The Weak Yin And Weak Yang Problem

[宁]

Yin nurtures Yang

Yang nurtures Yin

 

Usually weak Yang has it's roots in childhood, the father not being there as a male model, or mother being a castrating type.

 

The situation with most of today's males is that their Yang is weak, and they seek a strong Yin. Also many of the women have weak Yin. The situation is generally due to the labor hours that the parents have to take in order to provide for their children.

 

Women with weak Yin appear Yang/brutal to men with weak Yang, yet they are still attracted by them, compulsory.

 

At the beginning the relationship may be a bit of a drama, because the male is oversensitive and the female is not so.

 

Then he has two basic options:

Option no 1: If he chickens out and runs away, he will remain a weak Yang.

 

Option no 2: If he gathers his spirit, and takes responsability for the relationship, gradually they will come to a ballance first, and in time his Yang will become strong, and her weak Yin will gradually be replaced by real and sensuous feminity.

 

These options work very well with the female counterpart also.

 

I see many of these situations in my life everyday, WOMEN as well as MEN do suffer from lack of their dominant quality, Yin, and Yang respectively.

It's a major problem!

 

Unfortunately it's easier for people that don't have this problem to understand the above.

 

 

Thank you for your time!

 

L1

[markern]

Awesome post. I believe this touches on the essence of the major theme of gender relationships today. What I don`t get is why the weak yin and weak yang are attracted to each other and why compulsively so?

[宁]

I think it's because they are in a complementary state to each other, and it's compulsory because their mind in reality is drawn to ideal models, e.g, Strong Yang, Strong Yin... whereas the energy body/sexual energy decides otherwise.

How do you call this division? I'm sure it had a name...

Cognitive dissonance??

Glad you find something interesting in it!

 

L1

Edited January 26, 2011 by Little1

[King Kabalabhati]

This topic speaks to me too. There's a great dissonance when a boy gets emotionally castrated by his mother ("look what your father/men in general have done to me") and psychilogically still has the example and influence of his father in him.

[RiverSnake]

My mom got divorced from my dad and as a result a lot of her negativity energy rubbed off on me.

 

-It took me awhile to get over it. Chi-Gung and meditation helped me clean that programming out of my system.

 

-Nowadays to many men are being raised by single mothers, as a result there growing up acting like women.

 

-I used to be where Non is at a long time ago, he's been sold a bag of bad programming.

 

-I found a teacher and got over the shit.

[atena]

My parents also divorced when I was a child and somehow my mother was able to turn my head against my dad. She also went through a major mental breakdown and has never gotten over it (stopped working, disconnected herself from the 'bad world' around, kinda contracted hersef). That happened when I was around 11 or something. So I didn't have any kind of healthy role models to look up to.

Years ago my life totally crumbled to dust because of my non-existent upbringing and I'm still in the process of trying to find something, actually anything healthy and confident within me. I don't quite know is it even possible to grow something out of nothing.

 

Lately I've been having experience(s) of yin/feminine, intuitive side waking up, which feels very supportive.

I'd say that if yin gets frozen it can wear down the yang.

 

In totality I think these issues seem so god damn complex and multi layered, and when it comes to how to be a man, and what it actually is, I don't have a freaking idea and even wouldn't know from where to start.

[King Kabalabhati]

 

I don't quite know is it even possible to grow something out of nothing.

 

 

That's what Tao is all about.

[JohnC]

Yin nurtures Yang

Yang nurtures Yin

 

Usually weak Yang has it's roots in childhood, the father not being there as a male model, or mother being a castrating type.

 

The situation with most of today's males is that their Yang is weak, and they seek a strong Yin. Also many of the women have weak Yin. The situation is generally due to the labor hours that the parents have to take in order to provide for their children.

 

Women with weak Yin appear Yang/brutal to men with weak Yang, yet they are still attracted by them, compulsory.

 

At the beginning the relationship may be a bit of a drama, because the male is oversensitive and the female is not so.

 

Then he has two basic options:

Option no 1: If he chickens out and runs away, he will remain a weak Yang.

 

Option no 2: If he gathers his spirit, and takes responsability for the relationship, gradually they will come to a ballance first, and in time his Yang will become strong, and her weak Yin will gradually be replaced by real and sensuous feminity.

 

These options work very well with the female counterpart also.

