Starjumper Posted January 7, 2011 It's a flexibly minded Buddhists view. Beyond Buddhism I call it! My, that could make a great book title. 'Beyond Buddhism', 'tired of the same old enlightenment? Sick being dependent on your origination? Well buy 'Beyond Buddhism - The Secret Level!' today to find out this kick ass system that is way better than anything that Buddha guy taught!' $5.95. BUT only Today!! Faaantastic! Might as well make fun of them, logic doesn't work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that Posted January 7, 2011 Faaantastic! Might as well make fun of them, logic doesn't work. Ahh, but starjumper, you mis-understand! You see what they don't realize is they are practicing 'modified Buddhism'. Mr Buddha in fact taught everyone a form of Buddhism that would only take them to a certain level! For years now I have been in touch with a 'closed door' student of Sid Arther Good Hammer; and he has taught me the secret level....that NO ONE, AND i DO MEAN no one GETS TO, EXCEPT ME AND HIM AND BUDDHA! It kicks sand in the face of all the other Buddhist levels. I am willing to reveal all this in this one time offer! All I require is $5.95 as a mark of faith!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted January 7, 2011 Ahh, but starjumper, you mis-understand! You see what they don't realize is they are practicing 'modified Buddhism'. Mr Buddha in fact taught everyone a form of Buddhism that would only take them to a certain level! For years now I have been in touch with a 'closed door' student of Sid Arther Good Hammer; and he has taught me the secret level....that NO ONE, AND i DO MEAN no one GETS TO, EXCEPT ME AND HIM AND BUDDHA! It kicks sand in the face of all the other Buddhist levels. I am willing to reveal all this in this one time offer! All I require is $5.95 as a mark of faith!! I have forwarded an illusory cheque which you may cash at the bank of Karmic Records - I want to be that Buddhist who believes also in a single god. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Starjumper Posted January 7, 2011 Ahh, but starjumper, you mis-understand! You see what they don't realize is they are practicing 'modified Buddhism'. Mr Buddha in fact taught everyone a form of Buddhism that would only take them to a certain level! For years now I have been in touch with a 'closed door' student of Sid Arther Good Hammer; and he has taught me the secret level....that NO ONE, AND i DO MEAN no one GETS TO, EXCEPT ME AND HIM AND BUDDHA! It kicks sand in the face of all the other Buddhist levels. I am willing to reveal all this in this one time offer! All I require is $5.95 as a mark of faith!! That's good, but there's something missing from your sales pitch I can't quite put my finger on it. any suggestions anyone? Maybe if you raised the price to 200$ and wore silk pajamas? I know having slanty eyes makes a huge difference, do you have any? That alone is worth $400. But then you would have to put up with people complaining about the price even though they aren't interested anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheJourney Posted January 7, 2011 You can look at the buddha as god...of course, not the western concept of god, but god nonetheless. It's all semantics anyways. It all comes down to how you define god. Because westerners have had the christian idea of god stuffed down their throats, they fear calling buddha god. But really it's not a big deal. You're god too, if you choose to view it that way, with the buddha nature and what not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
strawdog65 Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) Just wanted to add: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JBQPCHHK0Q&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf5aYzbB4JM&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EadMQ4cnK8A&feature=related Edited January 8, 2011 by strawdog65 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) I have forwarded an illusory cheque which you may cash at the bank of Karmic Records - I want to be that Buddhist who believes also in a single god. And so you can! With 'beyond Buddhism -The Secret Level'! Buddha secretly merged all the major religions together in one kick ass system! Worship who you like! Jehova, Mo-humid, Jesus AND get this Lao Tzu AT THE SAME TIME! WHY DIDN'T HE TEACH THIS TO EVERYONE YOU ASK? WELL QUITE SIMPLY THIS SYSTEM IS DEVASTATING! It's like the religious version of Bruce Lees Jeet Kune Do, only better! With my system...sorry I mean Buddhas system... you will be able to: Turn the other cheek and smack 'em in the mouth should you choose (karma free) Get not 72 virgins upon death? NO, in Beyond Budhism you get 144!!! Be one of Gods chosen ones without doing a thing(CIRCUMCISION -FORGET ABOUT IT!)