Love and Relationships

[JohnC]

Oh if you think that is what I'm still trying to do you misunderstood, actually I am doing the opposite now, and realizing that sex is a normal healthy part of life, and that what I really felt uncomfortable with was loveless sex.

 

Awesome. This is what I was pointing at.

 

Cause sex can be a massive conduit for heart blowing open sex that has you feel bliss in just touching your woman and being close to each other.

 

John

[Maddie]

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

[Fire Dragon]

[markern]

There is also another possibility. A lot of girls will actually loose interest fast if you don`t sleep with them after the second, third, fourht or whatever meet. This will often be the case even if they explicitly tell you otherwise. On the other hand some girls would find a man that does not rush this the best thing ever. But it is a recuering phenomenon.

[Astral_Anima]

There is also another possibility. A lot of girls will actually loose interest fast if you don`t sleep with them after the second, third, fourht or whatever meet. This will often be the case even if they explicitly tell you otherwise. On the other hand some girls would find a man that does not rush this the best thing ever. But it is a recuering phenomenon.

 

This is indeed a truth. I believe women have just as powerful(no...WAY more powerful of) a sex drive as men... prolly cause of the similarity in the way they're raised. Again, it's my belief that the draw to sex is two or threefold. Obviously we've just got the purely physical urge for release caused by bodily toxicity which nearly EVERYONE shares. Sexual fluids act as a solvent to release heavy undigested proteins, inorganic minerals, damaged genetic material and excess sugar in the bloodstream which is in excess in our typical diet. The there's the emotional level. From a psychological point of view since men are taught to be emotionally "Dead" then as fathers they usually emotionally neglect their daughters which may cause their daughters to overly seek attention from other male sources. Or just in general, if one isn't getting love vibrations then they'll seek the next best thing, sex, which is EASY to get addicted to. Then there's energetically when one has a closed heart chakra they may seek out inimacy to re-open it. Then there's the "dark side" of sex which basically uses dark psychology to get men or women addicted to sex/the lover using hypnotic "anchors" and playing with the subconscious and the trance state.

 

 

As for libido...hey if it serves your goals then go for, but to say it's "healthy" or "good" universally would be a fallacy. Remember that as a spiritual being you decide your own fate, you make your own life. If you decide to dedicate your life to helping others or to energetic development/immortality then libido will likely end up a distraction. If you decide to live a life where it's not a distraction then it's fine. If you decide to live a life where sex is a heavy part of your life (like it is for so many Americans) then it's a good and healthy thing. Regarldess just know you have control of it. Understand what causes it and you're no longer a slave to it. Reduce your protein, inorganic minerals and sugars and the physical drive will disappear, open your heart chakra and become like a child and the energetic will disappear, learn to love and accept yourself and find healthy ways of expression and the psychological will disappear.

 

-Astral

Edited February 7, 2011 by Astral_Anima

[Astral_Anima]

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

 

True. Actually I've found that alot of men and women are just looking for stimulation and a "thrill". When you meet someone new it's very exciting because there's so much you don't know about them. Getting to know them becomes a game and if you play "mysterious" and "unpredictable" then it can be very arousing for them. I remember making friends with a girl and she would flirt with me and I would blow it off because I wasn't really that interested and she later admitted that she enjoyed "the challenge". Of course I got kinda annoyed with that because I'm sick of such childish mind games and the whole dating scene and psychology, but it just reaffirmed that people are indeed like that... but back to my point. Once the thrill of getting to know someone is over it can be confusing what to do next. When you're in the room with your partner and you don't know what to say because you've said it all... alot of people aren't comfortable just sitting and being in the other's presence, they need the stimulation, the thrill, the "chase" so then once someone basically "gives themself" to the other, then the other just walks away and looks for the next thrill. Of course when you give yourself to someone and they just walk away afterwards it can be rather devastating which is why there's a rule in the "dating community" to always keep and air of "mystery" or to constantly be "unpredictable" to be a "challenge". Of course this is fun, but not what everyone is looking for. Sometimes people just want to drop all the bullshit and finally be themselves in an accepting loving environment that they never got as a kid...

