How to get rid of lust?

[Badogue]

Im looking for some WELL KNOWN method from some master to get rid of lust.

 

I think lust causes me wet dreams and premature ejac. So Im trying to find a goog way to clean my mind of years of accumulated lust images provenient from pornography.

Edited December 12, 2010 by Badogue

[Aaron]

Im looking for some WELL KNOWN method from some master to get rid of lust.

 

I think lust causes me wet dreams and premature ejac. So Im trying to find a goog way to clean my mind of years of accumulated lust images provenient from pornography.

 

 

I'm saying this with complete sincerity and this isn't meant to be a joke. Masturbate. If you have thoughts of sex and lust is preoccupying your life, then masturbate. If you have a problem with excessive masturbation (I'll leave that up to you to decide), you may want to check out some types of treatment, but the fact is there's nothing wrong with lust, it's a basic natural physiological response, that we're intended to have. Masturbation is a completely natural way to deal with that innate desire.

 

Aaron

[Astral_Anima]

Im looking for some WELL KNOWN method from some master to get rid of lust.

 

I think lust causes me wet dreams and premature ejac. So Im trying to find a goog way to clean my mind of years of accumulated lust images provenient from pornography.

 

Well I have my own ways which work for me, i'm no "Master" but i know how things affect me and that many others who try what I have get amazing "results". One thing that I hope is obvious at this point, is to stop looking at porn, stop looking at women in lustful ways. What i've actually noticed is that what i've done changed the way I viewed everything really. I went from wanting women's bodies as sexual stimulation (eye candy) to wanting to see them happy. Lust is when you're focusing on your own pleasure, on "getting off" when when you focus on HER pleasure and you forget about your own, then you open up to a whole new reality. For example can you feel satisfied giving a girl full body massages, going down on them, etc and not getting anything sexual in return? If not then you're still held tightly in the jaws of lust, lol. Honestly I like the whole daoist saying "When your jing is full you won't think about sex", I doubt my jing is full but it's nice to be free to think of what I want to think of without having out of control urges bodily or otherwise. It's nice to be in control of my thoughts and actions

If you'd like to know my method jus say so, if you're set of getting a method from a "master" then I hope you find what you're looking for

 

-Astral

 

Edit: Twinner- Just to offer a counterpoint, there are alot who would say that lust isn't natural or balanced at all. While Attraction, Love and Intimacy are all great joys in life lust is unbalanced and often causes problems. From a spiritual persepctive I believe we were meant to be in control of our bodies, not a slave to thier urges (which in and of them selves I believe are unnatural and have causes which I won't get into). Just thought i'd offer another perspective. Peace to you/

Edited December 12, 2010 by Astral_Anima

[Guest sykkelpump]

Im looking for some WELL KNOWN method from some master to get rid of lust.

 

I think lust causes me wet dreams and premature ejac. So Im trying to find a goog way to clean my mind of years of accumulated lust images provenient from pornography.

bodri had a method for this problem,I will see if I can find the link or the epost i got.but mainly it is that you wisualize yourself as a red sun that is burning up and leaves you as empty space

[Guest sykkelpump]

[Badogue]

I'm saying this with complete sincerity and this isn't meant to be a joke. Masturbate. If you have thoughts of sex and lust is preoccupying your life, then masturbate. If you have a problem with excessive masturbation (I'll leave that up to you to decide), you may want to check out some types of treatment, but the fact is there's nothing wrong with lust, it's a basic natural physiological response, that we're intended to have. Masturbation is a completely natural way to deal with that innate desire.

 

Aaron

 

Thanks for your advice but after 2 years trying to control premature ejac. now I can say that that problem was caused by excessive masturbation and porn stuff attached in my mind. Thats why I can masturbate over 30 minutes if I dont think. But if some lust thought comes into my mind, then I imeddiately ejaculate. Even the smallest tought.

