one even mocked me and another ran away immediately..then began missing appts and i had to almost make him come to therapy--which was ridiculous...why are male counselors running away from me, others mocking me or being so mean? 3 counselors at a center began trsah talking me to each other claiming they didnt want to deal with my situation since i had an 'addiction' to my ex..? what on earth ? the closest people in my life are negative/monsters to me...with no support or only support of control freaks/psychopaths and no other support or friends....its difficult...diffuclt for a positive pattern to perpetuate...which in turn will not allow that good to come through....it's odd and scary...maybe its just all the bad people perpetuating more negativity...either way...anyone who doesnt have to go through persecution, oppression, maojr suffering is lucky...everyone suffers to some of lots of extents...cant compare it to people in other countries or in this country or people with severe situations...but i do think some people suffer more than others..i think the suffering ive expereinced...is rare or just odd...and it's non-stop and extreme...and just wonder...truly whta is the source of it...if it is metaphysical in nature, karmic, or just coincidence or bad treatment or what not...maybe stayign with my family is slowly brainwashing me...b/c im losing myself...being here and broken down...but for those woh are trapped in extreme 'suffering' im not sure if th buddhists call it samsara (someone once said that to me)...i wonder what the reason might be that they are there...or what a solution is...whether its meditation or what it means...

Jenn,

I was thinking ..

Are you fit?If not maybe that is one small step.Becouse when you become physically fit and healthy you start feeling energetic and comfortable with your body.

So you get energy for whatever other things you need to sort out in the life.

Get outdoors DAILY,on the bike if you are into it ,jogging or very brisk walking,you will get invigorated.Do it no matter what rain or shine.

Secondly,find a qigong teacher and attend lessons weekly ,and maybe something like taichi or something similar that resonates with you.

Do it regulary.

And practise.

Than if you do not ,just keep on going stubbornly and never give up wanting to feel good.That is the key.Try again and again.

Feeling at peace with yourself is your birthright and tell all this other feelings to F***k O**.It is up to you,make sure that Love is the boss in your house and accept NOTHING else.

Understand who you are and let go ,let go and let go some more.And more.

Of course at your pace.Dont forget to try over and over again to love yourself,yes even 1 billion times if required.

 

And you will form a positive pattern,slowly after some time your being will start changing /reshaping .

Study some self help and spiritual books on nature of the mind.

This "recipe"is what I could think of just now.

 

 

And you know sometimes we need to be broken down completley by life in order to grow more beutiful and radiant.Similar to cutting down the branches so the tree grows healthier.

Everything is in point of view.

All the best!Sending you lots of love.

Edited November 13, 2010 by suninmyeyes

[Gerard]

Deleted.

Edited November 13, 2010 by Gerard

[JohnC]

Look, at the three posts you just wrote and i mean really look at them. Everything we do is a reflection of who we are: your writing is chaotic and utterly focused on the problems you have at the moment, if you want to move beyond your current situation you have to change your focus and thoughts first.

 

This.

 

The words you use speak to the world from which they come.

 

And frankly what I read is someone who is a massive victim, looking for drama and attention.

 

Not meaning to be harsh, but I'm saying, really look at whats going on for you. All these things you create and are responsible for. You have a choice in everything, down to the very last bit of where you are, what you are doing and if you don't want to be there, LEAVE!

 

You are not trapped, you are not helpless.

 

You don't need a spiritual anything IMO. You need to just get a good therapist or counselor, and get your life on track. And that may mean challenging the beliefs and ideas that the world is a shitty place and there's nothing you can do, etc etc etc.

 

John

[Friend]

Edited November 16, 2011 by Friend

[宁]

No amount of counseling would clear that.

You are already immersed in negative energy, and live it daily - it can become an addiction, as can suffering and being a victim. Sowly it builds up into a way of life.

 

The others can help only by letting you have their energy of pity/empathy/compassion... like feeding a vampire - you have all the symptoms... funny nobody else noticed.

 

This one it's all up to you... It sure is ALOT of work.

Sorry if i sounded too un-sensitive, just offering a perspective that's all.

 

L1

[manitou]

Jenn, you are attracting this stuff to yourself because of a dynamic you're putting out there. Your emotional make-up seems to require that you play the role of constant victim.

Please consider going into therapy for a while to find what it is that started rolling this snowball downhill. There is a powerful dynamic inside you that gets its 'power' from being a victim - you are receiving some sort of emotional payoff from continually being crunched by the people in your life. If you are lucky, perhaps you have some sort of an addictive problem that you would qualify going to AA, Alanon, etc. to work the steps and get way inside of yourself. That is a powerful and fast way to go back to the source and get that dynamic changed as soon as possible. It will take some hard work, but once you've started you'll find that the path to truly understanding self is a joyful one, although tears are required. If you don't have the luxury of an addiction, then please find a therapist to try and get this stuff identified and placed behind you.

I am so glad you're here.

Another approach would be to use the concept of Love in your life in a way that you aren't doing now. First of all, find the little kid inside you and make a commitment to love her and keep her safe. I would recommend putting one of your baby pictures on your nightstand and talking to it each morning, and promise to keep her from harm. This is a simple and powerful way to take care of yourself first, even though it may be 'hurting someone else's feelings'. You need to find a firm way to get yourself out of a situation that's not good for you. Then, and maybe the most important part, is to get out of yourself - stop focusing on self and the problems. Instead, start Giving. Just start slowly seeing what it is around you that needs a little attention, whether that be a person or a situation. For just an hour a day as a starter, step outside of yourself and do something for someone else (perhaps not a person with whom you currently share a sick dynamic, as this will no doubt entangle the intent of the exercise). You are not going to cogitate your way out of your current style of thinking, which is self-obsessed; it must take physical action. I don't think merely reading the Tao or any other tome will be enough; you must bring it into the physical and out of the mental. what will happen is that if you do this for a while, you'll find that you will start to change from the inside and become stronger and less victimized, although maybe you won't feel that you're dealing with the problem in a direct fashion. That's true, but it's an oblique approach that you may need here - your mind seems to be very strong and capable of wearing and identifying your victimhood, but that's a self-defeating mindset that will do you no good in the long run,other than giving you a constant forum for self-pity.

Very best wishes to you.

[mYTHmAKER]

The others can help only by letting you have their energy of pity/empathy/compassion... like feeding a vampire - you have all the symptoms... funny nobody else noticed.

 

I noticed.

I read part of one of her posts and felt very uncomfortable with the energy projected

as though something was trying to attach itself to me.

Edited November 14, 2010 by mYTHmAKER

[rex]

A lot of good advice has been given Jenn and so all I can add as a possible supplement is:

 

The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain De Botton

 

Invoking Angels for Blessings, Protection and Healing by David Cooper

 

Invoking Mary Magdalene: Accessing the Wisdom of the Divine Feminine

 

If you're attracted to Buddhist imagery you can always recite Green Tara's mantra. She doesn't care if you're Buddhist or not.

 

Perhaps you'd might also like to check out the six healing sounds and Michael Winn's Deep Healing Qigong.

 

All the very best.

Edited November 14, 2010 by rex