sexlessness in Japan / in marriage

[Herodes]

http://www.japantoday.com/category/kuchikomi/view/sexless-in-japan

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/1490408/Japans-sexless-marriages-are-turning-it-into-the-land-of-rising-celibacy.html

http://www.stippy.com/japan-culture/is-japan-really-sexless/

 

Prevalence of the issue

According to the most recent survey of 41 nations last October, the average Japanese has intercourse 45 (and according to Bayer Pharmaceuticals as low as 17) times a year, compared with the global average of 103. Japan is repeatedly at the bottom of the list

one third of marriages in Japan are sexless

one-third of Spa!’s unmarried respondents (32.7%, to be precise) reported having no sex at all in 2009; (2) one-quarter of the single respondents (24.3%) have never in their lives had a sexual experience. ... only 16.7% of married thirty-something couples, and 11.3% of singles, enjoy sexual relations once a week. For two to three times a month the figures are 28.7% and 18.7%, respectively; for two to three times a week, 8% and 7.3%; for once every six months, 10% and 7.3%.

 

Reasons

The reason most commonly cited for lack of sex is tiredness from work

They have pornography and the sex industry (soap lands, cabaret bars, and dial-a-girl services, and trips to Taiwan) to take care of their needs

What is a healthy sex rate?

What are the reasons for the low sex rate in japan?

 

P.S.: Al Bundy on the topic:

 

BUD: "I am totally done with women."

AL: "[with fear] What? What, did you get married!?"

BUD: "No, Dad."

AL: "Well, don't worry, Son. Remember, it gets better each time, as long as it's never with the same woman."

Edited January 14, 2011 by Herodes

[Maddie]

What is a healthy sex rate?

What are the reasons for the low sex rate in japan?

 

P.S.: Al Bundy on the topic:

 

I have a Japanese friend who told me the same thing about life in Japan.

[TaoBee]

I have a Japanese friend who told me the same thing about life in Japan.

 

 

Konichiwa!

 

I am half-Japanese..with that said, obviously I have a Japanese family!

My mother has flat out told me for easily two decades that sex is of no interest to her...she is busy and tired. She works excessively long traditional Japanese hours. My step-father, to whom she has been married to for 16 years is the same. Too tired, too busy. Its that way for a lot of my family, younger generation included.

 

Of course I have retorted that if its just not that important, too much trouble etc, someone isn't doing it right

 

Heehee!

 

Peace and Love <3

[ben]

I'm wondering what the hypersexualization of school girls in Magna comics say's about marriage in Japan?

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

What is a healthy sex rate?

What are the reasons for the low sex rate in japan?

 

P.S.: Al Bundy on the topic:

 

In general it's more an Asian thing, although work does have something to do with it. As far as I can make out it's part genetic, with many Asians not being as highly sexed as the other races. This is their view too usually.

 

There is a rather nice side-effect to it though. Many Asian males and females can have real true friendship with each other even at a young age without any sexual pretext at all (remember the 'When Harry Met Sally' dialogue as to why men and women can never just be friends).

 

Konichiwa!

 

I am half-Japanese..

 

I think I'm in love.....

 

 

Of course I have retorted that if its just not that important, too much trouble etc, someone isn't doing it right

 

 

I think this is also part of the problem, a very big part. Many of the men seem to have little or no idea of what they are supposed to be doing...not to be rude...but really they don't. Japanese porn is bizarre at the best of times (so I've heard...I wouldn't really know )... I'm not sure technological gadgets really get a female going!

 

My favorite all time line I've heard in China when the guys want to get intimate with a female is : "you should have sex with me, it's good for your health!"

 

The really strange thing is it works for them!!!

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

I'm wondering what the hypersexualization of school girls in Magna comics say's about marriage in Japan?

 

It says that uniforms are a fantastic addition to anyones sex life!

 

I think cos-play is a fantastic invention. Chun li from street fighter....oooohhhhhh

 

This girl practices Daoism on an almost daily basis!!!

 

 

 

When cosplay goes bad

 

Edited January 15, 2011 by Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that

[TaoBee]

In general it's more an Asian thing, although work does have something to do with it. As far as I can make out it's part genetic, with many Asians not being as highly sexed as the other races. This is their view too usually.