Or so is my current take on things...

 

-Astral

[Astral_Anima]

I realize that Buddhist monks live celibate lives, but for one most people are not monks, and two I'm not exactely sure why they do that, and further more am not sure if that is the best way to do it, or even necessary at all (maybe it is, but I don't get it).

 

You're forgetting Tantra ;p I believe most Buddhist monks are celibate more a couple of reasons.

 

1.) Sex is a "left hand" practice, meaning it's quick and powerful but is easy to screw up in. Since it multiplies the energy you have you have to be especially careful of your thoughts, words and deeds, especially when in the act. If one allows a slip of anger to come into their mind during sex/orgasm then that energy will be multiplied. Same with lust, fear, and any other negative energy. Therefore control of mind is a complete requisite for sexual work. Thus it's easier to just follow the "right hand" practices which are slow but much safer. That is their philosophy I believe. Since they don't completely understand what causes that desire and how to counteract it, nor do they have control of their minds it's probably best thy don't get involved. In today's world it's especially dangerous for any cultivators because most humans are already quite "dark" and will probably just use sex to multiply their negativity which may end up affecting you. To find a girl/guy who has sex as an expression of love and not a tool for lust is hard indeed. Most people view sex in a "goal oriented" way. The goal of sex is orgasm, the point of sex is orgasm. Whereas for the cultivator, usually there is no real "goal" in sex, it's just an expression of love, or if there is a goal it's to spend time bonding on a deep level with eachother. But even girls now are adopting this "male" "goal oriented" viewpoint of sex (thanks again to the media and societal programming).

 

2.) Energetic depletion. Sex expels quite a bit of energy and I've found that it also drains willpower if overused. Since it's related to the 2nd chakra and drains energy from that chakra (when ejaculation occurs) then it will drag energy from the solar plexus to help restore itself. Plus sex energy when not used for procreation can be used for spiritual transformation. So you can either feel good for 5-10 seconds every day or you can become a god...you're choice , lol.

 

3.) Simplicity. Monks try to live simple lives. You can't live a simple life with modern women, it's just not possible hahahaha. I kid, it's possible but to find one...ughhh, all that time you spend looking and bonding and f***ing and all that...you could spend all that time meditating. Monks are DEDICATED to spiritual practice. Many of us live to eat, live to have sex, live to sleep and live to die. Monks live to cultivate. I don't think many of us know what it means to be truly DEDICATED to spiritual practice. Would you give up your meats and excesses of food? Would you give up your TV's and home and families? Would you give up girls and comforts and pleasure of the flesh? Would you live alone on sunlight and water observing yourself, seeking only the truth? Buddha himself gave up his wife and 2 kids and his entire kingdom. He had foods, wine, a room of women, power, ... he gave it all up to sit under a tree for 6 years. Who here would do that? I know most think they cant, but who would try? Who would learn to give up food and drink and money and sex for true spiritual attainment? That is the dedication of a monk (or what it CAN be, lol i'm sure only VERY few are that dedicated).

 

Celibacy may not be the "best" way for everyone, but for those who want to "play it safe" and/or "keep it simple" then it's certainly a good way for them. In America simple isn't very popular, infact the people are so overstimulated and addicted that they find it "boring" and frown on it. Thus for them maybe insight + sex is a good thing, idk. Teh of course you have guys like drewhempel who sits celibate in full lotus give women multiple climaxes through his third eye while experiencing internal climaxes of his own. So we all have our own unique way of doing things hahaha. Man I miss drew

 

-Astral

[Maddie]

I have noticed as others were pointing out that the so called "dating rules" do seem to work, as I have used them before and they were effective, well effective if you wanted a girl to like you while you are totally not acting natural and yourself. So while I know this works at least on the surface level, I decided that I don't like playing these stupid immature and childish games. If someone is going to like me I want them to like me as I act completely myself, and not some facade I put on.

