Attraction

[island]

"By cultiavting properly you can build up a confidence and a radiance women will find highly attractive. THey will also sense your energy on an energetic non physical level and be attracted to it."

 

I agree with you, however i would also like to add, that I believe this does not only apply to women, but that it applies to all living beings.

[三江源]

I think the spleen, bacause it is of the earth element, and the root chakra are key in attraction. Ifound this on another site: the Root Chakra governs issues around physical self-preservation. These issues include survival, security and safety, as well as primal erotic and procreational urges.

 

This chakra is the grounding force that allows us to connect to the earth energies and empower our being.

 

Every other chakra is downstream of it and only receives the energy that the root chakra can pass through to it. The path to health and mystical power goes right through the gender organs.To understand your root chakra, you must come to a place of peace with your sexual energy.

 

Survival, security, safety, sexualiy, a sense of power, material stuff - money. All of these are key things women seek in a man. Also I have read people mention that when their root chakra really opened up women started becoming much more interested.

 

markern, I was going to mention the spleen but didnt want to be too daunting.. working on the spleen is essential and not a job one is about to 'finish' anytime soon. Initial results can be very helpful with the secret smile and healing sounds. On a deeper level, going into the spleen is to make contact with the infinite inside oneself in an even more contactful way than any other organ.. more hidden than any other organ.Like going into mother earth.It is the home of the Yi, being the earth aspect.. it is about being able to take in, to digest, to process, to think and feel coherently.. helping the spleen is vital to being able to feel. A weak spleen will lead to worry and over thinking.. tonifying the spleen would be an ideal task for all the people who think about relationships all the time but dont actually have one.. in our culture it is easy to feel undernourished, and therefore underconfident and lacking in trust. Strengthening the spleen will help counteract this mind set.

[Maddie]

I think the spleen, bacause it is of the earth element, and the root chakra are key in attraction. Ifound this on another site: the Root Chakra governs issues around physical self-preservation. These issues include survival, security and safety, as well as primal erotic and procreational urges.

 

This chakra is the grounding force that allows us to connect to the earth energies and empower our being.

 

Every other chakra is downstream of it and only receives the energy that the root chakra can pass through to it. The path to health and mystical power goes right through the gender organs.To understand your root chakra, you must come to a place of peace with your sexual energy.

 

Survival, security, safety, sexualiy, a sense of power, material stuff - money. All of these are key things women seek in a man. Also I have read people mention that when their root chakra really opened up women started becoming much more interested.

 

I'm going to agree with you about the spleen, and go further still. As I have been working on this topic I have come to see as was mentioned earlier in this thread that it would seem that since sexuality is a multi-dimensonal thing, so are its energetic manefestations. I was in fact working on my spleen meridian/earth element yesterday for some of the very reasons you mentioned above. Two days ago I was working on my kidney merdian/water element for the same goal, just different aspect. The day before that it was the heart, before that the lungs, last night the liver. The point being that sex has many aspects, and there for you can find an aspect of it in just about every part of yourself.

These have been my findings so far....

 

The heart tends to relate to the emotional bonding aspect of sexuality, such things as love, like, affection, passion, excitment. I've also noticed that when my heart gets out of balance that I tend to feel like an over excited lap dog (the kind that like to dry hump every leg they see) which is actually a very uncomfortable feeling because it feels like someone just injected you with crack lol.

 

The kidneys tend to be all about raw sexaul energy. They generate and store jing, the testicles are called the external kidneys which procude testosterone which affects libido. The adrenals are also considered part of the kidney's domain, and have a regulatory effect on libdo too. On the negative side since the kidneys govern fear/stress/nervousness, I've noticed that when my kidneys are out of balance then I find it more difficult to approach women cause for one I'm more nervous, and two they pick up on this nervousness and its a turn off.

 

The lungs rule that part of us that wants to intrinsicly feel good about ourselves, and plus as the lungs govern the skin, they enjoy tactile sensation. I've noticed that often if I want a woman because I'm feeling lonely or am not feeling good about myself (which are horrible reasons to seek a woman) then my lungs are not in balance, as they have a lot to do with self esteem.

