Learning the Sexual arts...

[Lomistick]

This thread is a call for help. I am truly in need of guidance from those that are experienced and wise.

I am sexually confused and I have been stuck in this situation for 7 years now. I am unable to enjoy sexy, I am unable to have fulfilling relationships with women. Please help.

 

Please hear my story:

 

Though my life is going fantastically well, there is one aspect that is really terrible and in need of help... My sexuality.

 

 

About 7 years ago, I read a book that introduced me to the idea that there was energy/chi in my body that I could move and control. After experimenting with it, I found that it was indeed true, however, I awakened my energy body in the process causing a lot of negative side effects. I felt a tingling that felt like small air bubbles under my skin moving around, tickling and annoying the heck out of me. I also felt an itching sensation in certain areas that caused me to scratch at myself. I had never felt or had this problem before and these sensations REALLY bothered me. I am not able to "un-awaken" my energy body and go back to how it was before.

 

I found a way to make these sensations subside, and that is through sexual abstinence. I learned that the sensations intensify the more I ejaculate. The longer I abstain from sex, the milder the sensations became to the point that I didn't really even think about them so much anymore. However, this gave birth to a new sensation, a pressure building in my groin area. It feels like a tremendous aching pressure that needs release. Eventually it becomes painful.

 

 

So this forced me to begin to study how to control sexual energy. Through Mantak Chia's books I taught myself how to have a "retroglade ejeculation" by squeezing my PC muscles. This allowed me to have sex more often without losing such a tremendous amount of energy, though I still lose a lot. However, these "retroglade ejaculations" gave birth to a new painful sensation in my abdomen. It feels like there is a build up of some kind of pressure at a spot 1 or 2 inches above where my left thigh meets my abdomen. If I have too many retroglade ejaculations, the pressure eventually becomes very painful and I get short stabbing pains, so I have to ejaculate sometimes to release the pressure.

 

If I have any sexual release, I lose energy and I feel depressed. If I don't have sexual release, I feel a massive uncomfortable pressure that drives me crazy, and I feel miserable. Either way I lose.

 

This situation has caused great conflict and even destroyed many of my relationships with women. I have little to no motivation to even meet women until I fix this problem.

 

I have read pages and pages and pages of information on the internet that all say the same thing. I understand what jing is. I understand that I should learn to conserve my energy. There is just one problem.

I am unable to accomplish my goal of conserving my energy. I do not know how it is done. Everyone tells you WHY it's a good idea to conserve your energy, but nobody tells you HOW to do it.

 

No matter how many books I read, no matter how many techniques I try, I am unsuccessful. It has caused me great disappointment, frustration, and depression. Learning how to control my sexual energy is something that would make my life 10 times better, but I have been unsuccessful after 7 years of trying.

 

I have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on books, dvd's, and even online classes. All of them with promises of "energetic control" or "full-body orgasms" or "Male multiple orgasms" or whatever. None of them have delivered though I have done everything they have asked. I practiced every day and I tried all of the techniques they taught. No success.

 

Most of the time, all of these breathing techniques where the energy is supposed to travel up my spine give me headaches. All of the mental focusing, visualization, and breathing techniques have lead to me having massive headaches that sometimes last 48 hours. If I do them for 10-15 minutes, I get mild headaches or no headaches at all, but 30 minutes or so and I am in trouble.

 

 

I really need a teacher, but I don't exactly see people handing out fliers that say "Sexual Guru Master in need of dedicated promising students". The teachers that do teach seem to be greedy money hungry animals that think a one hour class should cost me 200 dollars. I am not rich and I can't afford to spend 3,000 dollars for a week vacation in Mantak Chia's sexual paradise. Even if I did, I am not confident that he could really help me because his book didn't really help.

 

 

I want to be able to remain celibate without the tremendous pressure ruining my every waking moment. OR, I would like to be able to express myself sexually without losing all of my energy and feeling those negative energetic sensations.

 

I'm tired of trying to same damn thing again and again and again and again and again with no results. I have spent countless hours trying the orgasmic draw, the big draw, dual cultivation, single cultivation, meditation, drawing the nectar up the spine, the visualized water wheels, anal breathing, chi gung, and everything else related, only to feel mild noticeable energetic sensations in my body. For the amount of effort I have put in, the results of been next to nothing.

 

What should I do? How can I find a teacher? How can I cure my sexual frustration and depression?

 

 

 

I am ready for something new to enter my life now. Something that shows me how to overcome all of this.

 

 

Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

[Astral_Anima]

Well I'm no "sexual master" but I do have experience in eliminating sexual urges and knowledge on expressing oneself sexually without losing energy. I guess I'll share a bit of what I know in that order.

 

First off my theories on this go alittle beyond "sexual energy". People often confuse "sexual energy" as what causes a sex drive...I do not believe this is so. Sexual energy is simply the ENERGY that has the ability to create. When that energy is used for ejaculation thats how it's used, when it's used for creativity, thats how it's used, etc.