 

I read a book one time that said the heart chakra had two archetypes. The lover and the actor. It occured to me that while I was using these dating rules I was so much of an actor, and thus not getting in touch with my heart energy myself, and not letting anyone else really get in touch with my true heart also. So I'd rather have "less sucess" and find someone authentic, than meets lots of people in a superficial way.

 

As far as the other question, yes I do want to meet someone badly, but its because I want it so badly that this worries me. I have spent the last few days working exclusively on my heart, doing the heart inner smile and healing sound to get all those bad feelings in regards to a relationship out, and to increase positive loving heart energy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want someone, but I don't want to want someone too badly, if that makes sense.

 

I had contemplated that perhaps I should back off on sharing all the info about qigong and taoism, but then I realized that while it may seem to be a turn off to a lot of women, I would be selling myself short to not share such a significant part of my life with who ever I seek to have a close relationship with. I just wish the process was not quite so painful.

[Astral_Anima]

I have noticed as others were pointing out that the so called "dating rules" do seem to work, as I have used them before and they were effective, well effective if you wanted a girl to like you while you are totally not acting natural and yourself. So while I know this works at least on the surface level, I decided that I don't like playing these stupid immature and childish games. If someone is going to like me I want them to like me as I act completely myself, and not some facade I put on.

 

I read a book one time that said the heart chakra had two archetypes. The lover and the actor. It occured to me that while I was using these dating rules I was so much of an actor, and thus not getting in touch with my heart energy myself, and not letting anyone else really get in touch with my true heart also. So I'd rather have "less sucess" and find someone authentic, than meets lots of people in a superficial way.

 

As far as the other question, yes I do want to meet someone badly, but its because I want it so badly that this worries me. I have spent the last few days working exclusively on my heart, doing the heart inner smile and healing sound to get all those bad feelings in regards to a relationship out, and to increase positive loving heart energy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want someone, but I don't want to want someone too badly, if that makes sense.

 

I had contemplated that perhaps I should back off on sharing all the info about qigong and taoism, but then I realized that while it may seem to be a turn off to a lot of women, I would be selling myself short to not share such a significant part of my life with who ever I seek to have a close relationship with. I just wish the process was not quite so painful.

 

Well if it's of any use I picked up on something that seems to work for me in terms of communication and that simple trick is...shutting up, lol. Like idk about you but I don't really talk about much else than what i'm into and what i'm into is pandora's box and nobody would understand or believe anything I say anyway so like... conversation isn't exactly my "forte" in social situations. So usually I'll just ask questions to get her talking about herself and just sit and listen and try to formulate further questions based on what she's saying to get her to talk more. That way it feels like 'we' are having a conversation when in reality she's doing all the "work", lol. Like obviously I never expect anyone to follow what i do or even understand so I usuall try to find the common ground and work from there. And honestly I think you'll be surprised, women really seem to enjoy talking about themselves and their life and their problems, lol.

 

Plus when you're trying to relate to people there's one common-ground that goes beyond all interests and hobbies and that's FEELING. You wanna connect with someone, ask them how they feel about stuff. Girl tells you about some event that happened, ask her how she felt about it or how that makes her feel and see if you can relate to the feeling and maybe share a similar experience you had. Oh and NEVER give advice unless they directly ask for it, otherwise you sound like an imposing bigot, lol, i learned that one from having someone else do it to me and I was like "damn, it that how it comes off?" . Like if she telling you about a problem, just be like, "wow, that sucks" or "damn, that sounds terrible", never be like "oh well you should have done this" or whatever, like you're not trying to be intellectually superior or anything. And obviously re-enforcing positive affirmations, like if they're saying they feel "worthless" or anything negative, just telling them they're not and general positive re-enforcement. Usually all of this helps me to connect with people without necessarily having to have any common interests. But ultimately this puts YOU in the driver seat. You're friends with someone, now you're able to get to know them and decide whether you want to take it further or that she's just not what you're looking for. Either way you can get alot of info out of them by simply listening and you can feel connected to them by talking/relating about feelings and emotions (which we ALL experience so it's a great common-ground) then you're in prime position to choose where you want things to go. That's what I do anyway and it seems to work pretty well.

