Benefits of Cultivating Loving Kindness/Compassion

[C T]

Insight into the benefits of cultivating practices of loving kindness and compassion/Tonglen. Presented by Matthieu Ricard http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthieu_Ricard . Its a long clip (almost 1hr.) - to get to the specific topic, begin viewing from 35min on. Naturally, if you have the time, it would be great to listen to the whole talk.

 

 

Please dedicate the benefits you may derive from viewing this clip, however little, to the well-being of all sentient beings. Then may your dedication return to you a thousand-fold.

 

Thank you for reflecting.

Edited November 10, 2010 by CowTao

[balance.]

Mm, thanks for the drop, Cow.

 

.. I'll be sure to check it out once I see a break in the clouds.

 

 

 

 

balance.

[ShaktiMama]

Mm, thanks for the drop, Cow.

 

.. I'll be sure to check it out once I see a break in the clouds.

 

 

 

 

balance.

 

How apropros since this is World Kindness week.

thanks,

s

[Birch]

"How apropros since this is World Kindness week."

 

Just a week?

 

I guess after it then we can get back to being our usual "unkind" selves ?

 

This is very subjective, but I'm not in favour of all this "ritualizing" of values.

 

It seems that every day, it's "earth day" or "women's day" or "kids day" or "whale's day" or something. Secular observence seems like an interesting idea but I suspect it lets us off the hook the rest of the year. And I don't have a calendar.

[C T]

"How apropros since this is World Kindness week."

 

Just a week?

 

I guess after it then we can get back to being our usual "unkind" selves ?

 

This is very subjective, but I'm not in favour of all this "ritualizing" of values.

 

It seems that every day, it's "earth day" or "women's day" or "kids day" or "whale's day" or something. Secular observence seems like an interesting idea but I suspect it lets us off the hook the rest of the year. And I don't have a calendar.

Indeed you are right, Ms Kate!

 

Mother's Day... occasionally i remind my nieces and nephews, and my son, that every day is Mother's day... lest they get complacent. I said they ought to do something special for their moms every single day, but would they take heed? Yaa, whatever, they think to themselves. Tell them they are being taken to the games store, and instantly, as if being zapped, they stand to attention! Funny world... these days.

[Taomeow]

As for health benefits, I've seen research somewhere (here?..) showing that merely believing you are either very good OR very evil is a reliable health booster. Apparently the unhealthy way is the middle way... the fence you sit on must be pressing into the where-it-counts or something... :D People who "don't believe in good and evil" don't seem to be able to mobilize their immune systems for a good fight.

 

By the way, Max, at one of the seminars, said something that coincides precisely with my observations: that cancer is a disease of indecision... the mind and the cells alike lose their ability to differentiate, they aren't all that determined to be something specific, they can go this way, but then they can go that way too... Healthy cells make a definite decision -- "I am a stomach lining cell, I am a brain cell, I am a liver cell" -- and stick with it. Apparently healthy minds do the same thing -- "I am good" or "I am evil" being the two basic choices. If they don't, they might wind up being a little bit of this and a little bit of that -- which is what a cancer cell is like too, "de-differentiated," non-discriminating... not convinced that there's good and evil moves to make in its personal life, not convinced it must choose... it's, like, "anything goes." And "anything goes" winds up going where it doesn't belong and interfering with organs trying to do their job -- that of a stomach lining, or a brain, or a liver... So it's not a very healthy attitude, looks like... not for self and not for others...

[Birch]

Interesting idea TaoMoew.

 

I have personally taken the route of "wholeness" which is to say I'm unconcerned by trying to be "good" or be "bad" because I'm just the way I am.

 

However, I'll add as a caveat that I seem to "naturally" choose to uphold very specific attributes that I guess some people might refer to as "good" but they differ greatly from the early admonishment to "be good" that I'm sure many of us encountered during early socialization.

 

What those exhortions meant were IMO less about being "good" than complying with attendant social/behavioural norms. I was wondering a while back what would have happened had this been explained for what it was as it was being done. I speculated about creating a sociopath. I really don't know.

[Taomeow]

Interesting idea TaoMoew.

 

I have personally taken the route of "wholeness" which is to say I'm unconcerned by trying to be "good" or be "bad" because I'm just the way I am.

 

However, I'll add as a caveat that I seem to "naturally" choose to uphold very specific attributes that I guess some people might refer to as "good" but they differ greatly from the early admonishment to "be good" that I'm sure many of us encountered during early socialization.