 

 

Well I have my own ways which work for me, i'm no "Master" but i know how things affect me and that many others who try what I have get amazing "results". One thing that I hope is obvious at this point, is to stop looking at porn, stop looking at women in lustful ways. What i've actually noticed is that what i've done changed the way I viewed everything really. I went from wanting women's bodies as sexual stimulation (eye candy) to wanting to see them happy. Lust is when you're focusing on your own pleasure, on "getting off" when when you focus on HER pleasure and you forget about your own, then you open up to a whole new reality. For example can you feel satisfied giving a girl full body massages, going down on them, etc and not getting anything sexual in return? If not then you're still held tightly in the jaws of lust, lol. Honestly I like the whole daoist saying "When your jing is full you won't think about sex", I doubt my jing is full but it's nice to be free to think of what I want to think of without having out of control urges bodily or otherwise. It's nice to be in control of my thoughts and actions

If you'd like to know my method jus say so, if you're set of getting a method from a "master" then I hope you find what you're looking for

 

-Astral

 

Edit: Twinner- Just to offer a counterpoint, there are alot who would say that lust isn't natural or balanced at all. While Attraction, Love and Intimacy are all great joys in life lust is unbalanced and often causes problems. From a spiritual persepctive I believe we were meant to be in control of our bodies, not a slave to thier urges (which in and of them selves I believe are unnatural and have causes which I won't get into). Just thought i'd offer another perspective. Peace to you/

 

Good points. Thats exactly what Im doing right now, dont reacting for lust stimulus, and also doing some meditaiton to train the mind to not respond. I dont masturbate more (2 years now), or better saying, I masturbate for traning to last more, but I end up without ejac.

 

 

bodri had a method for this problem,I will see if I can find the link or the epost i got.but mainly it is that you wisualize yourself as a red sun that is burning up and leaves you as empty space

 

I would like to see it. Thank you.

Edited December 12, 2010 by Badogue

[Badogue]

[Aetherous]

Stay mentally and physically busy constantly. This gives you no time to indulge in sexual thoughts.

 

The best place I experienced for training in celibacy was basic training for the military. The less women where you are, the better. The less free time, the better.

 

However, if you're purposely training to be celibate, you're already focusing too much on the goal and it will ruin your plans.

 

It's like reverse psychology. If I say "don't think about a red fire hydrant" guess what? You just did.

 

So your focus should be on other things...taking one day at a time. If you think about sex, you're already going down the wrong path, and it will quickly snowball into failure.

 

Other than being celibate for 100 days training, etc, I don't see much of a purpose in decreasing your sex drive. Guys are supposed to get horny! Unless you have a serious problem, like you compulsively masturbate every hour or something, maybe you should just chill out about it?

[Badogue]

Stay mentally and physically busy constantly. This gives you no time to indulge in sexual thoughts.

 

The best place I experienced for training in celibacy was basic training for the military. The less women where you are, the better. The less free time, the better.

 

However, if you're purposely training to be celibate, you're already focusing too much on the goal and it will ruin your plans.

 

It's like reverse psychology. If I say "don't think about a red fire hydrant" guess what? You just did.

 

So your focus should be on other things...taking one day at a time. If you think about sex, you're already going down the wrong path, and it will quickly snowball into failure.

 

Other than being celibate for 100 days training, etc, I don't see much of a purpose in decreasing your sex drive. Guys are supposed to get horny! Unless you have a serious problem, like you compulsively masturbate every hour or something, maybe you should just chill out about it?

 

Beeing mentally and physically busy constantly its not enought for me. I work, I study and after 2 years the problem with premature ejac, stills. I must get rid of years of accumulated porn attached in my mind.

 

Anyway thanks you.

[Aetherous]

Oh I see what you mean now. My bad.