 

The spleen as mentioned above contains the earth element, so naturally women like men who come off as "grounded". Also the spleen rules clear thinking, and of course when meeting and talking to women its good to keep your head on your shoulders and not become a babbeling idiot lol. A well balanced spleen causes one to feel very comfortable with themselves, and how can you expect others to feel comfortable with you if you are not even comfortable with yourself? An out of balance spleen will make you feel worried and pensive, so insteado of just going up to the lady and saying hi, you fret from across the room "should I? no I can't, but maybe I should? what should I say? I hope she does not reject me? .... blah blah blah" A balanced spleen will "just do it" kind of like nike.

 

The liver in its balanced and proper state rules assertiveness and male arousal. Basically if you want get the girl you gota be assertive. The unbalanced liver can go a couple directions. It can either lack assertiveness, or it can go from assertive to aggressive, and now you are just coming off creepy, or just trying to pick up the girl to prove to your ego that you can.

 

As to charaks, same thing goes as sexuality again has many levels. I've found this about chakras in my experience...

 

The root is about raw physical attraction, as in you simply want to get laid / feel good.

The sacral is still all about attraction but more emotional, kind of like how women approach things more.

The solar plexus is about ego, so if that is well balanced it will make your life with women much better.

The heart chakra is about love, which is vital to have when you make "love" to someone. If we do too much of the casual sex, pick up thing, our heart chakra suffers.

The throat chakra is naturally about communication. Try picking up women if you can't communicate well with them.

The brow chakra/third eye helps you to see who this woman is beyond her skin. I think this is what was happening to me lately as I find myself just knowning that certain pretty girls are just not for me.

The crown chakra is about spirituality, and its just as important to be spiritually compatible with a lass as it is physically, emitionally, and mentally.

[Maddie]

[gendao]

I think the spleen, bacause it is of the earth element, and the root chakra are key in attraction. Ifound this on another site: the Root Chakra governs issues around physical self-preservation. These issues include survival, security and safety, as well as primal erotic and procreational urges.

 

This chakra is the grounding force that allows us to connect to the earth energies and empower our being.

 

Every other chakra is downstream of it and only receives the energy that the root chakra can pass through to it. The path to health and mystical power goes right through the gender organs.To understand your root chakra, you must come to a place of peace with your sexual energy.

 

Survival, security, safety, sexualiy, a sense of power, material stuff - money. All of these are key things women seek in a man. Also I have read people mention that when their root chakra really opened up women started becoming much more interested.

Interesting, I was just going to ask what exactly makes men attractive...and then I read this. Hmmm...

 

So, perhaps the root chakra generates raw animal attractiveness...and the 2nd chakra refines it more directly into passionate, sexual energy?

 

But the point being that it is the LOWER chakras that build sex appeal...not the HIGHER ones. So, you must start from the ground up.

 

So, what's the best way to open and clear chakras?

[Maddie]

 

So, what's the best way to open and clear chakras?

 

Several ways.... MCO is a great way. Meditating upon a specific chakra and breathing into it, and visuallizing it is also good. Another technique is to take one hand and rotate it counter clockwise over a chakra, and then take the other hand and rotate it clockwise, this has the effect of first pulling out bad energy, and then putting in good energy. Some other methods I use are various gemstones that resonate with a particular chakra, as well as essential oils. Also flower essences and homeopathy can be helpfull here too, as they act upon your energy. There are also certain yoga asanas that are suppose to incluence various chakras.

 

But probably my favored way to influence chakras is to do it indirectly via the organs they are connected with, as this just seems to come most naturally to me. For example lets say I wanted to work on my sacral chakra. Chakras a very subtle part of our energy body, to me more hard to access. Our organs are more gross and I believe easier to work with. The sacral chakra connects with the kidneys (both of them are related to the water element) and are at about the same level in the body. So I might do the kidney healing sound, and inner smile, and as the kidney is connected to the sacral chakra, bladder, genetials, and bones, it has a beneficial effect on all of them. At least this is how I best get results.

[markern]

Interesting, I was just going to ask what exactly makes men attractive...and then I read this. Hmmm...