 

There is a rather nice side-effect to it though. Many Asian males and females can have real true friendship with each other even at a young age without any sexual pretext at all (remember the 'When Harry Met Sally' dialogue as to why men and women can never just be friends).

 

 

 

I think I'm in love.....

 

 

 

I think this is also part of the problem, a very big part. Many of the men seem to have little or no idea of what they are supposed to be doing...not to be rude...but really they don't. Japanese porn is bizarre at the best of times (so I've heard...I wouldn't really know )... I'm not sure technological gadgets really get a female going!

 

My favorite all time line I've heard in China when the guys want to get intimate with a female is : "you should have sex with me, it's good for your health!"

 

The really strange thing is it works for them!!!

 

 

Having grown up in Japan...I've seen the men sit on the trains reading their manga comics and other magazines. They also have this tendency to grope women while were all jammed on the train.

 

So IMO I think between the crazy porn and the sly groping they are repressed sexually. Well then again, I think they are repressed in a lot of ways.

 

I am not surprised to hear a line like that..given some lines that I am sure many women have heard in our lives!!!

 

Peace and Love! <3

Edited January 15, 2011 by TaoBee

[Enishi]

It wasn't just the men.

 

36% of the men and 59% of the women in that study reportedly lacked interest in sex.

Edited January 15, 2011 by Enishi

[suninmyeyes]

Having grown up in Japan...I've seen the men sit on the trains reading their manga comics and other magazines. They also have this tendency to grope women while were all jammed on the train.

 

So IMO I think between the crazy porn and the sly groping they are repressed sexually. Well then again, I think they are repressed in a lot of ways.

 

I am not surprised to hear a line like that..given some lines that I am sure many women have heard in our lives!!!

 

Peace and Love! <3

Where I am from guys also grope women in crowded places too,ok they are into lots of mainstream porn.And culture is very sexual and not repressed.

(p.s Tao Bee cool to see that you make/create things and sew-me too ).

 

But anyway I just had a thought after reading this thread,that maybe I was Japonese in my past lifeas my interest in sex was always quite low or virtually non existant unless I am really in love.It could be repression in general or it could be that some people are just like that-mind working differently.

Edited January 15, 2011 by suninmyeyes

[henro]

It wasn't just the men.

 

36% of the men and 59% of the women in that study reportedly lacked interest in sex.

 

 

If you were in a country where most of your potential partners would rather go to a maid cafe, stay out all night with their friends smoking and drinking at a hostess bar, or read manga would you be into sex ?

Edited January 15, 2011 by robmix

[Taomeow]

Where I am from guys also grope women in crowded places too,ok they are into lots of mainstream porn.And culture is very sexual and not repressed.

(p.s Tao Bee cool to see that you make/create things and sew-me too ).

 

But anyway I just had a thought after reading this thread,that maybe I was Japonese in my past lifeas my interest in sex was always quite low or virtually non existant unless I am really in love.It could be repression in general or it could be that some people are just like that-mind working differently.

 

It's absolutely normal (nevermind rare these days) to only be interested in sex+love, I've always been like that (with a few exceptions I regret. Love without sex is a teenage thing called "a crush" and sex without love is a pain-processing thing called "traumatic developmental history").

 

Where I come from men groped you too, often in the middle of the street and always on a packed bus while looking elsewhere with a deadpan expression -- like in that John Lennon song which is my absolute all-time favorite, Happiness Is A Warm Gun --

well, they did this to me since I was, like, thirteen and projected nothing but "I'm absolutely not ready for this, unavailable, too young, too normal, please give me some human boundaries" which of course didn't work -- but by the time I was, like, fifteen, I had a counter maneuver mastered to perfection -- a discreet knee-to-the-crotch kick, while looking elsewhere with a deadpan expression. Highly recommended if you don't have a gun.

 

[suninmyeyes]

It's absolutely normal (nevermind rare these days) to only be interested in sex+love, I've always been like that (with a few exceptions I regret. Love without sex is a teenage thing called "a crush" and sex without love is a pain-processing thing called "traumatic developmental history").

