Modern Life

[Listener]

One of my college professors once said that those who study history often feel they don't belong in their own time. I've always felt that way. I've always hoped I would find a place where I felt I belonged. Didn't find it in school. Nor in Church. Only to a limited degree in my family and friends. I think I've always hoped I could find that in a romantic relationship.

 

I often feel like an alien in this world. Things are so wrong, and could be changed so easily, yet most people don't seem to see that.

[zerostao]

One of my college professors once said that those who study history often feel they don't belong in their own time. I've always felt that way. I've always hoped I would find a place where I felt I belonged. Didn't find it in school. Nor in Church. Only to a limited degree in my family and friends. I think I've always hoped I could find that in a romantic relationship.

 

I often feel like an alien in this world. Things are so wrong, and could be changed so easily, yet most people don't seem to see that.

at certain times in my life i had feelings that i was "out of time". i even had romantic ideas about certain time periods where i thought i may have been more in synch. i was a bit of a rambler & wanderer.i felt the grass was a little greener somewhere else. somewhere along the way i started feeling more comfortable in this time. it may have been i just needed the right change of scenery or arriving at a place in the propper time. once i experienced this it became easier for me to enjoy and appreciate the wonders of our time. i can relate to the "things being so wrong" also. and as you say sometimes these can be changed so easily. i had a saying, "this world could be such a cool place,only if.." i ended up on a path where the little things became the important things. maybe i couldnt change the bigger things but i could change some of the small things. some of my positive experiences built upon other small changes. i gained confidence and a level of contentment. it continues to be a challenge for me to make sure the smaller things become some of the cooler things. i began using this formula in my qigong and tai chi practices. in all aspects of my life really. each time i had a small success i started to have a small smile . my energy felt better. all of these small things were combining together and making me feel very comfortable in this time and also wherever place i happened to be. in many ways i am just a simple minded fool but i am no longer distracted away from the small and the simple. i have ended up very content and confident that my goal continuing to pay attention to the small things and keep it simple will continue to bring small & simple rewards building upon each other and getting me a little closer to be in harmony with tao. there is no rush as i am in my propper time and place.

[manitou]

 

 

I often feel like an alien in this world. Things are so wrong, and could be changed so easily, yet most people don't seem to see that.

 

 

Me too. Always have. I wonder if those of us who never felt a fit anywhere are more prone to looking for the fit through spirituality.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Me too. Always have. I wonder if those of us who never felt a fit anywhere are more prone to looking for the fit through spirituality.

 

 

I completely agree. I think the alienation from culture certainly does lead to this, but also the feeling that somehow just being on this planet (at this time, and sometimes at all), leads many of us to pursue spirituality. There's a feeling many of us ache for, of 'coming home'. Is it possible in this physical existence (through 'awakening' or 'enlightenment'), or is it on an entirely different plane altogether? I know that some meditations have led me closer to feeling this.

[manitou]

I completely agree. I think the alienation from culture certainly does lead to this, but also the feeling that somehow just being on this planet (at this time, and sometimes at all), leads many of us to pursue spirituality. There's a feeling many of us ache for, of 'coming home'. Is it possible in this physical existence (through 'awakening' or 'enlightenment'), or is it on an entirely different plane altogether? I know that some meditations have led me closer to feeling this.

 

 

Honestly, the only thing that does it for me - that really makes me feel like I'm home - is to be in the I Am consciousness. And how often can we wear that?

 

Songs, it seems like the last year i've become aware of this electrical undulating monster inside of me, or that's what it feels like. It's like I can't meditate my way out of this one, and the times I'm actually at home in my own skin are few and far between. The only thing that calms this thing is to either tell myself to Be Here Now, or to Do-Nothing. It seems to be an underlying anxiety level that has nothing to do with my life situation; my life situation is fine. Better than fine. But it feels like a building up of perhaps 'communal' anxiety, perhaps leading toward a type of culmination or an end game or a joining together; I can't even put it into words. Do you share any of this?

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Yes, manitou, I have something similar that is difficult, that has to do with the collective. I am most cutely aware/uncomfortable with it in the early hours of the morning, or when I first wake up. I have had an incredibly vivid dream life lately, affected perhaps by some of the supplements I take, at times lucid, but my dreams seem to unfold in 'real-time', and take me so deeply to another existence, it becomes actually painful, and temporarily unbearable, to come back to this reality. I have to bring myself fully into the present, and let the world slowly come back in...I think it's similar to what you are describing.