 

And yeah man, I hear ya about the childish games and such. Like I find "sass" and "pouting" and other childish things cute and fun to make fun of and joke about but when they start pulling the real psych-games it's just kinda boring and like.."really? you're seriously doing this?" hahaha.

And I also hear ya about the not wanting to seem to desperate. That too is a good idea. Personally I try to focus on dealing with my own problems and focus on "giving" without expecting in return. I don't know how that works for others but that's just what i do. Usually with the people that are the most fun to be with I get back 10fold what i give Never focus on what you're "getting" from a relationship, you don't want to be a "vamp" or a "leech" (like most guys seem to be and like most girls seem to fall for ). By friend's girlfriend just broke up with him because she was giving and giving and giving and he was just taking and taking and taking. Now I'm trying to talk her through it and help her vent and hopefully not become "cold"; she says she feels emotionally "dried up" . Usually women know how to give, so if both parties focus on giving then usually things go better.

 

Anyway I've already begun to rant so i'm out. Best of luck to ya

 

-Astral

[King Kabalabhati]

This probably depends on your culture and who you are, but I find it's good to give the woman the best of (your) both worlds.. Meaning that you should be equally comfortable with being nice and polite, speaking softly about things like love and spirituality, and on the other hand being a bit rude and even profane, saying what you think very straight forward and without fear of giving a bad impression. This can escalate things quickly towards a natural and relaxed intimacy since there's no awkward sense of "holding back" involved. This comment stems from a recent (very good) experience

[JohnC]

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

 

This is so much about how you are being, rather than what you are talking about. You can talk about squid bukkake, and have women(people) love it, or talk about how the weather is and have women(people) totally creeped out.

 

It's more about your relationship to yourself.

 

The thing that stuck out for me was that you thought you weren't doing anything stupid... as if there is a 'correct' way to do dating, and things to do.

But who defines what correct is? Like are all women the same, and agree on this correct stuff you should do? Who taught you what 'correct' is? How do they know? And is it really true?

 

The caveat there is that, the more you know women, the less you'll be able to know a woman. That your preconceived notions will get in the way with you relating to her, because you'll see your notions rather than find out about her.

 

The more important part being, do you feel connection between you and the girl? And you've talked about having sexual desire and the like thats really strong.. If you let that desire speak, you are not going to have women complaining. (As long as it's with respect)

 

You could also call them up and ASK!! rather than try and mind read, or have a bunch of random people on the internet give you answers (That may be completely crazy and terrible advice! )

 

 

I could tell you different ways to view the world ( how women are), or different tactics to do(how you should talk to women/people/whatever to get what you want...), or how to's but none of it matters.

 

The reason being is that you are you... and that is what the woman and people will like or not like.. because it's just you.

 

What I'd recommend looking at is are you trying to have women so that? Like, so you feel good/love/whatever for yourself?

 

Are you completely cool and happy being alone and doing your own thing? From there women(people) are bonus and can be enjoyed fully and without clinging/codependence/insecurity/etc.

 

All this stuff is instinctual. You just need to get out of your own way. Think less, and have more fun with her (like talking and being with her, among other things).

 

John

[三江源]

 

 

The caveat there is that, the more you know women, the less you'll be able to know a woman. That your preconceived notions will get in the way with you relating to her, because you'll see your notions rather than find out about her.

 

 

John

 

tb 'relationship' post of the decade, right there.

 

where's the 'applause' emoticon?

[j.fachao]

tb 'relationship' post of the decade, right there.

 

where's the 'applause' emoticon?

 

Hi cat,

 

Here it is:

 

 

Best,

Fachao

[三江源]

Spiffingness !