!!! All this and MUCH MUCH MORE!! I know having slanty eyes makes a huge difference, do you have any? That alone is worth $400. Shit! But then you would have to put up with people complaining about the price even though they aren't interested anyway. And that's why we have 'Beyond Buddhism -The Secret Level VIP, the instructors course '. Tell me, how much would you pay for instant enlightenment and attaining the secret level? Also having a business where by people would be throwing alms at you daily? 1 million dollars? 500,000 DOLLARS??? nO, TODAY, because I'm so enlightened I'm offering this to you for $195!! Some people have suggested I could sell this system for $200 or even $400 dollars, but I said enlightenment and the secret level is for everyone!!! Need some convincing? OK! Check this out: Tired of the same old siddihs? good, because Buddha actually taught a secret set of siddhis, that only I know! For example....and I'm giving away a HUGE secret here... Learn how to communicate with inanimate objects! Find out what they are thinking, their hopes, dreams and desires and use that knowledge to dominate them! Follow my 5 step siddhi system and they will be putty in your hands!! Sofas, refrigerators and Doritos. My system will have them doing anything you want!!! They will be aching for you! P.U.A? NO....P.U.O (pick up object) Women? Forget about it! With 'Beyond Buddhism' after you have attained the secret level women will, quite literally, throw themselves at your feet! Order today! I'll not be around forever, I'll be ascending anytime soon! Waste no time in attaining your birthright! ORDER NOW! If you order now I'll even throw in a bonus, and this in itself has been valued at $5.95! And this is GOLD, 'Buddhist pick up lines 101', in this killer report you'll learn all the pick up lines the most enlightened masters use, people like me; for example, and this always works for me "weren't you my mother in another lifetime?" or the MASSIVE "You've been a very bad girl, it's time for you to balance your karma by coming back to my place". This offer is only available today. Edit: due to my own over excitement at what a fantastic offer this is. Edited January 8, 2011 by Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birch Posted January 8, 2011 Don't forget the special introductory gift! Free "laughing buddha" with every subscription Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that Posted January 8, 2011 Don't forget the special introductory gift! Free "laughing buddha" with every subscription Good point! But I was thinking more along the lines of a blessed fridge magnet, a magnet that also attracts wealth, health and stationary, all that good stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Starjumper Posted January 8, 2011 Whew! I was laughing so hard I was crying buckets. Wonderful! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adept Posted January 8, 2011 This thread is hilarious. Nearly spat my oolong all over my lovely Mac. :lol: 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Kabalabhati Posted January 8, 2011 This thread is hilarious. Nearly spat my oolong all over my lovely Mac. :lol: Watch it! My son spilled Cerassie tea (the very bitter stuff) over my Imac and the space button and the n button stopped working. For some time I had to cut n paste them! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
9th Posted January 8, 2011 Experiencing first hand the relativity of perception in regards to conceptual thought is a good start. Next up, the eradication of latent tendencies. Its usually much less fun, and it can take quite a while. When the crusty inner shell has finally been cracked, the first glimpse of light is overpowering in its intensity. Gradually, one becomes accustomed to this clarity and slowly realizes the actual state of one's own petrification. Then the work begins in earnest. Some have mentioned thoughts of hubris. This is a natural response. It is a sign of things to come, the pride before the fall - which is also natural, and also necessary for the process. The journey to the underworld and the return of the hero is not just an interesting story, but also an intimation of the greater purpose of the Orphic mysteries. Dealing with the ideas of "enlightenment" and "truth" and "freedom" and "infinity" and so forth is one way to approach the path. However, ideas as conceptual constructions do not have nearly the same energetic impact as emotions and sensations. These other realms are much more difficult to work with. Yet the path of Tao is holistic and includes not only mind, but body and spirit as well. It deals with the integration and union of all facets and attunement of them to the harmony of all things. In particular the ideas unravel very quickly. For example people may want to shout from the rooftops: "I am free!!!" - its a common expression from beginners - yet if this is really the case, you should be able to teleport wherever you want and fly off into the sky like a bird. However, if you cannot do that - you are not actually "free", but instead must realize the constraints and laws you have no choice but to obey. So you are not free of the law of gravity. What has become free is a very small portion of the whole of experience, the totality. This totality is the real deal, the main point of practice. Your body is not just some "illusion" that you can ignore whenever you want. Otherwise, you can stab yourself all day, chop off your legs, burn your eyeballs out - and not feel any pain. But if you attempt that experiment you will soon discover how "real" this so called "illusion" actually is in terms of your own perception. The puppet strings run deep, and quite distantly. Far deeper and more distantly than the self-image would ever admit to itself or anyone else. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted January 8, 2011 The puppet strings run deep, and quite distantly. Far deeper and more distantly than the self-image would ever admit to itself or anyone else. Yep! Incredible aint it. It just goes on and on. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vajrahridaya Posted January 8, 2011 It's a flexibly minded Buddhists view. Beyond Buddhism I call it! My, that could make a great book title. 'Beyond Buddhism', 'tired of the same old enlightenment? Sick being dependent on your origination? Well buy 'Beyond Buddhism - The Secret Level!' today to find out this kick ass system that is way better than anything that Buddha guy taught!' $5.95. BUT only Today!! This is funny... But, it's true... one can't be a monotheist and a Buddhist at the same time. Not in the way monotheism is defined by religions that fit that dictionary definition. Also, to really be a Buddhist and follow the Buddhist way, you take refuge in the Buddha, dharma and sangha, but you don't take refuge in the Buddha in a monotheist sense, just in the sense of an enlightened guide that helps you to your own Buddhahood. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vajrahridaya Posted January 8, 2011 Get not 72 virgins upon death? NO, in Beyond Budhism you get 144!!! Wow!! No need for condoms either?? Be one of Gods chosen ones without doing a thing(CIRCUMCISION -FORGET ABOUT IT!)!!! Ah... too late! Can I get my foreskin back if I apply now?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aetherous Posted January 9, 2011 Experiencing first hand the relativity of perception in regards to conceptual thought is a good start. Next up, the eradication of latent tendencies. Its usually much less fun, and it can take quite a while. When the crusty inner shell has finally been cracked, the first glimpse of light is overpowering in its intensity. Gradually, one becomes accustomed to this clarity and slowly realizes the actual state of one's own petrification. Then the work begins in earnest. Some have mentioned thoughts of hubris. This is a natural response. It is a sign of things to come, the pride before the fall - which is also natural, and also necessary for the process. The journey to the underworld and the return of the hero is not just an interesting story, but also an intimation of the greater purpose of the Orphic mysteries. Dealing with the ideas of "enlightenment" and "truth" and "freedom" and "infinity" and so forth is one way to approach the path. However, ideas as conceptual constructions do not have nearly the same energetic impact as emotions and sensations. These other realms are much more difficult to work with. Yet the path of Tao is holistic and includes not only mind, but body and spirit as well. It deals with the integration and union of all facets and attunement of them to the harmony of all things. In particular the ideas unravel very quickly. For example people may want to shout from the rooftops: "I am free!!!" - its a common expression from beginners - yet if this is really the case, you should be able to teleport wherever you want and fly off into the sky like a bird. However, if you cannot do that - you are not actually "free", but instead must realize the constraints and laws you have no choice but to obey. So you are not free of the law of gravity. What has become free is a very small portion of the whole of experience, the totality. This totality is the real deal, the main point of practice. Your body is not just some "illusion" that you can ignore whenever you want. Otherwise, you can stab yourself all day, chop off your legs, burn your eyeballs out - and not feel any pain. But if you attempt that experiment you will soon discover how "real" this so called "illusion" actually is in terms of your own perception. The puppet strings run deep, and quite distantly. Far deeper and more distantly than the self-image would ever admit to itself or anyone else. Thanks for showing up and sharing the truth. Greatly needed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vajrahridaya Posted January 9, 2011 Thanks for showing up and sharing the truth. Greatly needed. Yup, great post! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