[manitou]

Does it seem like it's slowly increasing in intensity? There's just no describing it, really. I do think we're describing the same oddness. For some reason I had a feeling you'd know what I was talking about, lol.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

As I go through my day, I often look around at the world and wonder how people work the places they do or do the jobs they do without totally getting depressed or giving up. I mean, pick out some little business in a strip mall that someone owns, and has the keys to and operates, fretting about the economy and dealing with the small trickle of the world that comes through their door. Seems depressing to me.

 

How do those people at the bank stand there for 8 hours under flourescent lightsand do transactions with the general public, 40 hours a week for years, and keep a smile on their face and not hate where they go every day?

 

I just flew through LAX yesterday and dealt with the absolute madhouse of airport security, and wonder how those poor fuckers do it? I can barely stand to go through it myself for a short period of time. I berate myself for being so sensitive to environments sometimes, thinking I 'should' be more present, aware, compassionate, non-judging, equanimous, etc...but seriously, I think I would just walk away from it at some point.

 

But many people have marvelled that i do what I do, which they consider difficult, and I think "no, you've got the difficult job. I love what I do". They are thinking the same thing about me.

 

Isn't that funny?

[manitou]

That's the very city I come from, the one you flew through. That's the very reason I live in a small farm house in rural Ohio. Can't say much for the winters, but oh well. You can't have it all.

I can't believe I did what I did for all those years. My nerves are paying for it now, though. The only thing that brings me down is meditation - actually Be Here Now is the only way I can tolerate my own stress disorders. If I'm engaged in mental gymnastics off on a train of thought, my foot will start twisting around, or I'll start chomping down on my jaw. The inner dialogue is ridiculous and is certainly capable of generating the stress for us!

What is it that you do now, that you love so?

Barb

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Edited February 16, 2011 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[manitou]

I'm just going to have to assume you're a highly evolved ax murdered doing time somewhere who has a whole lot of time to think about this stuff.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

I'm just going to have to assume you're a highly evolved ax murdered doing time somewhere who has a whole lot of time to think about this stuff.

Correctamundo! Naw, I work with dying folks. I used to try to fix people and I 'failed' if they died, but now my work takes death to be a natural part of life, the Great Transition we will all have to face. Very gratifying work, if you're meant for it. I guess I am.

Edited February 16, 2011 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Encephalon]

I can't believe I did what I did for all those years. My nerves are paying for it now, though. The only thing that brings me down is meditation - actually Be Here Now is the only way I can tolerate my own stress disorders.

I'd like to respond because I do live in LA now(and perhaps I can maintain my balance precisely because I have a viable 3-year exit strategy). This city is grotesque, but it's big enough to draw experts from virtually any field of interest. I did my research and concluded that Nei Kung instruction would solve more of my personal problems and challenges than any other body/mind discipline and, lo and behold, there was an authentic Nei Kung instructor just down the street from UCLA.

I'm moving into my fourth year and rank Nei Kung practice with getting sober, getting my Master's, and getting married (with a bun in the oven!) I've purchased a couple dozen books on the subject and have found Bruce Frantzis, Dan Reid, and Yang Jwing-Ming to be the most talented writers on the subject for western audiences, besides Master C.K.Chu who wrote The Book of Nei Kung along with Jim Borreli, the man who taught me.

The most obvious benefit I've realized is a massive reduction in stress level. Dan Reid gives the best physiological explanation IMO. There's a point where your endocrine system starts pumping less cortisol (and fight or flight hormones like adrenaline) into your bloodstream and more of the "rest and digest" hormones. As you accrue more time with less stress, your innate talents as well as the power of your subconsciousness become readily accessible for dealing with life's challenges, which increases self-confidence, which reduces stress further...the cycle continues.

But this really doesn't due justice to the process. Since it works on the unconscious level, I just have to show up for an hour a day and squeeze in some extra sitting meditation where I can and the healing takes place without having to understand all. I suppose that I've acquired an absolute faith in the process now and that probably introduces another dimension to the practice.

 

I guess this is yet another personal diatribe about stress, the modern killer.

[DalTheJigsaw123]

As I go through my day, I often look around at the world and wonder how people work the places they do or do the jobs they do without totally getting depressed or giving up. I mean, pick out some little business in a strip mall that someone owns, and has the keys to and operates, fretting about the economy and dealing with the small trickle of the world that comes through their door. Seems depressing to me.

 

How do those people at the bank stand there for 8 hours under flourescent lightsand do transactions with the general public, 40 hours a week for years, and keep a smile on their face and not hate where they go every day?