 

Sex drive is a physical phenomena. It is not just a mental desire to be with a woman it is a PHYSICAL "urge" or "drive" and I do not believe it's healthy. Personally I believe that we should not have any phyical drives like that, but we should still be able to perform. Pop culture has you believe sex drive is healthy but performance and sex drive are not related. Sex drive is the body's desire to eliminate "something" through the semen/seminal fluid. Now what is semen made of? Well mostly proteins, sugars, minerals and DNA. It is my theory that when the body has an excess of toxic material or foreign waste, it tries to eliminate it through some kind of "solvent" whether it be urine, feces, phlegm, sweat or...semen.

 

I too used to suffer with a seemingly uncontrollable urge for ejaculation. I'd beat myself up everytime it happened and curse myself and suffer massive shame/guilt. I felt out of control and pretty worthless. When I was 16 I became a vegetarian and I began to notice my drive for sex decreasing. At first I was worried I wasn't getting enough protein and my "performance' was going down, but I was still able to become aroused as well as I was before vegetarianism, it's just i didn't feel as much of a "need" to. Then I looked online about yogic "sattivic" diets. I began to follow it's guidelines and noticed even more of an increase. THEN one day after a night of porn/ejaculation and a super guilt trip I did my first fast on water alone for about 10 days which completely changed me (I do not recommend 10 days for beginners). Now after being on a raw foods diet not only have I found my sex drive GONE (while retaining performance and an actual increase in "staying power"), I also found my lust disappearing. Now when i look at females i can say "wow, she looks beautiful" and have no desire whatsoever to want any sexual relations with her.

 

Now i'm not going to say it's ALL diet. Part of the drive is mental too (porn, TV, friends, internet, etc) but I am saying that the PHYSICAL drive is, imo, due to diet. I suggest you try a vegan diet thats low in protein with as much raw fruits and veggies as possible. Try that for 10 days and see if you notice an imrovement. Fasting also completely transforms the body AND mind (ime), and can bring some crazy changes and benefits.

 

 

 

As for methods of expressing sexual energy without feeling "drained". Well first let me state you can express sexual energy through creativity because sexual energy and creative energy are the same thing, it's just their expression that differs. But anyway. There's obviously learning to "delay" long enough to finish the act without experiencing orgasm which CAN be done but it takes MAD mental focus. Multiple orgasm is tough, some people experience no drain, some people do, so thats not exactly surefire yet. Try checking this site out "reuniting.info" thats known as "karezza" which utilizes a different type of orgasm know as the "valley" orgasm which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system(relaxation) rather than the sympathetic nervous system(stress) and thus actually BUILDS energy instead of releasing. The other is something i only have very LIMITED experience with but maybe another bum here will have more which is "multiples.com" which deals with having orgasms at will which basically SHOULD mean that you won't have to experience ejaculation. However because I never fully mastered this i'm not sure if the orgasm experienced is still a "peak" orgasm (the draining kind) or not.

 

As for "masters", hoooboy, lol. If you're looking for healing there's ALOT of "healers" out there. I would look up Chunyi Lin of springforestqigong.com . His system is specifically for healing so I would trust his methods. As for teachers of the sexual practices...Well I know David Verdesi is said to be able to do some crazy shyt http://davidverdesi.com/eng/page/55/ And in Kunlun (book) there's a technique for "valley orgasm" but it is part of the kunlun system (spontaneous movement) and deals with that energy, so you'd have to learn that system and find a partner who into that kinda thing (good luck in this corrupted society). LAstly you COULD try to look up a "Tantra" teacher, but I'm not sure how legit they are as I've never really learned from one.

 

The depression and drainage from ejaculation is described and explained scientifically on reuniting.info and i'd suggest dietary and lifestyle changes in the meantime while you sort out how you want to tackle this issue. But for now my personal recommendation is to change your diet to a more "pure" diet. In yogic philosophy there are 3 types of foods. Tamasic=sedative, Rajasic=stimulation Sattvic=calm check out this article http://www.yogachicago.com/jan05/diet.shtml

 

Dairy should be unpasteurized if taken and most foods if cooked should only be "lightly" steamed or something. Try sprouting beans/grains instead of cooking Other than that avoid all animal products unless it's organic dairy. Also try to avoid foods with alot of "heavy" proteins. Try to stick mostly to fruits, veggies and sprouts. Also avoid stimulants like white sugar, fried foods, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, garlic, onion, pepper, caffeine(including commercial teas; go with herbal teas). Doing this, even if only for a few days, should bring noticeable results physically. Mentally, avoid porn, too much TV or internet. Do cardio every day (only has to be like 5-10 mins but make it intense) and get as much fresh air and sunlight as possible. Laugh alot to...it's fun XD

 

Anyway, thats my two cents. I'm sure others will be able to offer other points of view as well. Whatever you do I wish you the best

-Astral

 

Edit: And on a philosophical note I would question why you WANT(have a strong desire) to enjoy sex. Think about what's involved. Is that really the source you wish to be drawing your pleasure from? The typical modern version of it carries many risks that you may wish to consider. It may be a blessing to not want such a relationship (and yet seeking more "fun" methods of expressing sexuality may eliminate some or ALL of those risks )

Edited January 29, 2011 by Astral_Anima

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

 

a pressure building in my groin area. It feels like a tremendous aching pressure that needs release. Eventually it becomes painful.

 

 

I hear you brother!!

 

 

I too used to suffer with a seemingly uncontrollable urge for ejaculation.

 

 

Amen and again!