 

Where I come from men groped you too, often in the middle of the street and always on a packed bus while looking elsewhere with a deadpan expression -- like in that John Lennon song which is my absolute all-time favorite, Happiness Is A Warm Gun --

well, they did this to me since I was, like, thirteen and projected nothing but "I'm absolutely not ready for this, unavailable, too young, too normal, please give me some human boundaries" which of course didn't work -- but by the time I was, like, fifteen, I had a counter maneuver mastered to perfection -- a discreet knee-to-the-crotch kick, while looking elsewhere with a deadpan expression. Highly recommended if you don't have a gun.

Oh good to read about sex+love expirience TaoMeow ,it is quite rare.Sometimes when younger I felt a bit freaked out by this,as everyone around me was so sexed up all the time.

Yeah I can imagine guys where you grew up also just helping themselves to female buttocks and other parts of body if they feel like it.Last time when I was "home"(about 15 years ago) I got grabbed whilst buying breakfast at the market.I immediatley turn back to find the guy already run away 3 meters and is laughing at me.I grabbed the water and threw at him whilst shouting and screaming to everyone to catch the groper.None reacted and the women across me told me that she has just been to a hairdresser and payed equivalent to a 100 DM(a lot of money than,everything was in foreign currency in those times too coz of inflation)and what am I doing spoiling her hair by throwing water just like that.Eh. Her hair wasnt even wet to be honest.Maybe only on the side ever so slightly.

Edited January 15, 2011 by suninmyeyes

[Taomeow]

Oh good to read about sex+love expirience TaoMeow ,it is quite rare.Sometimes when younger I felt a bit freaked out by this,as everyone around me was so sexed up all the time.

Yeah I can imagine guys where you grew up also just helping themselves to female buttocks and other parts of body if they feel like it.Last time when I was "home"(about 15 years ago) I got grabbed whilst buying breakfast at the market.I immediatley turn back to find the guy already run away 3 meters and is laughing at me.I grabbed the water and threw at him whilst shouting and screaming to everyone to catch the groper.None reacted and the women across me told me that she has just been to a hairdresser and payed equivalent to a 100 DM"(a lot of money than)and what am I doing spoiling her hair by throwing water just like that.Eh. Her hair wasnt even wet to be honest.Maybe only on the side ever so slightly.

 

Eh, an enabler! Women who have been convinced that there's nothing they "can" do about it, and then nothing they "should" do about it, and then "it's normal and OK to be treated like that" and then "it's cool to be treated like that, it means my hair is pretty and I'm sexy and they want me" --

 

deserve to be born as something disposable (a box of Kleenex? a box of condoms?) in their next incarnation. They are working on it...

[RiverSnake]

Its said that all difficulties stem from an imbalance between yin and yang: women and man.

 

-I can only imagine how many unhappy and disconnected people live in Japan.

[Enishi]

If you were in a country where most of your potential partners would rather go to a maid cafe, stay out all night with their friends smoking and drinking at a hostess bar, or read manga would you be into sex ?

 

That's probably part of it, although I am also wondering if, besides tiredness from work, there's also something in their water which is affecting this. Not being interested in the people around you is one thing, a lack of interest in general is another.

Edited January 15, 2011 by Enishi

[Enishi]

These charts are interesting as well:

 

Satisfaction in Having Sex by Country

 

Percentage of People Having Sex Weekly by Country

 

Not only does Japan have the lowest rate of sex by week, but also one of the lowest satisfaction rates.

 

I was surprised at the rates for China, given the imbalance in the gender ratio. A lot of that might be due to prostitution though I suppose.

[Herodes]

[TaoBee]

Where I am from guys also grope women in crowded places too,ok they are into lots of mainstream porn.And culture is very sexual and not repressed.

(p.s Tao Bee cool to see that you make/create things and sew-me too ).

 

But anyway I just had a thought after reading this thread,that maybe I was Japonese in my past lifeas my interest in sex was always quite low or virtually non existant unless I am really in love.It could be repression in general or it could be that some people are just like that-mind working differently.

 

I love making/creating...via art and sewing!! Its so freeing for me.

 

For me the sex+love connection is very important.

 

And what it is it with guys in any culture that think its okay to behave that way? When I first came to the States, and went to San Francisco to Chinese New Years parade...I think my poor bum was bruised by the end of the night!!!

 

Sheesh!