 

I see many of these situations in my life everyday, WOMEN as well as MEN do suffer from lack of their dominant quality, Yin, and Yang respectively.

It's a major problem!

 

Unfortunately it's easier for people that don't have this problem to understand the above.

 

 

Thank you for your time!

 

L1

 

Dude... I agree with this.

 

I have extensive studies in psychology and specifically the dynamics between men and women, relationships and your relationship with yourself.

 

The book 'No more mr. nice guy' almost specifically is a road map for this. It's about guys becoming healthy rather than being manipulative and 'nice'.

 

The guy is very weak yang, doesn't ask for his want's doesn't do what he wants in the world and is generally looking to the woman for what to be doing. Over time this eats at him (sometimes! Some guys like this, all a choice being the deal. Some men like being yin, some women yang... although we are best in our homes is my theory, that being men being yang women yin.)

 

As the guy starts to set boundaries, take care of himself, etc etc he becomes more yang, and another side effect for a lot of guys is sex starts to be good again, the woman suddenly stops having headaches and the guy starts getting in touch with his primal side.

 

It occurs to me that all actions and the like come from where your at energetically. If your yang and more masculine it has a certain feel to it(think gladiator, russel crowe) and you can do anything from that place and it is yang and masculine. Where as if your yin and the like (think.... some of the more metro guys.. I'm sure there are good examples) then you do anything and it comes off more feminine and yin.

 

Psychology has terms for this stuff that the taoists call different things, but there is an extreme amount of overlap and we are all looking at the same thing from different perspectives and labels... but it is the same thing.

 

John

Edited January 26, 2011 by JohnC

[三江源]

Women with weak Yin appear Yang/brutal to men with weak Yang, yet they are still attracted by them, compulsory.

 

 

 

 

 

L1

 

I see this, it is painful to see. The over opinionated unfeminine woman and the marshmallow man in her pocket.

 

Solutions are manifold. The first thing is for the issue to be recognised, and as you said, it is easier for those outside the issue to see it.

 

Women with weak Yin are very truculent beings, often competetive with men and keen on power, with an unfluid mind set, a harshness about them that precludes genuine humour, and a need to be right! Men who are weak in themselves find these kind of women reassuring.. being hen pecked is better than no peck at all.. eh?

 

 

Men need positive male role models and male company that achieves and respects itself. Get out and fish and raft and do your aikido or drumming and playing in a band or whatever it is. And dont be a vegetarian.

 

The women with weak Yin have often responded to their father with an overweening mixture of awe and fear, so that the 'male' seems something that they must match and compete with, and the feminine is intrinsically undervalued in them, and is something they reach out to only nominally with a reactive quasi 'feminism' whilst holding no real femininity inside themselves. It is such a common configuration, the woman complaining about the plight of women, who actually is very unwomanly, and the woman closest to her, who is suffering from having no rights, is the one in her psyche.

 

Weak Yin needs to learn to love the receptive, the non linear, the blossoming and the process, to let go of competing with men, of proving anything to men, of trying to please daddy, of trying to be the best, and just to melt in to her body and heart, to stay outside of logos oriented solutions.

 

I think David deida offers great solutions to this issue in his work.

[Non]

quick solution:

 

guys be more brutal, be more bad. be more careless about STDs. DOn't care about women.

women, be more passive, more slutty, etc. etc. etc.

 

men, hang out with overly dominant women who will cheat on you, make a fool of you, and violate you in the worst ways.

 

women: just take advantage of a weak man.

 

 

Now... obviously this isn't it. But most peopl here (everywhere) think this is it.

 

Whatever happened to Yang being just yang and not "harshness" and brutality? OR even masculine?

 

Why even DUALIZE IT!?

 

Why even have to be yin or yang when your "problem" is your masculinity? Which is not even exclusively yin or yang.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Non

[Non]

Much easier for the woman.

 

OR at least.. to get by without ever really solving the problem right?

 

A yang woman always finds a mate, whether or not it heals. She always does.

 

A man who is just a little yin, gets nothing but cuckoldry,and that's IF anything at all.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Non

[Non]

and yea, Im raw vegan. and you all call me sexist.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Non

[RiverSnake]

-Being a strong confident man never goes out of style.

[Kali Yuga]

These really are the problems in our modern society.