 

 

As for methods of expressing sexual energy without feeling "drained". Well first let me state you can express sexual energy through creativity because sexual energy and creative energy are the same thing, it's just their expression that differs.

 

 

He's got something there. If I spend a whole day painting I have absolutely zero urge. I feel spent from want of a better word. The dan tien area feels empty.

 

I wish you luck Lomistick. I think many will tell you to steer clear of the Mantak Chia stuff on here...but you probably already know that.

[Andrei]

I do not know how it is done. Everyone tells you WHY it's a good idea to conserve your energy, but nobody tells you HOW to do it.

 

There is only one way. Sublimation. Through emptiness meditation - no thinking, no visualization, nothing, just maintain the posture and let the nature follow its course.

 

see my avatar and this link:

[JohnC]

This thread is a call for help. I am truly in need of guidance from those that are experienced and wise.

I am sexually confused and I have been stuck in this situation for 7 years now. I am unable to enjoy sexy, I am unable to have fulfilling relationships with women. Please help.

 

Please hear my story:

 

Though my life is going fantastically well, there is one aspect that is really terrible and in need of help... My sexuality.

 

 

About 7 years ago, I read a book that introduced me to the idea that there was energy/chi in my body that I could move and control. After experimenting with it, I found that it was indeed true, however, I awakened my energy body in the process causing a lot of negative side effects. I felt a tingling that felt like small air bubbles under my skin moving around, tickling and annoying the heck out of me. I also felt an itching sensation in certain areas that caused me to scratch at myself. I had never felt or had this problem before and these sensations REALLY bothered me. I am not able to "un-awaken" my energy body and go back to how it was before.

 

I found a way to make these sensations subside, and that is through sexual abstinence. I learned that the sensations intensify the more I ejaculate. The longer I abstain from sex, the milder the sensations became to the point that I didn't really even think about them so much anymore. However, this gave birth to a new sensation, a pressure building in my groin area. It feels like a tremendous aching pressure that needs release. Eventually it becomes painful.

 

 

So this forced me to begin to study how to control sexual energy. Through Mantak Chia's books I taught myself how to have a "retroglade ejeculation" by squeezing my PC muscles. This allowed me to have sex more often without losing such a tremendous amount of energy, though I still lose a lot. However, these "retroglade ejaculations" gave birth to a new painful sensation in my abdomen. It feels like there is a build up of some kind of pressure at a spot 1 or 2 inches above where my left thigh meets my abdomen. If I have too many retroglade ejaculations, the pressure eventually becomes very painful and I get short stabbing pains, so I have to ejaculate sometimes to release the pressure.

 

If I have any sexual release, I lose energy and I feel depressed. If I don't have sexual release, I feel a massive uncomfortable pressure that drives me crazy, and I feel miserable. Either way I lose.

 

This situation has caused great conflict and even destroyed many of my relationships with women. I have little to no motivation to even meet women until I fix this problem.

 

I have read pages and pages and pages of information on the internet that all say the same thing. I understand what jing is. I understand that I should learn to conserve my energy. There is just one problem.

I am unable to accomplish my goal of conserving my energy. I do not know how it is done. Everyone tells you WHY it's a good idea to conserve your energy, but nobody tells you HOW to do it.

 

No matter how many books I read, no matter how many techniques I try, I am unsuccessful. It has caused me great disappointment, frustration, and depression. Learning how to control my sexual energy is something that would make my life 10 times better, but I have been unsuccessful after 7 years of trying.

 

I have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on books, dvd's, and even online classes. All of them with promises of "energetic control" or "full-body orgasms" or "Male multiple orgasms" or whatever. None of them have delivered though I have done everything they have asked. I practiced every day and I tried all of the techniques they taught. No success.

 

Most of the time, all of these breathing techniques where the energy is supposed to travel up my spine give me headaches. All of the mental focusing, visualization, and breathing techniques have lead to me having massive headaches that sometimes last 48 hours. If I do them for 10-15 minutes, I get mild headaches or no headaches at all, but 30 minutes or so and I am in trouble.

 

 

I really need a teacher, but I don't exactly see people handing out fliers that say "Sexual Guru Master in need of dedicated promising students". The teachers that do teach seem to be greedy money hungry animals that think a one hour class should cost me 200 dollars. I am not rich and I can't afford to spend 3,000 dollars for a week vacation in Mantak Chia's sexual paradise. Even if I did, I am not confident that he could really help me because his book didn't really help.

 

 

I want to be able to remain celibate without the tremendous pressure ruining my every waking moment. OR, I would like to be able to express myself sexually without losing all of my energy and feeling those negative energetic sensations.

 

I'm tired of trying to same damn thing again and again and again and again and again with no results. I have spent countless hours trying the orgasmic draw, the big draw, dual cultivation, single cultivation, meditation, drawing the nectar up the spine, the visualized water wheels, anal breathing, chi gung, and everything else related, only to feel mild noticeable energetic sensations in my body. For the amount of effort I have put in, the results of been next to nothing.

 

What should I do? How can I find a teacher? How can I cure my sexual frustration and depression?

 

 

 

I am ready for something new to enter my life now. Something that shows me how to overcome all of this.

 

 

Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

 

Who says the itching/bubble sensations are bad?