 

thankyou, j.fachao:)

[Otis]

Latest topic I've noticed is that I can meet a girl and things seem to be going really well at first, and then after about a week or so she seems to just suddenly loose intrest and disappear. I am not doing anything really obviously stupid as far as I can tell. About the only thing I have noticed that I might be able to call a pattern is that as we get to know eachother a little, I naturally start talking about Qigong and Taoism, and these are people I think would be receptive to it because they indicate an interest in spirituality, or yoga, or natural/chinese medicine or something along those lines. But then it seems like just about every time I see their eyes glaze over and they suddenly don't seem to have any more interest in talking to me. Now I wonder why? I mean since this stuff is a major part of what I do and who I am, I'm not going to pretend like I'm not into it just to charm a girl, so what gives? Anyone else run into this before?

Personally, I've found that years of practice makes me a little bit of an oddball. It actually draws women to me, at first, because they recognize something that they are not finding in most of the men they meet (I've been told I was "other-worldly"). But these same women are also used to the games, posturing and flattery that they receive from men who are used to using deception and illusion to get their ways. But I'm not doing that: little boasting or flattery, and I'm being honest about what's actually happening in my life. I think that's my best way of connecting to women, but I think sometimes it seems to them like I'm not interested, because I'm not falling over myself. I'm not giving them "the signs", because I just want to know them as a person, rather than try to create (or fulfill) a fantasy.

 

That doesn't (necessarily) mean my approach is wrong, but it just means I will only connect to women who are interested in going deeper and more honest, right from the start. Quality, rather than quantity. Maybe your conversation about Taoism helps weed out those who are afraid of depth.

[Otis]

I have noticed as others were pointing out that the so called "dating rules" do seem to work, as I have used them before and they were effective, well effective if you wanted a girl to like you while you are totally not acting natural and yourself. So while I know this works at least on the surface level, I decided that I don't like playing these stupid immature and childish games. If someone is going to like me I want them to like me as I act completely myself, and not some facade I put on.

 

I read a book one time that said the heart chakra had two archetypes. The lover and the actor. It occured to me that while I was using these dating rules I was so much of an actor, and thus not getting in touch with my heart energy myself, and not letting anyone else really get in touch with my true heart also. So I'd rather have "less sucess" and find someone authentic, than meets lots of people in a superficial way.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at, above.

[Maddie]

Well if it's of any use I picked up on something that seems to work for me in terms of communication and that simple trick is...shutting up, lol. Like idk about you but I don't really talk about much else than what i'm into and what i'm into is pandora's box and nobody would understand or believe anything I say anyway so like... conversation isn't exactly my "forte" in social situations. So usually I'll just ask questions to get her talking about herself and just sit and listen and try to formulate further questions based on what she's saying to get her to talk more. That way it feels like 'we' are having a conversation when in reality she's doing all the "work", lol. Like obviously I never expect anyone to follow what i do or even understand so I usuall try to find the common ground and work from there. And honestly I think you'll be surprised, women really seem to enjoy talking about themselves and their life and their problems, lol.

 

Plus when you're trying to relate to people there's one common-ground that goes beyond all interests and hobbies and that's FEELING. You wanna connect with someone, ask them how they feel about stuff. Girl tells you about some event that happened, ask her how she felt about it or how that makes her feel and see if you can relate to the feeling and maybe share a similar experience you had. Oh and NEVER give advice unless they directly ask for it, otherwise you sound like an imposing bigot, lol, i learned that one from having someone else do it to me and I was like "damn, it that how it comes off?" . Like if she telling you about a problem, just be like, "wow, that sucks" or "damn, that sounds terrible", never be like "oh well you should have done this" or whatever, like you're not trying to be intellectually superior or anything. And obviously re-enforcing positive affirmations, like if they're saying they feel "worthless" or anything negative, just telling them they're not and general positive re-enforcement. Usually all of this helps me to connect with people without necessarily having to have any common interests. But ultimately this puts YOU in the driver seat. You're friends with someone, now you're able to get to know them and decide whether you want to take it further or that she's just not what you're looking for. Either way you can get alot of info out of them by simply listening and you can feel connected to them by talking/relating about feelings and emotions (which we ALL experience so it's a great common-ground) then you're in prime position to choose where you want things to go. That's what I do anyway and it seems to work pretty well.

