Insatiable urge for stimulation in the evening

[FreeTheStig]

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Edited January 6, 2011 by FreeTheStig

[NeiChuan]

Lately I've been growing weary of potent desires that I experience nearly every evening. It seems to be a desire for stimulation of some sort, because sex & fantasy and or drugs and drink are the primary focus. Finding meager contentment in satiation when I succumb occasionally, and great angst and agitation when I don't. I'm not currently practicing retention since it seems to exacerbate it. Does anyone have any advice for cooling the flames?

 

 

Cool Picture. Just think of what these drugs/instant gratification things do for you.

 

Drugs and such elevate you to a point for little or no time, it's a bright and quick burn.. While the walk on self development gradually rises with it's benefits, while consistent.

 

It sounds like you need to slow down. I'd say meditate. Need to calm your emotional mind.

[Sloppy Zhang]

The more you try not not do something, the more you wind up doing it.

 

"Oh, it's 5:30, this is when I usually masturbate, I should stop masturbating because it takes me further from my spiritual quest. But the urge to masturbate is so strong, it's hard to overcome! Last time, I wanted to masturbate, and I actually did, and when I was doing it, I was fine, but after I just didn't feel like I accomplished anything. So I decided to stop masturbation. But here I am again, ugh, why!?"

 

How many times did the word, phrase, or thought "masturbation" show itself in this train of thoughts? No wonder people going through this process succumb every time! (you can replace this with any vice you are trying to overcome).

 

Rarely is the vice in question even a real problem (though some people do legitimately have issues with excess beforehand). The problem comes when you start trying to stop, and the above situation happens. In my experience, it's what happens because someone read somewhere, "to succeed in a spiritual quest, cut out your vices." So then they try and stop.

 

Rather than trying to stop something, it is infinitely easier, much more constructive, and far less dangerous to work TOWARDS something, rather than trying to work yourself OUT of something. Focus on something you want to do. Like jogging. Think about getting in physical shape as often as you can. Have an exercise routine, and stick to it. When you start having thoughts you want to get rid of, instead think of/do some kind of exercise, the simplest being going for a jog. You can replace this with whatever you want, but the point is still the same.

 

This gets you accomplishing something successfully, and it also starts to work the vice out of your life.

 

Getting rid of a vice should not be a pre-requisite (or even a co-requisite) for spiritual practice. It should come as a result. Don't think you gotta rid yourself of any unsavory element before, or even as, you do a spiritual practice. Do your practice, and over time, you find the unsavory aspects of yourself fall away on their own.

 

At least, in my humble opinion, and in my limited experience.

Edited January 2, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[idquest]

Lately I've been growing weary of potent desires that I experience nearly every evening. It seems to be a desire for stimulation of some sort, because sex & fantasy and or drugs and drink are the primary focus. Finding meager contentment in satiation when I succumb occasionally, and great angst and agitation when I don't. I'm not currently practicing retention since it seems to exacerbate it. Does anyone have any advice for cooling the flames?

How much meat and fats do you eat? What portion of veges is in your diet?

[Otis]

The more you try not not do something, the more you wind up doing it.

 

"Oh, it's 5:30, this is when I usually masturbate, I should stop masturbating because it takes me further from my spiritual quest. But the urge to masturbate is so strong, it's hard to overcome! Last time, I wanted to masturbate, and I actually did, and when I was doing it, I was fine, but after I just didn't feel like I accomplished anything. So I decided to stop masturbation. But here I am again, ugh, why!?"

 

How many times did the word, phrase, or thought "masturbation" show itself in this train of thoughts? No wonder people going through this process succumb every time! (you can replace this with any vice you are trying to overcome).

 

Rarely is the vice in question even a real problem (though some people do legitimately have issues with excess beforehand). The problem comes when you start trying to stop, and the above situation happens. In my experience, it's what happens because someone read somewhere, "to succeed in a spiritual quest, cut out your vices." So then they try and stop.

 

Rather than trying to stop something, it is infinitely easier, much more constructive, and far less dangerous to work TOWARDS something, rather than trying to work yourself OUT of something. Focus on something you want to do. Like jogging. Think about getting in physical shape as often as you can. Have an exercise routine, and stick to it. When you start having thoughts you want to get rid of, instead think of/do some kind of exercise, the simplest being going for a jog. You can replace this with whatever you want, but the point is still the same.