 

Also it seems like you've got shame around your sexuality.. as you ejaculating and feeling depressed afterwards is a unique experience to you. I'd say you have emotion to clear and channels to open.

 

Keep practicing, and have patience.

 

John

[Maddie]

Hey Lomistick

I'm sorry for your dilema. I think you have already gotten some good advice, and you had mentioned that you have tried a lot of techniques with out much sucess. I agree alot with John's statement that it does seem that a large part of your dilmea is emotional i.e. the guilt and shame aspect. By clearing such emotions out of your channels, organs, and chakras, you can feel much better about doing what nature has designed you to do.

As far as the other side effects and problems you mentioned, you might want to go see a good acupuncturist, who can help get your energy flow back on track, as it does seem to be problematic.

[markern]

If you have or get a partner what I would do is practice tantra acording to diane richardson. IN her aproach you do virtually noting lese than sitting/lying with you inside of her. OVer time the energy starts to move even with a not fully erect penis. You only move a little bit some of the time and veeeery slowly. When it is done this way the energy naturally beahves as it is suposed to. Energy goes from the mans base chakra into the womans base chakra travels to her heart chakra and goes to his heart chakra in a circle. Also the energy getrs the correct arrousal level. The level of arrosual you ahve been taught in chais books etc. is very high like just belv the point of no return 9.9 on a scale of one to ten or so. At this elvel the energy is very hot. If you stay away from conventional orgasms and lurk arround at 8 or so you get a more beneficial energy and ultimately a more satisfying experience. It might take people weeks untill the body adapts and becomes sensitive enough and for the energy to really move and the experience to beat the cxonventional multiple orgasms but eventually it does and you will prefer this. YOu will still get orgasms but ony valey orgasms and these will be mixed with states that are sexually blissfull alhtough not classicly orgasmic. THis should sort things out. If you go through my posts in threads about sexuality you will find I have written a lot more about this other places.

 

If you don`t have a partner I would start practicing qigong and meditation in order to maintain balance and I would stay as celibate as possible untill stuff returns to normal since ejaculations at present cause you trouble. The qigong I think you should practivce would just be a general type of qigong nothing that is suposed to help with your sexual cultivation in any special way as this might mess things up again. IF you practice a fair amount of qigong and meditation over time any function in the body and any weird pattern of energy should return to normal.

 

Ideally you should find a teacher where you live but there are dvds that are so simple to learn from that people can do so safely and with great benefit. Sprinforestqigong has a great reputation and would probably smooth things out. B.K. Frantzis` system also gives great results to many people but some people have trouble making it work for them. YOu could also check out LFying Phoneix Qigong and you could ask the teacher Terry Dunn about your problem and if his qigong can help in the thread about flying phoenix as he answers questions there.

 

Another thing you can do is find a dvd with the eight brocades and combine it with sitting meditation for 10-20 minutes and maybe standing meditaiton for 10-20 minutes and maybe inner smile and or healing sounds. I would ay meditation focused on observing the movements of the breath and the inner smile are great practices for things to reaturn to normal but some sort of moving practice should be included. Tai chi can work well also.

Edited January 29, 2011 by markern

[Maddie]

If you have or get a partner what I would do is practice tantra acording to diane richardson. IN her aproach you do virtually noting lese than sitting/lying with you inside of her. OVer time the energy starts to move even with a not fully erect penis. You only move a little bit some of the time and veeeery slowly. When it is done this way the energy naturally beahves as it is suposed to. Energy goes from the mans base chakra into the womans base chakra travels to her heart chakra and goes to his heart chakra in a circle. Also the energy getrs the correct arrousal level. The level of arrosual you ahve been taught in chais books etc. is very high like just belv the point of no return 9.9 on a scale of one to ten or so. At this elvel the energy is very hot. If you stay away from conventional orgasms and lurk arround at 8 or so you get a more beneficial energy and ultimately a more satisfying experience. It might take people weeks untill the body adapts and becomes sensitive enough and for the energy to really move and the experience to beat the cxonventional multiple orgasms but eventually it does and you will prefer this. YOu will still get orgasms but ony valey orgasms and these will be mixed with states that are sexually blissfull alhtough not classicly orgasmic. THis should sort things out. If you go through my posts in threads about sexuality you will find I have written a lot more about this other places.

 

 

If you don`t have a partner I would start practicing qigong and meditation in order to maintain balance and I would stay as celibate as possible untill stuff returns to normal since ejaculations at present cause you trouble. The qigong I think you should practivce would just be a general type of qigong nothing that is suposed to help with your sexual cultivation in any special way as this might mess things up again. IF you practice a fair amount of qigong and meditation over time any function in the body and any weird pattern of energy should return to normal.

 

Ideally you should find a teacher where you live but there are dvds that are so simple to learn from that people can do so safely and with great benefit. Sprinforestqigong has a great reputation and would probably smooth things out. B.K. Frantzis` system also gives great results to many people but some people have trouble making it work for them. YOu could also check out LFying Phoneix Qigong and you could ask the teacher Terry Dunn about your problem and if his qigong can help in the thread about flying phoenix as he answers questions there.

 

Another thing you can do is find a dvd with the eight brocades and combine it with sitting meditation for 10-20 minutes and maybe standing meditaiton for 10-20 minutes and maybe inner smile and or healing sounds. I would ay meditation focused on observing the movements of the breath and the inner smile are great practices for things to reaturn to normal but some sort of moving practice should be included. Tai chi can work well also.