 

Men, who were never taught what it means to be a real man by those who should be manliest, their fathers, live life around in a blurry haze, never being able to stand up to circumstances in life, demanding and taking that which is his. This takes life defining experiences - experiences that are lost to our culture.

 

In our society we have lost what was most common in tribal societies. We no longer have the rituals of initiation into manhood. We no longer go through arduous ideals in order to realize that strength that sleeps inside of us, that it has to awaken before one can become truly a man.

 

instead we all are hypnotized by advertising, TV, movies, radio, Hilfiger among other things. To have true self value one has to look like an athlete, one has to have Nike shoes, one has to be all this bullshit that other people say you have to be.

 

The basis of achievement in our modern culture is that you make money - which reflects a very materialistic and ultimately very puerile ideal system. In classical Spartan society one before becoming a real, true man, one would have to survive out in the wilderness with literally nothing except the clothes on one's back. Think of the incredible strength one has to summon up in order to live in that manner, and what it would prove to one's self regarding his own inner power. Now we don't prove anything to ourselves anymore.

 

Compare this with our addiction today to McDonald's and World of Warcraft. We live in a culture of junk food, self ambiguity, and internet porn. before we had people like Benjamin Franklin. Now we have Kanye West and Lady Gaga. and we presume to be superior over people of the past.

 

Our modern culture is no doubt convenient, but its also a big fucking joke.

[宁]

-Being a strong confident man never goes out of style.

 

Yes, however getting there is pretty tricky, at least to a weak Yang male.

If you do have a practice that helped you, you are a lucky one.

Choosing Which to cure What is real luck, or real knowledge, and not many have that.

Don't be too harsh on those that don't.

 

 

 

Oh did I mention that Veganism tends to make the male more Yin?

What do you all think of this assessment, is it correct? Why?

[Enishi]

Much easier for the woman.

 

OR at least.. to get by without ever really solving the problem right?

 

A yang woman always finds a mate, whether or not it heals. She always does.

 

A man who is just a little yin, gets nothing but cuckoldry,and that's IF anything at all.

 

Even for the (false) yang women who seem to have a lot of sex and find a beta mate/slave, they aren't necessarily happy. Rates of depression and anti-depressant drug usage are shooting through the roof for western women, and "career women" are among the unhappiest of all. So they aren't necessarily winning.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Enishi

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

These really are the problems....

 

In classical Spartan society one before becoming a real, true man, one would have to survive out in the wilderness with literally nothing except the clothes on one's back. Think of the incredible strength one has to summon up in order to live in that manner, and what it would prove to one's self regarding his own inner power. Now we don't prove anything to ourselves anymore.

 

....its also a big fucking joke.

 

I think you spoke a lot of truth there. Just one point...the Spartans were a bit naughty with their young boys, historically speaking.

 

But in general, I catch your drift and it's true. Sadly.

[Upfromtheashes]

Even for the (false) yang women who seem to have a lot of sex and find a beta mate/slave, they aren't necessarily happy. Rates of depression and anti-depressant drug usage are shooting through the roof for western women, and "career women" are among the unhappiest of all. So they aren't necessarily winning.

-

Hmmm this ia a very interesting topic - I Grew up with a mother who is extremely yang - she is absolutely ferocious - some experience with kundalini- but you know she completely tries to dominate everyone - she is a bully - she has been her whole life - it is funny - but in regards to becoming more yang- My mother would not let me do anything - she was completely suffocating - I ended up wrestling in high school which if you know anything about it is the one of the most yang things you can do - This was my obsession - High intensity weight lifting - complete extreme obsessive control type things with a very strong yang component - One thing I noticed however is that doing these extreme yang activities often make me more shy - I dont know if it because of some type of adrenal burnout or being so fired up that I cant control the juice- so sometimes the more "healthy" activities seem to lead to more shyness- so ironically it seems like I am often very yin out of fear because I cant control all the yang energy I have and it seems very hard in todays society to ex- press certain yang characteristics - and I did so much extreme yang exercise for so many years it can acually be very painful to me to be that yang -

Another thing is it seems to shift in me - almost like multiple personalities - one day I may be a more yang type alpha male and much more confident and un self conscious -

Next day same situations - terrified and so shy I can barely talk -

But u know I have mood and perception abnormalities and what seems like some type of autistic problem

It is very nice to be around nurturing females-

This is something I didnt think I would ever say but it can be stabilizing to be around very old women-

But u know girls in general are just great as long as they are not cynical

 

Ironically I had a dream where I was in the kitchen at home and my father was gnawing on my testicles

He was eating them and it was killing me - Then he turned into a demon and my body was being torn apart -

I was dying

Edited January 27, 2011 by Upfromtheashes

[宁]

Would it be possible to solve the weak Yin / weak Yang probleme 'merely' by Qigong practice?