 

This gets you accomplishing something successfully, and it also starts to work the vice out of your life.

 

Getting rid of a vice should not be a pre-requisite (or even a co-requisite) for spiritual practice. It should come as a result. Don't think you gotta rid yourself of any unsavory element before, or even as, you do a spiritual practice. Do your practice, and over time, you find the unsavory aspects of yourself fall away on their own.

 

At least, in my humble opinion, and in my limited experience.

Awesome!

[FreeTheStig]

1

Edited February 19, 2015 by FreeTheStig

[Apech]

Just do more practice esp. sitting meditation ... concentrate on building up the positive and slowly try to reduce the gratification - so one replaces the other - don't make drastic changes unless you are actually harming yourself (or others). Don't worry if you give in to it ... just go back to practice and start again ... at least 3 months for any real change ... probably longer ... no rush ...

 

PS. Basically what Sloppy said.

Edited January 2, 2011 by Apech
added after-thought

[三江源]

Lately I've been growing weary of potent desires that I experience nearly every evening. It seems to be a desire for stimulation of some sort, because sex & fantasy and or drugs and drink are the primary focus. Finding meager contentment in satiation when I succumb occasionally, and great angst and agitation when I don't. I'm not currently practicing retention since it seems to exacerbate it. Does anyone have any advice for cooling the flames?

 

Hi there. My guess is that your avatar is a picture of what would sort your evening restlessness.

[Astral_Anima]

Lately I've been growing weary of potent desires that I experience nearly every evening. It seems to be a desire for stimulation of some sort, because sex & fantasy and or drugs and drink are the primary focus. Finding meager contentment in satiation when I succumb occasionally, and great angst and agitation when I don't. I'm not currently practicing retention since it seems to exacerbate it. Does anyone have any advice for cooling the flames?

 

As one who has successfully dealt with these "issues" I can share what i've done for myself personally but there's no guarantee that it'll work for you.

 

When the body faces a toxic substance whether it be alchohol, excessive stimulation, depression, etc, it creates a tolerance to it. Now think of the poison as a "pushing" force; the tolerance is created as an equal pushing force to try to maintain balance. So when the substance is no longer there then the tolerance is still "pushing" and thus you crave the toxins because you feel like it creates "balance". The trick is to eliminate the toxin and wait out the "tolerance" because it dissolves over time. I believe that popularly known as withdrawl. There's withdrawl to alot of things we get used to, sex, certain foods, drugs, attention, ego.

 

Anyway, what has personally worked for me was a change in diet, a change in physical activity and a change in environment.

 

-When it comes to diet, I switched to a raw food diet. Now when you first switch you may not notice much, however i've gone back and forth and have noticed the difference. With me personally cooked foods lower my awareness, increase sex drive, make me tired and lethargic and are overall a drain. So i've switch to a diet of primarily raw milk and fruits which has helped immensly (the raw fats in the milk trigger the "full" response in the body which stops overeating and because it increases serotonin it also soothes emotional eating). Since in most ancient medicines they say meat, and spicy foods arouse anger and sex drive, i avoid those. In the Indian tradition they have the 3 kinds of foods, I forget the first two, but the 3rd was "sattvic" (or sumthing like that) which was usually the "sweet" flavour which was the most "spiritual" and "light" of all foods to eat. ( http://www.thelivingcentre.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=38:peace-through-a-sattvic-diet&catid=17:general&Itemid=164 )

 

-Second I started exercising more. For me, ejaculation, and drugs are draining activities and I only crave them when I have too much energy. So with proper exercise I use/circulate that spare energy constructively. When I first switch to a raw fruit diet my energy skyrocketed so much I went from a sedentary lifestyle to jogging 5 miles a day OVERNIGHT (it's amazing how much free energy we have when we're not constantly digesting).

 

-Third and finally is the mind. Remember the 3 chinese monkeys? See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. It's simply the more you see something, the more you say something and the more you hear something to more it becomes your reality. Therefore avoiding pornography, negative draining people and certain environments that induced thoughts that were counterproductive and increasing exposure to motivating positive things that are more in line with what you're trying to do/be.

 

Hope you find what works for you

-Astral

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Hi there. My guess is that your avatar is a picture of what would sort your evening restlessness.

 

That avatar of his is what's making me restless!