 

Great advice, couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Edited January 29, 2011 by dmattwads

[Trunk]

1. Go see a doctor of oriental medicine (acupuncture + herbs).

 

2. You also need to work on opening the channels and tissues.

 

3. Circulate blood, any way you can. Running, any aerobic exercise.

 

Read the healing love dangers section from alchemicaltaoism.com.

 

- Trunk

[3L3VAT3]

Have you tried "Secret Smile"?

 

...it seems to be kind of a panacea... and it's fun!

 

If your getting headaches when you bring energy up it seems like the energy is getting stuck in your head... Do you have the 'orbits' open? LIke can you bring the energy back down either the front or the back channel?

 

I hope you find a solution!

[Otis]

Sex drive is a physical phenomena. It is not just a mental desire to be with a woman it is a PHYSICAL "urge" or "drive" and I do not believe it's healthy. Personally I believe that we should not have any phyical drives like that, but we should still be able to perform.

...

I too used to suffer with a seemingly uncontrollable urge for ejaculation. I'd beat myself up everytime it happened and curse myself and suffer massive shame/guilt. I felt out of control and pretty worthless.

I'm no sexual master either, but when you write that you don't think that the sex drive is "healthy", it makes me shake my head in wonder.

 

We are reproduction machines. Every other function serves to carry us to reproduction. How could the drive not be "healthy", when it's the cornerstone of our evolution?

 

Of course drives are contaminated by conditioning, but that doesn't make the drive unhealthy, just confused. Hunger and thirst can be contaminated, of course, but are absolutely necessary.

 

Isn't the point to get the ego out of your nature's way? What could be more egoic than trying to conquer your own drives (which is just an expression of your nature)? Why are those drives "unhealthy" but the need to overcome them is "healthy"?

 

You also wrote about a great deal of guilt and shame, feeling "out of control and pretty worthless". Are you sure those feelings are not what's behind your evaluation of the sex drive?

[markern]

Well I'm no "sexual master" but I do have experience in eliminating sexual urges and knowledge on expressing oneself sexually without losing energy. I guess I'll share a bit of what I know in that order.

 

First off my theories on this go alittle beyond "sexual energy". People often confuse "sexual energy" as what causes a sex drive...I do not believe this is so. Sexual energy is simply the ENERGY that has the ability to create. When that energy is used for ejaculation thats how it's used, when it's used for creativity, thats how it's used, etc.

 

Sex drive is a physical phenomena. It is not just a mental desire to be with a woman it is a PHYSICAL "urge" or "drive" and I do not believe it's healthy. Personally I believe that we should not have any phyical drives like that, but we should still be able to perform. Pop culture has you believe sex drive is healthy but performance and sex drive are not related. Sex drive is the body's desire to eliminate "something" through the semen/seminal fluid. Now what is semen made of? Well mostly proteins, sugars, minerals and DNA. It is my theory that when the body has an excess of toxic material or foreign waste, it tries to eliminate it through some kind of "solvent" whether it be urine, feces, phlegm, sweat or...semen.

 

I too used to suffer with a seemingly uncontrollable urge for ejaculation. I'd beat myself up everytime it happened and curse myself and suffer massive shame/guilt. I felt out of control and pretty worthless. When I was 16 I became a vegetarian and I began to notice my drive for sex decreasing. At first I was worried I wasn't getting enough protein and my "performance' was going down, but I was still able to become aroused as well as I was before vegetarianism, it's just i didn't feel as much of a "need" to. Then I looked online about yogic "sattivic" diets. I began to follow it's guidelines and noticed even more of an increase. THEN one day after a night of porn/ejaculation and a super guilt trip I did my first fast on water alone for about 10 days which completely changed me (I do not recommend 10 days for beginners). Now after being on a raw foods diet not only have I found my sex drive GONE (while retaining performance and an actual increase in "staying power"), I also found my lust disappearing. Now when i look at females i can say "wow, she looks beautiful" and have no desire whatsoever to want any sexual relations with her.

 

Now i'm not going to say it's ALL diet. Part of the drive is mental too (porn, TV, friends, internet, etc) but I am saying that the PHYSICAL drive is, imo, due to diet. I suggest you try a vegan diet thats low in protein with as much raw fruits and veggies as possible. Try that for 10 days and see if you notice an imrovement. Fasting also completely transforms the body AND mind (ime), and can bring some crazy changes and benefits.

 

 

 

As for methods of expressing sexual energy without feeling "drained". Well first let me state you can express sexual energy through creativity because sexual energy and creative energy are the same thing, it's just their expression that differs. But anyway. There's obviously learning to "delay" long enough to finish the act without experiencing orgasm which CAN be done but it takes MAD mental focus. Multiple orgasm is tough, some people experience no drain, some people do, so thats not exactly surefire yet. Try checking this site out "reuniting.info" thats known as "karezza" which utilizes a different type of orgasm know as the "valley" orgasm which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system(relaxation) rather than the sympathetic nervous system(stress) and thus actually BUILDS energy instead of releasing. The other is something i only have very LIMITED experience with but maybe another bum here will have more which is "multiples.com" which deals with having orgasms at will which basically SHOULD mean that you won't have to experience ejaculation. However because I never fully mastered this i'm not sure if the orgasm experienced is still a "peak" orgasm (the draining kind) or not.