 

And yeah man, I hear ya about the childish games and such. Like I find "sass" and "pouting" and other childish things cute and fun to make fun of and joke about but when they start pulling the real psych-games it's just kinda boring and like.."really? you're seriously doing this?" hahaha.

And I also hear ya about the not wanting to seem to desperate. That too is a good idea. Personally I try to focus on dealing with my own problems and focus on "giving" without expecting in return. I don't know how that works for others but that's just what i do. Usually with the people that are the most fun to be with I get back 10fold what i give Never focus on what you're "getting" from a relationship, you don't want to be a "vamp" or a "leech" (like most guys seem to be and like most girls seem to fall for ). By friend's girlfriend just broke up with him because she was giving and giving and giving and he was just taking and taking and taking. Now I'm trying to talk her through it and help her vent and hopefully not become "cold"; she says she feels emotionally "dried up" . Usually women know how to give, so if both parties focus on giving then usually things go better.

 

Anyway I've already begun to rant so i'm out. Best of luck to ya

 

-Astral

 

Hey Astral

I think your advice was excellent and very insightful. You seemed to point out to me several things that I do, that now that you mentioned them I realize I do, but didn't previously. I think I need to shut up more too lol, as it seems that most people in general (women included) just are simply not intersted in qigong/taoism. Other than this forum, it seems that when I bring up this topic, just about no one is interested. I guess this also goes with what you said about giving advice. I tend to do that ALOT!! Now that I think about it, I sense their feelings change rapidly when the advice starts coming out. I mean well, and want to help, and thing qigong is the most awesome thing there is and one of the best ways to deal with problems, but now that you mention it, I guess I might come off as sounding like a nosey, pompous, know it all lol. I really want to help, but I guess it does not come off that way. I also notice that a lot of people that complain about personal issues don't really want to deal with them, but rather just like the sympathy that comes from stating their issues, or the excuse they think it gives them to be the way they are. But I like your ranting and raving, its has been very insightful lol.

 

Personally, I've found that years of practice makes me a little bit of an oddball. It actually draws women to me, at first, because they recognize something that they are not finding in most of the men they meet (I've been told I was "other-worldly"). But these same women are also used to the games, posturing and flattery that they receive from men who are used to using deception and illusion to get their ways. But I'm not doing that: little boasting or flattery, and I'm being honest about what's actually happening in my life. I think that's my best way of connecting to women, but I think sometimes it seems to them like I'm not interested, because I'm not falling over myself. I'm not giving them "the signs", because I just want to know them as a person, rather than try to create (or fulfill) a fantasy.

 

That doesn't (necessarily) mean my approach is wrong, but it just means I will only connect to women who are interested in going deeper and more honest, right from the start. Quality, rather than quantity. Maybe your conversation about Taoism helps weed out those who are afraid of depth.

 

Hey Otis , yes I have that exact same feeling a lot, that women see me as an odd ball, and they don't really know how to look at me. I've had several women tell me that they thought I was weird for not being interested in porn lol. What I think of as being well adjusted, they look at as being odd, go figure lol. And I actually had a girl last week tell me that I was the most bizzare guy she had ever met simply because I was not desperately trying to get into her pants, even though I had just met her. Again what I thought of as a virtue she looked at as being weird. I think you are correct that taoism helps to weed out people who I would not really find interesting in the long run anyways.

 

Oh one more thing that I realized that I should probablly really stop doing. I've noticed that the longer I do qigong, and the more clear I get my channels, the easier it is for me to read the energy of other people, especially emotional energy. This has happened to me many many times... I meet a girl, we start talking, and as we talk I begin to tell her all this stuff about her. She looks really suprised and freaked out and asks me how I know all this stuff. I tell her that I guess a side effect of doing qigong is that I just tend to know what people near me are feeling emotionally. Then they begin to feel very uncomfortable, and thats often the last I see of them. I suppose they either feel this is a violation of their privacy, or that most people enjoy being able to put up their mask in public, and don't really like someone to know who they really are. Nevertheless I guess I should stop letting girls know that I pretty much already know what they are really feeling, as that seems to be pretty effective in chasing them off, even if things had been going well up to that point.