 

I think not, at least I think getting involved into a relationship to do it...makes it alot easier. And has wondrous advantages

[King Kabalabhati]

 

I think not, at least I think getting involved into a relationship to do it...makes it alot easier. And has wondrous advantages

 

DOESNT make it easier, it can be devastatingly tough. But if you're into the "self improvement" scene then that's probably the quickest way, and maybe the only way that's quick enough for one lifetime.

 

edit: refinement

Edited January 27, 2011 by King Kabalabhati

[RiverSnake]

Would it be possible to solve the weak Yin / weak Yang probleme 'merely' by Qigong practice?

 

I think not, at least I think getting involved into a relationship to do it...makes it alot easier. And has wondrous advantages

 

Having found a teacher and gone and am still going through the process of un-pussifying myself i can say that there are three things that are core in cultivating yourself.

 

 

1.) WORK OUT: Get under the iron, get some testosterone flowing and do other Yang activities: boxing, martial arts...etc Change yourself from being a bony tooth-pick to a man that women gawk over.

 

2.) Social Skills: Everyday go out and talk to people (men and women!), say "HI HOW YOU DOING" to people even if you don't know them. Talk to others until its natural. Also go to Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of a crowd. For god-sake develop some charisma! Social skills are of paramount importance. Don't wast your time playing WOW or Halo.

 

3.) MEDITATION and CHI-GUNG: Raise your vibration rate and purify yourself of ANTS (automatic negative thoughts). Gain Knowledge of self and develop a firm root.

 

-Also set long term goals, measure your progress every six months. Do all this, practice daily and consistently and i gurantee you will have results.

 

-Peace

[宁]

Having found a teacher and gone and am still going through the process of un-pussifying myself i can say that there are three things that are core in cultivating yourself.

 

 

1.) WORK OUT: Get under the iron, get some testosterone flowing and do other Yang activities: boxing, martial arts...etc Change yourself from being a bony tooth-pick to a man that women gawk over.

 

2.) Social Skills: Everyday go out and talk to people (men and women!), say "HI HOW YOU DOING" to people even if you don't know them. Talk to others until its natural. Also go to Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of a crowd. For god-sake develop some charisma! Social skills are of paramount importance. Don't wast your time playing WOW or Halo.

 

3.) MEDITATION and CHI-GUNG: Raise your vibration rate and purify yourself of ANTS (automatic negative thoughts). Gain Knowledge of self and develop a firm root.

 

-Also set long term goals, measure your progress every six months. Do all this, practice daily and consistently and i gurantee you will have results.

 

-Peace

 

 

I really admire your method, I do - and a man does need these activities, as much as a lady needs her purse with her cosmethics:)

 

However, there's something related to what Rainbow Vein wrote above, that I think one may not find in un-pussifying methods alone.

 

RW, those elephants lurking around (you meant big issues, right?) in ordinary people's homes are VERY IMPORTANT. To me, each of those olyphants is a gateway to a new and profound dimension that awaits for exploration...

I think of them, as oportunities alive, that weren't met with courage respect and integrity, and turned into monsters.

Yet if you touch them, however painful that may be, voila! miracle....

ON ONE CONDITION: that the couple is dedicated, and really wants to evolve...

 

 

NON, i see you trying to write something.

Please stay out of this one

If you want to have fun pitying yourself, please return to your initial thread!

Sorry mate, I have to treat you 'manly' this time!

