advice or help

[jenn992]

this topic or question may not be ok for these forums, but in case it might be...i posted before about dealing with bad situations, family, others.. well i wanted some advice maybe from people who would know how a person can handle a situation with so many bad things happening to them at once and for so long. Ive been staying with my family for a month, while they have my place 'renovated.' the renovations arent being done for me..they're being done so they can then place more stipulations on me, kick me out and have other tenants. I havent known what their true intentions were until now..while staying with them..ive had to take abuse, control, threats, have the police threatened on me, abused verbally emotionally..forced to take medication or neuroleptics or threatened to be baker acted if i don't..all while im having health or pelvic problems and its making them worse...i cant leave out of town otherwise my mother calls and begins accusing me of seeing my ex and threatening/harassing me..claiming she'll get a restraining order against him or putting me in fear, trying to ruin my day or my time away.. My faimly is outrageous and crazy sick people...very evil people..i have taken their abuse out of fear that iwont be able to move back into my place...and be trapped with them or who knows what they might do. they are sociopaths and capable of anything...my father gave me a list of bogus insane conditions ihave to 'fulfill' in order for me to move back into my place and be able to live there. Some include "seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication daily." He also claims that he will be 'travelling to my city more for meetings and will be staying at that place'..ie trying to have more control over me. I'll be paying my rent/bills and yet they still are throwing these odd conditions onto me. Ive had to be broken down daily, abused ,treated like dirt, dumped on, living in fear, scared to leave the house, scared to do anything out of fear of them retaliating...only to find out that once i move back, if i dont fulfill the conditions by two months i'll be 'evicted.' They claim i 'begged' for the renovations...though i explained to them that i backed out once i realized there were all tehse ridiculous stipulations involved...ive been abused terribly and broken down for a month..just rotting away..unable to work here or do anything hoping i'll be able to successfully move back into my old place...when in reality my family just had plans to want to kick me out of that place...or take their abuse and stay there and be controlled by them in various forms. My family has put me in debt 12,000 with the govt/social security...retirement money that was the result of that debt, chceks in my name, they just took and put them in an account...to where i have no access to it and are spending it on their whim and gave me no control over it..the money they wont let me have b/c of that, i lost my social security and ssi...the more control they get..the crueller they get...and the worse they get and th more control they want....on top of all this as they want they can have me baker acted...and sent to a mental ward and destroy me even more...the things they've done to me...are so horrid, extreme..cruel....devious criminal, evil ... aside from advice on how to deal with all this ...meditation wise or mentally...which i cant imagine who could...im trynig to survive...how can a person do 'anything' to take any form of control back...stop these monsters, criminals and sadists from doing this to me....or show them they can't do this...i cant move out 'right away'.. but i plan to soon...but moving out/away isn't really stpoping them showing them they cant do anything or taking any real control..its almost like running away from monsters...is there a way to stop these sociopathic people from doing this to me..anything i say to them...results in them giving me looks of bewilderment..as if ..theyve done nothing wrong..its just the average abuser minimizing, denying...acting like...you're crazy..we've done nothing bad ot you...even that in itself is a sick form of serious abuse..but nothing compared to the horrors they've done or are doing now...no one eles helps me out b/c most people like to see others suffering...and help out the abusers...the abuse my parents have done has escalated to such extremes now...and the more abuse they do, the more they want to do after that...its more like "oh we screwed up her social security" well...now we'll show her..we'll do even worse things to her...such as had the SS hadnt been screwed up...they wouldnt have gotten worse...abusing me, is a sport to them...and they do it with such carelessness..and i dont know how to tak emy power back...now it involves my living situation...and these sociopaths gaining more control....they are deficient people...awful people...i am a victim, but worse....i dont know how to stop them..from destroying me....if i dont stpo them...they will get even worse....and even moving away...i will do that but feel its just running...that i have to undo the wrongs they've done...its not 'teach them a lesson'...these people are evil people...they have committed fraudulent, and criminal acts...i should press charges against them for the criminal things they've done, though im too scared...b/c of what they could do to me.. i am their only victim..they have no others....im not a victim but they go out fo their way to destroy my life and put me through ridiculous suffering..break me down...the worst part is..i did anything to avoid this..i know what they are capable of...but ironically i couldn't avoid it..and worse..their modes of abuse are so..systematic..its sa if they will not let me leave this place..until they have completely broken me down and then broken me down some more..so once i get back to my place..well then im not at peace..im struggling to survive and fulfill a bunch of insane conditions..otherwise i get kicked out and have to move again..they are trying to decimate me..on another level..and not in just living but mentally in any way possible..i dont know what i can do..no matter what im screwed..my life is also being controlled by various sociopaths...they are all jealous of each other..ie the other is getting control over me, so theyre jealous and try to take more control, break me down..the moment i try to get away from one, another strikes..so then im fending for myself and my life..and then i get away and another strikes..this is always happenin..currently im trying to deal with my nasty family, but they arent going to let me go now..and another sociopath, i had to keep on the side b/c my family was being so malicious...and that sp is jealous of my faimly's control so he tries to break me down or wants to..then my family thinks im talking to him and becomes more malicious and gets scared they will lose their control..it is a torture fest to be stuck in this and the more i try to get out, the harder it gets and once i do, then some 3rd party becomes the perpetrator to destroy/control me..and i need help from the 'others'..regardless, what my family has done to me is so mean and bad i dont know whta to do or how to deal with it..if anyone has any ideas on what a person can do in this situation...to get away from abuesrs like this, get their rights back...hire a family lawyer?