[Aaron]

Edit: Twinner- Just to offer a counterpoint, there are alot who would say that lust isn't natural or balanced at all. While Attraction, Love and Intimacy are all great joys in life lust is unbalanced and often causes problems. From a spiritual persepctive I believe we were meant to be in control of our bodies, not a slave to thier urges (which in and of them selves I believe are unnatural and have causes which I won't get into). Just thought i'd offer another perspective. Peace to you/

 

It certainly worked for the Roman Catholic Priests and those Buddhist Monks in Sri Lanka. (Don't worry I'm sure some Taoist monks that practice "celibacy" have molested children as well.) My point isn't that all people who are celibate molest children, but rather that most people who practice abstinence or feel the need to practice abstinence, do so because they have a twisted unnatural perspective of sex. Most people who have a natural and normal view of sex see abstinence as silly and a bit creepy. I have yet to hear of any healthy abstinence and those that endeavor to commit to it, normally do so because they have a distinct issue regarding sex that lends them to believe abstinence will cure that problem. I would recommend therapy rather than abstinence.

 

Aaron

Edited December 13, 2010 by Twinner

[Maddie]

There are already so many threads about this topic, so I'm starting to feel like a parot talking about this, but I'll say it again just cause I sympathise with this issue.

 

If the problem is simply pre-mature ejaculation this is considered a kidney yin deficiency in TCM. There are good herbs for this if your interested, or you can go to an acupuncturist and get them from them. Here is a site you can order these herbs from... http://www.agelessherbs.com/YinValleyFormula.html

 

The homeopathic remedy Staphysagria is indicated from excessive masturbation and sexual thoughts.

 

The sacral chakra is the chakra that has to do with sex, so focusing a lot on this point when doing the MCO helps as well.

[Astral_Anima]

It certainly worked for the Roman Catholic Priests and those Buddhist Monks in Sri Lanka. (Don't worry I'm sure some Taoist monks that practice "celibacy" have molested children as well.) My point isn't that all people who are celibate molest children, but rather that most people who practice abstinence or feel the need to practice abstinence, do so because they have a twisted unnatural perspective of sex. Most people who have a natural and normal view of sex see abstinence as silly and a bit creepy. I have yet to hear of any healthy abstinence and those that endeavor to commit to it, normally do so because they have a distinct issue regarding sex that lends them to believe abstinence will cure that problem. I would recommend therapy rather than abstinence.

 

Aaron

 

 

I do not know the accounts of the buddhist monks or Taoist monks you speak of, however I can offer my own views upon this as counterpoint. Personally I've suffered with lust for QUITE a while...actually only like 4-6years cause i'm still kinda young. However when I went out to "cure" my lust I found that simply trying to control myself didn't work for the long term and that I needed to get to the ROOT. So I bagan to observe everything that effected my sex drive and began to research into it. Becoming a vegetarian REALLY helped. It got rid of my anger and aggression, which I used to work into my sexual fantasies. Then I tried fasting and noticed that while I was fasting I was super aware of myself and I was in complete control. I had no overpowering urges (but was experiencing much weakness). Eventually I began to notice the habits that fueled my lust. Personally I did it through a little mental work but mostly through diet. I don't REALLY want to get into it all because it's rather lengthy but the short version is by eating a diet of raw fruits,sprouts, egg yolks and milk (all raw, unpasteurized) I was able to keep my sex drive under control which made my mental re-programming MUCH easier. As soon as I ate solid cooked food or any other stimulant like white sugar, i immediatly became very horny and my mental work became much harder to do. You dont need a "master" or energy work to do this, I believe it's your body and mind's natural state. And for me as long as I don't put into my body anything that screws it up so I don't feel overpowering urges, however I DID test my "performance" and I lasted pretty much indefinately. The whole time I was just enjoying the energy exchange and her smiling face

 

hmm, lengthier than I wanted. O well.

 

-Astral

[Badogue]

There are already so many threads about this topic, so I'm starting to feel like a parot talking about this, but I'll say it again just cause I sympathise with this issue.

 

If the problem is simply pre-mature ejaculation this is considered a kidney yin deficiency in TCM. There are good herbs for this if your interested, or you can go to an acupuncturist and get them from them. Here is a site you can order these herbs from... http://www.agelessherbs.com/YinValleyFormula.html

 

The homeopathic remedy Staphysagria is indicated from excessive masturbation and sexual thoughts.