 

As for "masters", hoooboy, lol. If you're looking for healing there's ALOT of "healers" out there. I would look up Chunyi Lin of springforestqigong.com . His system is specifically for healing so I would trust his methods. As for teachers of the sexual practices...Well I know David Verdesi is said to be able to do some crazy shyt http://davidverdesi.com/eng/page/55/ And in Kunlun (book) there's a technique for "valley orgasm" but it is part of the kunlun system (spontaneous movement) and deals with that energy, so you'd have to learn that system and find a partner who into that kinda thing (good luck in this corrupted society). LAstly you COULD try to look up a "Tantra" teacher, but I'm not sure how legit they are as I've never really learned from one.

 

The depression and drainage from ejaculation is described and explained scientifically on reuniting.info and i'd suggest dietary and lifestyle changes in the meantime while you sort out how you want to tackle this issue. But for now my personal recommendation is to change your diet to a more "pure" diet. In yogic philosophy there are 3 types of foods. Tamasic=sedative, Rajasic=stimulation Sattvic=calm check out this article http://www.yogachicago.com/jan05/diet.shtml

 

Dairy should be unpasteurized if taken and most foods if cooked should only be "lightly" steamed or something. Try sprouting beans/grains instead of cooking Other than that avoid all animal products unless it's organic dairy. Also try to avoid foods with alot of "heavy" proteins. Try to stick mostly to fruits, veggies and sprouts. Also avoid stimulants like white sugar, fried foods, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, garlic, onion, pepper, caffeine(including commercial teas; go with herbal teas). Doing this, even if only for a few days, should bring noticeable results physically. Mentally, avoid porn, too much TV or internet. Do cardio every day (only has to be like 5-10 mins but make it intense) and get as much fresh air and sunlight as possible. Laugh alot to...it's fun XD

 

Anyway, thats my two cents. I'm sure others will be able to offer other points of view as well. Whatever you do I wish you the best

-Astral

 

Edit: And on a philosophical note I would question why you WANT(have a strong desire) to enjoy sex. Think about what's involved. Is that really the source you wish to be drawing your pleasure from? The typical modern version of it carries many risks that you may wish to consider. It may be a blessing to not want such a relationship (and yet seeking more "fun" methods of expressing sexuality may eliminate some or ALL of those risks )

 

Actually the karezza aproach leads to something similar. THe intense feeling of sex drive disapears and you get a softer desire that still leads to people preferring to have sex often but without the same sense of compulsion. I think the buildup of jing to a high level has something to do with it.

[gendao]

[Lucky7Strikes]

Don't try to control the lust, but rather accept it with an open heart. If you try to control the fire, what you are doing is guiding fire with fire, which produces opposite results. Cool the fire with acceptance and relaxation. Opening through water requires an element of surrendering to that energy.

 

The reverse ejaculation is speaking of energy and not the actual semen.

 

The body's natural mode is to preserve it's essence and be in a harmonious balance between your lust and a feeling of compassion associated with that (which is kinda like, hahahah this sounds cheesy as hell, love).

Edited January 29, 2011 by Lucky7Strikes

[Lucky7Strikes]

There is only one way. Sublimation. Through emptiness meditation - no thinking, no visualization, nothing, just maintain the posture and let the nature follow its course.

 

see my avatar and this link:

is there an enlarged version of your avatar? Can you share the link? Thanks.

[Astral_Anima]

I'm no sexual master either, but when you write that you don't think that the sex drive is "healthy", it makes me shake my head in wonder.

 

We are reproduction machines. Every other function serves to carry us to reproduction. How could the drive not be "healthy", when it's the cornerstone of our evolution?

 

Of course drives are contaminated by conditioning, but that doesn't make the drive unhealthy, just confused. Hunger and thirst can be contaminated, of course, but are absolutely necessary.

 

Isn't the point to get the ego out of your nature's way? What could be more egoic than trying to conquer your own drives (which is just an expression of your nature)? Why are those drives "unhealthy" but the need to overcome them is "healthy"?

 

You also wrote about a great deal of guilt and shame, feeling "out of control and pretty worthless". Are you sure those feelings are not what's behind your evaluation of the sex drive?

 

Hahahaha, and what if in another world you had a drive to kill? and 90% of the population had a drive to kill and the authority figures said it was healthy and normal? Then what would you believe? Even if it were in your DNA would you do it?

 

Ejaculation activates the "stress" response, the sympathetic nervous system, it causes over-excitement and a HUGE imbalance of neuro-chemicals. It causes "highs and lows" just like certain drugs by over exciting the nervous system (actually kinda like processed sugar too) and the dopamine release so then we experience the "down" afterwards and we crave the "high" to bring us back into balance and then we get caught in a vicious cycle. Also having a physical drive to do something that harms us is usually called an addiction isn't it?

 

(This just in, 90% of the world are now heroin addicts, in unrelated news the medical community has determined that heroin is a natural, normal behavior and necessary for good health.)