 

So, perhaps the root chakra generates raw animal attractiveness...and the 2nd chakra refines it more directly into passionate, sexual energy?

 

But the point being that it is the LOWER chakras that build sex appeal...not the HIGHER ones. So, you must start from the ground up.

 

So, what's the best way to open and clear chakras?

 

I think if you do standing meditation the root chakra issue should be dealt with fine. The earth energy power I felt from doing only a little of it was huge and I can definitively see it as making me more attactive. It also suorts the lung energy in teh five element cycle and whenever I feel lots of energy from spleen or root work I feel it go to my lungs and make them strong. The confidence and self assertiveness in the lungs would be an important part of a mans atractiveness.

 

I think the wuji posture would be particulary good as it works particualry well on the kidneys and spleen. If you combine standing meditation with teh secret smile you should get a lot more attractive. Secret smile makes you relaxed, confident, happy/joyfull, loving and sexualy blissfull. Being relaxe is one of the most alpha traits and I have heard women say many times that men who are more relaxed than is normal for most people in a situation makes them attracted. They particualry like it when a mans relaxed manner makes them calm as well. If you are very confident and very relaxed they will tune in to your vibe and adjust acordingly.

Edited January 29, 2011 by markern

[SilentControl]

[Maddie]

[Everything]

so it takes a lot more to attract a woman then, it takes mystery, etc. a laundry list.

 

men, well it's a lot more simple,and every girl was born beautiful.

Women do laundry and have several laundry lists. They actually make laundry lists for men then men rejects laundry lists, and women forget the laundry lists for men. Then women throws away laundry list and just goes washing everything her self. Then she get frustrated, seeks some alone time, grows spiritually and from that journey takes a new inner core essence as her lifetime treasure. She now does laundry with this treasure always by her side.

 

We men just do laundry then realise that there are some inner treasures to be found along the way.

Edited January 28, 2011 by Everything

[Maddie]

I'd add to what was just said by also saying that attracting women is not hard, I don't care how you look (ever see a hot babe with a fat slob? I sure have, many times) What can be difficult though is feeling good about one's self ;-)

[markern]

[Maddie]

 

 

On a side note Paul Ekman the worlds foremost expert on facial expressions found in a study that people who have long term meditation practices are remarkable at reading emotions. THey excell ont eh level of the best naturally talented people and those who has undergone intensive training in reading faces.

 

I think several things go into this. Meditation teaches you to recognize your own emotions and that is the basis for recognizing emotions in others. ALso it makes you just perceptive and sensitive and focused. So Long term cultivation teaches you the basics of social and emotional inteligence, udnerstanding your own emotions and reading that of others. In addition you will learn to controll your own mental state better than any of the men you are competing with.

 

 

 

Haha thats funny cause last night I went out on a date with this really smart and pretty girl :-), but after a while she said "how and why do you seem to know exactely what I'm feeling when ever I feel it?" lol ,and I replied "I think qigong makes one more sensitive to such things" haha. And yes the longer I do qigong the more comfortable I am with women. As a teen I was very socially ackward, but qigong has done volumes to balance me emotionally in all regards.

[King Kabalabhati]

Haha thats funny cause last night I went out on a date with this really smart and pretty girl :-), but after a while she said "how and why do you seem to know exactely what I'm feeling when ever I feel it?" lol ,and I replied "I think qigong makes one more sensitive to such things" haha. And yes the longer I do qigong the more comfortable I am with women. As a teen I was very socially ackward, but qigong has done volumes to balance me emotionally in all regards.

 

Heh I was just hanging out in the disco after my show last weekend and this girl comes to talk to me. Then we dance to this simple pop tune, and she says she feels like she's being lifted two feet off the ground.. Then she started to shake

 

I give most credit for this kind of things happening to Qigong practice. As the energy, confidence and presence get stronger things really start to happen. Some women are very sensitive to the energy, and they are the fun type.