 

Edited January 27, 2011 by Little1

[Non]

-

Hmmm this ia a very interesting topic - I Grew up with a mother who is extremely yang - she is absolutely ferocious - some experience with kundalini- but you know she completely tries to dominate everyone - she is a bully - she has been her whole life - it is funny - but in regards to becoming more yang- My mother would not let me do anything - she was completely suffocating - I ended up wrestling in high school which if you know anything about it is the one of the most yang things you can do - This was my obsession - High intensity weight lifting - complete extreme obsessive control type things with a very strong yang component - One thing I noticed however is that doing these extreme yang activities often make me more shy - I dont know if it because of some type of adrenal burnout or being so fired up that I cant control the juice- so sometimes the more "healthy" activities seem to lead to more shyness- so ironically it seems like I am often very yin out of fear because I cant control all the yang energy I have and it seems very hard in todays society to ex- press certain yang characteristics - and I did so much extreme yang exercise for so many years it can acually be very painful to me to be that yang -

Another thing is it seems to shift in me - almost like multiple personalities - one day I may be a more yang type alpha male and much more confident and un self conscious -

Next day same situations - terrified and so shy I can barely talk -

But u know I have mood and perception abnormalities and what seems like some type of autistic problem

It is very nice to be around nurturing females-

This is something I didnt think I would ever say but it can be stabilizing to be around very old women-

But u know girls in general are just great as long as they are not cynical

 

Ironically I had a dream where I was in the kitchen at home and my father was gnawing on my testicles

He was eating them and it was killing me - Then he turned into a demon and my body was being torn apart -

I was dying

 

It's because people KEEP EQUATING YANG WITH BRUTALITY AND MASCULINITY WITH BRUTALITY AND YANGNESS WITH MALENESS AND BRUTALITY.

 

JEez.. yang is just yang.

 

A good qigong practice I heard is getting up before 9 am and taking in the sun, breathing it in and out.

 

Also meditating on the sun energy filling up the dan-tien and stuff.

 

Become more active, or raise vibration right? Heavynes is considered yin, lightness is considered yang. Why do people mix it up with it because POPULARLY in sexist culture maleness is regarded as VIOLENCE and PURE EVIL while woman is being abused, etc. or at least simply a sex toy.

 

Not: "Be more brutal, step on poeple's toes to get what you want", etc. It's more yang to be good and spiritual.

 

Yang is considered the heaven, not earth.

 

Also, yin is not negative. It's just yin. Negative is yin but yin is not negative. (as in bad not negative principle) same for yang. "good" is yang but yang is not "good." It only can be said IN RELATION to "bad", good is simply the other side of the same coin, when that coin exists or is being used.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Non

[King Kabalabhati]

I really admire your method, I do - and a man does need these activities, as much as a lady needs her purse with her cosmethics:)

 

However, there's something related to what Rainbow Vein wrote above, that I think one may not find in un-pussifying methods alone.

 

RW, those elephants lurking around (you meant big issues, right?) in ordinary people's homes are VERY IMPORTANT. To me, each of those olyphants is a gateway to a new and profound dimension that awaits for exploration...

I think of them, as oportunities alive, that weren't met with courage respect and integrity, and turned into monsters.

Yet if you touch them, however painful that may be, voila! miracle....

ON ONE CONDITION: that the couple is dedicated, and really wants to evolve...

 

 

 

 

The couple will have to take a risk too.. A risk that they have to eventually break up because of this evolution.. To face the fact that their motives to become a couple weren't healthy in the yin/yang sense in the first place, but were affected by social conditioning or whatever. So it can be a frightening thing, but it should be understood that the end of relationship doesn't mean it's a failure. If both people take the chance to learn from it and improve their self-understanding then it was a very functional union.

[宁]

The couple will have to take a risk too.. A risk that they have to eventually break up because of this evolution.. To face the fact that their motives to become a couple weren't healthy in the yin/yang sense in the first place, but were affected by social conditioning or whatever. So it can be a frightening thing, but it should be understood that the end of relationship doesn't mean it's a failure. If both people take the chance to learn from it and improve their self-understanding then it was a very functional union.

 

Yes you see, however deep your meditation goes, you can't touch these issues with your mind alone.

I remember the Crounching Tiger Hidden Dragon love story, between than sword master and the sword mistress:)

He went into the mountains to meditate, and there, on the cliff of his highest realisations, he discoveres alot of repressed feelings, the feelings that he had for HER.

Repressed Love Turned Into Despair. That is really significant.

To him it was way better to return into this world, and try to make the step that neither of them had the courage to (darn, they were warriors, weren't they?)

And he dies like an ordinary man, and their love shared, even for a moment, lasts beyond death.

 

Anybody remember that story?

Edited January 27, 2011 by Little1