 

We are NOT reproduction machines, we are creative spiritual beings. It's the stupid society that got everyone thinking they're nothing but physical animals who have no purpose but to eat, sleep, reproduce and buy the lastest technology. We are not (IME) just a physical body, we are spiritual beings who are inhabiting this body. This previous sentence is the basis of my beliefs so if you're trying to understand where i'm coming from read it a few times.

 

The shame and guilt I felt was self-generated, yes, I purposely allowed myself to feel such things so it could act as a "feedback system" for my unconscious mind. Negative feelings are not bad, they are learning tools for us to know what NOT to do. Otherwise killing, stealing, lying, etc. wouldn't be in the Buddha's law or in any others, it's simply be "just smile" or "just be happy". But this world is structured, THIS world is dual (even though others may not be), therefore there are causes and effects, actions and responses. When you drop a heavy object, the NATURAL outcome is for it to fall to the ground.

 

And yes I understand I could have tried to let go of my guilt and shame but doing so would mean letting go of my goals. And again I could have just let go of my goals and decided to "just live", but I don't think that's why i'm here. I don't think i'm here to "shut up and stay out of the way" I think i'm here to make a difference because I care. Therefore I have standards for myself and if I don't immediately meet those standards then I give negative feedback to my body-mind so that it understands what my goals are and transforms to allow me to do what i'm here to do.

 

See the body-mind that we inhabit is actually quite powerful and we can program it to be whatever we want to experience. Personality is changable, thoughts are changable, emotions are changable, none of these things are the essence of our being, they are a product of our will. Now obviously the body-mind is resiliant to change. It takes some time and some discomfort to change the body-mind but if you know how, then you can be what/who-ever you want. Thus when you realize who you are and you decide who you want to be the body-mind can be programmed to become that. And that is what i'm doing. When I find an aspect of my self that is unfavourable then I give the body-mind negative feedback and replace it with a new system that better suits my desires.

 

To all who said you can't use fire to control fire...Your poetics SOUND nice but I'm a living testament that it's possible. You simply need to now whats causing it. You can't simply use your willpower to heal from a disease, however if you understand what causes the disease you can use your willpower to do what's necessary to cure it. Likewise if you have the knowledge of what causes sex drive, you can use your will to stop doing the things that feed it and it will dissipate. For some reason we don't introspect enough. Maybe it's because society has forced us into family life and jobs and such time eaters and stressers that we can't relax and introspect. But when we understand how things work we have the power to control things. People seem to think that they can have power without knowledge, but knowledge IS power.

 

Next, whether sex drive is "healthy" or not... well science (I BELIEVE, please correct me if i'm wrong) has shown that over ejaculating can drain one's energy and leave them in psychological imbalance. In TCM, Ayurveda and all of the ancient medicines it always says (for the LAYPERSON, the lowest of teh low) to at least LIMIT ejaculation and the limit gets stricter as you get older. For the more advanced they give sexual sublimation techniques that allow orgasm without ejaculation and some who find this all silly go for straight celibacy. Personally I find it to drain energy from the solar plexus, lower one's personal power. If you think about it logically it should only be used to reproduction. Since orgasm is separate from ejaculation and you can control when you want to (of course WE can't because of our unnatural and toxic lifestyle), there's no point in ejaculation.

 

On "ego". Many people seem to equate ego with "spirit". If you choose this definition then my goal is to make the "ego" stronger. Here's the lay down. The body-mind creates experiences, yes? We experience them, yes? Well then if we have the ability to program our body-mind (which is proven) then we can control (to an unknown degree) what we experience. Now what you seem to be saying is to give up the spirits control and simply allow the body-mind to do what it wants and just passively enjoy. Well I like that, I agree with that, however when the body-mind is "out of line" it my job to step in and set it straight. Yes i'm a huge fan of love and letting go and just being, however there are conditions for that to work. It is my job atm to help bring those conditions back to this planet so that it's inhabitants can do just that. On top of that the planet itself, nature, is being destroyed. Our home, our mother is being harmed. Even spirits and powerful immortals "let go" and enjoy just "being" but when that way of life is in danger they pull their shit together and defend it. Thats what we are not doing. We're being irresponsible inhabitants of this planet.

 

Now when you say get out of the way of our "nature"...what exactly IS our "nature"? is it what's natural? How do we determine what's natural? If a baby is raised to kill men and rape women and it becomes such a powerful behaviour and he has a hard time stopping is that his "nature"? If so then if nature is simply what we're raised as then I reject such foolishness. I pose that our nature either is loving, healing and protecting or it simply DOESN"T EXIST. To elaborate on the latter, our "nature" is whatever comes "naturally" right? Well science has shown that "natural" is dtermined by neuro-nets or familiarity with certain behaviours/responses. For example when you kill a man a neuro-net is formed. Every time you kill a man a neuro-net is enforced making it easier and easier to do. Thus it becomes..."Natural". Therfore we have control over what we want to feel natural, therefore nature is under our control.

 

That is all

-Astral

 

P.S. The above are my beliefs and experiences.

Edited January 29, 2011 by Astral_Anima

[Maddie]

Hey Astral

I read what you wrote and think I can relate and understand. It sounds like to me that you may seem to think that we are EITHER sexual/animal/physical OR spiritual. I think its important to remember that we are BOTH and that we should not divorce the two from each other.