Edited November 23, 2010 by jenn992

[island]

Forgive them, and move forward with your life.

[jenn992]

well thats kind of like telling a serial killer who has u locked ni a cage, to forgive them and move on...of course that is not the solution to anything on this planet especially major things u are still a part of...im seeking advice and practical solutions for stopping those who are out to destroy another person...there has to be a way to stop abusers...from doing cruel things to someone...whether it may be a learning lesson, a threat from the police, one action that could scare them into not continually abusing someone...rather than just 'getting away'..b/c getting away from sociopaths means they will be befuddled and inclined to trying to grab you if they can and you will have to resort to a restraining order...aside from leaving, there must be a way to stop people from committing cruel acts against someone...if tehre truly isn't...then a person just has to get away but in this case seek justice too for all the wrongs that have been done...

Edited November 23, 2010 by jenn992

[zerostao]

well thats kind of like telling a serial killer who has u locked ni a cage, to forgive them and move on...of course that is not the solution to anything on this planet especially major things u are still a part of...im seeking advice and practical solutions for stopping those who are out to destroy another person...there has to be a way to stop abusers...from doing cruel things to someone...whether it may be a learning lesson, a threat from the police, one action that could scare them into not continually abusing someone...rather than just 'getting away'..b/c getting away from sociopaths means they will be befuddled and inclined to trying to grab you if they can and you will have to resort to a restraining order...aside from leaving, there must be a way to stop people from committing cruel acts against someone...if tehre truly isn't...then a person just has to get away but in this case seek justice too for all the wrongs that have been done...

why is it that you cannot leave the situation immediately?

[jenn992]

why is it that you cannot leave the situation immediately?

 

 

im at my family's....and i have to move back to my house..so i can't leave yet..i have to waitfor the renovations to be done which has been a month now...and in most situations people can't just 'leave' their living spaces...im trapped and have been but once i get back...then im still screwed...but regardless the things my faimly has done to me are really cruel....and they continue to abuse...

[Gauss]

im at my family's....and i have to move back to my house..so i can't leave yet..i have to waitfor the renovations to be done which has been a month now...and in most situations people can't just 'leave' their living spaces...im trapped and have been but once i get back...then im still screwed...but regardless the things my faimly has done to me are really cruel....and they continue to abuse...

 

Meet your persecutors with compassion, never fight back or argue back when they do their bad stuff. Think strong righteous thoughts and clear away their bad thoughts.

 

In a short while you will see how they will stop harassing you and wonder what happened... The reason for this can be that you harassed them in an earlier life and now they are getting even. Just accept this and things will settle down soon. Following the course of nature is a good way of life I find.

[pilot]

i wanted some advice maybe from people who would know how a person can handle a situation with so many bad things happening to them at once and for so long

From my experience, 2 people in similar (though not as extreme) situations, both left to live independently, both much better off. Was it hard? Did it seem impossible? Yes. Did they succeed? Yes.

 

there must be a way to stop people from committing cruel acts; seek justice too for all the wrongs;

is there a way to stop these sociopathic people from doing this to me

I for the most part agree with Gauss and others who have addressed these questions. Disentangle yourself from a relationship with them even if, as you say, are forced to respond. You can go through the social routines but without having to 'be there' to give them the attention and emotional energy they feed off of. Again, disentangle yourself. If your situation is as hopeless as you say it is, you are in no position to "seek justice for all the wrongs."

 

Project an image of yourself of how you would like things to be, make it a positive one, realistic but without self-imposed limitations (entanglements) and aim for it. Treat disappointments as reminders to focus on this positive image, and double you efforts towards it. Admit to yourself the reality of the situation you are in right now, let go of the victim mentality, make your goals clear, affirm to yourself that change is possible. When you are free and independent to live your life as you see fit, I am sure you will find opportunities to do something positive for someone, and to reassert your image positively.

 

If these don't help, or any of the other advice already given to you from the other topics, then look back on your priorities and needs, and try to be more clear about them.

 

Good luck.

[bindo]

Sometimes getting really angry is the best response. I was once bullied for many years by my moms second husband. After several years of putting up with his crap, he pushed one too many times, so I got in his face and basically promised to kick his ass if he didn't learn to treat me better, starting right now!!....Problem solved. He not only never bullied me again, he apologized long and deep and he is, to this day, exceptionally kind towards me.

 

Some people need to get angry before they feel able to take action.

Edited December 2, 2010 by bindo

[trailmaker]

Sometimes getting really angry is the best response. I was once bullied for many years by my moms second husband. After several years of putting up with his crap, he pushed one too many times, so I got in his face and basically promised to kick his ass if he didn't learn to treat me better, starting right now!!....Problem solved. He not only never bullied me again, he apologized long and deep and he is, to this day, exceptionally kind towards me.

 

Some people need to get angry before they feel able to take action. The Ghandi approach can damage the soul.

 

Sometimes confrontation...

[trailmaker]

Sometimes getting really angry is the best response. I was once bullied for many years by my moms second husband. After several years of putting up with his crap, he pushed one too many times, so I got in his face and basically promised to kick his ass if he didn't learn to treat me better, starting right now!!....Problem solved. He not only never bullied me again, he apologized long and deep and he is, to this day, exceptionally kind towards me.

 

Some people need to get angry before they feel able to take action. The Ghandi approach can damage the soul.

 

Right - while you're waiting, sometimes confrontation is part of the way...