 

What those exhortions meant were IMO less about being "good" than complying with attendant social/behavioural norms. I was wondering a while back what would have happened had this been explained for what it was as it was being done. I speculated about creating a sociopath. I really don't know.

 

I don't think it would create a sociopath. Consciousness doesn't do that, lack of consciousness does that. I know that I can consciously apply a socially sanctioned behavioral rule without an inner conflict long as I have a clear understanding as to why I choose to comply. If I comply without choosing, just because I've internalized a pattern of obedience, that's no better than if I don't comply without choosing, just because I've internalized a pattern of disobedience. In either case we're dealing with emotional maturity of a 2-year-old. Which too many people retain into their retirement age and beyond regardless of whether they are patterned on obedience or on rebellion.

 

Most, of course, are patterned on obedience, so one doesn't expect this behavior to be viewed as pathological. But any animal psychologist knows that there's two ways to drive an animal psychotic -- either abuse it till it sees all interactions as abuse and becomes violent and doesn't accept any rules whatsoever... or abuse it till it sees all interactions as threat of abuse and prevents its unleashing by becoming perfectly obedient and accepting any and all rules. Both patterns are sick, but people just don't interact with anything wild anymore unless they can make it sick with fear first. If it has no fear, it goes extinct... so the "obedience psychosis" is the accepted norm, while the "disobedience psychosis" is being constantly eradicated. But they are fundamentally exactly the same.

[goldisheavy]

I recommend skipping the first 30 minutes of the talk, straight to the science portion of the talk, which is what's new and interesting. The first 30 mins contains all the boring stuff we've heard, oh, about 1000 times or so.

 

Thank you for posting this CowTao. I loved the science portion of the talk.

Edited November 11, 2010 by goldisheavy

[Kali Yuga]

I definitely believe that loving kindness is a must for any person on a spiritual path, and especially so to any people who choose to develop some sort of extreme power on their path.

 

Think of John Chang for example, who said that "you must have control of your emotions" when referring to his Mo Pai lineage teaching. There are certain people in that lineage of his that weren't exactly good people, but nevertheless neigong masters who wielded terrible power.

 

Pak Eddy of the Kalimasada lineage says the same thing. He especially admonishes parents not to slap or smack around their children when they have already been practicing for years, and have a strong level of condensed energy within the body, because this could easily result in unintended injuries and disablilities for the children. Condensed energy is not selective as to where it goes, thoughts and emotions channel it wherever it is directed to go to. And if that place is into a fellow human being or even a loved one

 

In short if you are on a path of any sort that develops powerful amounts of energy that could translate into very real physical effects, such as being able to break bars of set things on fire, then compassion training should be mandatory. Emotion is a very powerful conductor for energy. And many practitioners who have reached high levels of energy cultivation, have stories about how emotion got the best of them and they ended up hurting others in ways they didnt think possible and regretted it. Energy can kill as well as heal.

 

Look back to the story of Jesus and the fig tree. He berated the fig tree. And the fig tree withered almost immediately. This is the power of energy, and imagine what it could do to others if you can't control it.

 

I say once again that this all is compared to the Jedi/Sith analogy. A Jedi has an open perspective, sees the greater scale of things, and works towards peace, healing and harmony. A Sith has selfish motives. He does not control his emotions, and more often than not in the process of gratifying these motives, hurts people along the way.

[C T]

 

Look back to the story of Jesus and the fig tree. He berated the fig tree. And the fig tree withered almost immediately. This is the power of energy, and imagine what it could do to others if you can't control it.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Kali. Makes plenty of sense what you have said.

 

Jesus and the fig tree... reminded me of a young lad many years ago, who could wither (gradually of course, over a week or so) plants and small trees simply by putting both his palms close to them. It came naturally to him, and as he grew older, he honed his power and became a healer. Heard lately that he is now in semi-permanent retreat somewhere far away...

[C T]

I recommend skipping the first 30 minutes of the talk, straight to the science portion of the talk, which is what's new and interesting. The first 30 mins contains all the boring stuff we've heard, oh, about 1000 times or so.

 

Thank you for posting this CowTao. I loved the science portion of the talk.

Yeah, a bit drawn out the first 30 minutes.

 

Glad you found the last bit interesting.

[C T]

As for health benefits, I've seen research somewhere (here?..) showing that merely believing you are either very good OR very evil is a reliable health booster. Apparently the unhealthy way is the middle way... the fence you sit on must be pressing into the where-it-counts or something... :D People who "don't believe in good and evil" don't seem to be able to mobilize their immune systems for a good fight.