 

I do wonder though why it is that most people do not seem to have much interest in qigong, as I find it facinating?

[King Kabalabhati]

 

I do wonder though why it is that most people do not seem to have much interest in qigong, as I find it facinating?

 

My experience nowadays is that many women that notice I have "special power", (no matter if it's not quite level 72), get reeeeally interested and want to find out more

[Otis]

Oh one more thing that I realized that I should probablly really stop doing. I've noticed that the longer I do qigong, and the more clear I get my channels, the easier it is for me to read the energy of other people, especially emotional energy. This has happened to me many many times... I meet a girl, we start talking, and as we talk I begin to tell her all this stuff about her. She looks really suprised and freaked out and asks me how I know all this stuff. I tell her that I guess a side effect of doing qigong is that I just tend to know what people near me are feeling emotionally. Then they begin to feel very uncomfortable, and thats often the last I see of them. I suppose they either feel this is a violation of their privacy, or that most people enjoy being able to put up their mask in public, and don't really like someone to know who they really are. Nevertheless I guess I should stop letting girls know that I pretty much already know what they are really feeling, as that seems to be pretty effective in chasing them off, even if things had been going well up to that point.

Yeah, I agree it's probably a good idea to ease that in over time. No one wants to feel utterly exposed (before they're ready).

[Astral_Anima]

Hey Astral

I think your advice was excellent and very insightful. You seemed to point out to me several things that I do, that now that you mentioned them I realize I do, but didn't previously. I think I need to shut up more too lol, as it seems that most people in general (women included) just are simply not intersted in qigong/taoism. Other than this forum, it seems that when I bring up this topic, just about no one is interested. I guess this also goes with what you said about giving advice. I tend to do that ALOT!! Now that I think about it, I sense their feelings change rapidly when the advice starts coming out. I mean well, and want to help, and thing qigong is the most awesome thing there is and one of the best ways to deal with problems, but now that you mention it, I guess I might come off as sounding like a nosey, pompous, know it all lol. I really want to help, but I guess it does not come off that way. I also notice that a lot of people that complain about personal issues don't really want to deal with them, but rather just like the sympathy that comes from stating their issues, or the excuse they think it gives them to be the way they are. But I like your ranting and raving, its has been very insightful lol.

 

Yeah, it's tough when you genuinely care about someone and want to help but often end up pushing people away. I've noticed that people (women especially) simply don't want advice, they just want to "vent" they just want someone to "talk it out" with and not feel judged or pushed in a certain direction. The whole reason I do what I do is because I noticed if I try to give advice they just run away, but if i just listen and let them release some of their built up feelings it creates an emotional connect, it establishes trust and comfort. Once that's been established usually they'll actually begin to ask for advice, if not then at least be more receptive when you sneak a suggestion or tell a story of how you or someone you know/heard of overcame a similar issue.

But of course there can be times where they'll just not be ready to change and personally I can understand that because although change is my essence and I thrive on it, it also understand the physical/mental/emotion stress caused by it and if they're living a "typical" life then they have enough already. In such a case I'm usually just there as an "emotional pillow", just to ease the burden. Of course I have my limits but I do feel bad for people in today's world.

 

I do wonder though why it is that most people do not seem to have much interest in qigong, as I find it facinating?