[TaoBee]

If you were in a country where most of your potential partners would rather go to a maid cafe, stay out all night with their friends smoking and drinking at a hostess bar, or read manga would you be into sex ?

 

Exactly!!

[Mal]

I had one of the most enjoyable days with my partner recently. We cooked scones, watched a super movie called Next and then had a blast discussing it. Such a great day.

 

But I didn't, what was the expression used recently.... that's right I didn't stick it in her.

 

So no Sex = FAIL guess that's why Australia is batting 60% @ Percentage of People Having Sex Weekly by Country

[Birch]

Oh good to read about sex+love expirience TaoMeow ,it is quite rare.Sometimes when younger I felt a bit freaked out by this,as everyone around me was so sexed up all the time.

Yeah I can imagine guys where you grew up also just helping themselves to female buttocks and other parts of body if they feel like it.Last time when I was "home"(about 15 years ago) I got grabbed whilst buying breakfast at the market.I immediatley turn back to find the guy already run away 3 meters and is laughing at me.I grabbed the water and threw at him whilst shouting and screaming to everyone to catch the groper.None reacted and the women across me told me that she has just been to a hairdresser and payed equivalent to a 100 DM(a lot of money than,everything was in foreign currency in those times too coz of inflation)and what am I doing spoiling her hair by throwing water just like that.Eh. Her hair wasnt even wet to be honest.Maybe only on the side ever so slightly.

 

Ah yes, I had the very same experiences "somewhere in Europe" too! I also reacted very strongly and got the same "bystander" effect. It happened to all of my friends too. As a result, I cut off my hair and stopped wearing nice clothes. It got so bad it was one of the things that made me move.

 

Since then, thankfully, my hair has grown back and I can wear what I want without getting any grief. I'm also significantly older, so maybe that "helps" too. But it left its mark and if I could go back and do it again, I'd add TaoMeow's knee technique.

[NeiChuan]

Taobee is probably right.

 

They aren't doing it right

 

Also when in kosovo it's pretty much the same. Not the marriage problems, but the guys over zealous, especially for the chicks they "cant" get.

 

Makes them feel more like a man or something. They get really mad when an American calls them dumb too, another quality I don't like

 

So japan may have marriage problems, but alot of the world has social and emotional problems to deal with. Marriage problems would tie in with emotional problems too ofcourse.

[suninmyeyes]

Ah yes, I had the very same experiences "somewhere in Europe" too! I also reacted very strongly and got the same "bystander" effect. It happened to all of my friends too. As a result, I cut off my hair and stopped wearing nice clothes. It got so bad it was one of the things that made me move.

 

Since then, thankfully, my hair has grown back and I can wear what I want without getting any grief. I'm also significantly older, so maybe that "helps" too. But it left its mark and if I could go back and do it again, I'd add TaoMeow's knee technique.

I had cut off(shaved off)my hair too when I lived in SE Asia in my late twenties as I was getting all this 18,19 years old pestering me constantly on the street thinking I am their age.And it worked miracle as a woman with shaved hair ment to them(I was told)that her husband died or is a nun or a wierdo(thats what they conidered me to me I think).

But reading this and what women have to still go through makes me .And than you get these guys putting down feminisam saying that there is equality etc.Anyway its good to raise awarness on issues .

NeiChuanWhat were you doing in Kosovo?Hardly anyone goes there for holidays.Army?Just courious..

Edited January 16, 2011 by suninmyeyes

[NeiChuan]

I had cut off(shaved off)my hair too when I lived in SE Asia in my late twenties as I was getting all this 18,19 years old pestering me constantly on the street thinking I am their age.And it worked miracle as a woman with shaved hair ment to them(I was told)that her husband died or is a nun or a wierdo(thats what they conidered me to me I think).

But reading this and what women have to still go through makes me .And than you get these guys putting down feminisam saying that there is equality etc..I traveled around the world and can say few stories,anyway its good to raise awarness on issues .

NeiChuanWhat were you doing in Kosovo?Hardly anyone goes there for holidays.Army?Just courious..

 

Parents thought it was a good idea to go over there to see how the culture was like.

 

coincidentally I don't love 80's music being blasted as much as they'd thought

 

Beautiful mountains though

[suninmyeyes]

Funky parents,Nei Chuan! Yeh I think 80s music will be popular in those regions even in next century.