 

Enjoyed your contribution as usual, T Meow. Thanks!

 

Perhaps its the middling way that muddles a person's health? The Middle Way is balance, and balance is always worthwhile. Just a thought...

[Birch]

"The Middle Way is balance, and balance is always worthwhile. Just a thought... "

 

Thanks Mr Cow. I have come to see the "Middle Way" (so far) as somewhat unnatural and tense whereas a "natural" (per my interpretation) position may very well be on the edge at one point and on the other edge at the next point. If you think of how much "balance" you need to lose every time you take a step to be able to move forward?

 

From experience, compassion practices do indeed smooth out many of the "issues" that I've encountered during practices.

 

I also think it's funny that the "yin/yang/ symbol" is so often pictured as static and perfectly balanced. While I would like to believe/ I believe that the "great ultimate" is in fact totally still and totally balanced; being one of the 10,000 things, I myself am not always such - and indeed if the great ultimate is to remain still and in perfect balance then it seems to require that I not be, much like it "requires" the sun to be very hot and the moon to reflect it's light, tigers to eat gazelle (throw in another cliche if you want ;-))

 

However, if you're referring to the kind of balance you can get to when you quit the left-brain stuff and give right brain a chance, then I'm in ;-)

[Mal]

I also welcome any honest conversation on love. Love waits only on welcome.

 

While not the oldest loving kindness thread here, this one has the "science info" in it

 

Loving is kindness is bluntly, a really difficult practice. It can seem quite pointless and it's very difficult to start as it asks you to "develop loving-kindness towards a hostile person - someone you are currently having difficulty with"

 

Which sounds like so much fun can't I just learn to burn holes in paper with my chi instead, at least that would impress girls

Or

I feel so depressed, everyone hates me, it can't be worth the effort. Yet-

One of my favourite meditations when I'm feeling down is Loving Kindness. If that sound too "nice" when you are down, the Buddhist monk that taught our class said "if you practice Loving Kindness meditation you will be immune to poison!" How is that for an ability! Sounded pretty cool to me

 

Practices like the 4 noble guests and loving kindness meditation have helped me to not only to welcome love,

but to radiate it.

 

Sean: Ok, last question. Could you tell us 3 simple things we could do every day to enhance our lives, no matter what system or path we are following?

 

Chunyi Lin: 1. Put a S.M.I.L.E. on your face (Start My Internal Love Engine!)

 

2. Breathe slowly, gently and deeply as often as you can each day.

 

3. Focus on your heart and connect with the limitless unconditional love of the universe. Be a love radiator. Remember, the more unconditional, healing love energy you send out to others, the more you will draw into yourself.

 

Just doing these 3 simple things can help to enhance your life and the lives of those around you in so many, many, wonderful ways.

[Friend]

Edited November 16, 2011 by Friend

[Non]

so which technique/method of this meditation is best to learn?

 

There is meditation on twin hearts, and the buddhist version I bought on CD.

 

Is the one on wildmind good? The metta meditation.

[Mal]

There are so many good versions, they all have merit, the best one is just whatever you like to practice IMO

 

I found some easier than others, mostly I've practiced the one that was taught to me.

[Maddie]

Isn't Metta another word for loving kindness?

[Universal]

Thanks for the video, I definitely needed that.

[Maddie]

I'm thinking about how its important to be kind to yourself.

[Maddie]

Ok I think one great benefit to cultivating Metta is that its the perfect antidote to just about anything negative that might come up during meditation. This would not only include insights into less than flattering things about one's self, but also it helps keep the ego in check when you think about others, to not judge them or compete with them, but to want good for them.

[liminal_luke]

Any tonglen practitioneers about? I've tried it just a little bit, mostly focusing just on myself (tonglen for narcissists) and the most noticable thing was how relaxing it was. Thinking of taking it up again.

[balance.]

Any tonglen practitioneers about? I've tried it just a little bit, mostly focusing just on myself (tonglen for narcissists) and the most noticable thing was how relaxing it was. Thinking of taking it up again.

 

 

I do--- but I'm careful with how often I do the practice..... I'll be deeply sad/depressed for 36 some hrs following it (But I'm told such a fall-out/sickness is how you know you've done it properly--- that a slice of your karma is being dissolved).

 

 

best.

 

 

balance.

 

 

 

*if you're serious about a bringing a comprehensive approach of this work to bear on your life..... look no further than this text (which was recommended to me by Jenny Lamb)

Edited May 19, 2013 by balance.