[Maddie]

Another cool thing about qigong when it comes to your social life (and not just your social life, but life in general) is that if you are doing something wrong I think it helps you to be objective with yourself and recognize it pretty fast in order that you can make changes. I've been noticing this pattern lately that I'll meet a girl, things go well at first, and then they just sort of drop off the radar. Naturally I was pondering this as I tend to do, and realized first that I was making the HUGE mistake in dating of getting too excited about it all too fast. What I mean by that isn't that I was trying to get in their pants quickly, but that I would think "oh this is a cool chick" and then start feeling too attached too fast, which of course comes off as kind of clingy/needy/insecure, because it is (this is the painful part of qigong, it helps you to be very honest with yourself). So being a qigong person I didn't just think "oh that sucks" but rather I began to ponder my energy and try to figure out what it is that is causing me to have this type of relationship killing reaction. Well it didn't take too long to figure out that this issue lies in the middle dan tien area.

In the middle dan tien area lie the heart and lungs. The lungs deal with boundries which in this case can mean either not putting up with a girl's crap, or smothering them i.e. calling, texting, emailing, wanting to see each other too much too soon. The heart of course is about love, and so when I asked myself why I'm reacting this way, I felt that if one is acting needy, then its because they have a "need". In pondering what my need was it became pretty obvoius farily quickly that my need was love. The problem here is that if you want a relationship to share your love with someone else, this is a good relationship, and girls feel this too. If you want a relationship because you want and need love from someone else to feel good about yourself this is not healthy and girls pick up on this too, and rather quickly.

So now that I have come to this realization I believe that the thing to do is to not just beat my head against a wall, or quit trying. The thing to do is to bring into balance the energetic condition that is causing this problem, so that it will no longer be a problem. This means that I am going to put a lot of focus in my qigong practice into working on my heart, lungs, and middle dantien/heart chakra in regards to this issue. Due to the fact that pretty much every other time when I identify a problem and begin to work on it with qigong I get the results I want, I have no reason to expect that I should not get results in this case as well. If a vacume of love in my heart is my problem, then I need to fill my own heart with love, and not try to get it from someone else ;-)

[Aetherous]

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Edited February 24, 2011 by center

[pennyofheaven]

ha, what causes attraction differs according to what stage of development you are at.

 

If your locus of evaluation is externally located, you will go for the 'trophy wife' or 'hot girlfriend', or the husband who will impress your father if you have over - awed by Daddy issues etc etc

 

If your locus of evaluation is located internally, you will go for someone who makes you laugh and smile and makes you want to listen to what they have to say about everything, and confide in them, and regularly push them on the sofa.

 

Simples, no?

 

One could be attracted to neither. It could be an altogether different attraction. Inner and outer can intermingle together with elements that have many variables. Some of which we might be aware of, some not.

[Maddie]

Stepping out again to meet people has been a very interesting experience qigong wise. It has led me through a lot of various emotional and mental reactions that I was not aware were there as I had not had to face this situation since I began practicing qigong. It would seem that I've had to deal with some sort of negative reaction in just about every organ so far, many of these attitudes and reactions going back to when I was in high school. I've had to overcome fear and attitudes about sexuality in my kidneys, ego in the liver, self esteeem and boundries in the lungs, love issues in the heart, and now it would seem that its my spleens turn. Now I have to deal with the obessive thinking, worry, pensiveness, and rejection/acceptance issues that all realate to this organ. This has been very challenging for the past several days as my appetite is all messsed up, as well as my bowl movments (maybe more info than you needed lol). In a lot of ways going over these issues again feels like I am still a high school kid. You know when you sit by the phone and wring your hands wondering when she'll call, if she still likes you, what she thinks about you, wanting to be accepted really bad. Well obviously this does not feel good, so it has shown me that I have yet a lot of work to do there.

In general though I've noticed that when I think I have an organ all clean and clear, (which may be the case as far as one issues goes) and new scenario will come along and uncover a lot more junk in that organ that I was totally unawre of. So back to work I go on my spleen now.

Another thing I've noticed when detoxing old unhealthy energy patterns from organs is that the memories and feelings from the time that the inbalance was created (which can be a long time ago) seem to return in a very strong way. Its as though it was stuck there all along, and now that its being released its like BAM you feel it all again. That same ackward high school kid seems to have been dormant in there all this time, its weird.