 

The sacral chakra is the chakra that has to do with sex, so focusing a lot on this point when doing the MCO helps as well.

 

Im confused. My acupunturist said that type of problem is YANG deficience, no Yin. I dont trust chinese medicines since they can be fake and have lots of junk like heavy metals. Also, I recently did 20 sessions of acupuntur trating my kidneys, also moxabuston, but the problem stills. I still think its alla bout lust and toughts.

Also, I have no symptoms of kidney problems. No one. so...

Edited December 13, 2010 by Badogue

[Aetherous]

Badogue,

 

Do you practice meditation? That's a good way to redirect the focus of your thoughts. Many people find breath meditation to be helpful in releasing unwanted thoughts.

 

Also, in my opinion lust is just unrefined or misdirected love. If you focus more on the qualities of the heart, you can gradually change your lust into love. You could try practicing inner smile.

 

The more you push away the lustful thoughts that come, the more you choose to keep them under the surface of your mind. But if you observe them, and then practice breathing and inner smile in that moment, you can change your mind.

 

Just another suggestion for you!

[fiveelementtao]

Im looking for some WELL KNOWN method from some master to get rid of lust.

 

I think lust causes me wet dreams and premature ejac. So Im trying to find a goog way to clean my mind of years of accumulated lust images provenient from pornography.

Stay away from pornography and find a girlfriend who wants to explore your spiritual path and have normal emotionally fulfilling sex with her. The way to satiate sexual feelings is to satisfy them in a healthy way.

 

The sure method to increase lust is to forcefully abstain from sex.

[King Kabalabhati]

Sounds like emotional blockage to me. You will need a process. Of course a girlfriend could be nice but do her a favor and first get balance through diet, qigong, mental breakdown, whatever it takes.

[hajimesaito]

I remember starting exactly the same thread (http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/16350-practices-to-reduce-or-eliminate-the-influence-of-lust/) about a month ago because I was also looking to get rid of all the conditioning of mind by pornographic influences. There were various opinions provided by many bums there.

 

But personally, what worked the best for me was the to increase my physical activity. As such I had always been of a more athletic nature, and regularly run/jog and practice martial arts. But the period when that activity had reduced for me, lust seems to have gained greater influence in my mind. However, after again reverting to my routine physical exercises, I could once again defeat lust. Not to say that now I don't get aroused by looking at something sensual, but that my mind is strong enough for me to not look at it at the first place!

 

Seating meditation never worked for me; on the contrary, if I sit in meditation for some time, I tend to get spontaneous erections! So I guess everyone will have to find their own way of controlling their desires. Defeating desires/attachments is all Buddhism/Taoism is about after all.

[Otis]

Personally, I don't believe that our paths call us to "get rid of" anything that we were born with. There is nothing in the human body (other than maybe the appendix) that does not serve a purpose. As several people pointed out, what you try to hold down or eradicate will only grow in its power over you. What I recommend is changing your relationship to lust, rather than trying to rid yourself of it.

 

Have a sense of humor about it; allow yourself to fall into lust, but with awareness. The big mental step is merely surrendering the justification. When you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of lust, remind yourself that it's just a game, just a test of your awareness. Rather than trying to value women instead of lusting after them, allow yourself to feel both. There is no wrong feeling, only unhealthy relationship to the feeling.

 

As far as premature ejaculation goes, I think the best remedy is practice! Best bet: find someone who will join you in your exploration. Be utterly honest with her or him, about your previous issues, and be clear in your request that you explore that territory together.

 

Face it; once you are with that girl (or guy) in bed, you will have to face lust. In fact, lust is the whole reason you're there. So why see lust as the enemy? See it instead as the context, in which you are expanding your current repertoire of capacity. There is nothing to overcome or defeat; the lust is part of you, so don't try to defeat yourself. Just become friends with all of you, including your lust.