 

I think alot of people view it kinda like "tarrot cards" when you get into the mystical aspect of it. Like if you just did it and said it was just a kind of exercise to stay healthy (like yoga) then it'd be no big deal. When you start saying you can read their emotiona they may get alittle freaked out . Remember man's biggest fear is the unknown. Imagine what runs through their head. They prolly think something like "jeez if he can do that then what else can he do?" and may get scared. On the other hand If you do it "playfully" it can be great fun XD. If you present it kinda like a magic trick, be like "hey look i wanna try something", or "hey you wanna play a game" and then tell them you want to guess what kind of emotional state their in or whatever you're going to do, then put on a bit if a show, put you hand out and pretend to feel her aura, go "AUM" or u know, do some showmanship so it fits better with her preconceived idea of "mystical". Plus you could always get one wrong on purpose But I think if you present it playfully and kinda joke about it it may come across more "comfortable" in her mind. maybe pick up some cards trick and a top hat lololol

 

-Astral

[Maddie]

Ok yesterday I had the most unusual/sureal experience ever (at least in the dating/relationship realm). It started off with me sending a lot of chi in my MCO to my crown chakra to help me "transmit" a request to the Universe (some might call it prayer, but due to bad church experiences I don't refer to it as this). I sent the message that I wanted this particular girl who had kind of dissed me to be interested again. Then I got this distinct impression from the Universe that if I set my intention this way for this that it most certainly would work, BUT (there is always a but) it would alter my life path and that I would not acheive the highest spiritual potential that I would otherwise in this life.

Naturally at first I would have none of this, cause I like this girl and was going through all this trouble because I wanted her. Then a funny thing happened, she emailed me that I should call her and poked me on facebook, though she had ignored me for several days. Then I had this sort of mental vision of two line graphs in my mind. The first line graph showed my spiritual progress with this girl, and it went down rapidly, the second showed my spiritual progress with out her, and it soared. So after telling myself I was an idoit I told the Universe to "call it off" that I would not seek to have this girl in my path. After that I replyed to the email that she suddenly sent me, and guess what... so far have not gotten any response. It would seem that as soon as I told the Universe to call it off, she got really cold again.

This naturally caused me to think more about this topic, and about all the other girls that it didn't seem to work out with, and suddenly I saw it on a different plane than I had before. What if it didn't work out with those girls for the same reason that I have begun to look at totally hot babes and just not "feel it", perhaps its because they are simply not on my path, they are not part of my Tao??

[JohnC]

What if it didn't work out with those girls for the same reason that I have begun to look at totally hot babes and just not "feel it", perhaps its because they are simply not on my path, they are not part of my Tao??

 

This.

 

Basically, be who you are because when they fall in love with YOU, ... its you. But if you fake, create rules, etc etc they are falling in love with a mask of yours.

 

And the person you meet will be the perfect one for you.

 

My girl I met, and she loves that I'm on the path, loves that I meditate, and is willing to explore tantra, sexuality, yoga, etc with me.

 

..I forget how awesome she is sometimes.

 

John

[Maddie]

This.

 

Basically, be who you are because when they fall in love with YOU, ... its you. But if you fake, create rules, etc etc they are falling in love with a mask of yours.

 

And the person you meet will be the perfect one for you.

 

My girl I met, and she loves that I'm on the path, loves that I meditate, and is willing to explore tantra, sexuality, yoga, etc with me.

 

..I forget how awesome she is sometimes.

 

John

 

I agree with being your real self, but what I experienced yesterday went beyond that, it was a totally different experience. It was as though I came in contact with the Universe, the fabric of existence itself, and it showed me what a farce our so called free will is lol.

Edited February 9, 2011 by dmattwads

[joeblast]

free will doesnt mean free of karmic connections, though

 

interesting experience - they probably wont happen too often, and me personally I wouldnt ask for such things often either. but it does look like it gave you a good little shard of insight!

 

it kinda made me think of that "my students always get divorced" yt vid...its a bit pedantic and repetitive, though.

Edited February 9, 2011 by joeblast

[Maddie]

free will doesnt mean free of karmic connections, though

 

interesting experience - they probably wont happen too often, and me personally I wouldnt ask for such things often either. but it does look like it gave you a good little shard of insight!

 

it kinda made me think of that "my students always get divorced" yt vid...its a bit pedantic and repetitive, though.

 

I hope it does not happen too often lol, I wanted the girl, not this haha. I've heard the "my students always get divorced" somewhere, but where is that from?