I remember someone mentioning that having a clear and healthy spleen was important in the dating world, and I can definately agree with that. If your pensive and ackward that is a big turn off, and plus you don't have any fun either. On the other hand if your very comfortable with yourself, then others naturally will be too. Of course having all the organs balanced is important .

[manitou]

to me physical beauty does not = attraction.

I can admire physical beauty, but for me to be interested in someone enough go out with, they need to be more than that. They need to stand out to me and really show some of the common things that I'm interested in. For me true attraction occurs when there is a physical and spiritual connection. I haven't yet found the girl for me, maybe because at the moment I'm not really trying; I'm just gonna let the universe present me with my perfect person when the time is right.

 

I think this says it all. 'I'm just gonna let the universe present me with my perfect person when the time is right.' There you go. By doing this, you are eliminating all preconceptions from your mind as to what you think is the perfect person. You would probably sell yourself short. Also, if you practice wu-wei on this situation, you will get what you need at this phase of your soul development. It will fit like a glove. It may not be your soul mate Forever, but it is what you need at the time.

 

There's a little pamphlet of a book that changed my life about 30 years ago. It's called The Impersonal Life, written by an anonymous author (sometimes attributed to a Joseph Benner). The book is glorious. There is a section in there on soulmates, I can quote some of it here. Before I quote, please know that the voice speaking in the book is our great Knowing voice within, the consciousness that lives within us and is revealed more and more the more we are able to get personality and ego out of the way.

 

CHAPTER 12 - Soulmates

 

"Let us now examinine into some of the things I have given you, those especially of which you cannot yet acknowledge Me as the Giver.

 

Perhaps the particular position in life you now occupy you do not think the best adapted for the expression of My Idea surging within you.

 

If so, then why not step out of that position into the one of your choice?

 

The mere fact that you cannot or do not do this proves that at this time such position is the one best suited to awaken in you certain qualities necessary for My perfect expression, and that I, your own Self, AM permitting you to remain therein, until you can recognize my Purpose and Meaning hidden within the power such position has to disturb your peace of mind and keep you thus dissatisfied.

 

When you recognize My Meaning and determine to make My Purpose your purpose, then and then only will I give you the strength to step out of that position into a higher I have provided for you.

 

Perhaps the husband or the wife you have, you think is far from being suited to you or capable of helping along your "spiritual" awakening, being only a hindrance and detriment, instead. You may even be secretly contemplating leaving or wishing you could leave that one for another who sympathizes and joins with you in your aspirations and seeking, and therefore seems more nearly your ideal.

 

You may run away if you will, but know that you cannot run away from your own personality; that, in selfish craving for a "spiritual" mate you may attract only one who will force you to a tenfold longer and harder search among the illusions of the mind, before you can again awaken to the consciousness of My Voice speaking within.

 

For a sympathetic and appreciative mate would only feed the personal pride and selfish desire for "spiritual" power in you, and develop further the egotistic side of your nature; while an unsympathetic mate forces you back upon yourself and compels you to turn within, where I abide.

 

Likewise, a loving, trusting, yielding mate might encourage only selfishness and conceit, when you are not yet abiding in the consciousness of My Impersonal Love; while a tyrranical, suspicious, nagging mate may provide the soul discipline you still need and teaches the value of opposition and self-control.

 

Did you but know it, the one who is your true Soul mate is in reality an Angel from Heaven, even as are You, one of the Attributes of My Divine Self, come to you to teach you that only when you have purged your own personality so that My Holy Love can express, can you be freed from any conditions which may now be causing you so much disturbance of mind and unhappiness of Soul.

 

For not until this Soul, this Angel from Heaven, this other part of My and Your Self, who has come to you and is yearning and striving to call into expression through you the Impersonal Love, the tender, thoughtful care for others, the poise of mind and peace of heart, the quiet, firm mastery of self, which and which alone can open the doors, so It can step forth into the freedom of Its own glorious Being and be to You Its own true Self,---not until you can see this Soul in all its Divine beauty, free of this earthly bondage, will it ever be possible for you to find and recognize that Ideal you seek."

Edited February 3, 2011 by manitou