[TheSongsofDistantEarth]

You could

 

edit: for self-censor

Edited December 14, 2010 by TheSongsofDistantEarth

[RongzomFan]

My recommendation is get a vasectomy and indulge in lust.

[NeiChuan]

My recommendation is get a vasectomy and indulge in lust.

 

Did not expect that. Ofcourse that's a perspective aswell.

[Badogue]

Sounds like emotional blockage to me. You will need a process. Of course a girlfriend could be nice but do her a favor and first get balance through diet, qigong, mental breakdown, whatever it takes.

 

Good. Im already in this process. Thanks

 

I remember starting exactly the same thread (http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/16350-practices-to-reduce-or-eliminate-the-influence-of-lust/) about a month ago because I was also looking to get rid of all the conditioning of mind by pornographic influences. There were various opinions provided by many bums there.

 

But personally, what worked the best for me was the to increase my physical activity. As such I had always been of a more athletic nature, and regularly run/jog and practice martial arts. But the period when that activity had reduced for me, lust seems to have gained greater influence in my mind. However, after again reverting to my routine physical exercises, I could once again defeat lust. Not to say that now I don't get aroused by looking at something sensual, but that my mind is strong enough for me to not look at it at the first place!

 

Seating meditation never worked for me; on the contrary, if I sit in meditation for some time, I tend to get spontaneous erections! So I guess everyone will have to find their own way of controlling their desires. Defeating desires/attachments is all Buddhism/Taoism is about after all.

 

 

"increase physical activity" Good point also. Im already doing this. Thanks

 

Personally, I don't believe that our paths call us to "get rid of" anything that we were born with. There is nothing in the human body (other than maybe the appendix) that does not serve a purpose. As several people pointed out, what you try to hold down or eradicate will only grow in its power over you. What I recommend is changing your relationship to lust, rather than trying to rid yourself of it.

 

Have a sense of humor about it; allow yourself to fall into lust, but with awareness. The big mental step is merely surrendering the justification. When you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of lust, remind yourself that it's just a game, just a test of your awareness. Rather than trying to value women instead of lusting after them, allow yourself to feel both. There is no wrong feeling, only unhealthy relationship to the feeling.

 

As far as premature ejaculation goes, I think the best remedy is practice! Best bet: find someone who will join you in your exploration. Be utterly honest with her or him, about your previous issues, and be clear in your request that you explore that territory together.

 

Face it; once you are with that girl (or guy) in bed, you will have to face lust. In fact, lust is the whole reason you're there. So why see lust as the enemy? See it instead as the context, in which you are expanding your current repertoire of capacity. There is nothing to overcome or defeat; the lust is part of you, so don't try to defeat yourself. Just become friends with all of you, including your lust.

 

Very wise words my friend. I think my idea is the same of your. Thanks.

 

My recommendation is get a vasectomy and indulge in lust.

 

It was a well intentioned joke?

[Maddie]

I think the "emotional blockage" comment is worthy of more focus. I have found that the cold draw is effective at reducing the physical desire, but one thing I discovered after eliminating physical desire is how much emotional issues played into things as well. I think it is important to observe with in yourself what types of emotions you have about sex so that you can identify what the real emotional issue is.

For example if one pretty much simply wants to "get off" in the physical sense this could point to a root chakra blockage. If they want to be able to seduce women for their ego than this points towards a solar plexus issue, ect... So trying to decipher what type of emotions drive your libido is helpful in bringing balance.

[Sunya]

Decondition yourself. Look into classical conditioning and what is called extinction. You've conditioned yourself (as many have, including I) to associate the female form with the desire for pleasure and release of tension. What really worked for me as a way to decondition was to watch porn and contemplate impermanence and death. This may sound kind of morbid, but it really works. You can imagine that the bodies are decaying. Really imagine what's underneath the skin, all of the muscle tendons and organs and skeleton. Contemplate how those females are just human beings who live normal lives full of suffering with momentary happiness. There is an actual person over there, not just a sexual object. That's how you decondition yourself.