 

I just flew through LAX yesterday and dealt with the absolute madhouse of airport security, and wonder how those poor fuckers do it? I can barely stand to go through it myself for a short period of time. I berate myself for being so sensitive to environments sometimes, thinking I 'should' be more present, aware, compassionate, non-judging, equanimous, etc...but seriously, I think I would just walk away from it at some point.

 

But many people have marvelled that i do what I do, which they consider difficult, and I think "no, you've got the difficult job. I love what I do". They are thinking the same thing about me.

 

Isn't that funny?

Agreed.

I wonder the same thing.

Edited February 17, 2011 by LeonBasin

[DalTheJigsaw123]

I'd like to respond because I do live in LA now(and perhaps I can maintain my balance precisely because I have a viable 3-year exit strategy). This city is grotesque, but it's big enough to draw experts from virtually any field of interest. I did my research and concluded that Nei Kung instruction would solve more of my personal problems and challenges than any other body/mind discipline and, lo and behold, there was an authentic Nei Kung instructor just down the street from UCLA.

I'm moving into my fourth year and rank Nei Kung practice with getting sober, getting my Master's, and getting married (with a bun in the oven!) I've purchased a couple dozen books on the subject and have found Bruce Frantzis, Dan Reid, and Yang Jwing-Ming to be the most talented writers on the subject for western audiences, besides Master C.K.Chu who wrote The Book of Nei Kung along with Jim Borreli, the man who taught me.

The most obvious benefit I've realized is a massive reduction in stress level. Dan Reid gives the best physiological explanation IMO. There's a point where your endocrine system starts pumping less cortisol (and fight or flight hormones like adrenaline) into your bloodstream and more of the "rest and digest" hormones. As you accrue more time with less stress, your innate talents as well as the power of your subconsciousness become readily accessible for dealing with life's challenges, which increases self-confidence, which reduces stress further...the cycle continues.

But this really doesn't due justice to the process. Since it works on the unconscious level, I just have to show up for an hour a day and squeeze in some extra sitting meditation where I can and the healing takes place without having to understand all. I suppose that I've acquired an absolute faith in the process now and that probably introduces another dimension to the practice.

 

I guess this is yet another personal diatribe about stress, the modern killer.

 

What are you majoring in?

What you getting your masters in?

[Encephalon]

What are you majoring in?

What you getting your masters in?

 

Geography. My thesis was "The Geography of Consumerism: A Buddhist Deconstruction of Los Angeles."

[manitou]

Correctamundo! Naw, I work with dying folks. I used to try to fix people and I 'failed' if they died, but now my work takes death to be a natural part of life, the Great Transition we will all have to face. Very gratifying work, if you're meant for it. I guess I am.

 

Aaah, you've brought the shamanic into it. Well done.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Geography. My thesis was "The Geography of Consumerism: A Buddhist Deconstruction of Los Angeles."

Let's shorten it to 'A Buddhist Reconstruction of Los Angeles' put pictures of lots of half clad blokes and girls doing Buddhist meditation practices, put it out there and step back and watch what happens.

 

Blasto, have you ever explored Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction? How does it compare with nei gung for stress, do you think?

 

PS, I do visit the Bodhi Tree Bookstore every time I visit and have found some amazing books, especially in the used bookstore out back.

Edited February 17, 2011 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[Encephalon]

Let's shorten it to 'A Buddhist Reconstruction of Los Angeles' put pictures of lots of half clad blokes and girls doing Buddhist meditation practices, put it out there and step back and watch what happens.

 

PS, I do visit the Bodhi Tree Bookstore every time I visit and have found some amazing books, especially in the used bookstore out back.

 

Sadly, The Bodhi Tree has only couple of months left. I think i read that they'll continue to sell online. Kind of adds an addendum to the notion of impermanence, eh?

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

Sadly, The Bodhi Tree has only couple of months left. I think i read that they'll continue to sell online. Kind of adds an addendum to the notion of impermanence, eh?

 

That just ruined my day. Oh well, non-attachment. I hope their used store might continue?

[Encephalon]

That just ruined my day. Oh well, non-attachment. I hope their used store might continue?

 

I don't think so. You can search the article in LA Weekly. Amazon,and all of us who buy books online, are the fiends responsible.

[manitou]

Too bad about the Bodhi Tree.

That was an old haunt of mine from the old hippie days.

That and McCabe's Music in Santa Monica, where Doc Watson used to play.

And seeing Nina Simone at the Troubadour.

 

Woof.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

I sometimes eat a cold, strawberry Pop Tart, and guiltily enjoy the hell out of it.

 

There, I said it.

[manitou]

You're getting totally out of hand.

[manitou]

Do you feel the ebb and flow of your own inspiration?