[Astral_Anima]

Hey Astral

I read what you wrote and think I can relate and understand. It sounds like to me that you may seem to think that we are EITHER sexual/animal/physical OR spiritual. I think its important to remember that we are BOTH and that we should not divorce the two from each other.

 

Hey dmattwads

I dunno why you're separating sexual and spiritual, lol. I understand that to a certain degree we are both. My belief is that we are spiritual beings who are inhabiting bodies of flesh and in that sense we still need to have intercourse on a physical level to reproduce. My whole point is that we're not trapped, we're not limited, at least not as much as people think we are. I have no problem with people who want to live like animals, if that's their desire then thats what they'll do. However for those like me who want to be more, to have the limiting beliefs of others imposed upon us is very counter productive and often times harmful.

 

Another interesting note is that when I share the idea that certain things are possible, quite a few people who are convinced they're not possible get quite irate. I think it's because we never want to accept that we're so limited, but we're often forced to and it's how we cope with life. But when all of a sudden someone else threatens that belief they get defensive because if they believe that it's possible to control their sexuality or become a breatharian or whatever then they may feel guilty that they haven't, they may be upset that they're not trying. But if they believe it's not possible then all the blame is lifted off them and they can live guilt free. I think deep down most of us want to become more then we are, but thats just me.

 

Hell is not a place you go if you're not a Christian

It's the failure of your life's greatest ambition

 

-Astral

[Otis]

Hahahaha, and what if in another world you had a drive to kill? and 90% of the population had a drive to kill and the authority figures said it was healthy and normal? Then what would you believe? Even if it were in your DNA would you do it?

A good example. As a matter of fact, I do believe that we have the drive to violence (if not killing per se). And I don't think there's anything unhealthy about it. Certainly I would not try to reduce or extinguish that drive in me. My assumption is that there is nothing that we were born with (other than maybe the appendix) that does not serve some purpose.

 

My answer to the "drive toward violence" is the same as to the "drive toward sex": make friends with the forces that work within me. Do not judge them, or think that I know better than them. Just make friends, so that when they do exert their forces upon my consciousness, I can be simultaneously in them, and in observance of them.

 

Of course being friends with my sex drive does not mean capitulating to it, whenever it becomes activated. That's a bully/victim relationship, not one between friends. But being a disciplinarian who decides that this part of me is "good and desirable" while that part is "bad and unhealthy"; that doesn't sound like a path of growth, either. Because then the self-image rules the self. But it is precisely the self-image which obscures the self, (and the growth and discovery of the self).

 

So the more determined I am to be a certain way, the less free I am to be who I actually am. And who I am right now is always the person I have to grow from. If I accept where I am (including my drives), then I will grow from this place. But if I am willing and trying myself toward being something else, then I will be building a facade of habits over the ones I want to change.

 

If I accept the habits that are right here, right now, then I find that the appetites themselves want to find healthiness. My desires are just functions of my body, and they want to be healthy, just like "I" do. It is only "my" (i.e. my ego/habit's) interference, which prevents them from finding dynamic balance for themselves. "I" am just a function which cannot micro-manage other functions well, so when I try, I screw them up.

 

Every part of my organism desires balance, and it is only my (ego/habit's) history of interference and neglect which has kept those parts from learning that balance. That "me" which wills change is only one small piece of the greater self, and it is absolutely not the primary or authoritative piece. When I put it above the other parts of me, it argues from a very narrow perspective: its conditioning. However, when I make that "me" a student to my other parts, when I really let myself listen to my body and my brain, I recognize that all their neuroses are "my" fault. It is my (ego/habit's) mis-functioning that has warped my other faculties: my senses and my energies.

 

When I think of "finding the original nature", I usually think about what does a human being need, before he has language? In history, we needed, above all else: the ability to escape, the ability to find food and water, the ability to kill if necessary, and the ability to have sex. This is the core of what it means to be human. I think it is precisely man's insistence that he is other than an animal, which leads to his unhappiness. We are (social) animals, with individual needs, who join together into a society in which we all gain somewhat by not always focusing on our own needs. We choose not to follow every drive, in order to get along with others, but it still doesn't make that drive "wrong".

 

So yes, there's a lot of reason to change our relationship with our drives, get to be friends with them, so they can include the participation of all the functions. But just like it doesn't make sense for us to allow our drives to take over, I don't think it makes sense for us to try to take them over, either. "We", like they, are merely functions of the greater self (the body).

[Astral_Anima]

So the more determined I am to be a certain way, the less free I am to be who I actually am. And who I am right now is always the person I have to grow from. If I accept where I am (including my drives), then I will grow from this place. But if I am willing and trying myself toward being something else, then I will be building a facade of habits over the ones I want to change.

 

HAHAHAHAHA. read that for a minuite. Just go back over and read that.

 

Regardless of whether or not you accept where you are, if you're determined to be a certain way that you're not you must CHANGE something. Change is stressful, it can be difficult, but once it's done, it's done. When you are trying toward being something else, you are CHANGING yourself, there is not facade, it's all real. It's neuro-nets. When you have a habit it means you've done it long enough that it becomes familiar and strong. When you do something that goes against that neuro-net you're weakening that neuro-net and strengthening the new one. According to your theory if you're addicted to a drug then that drug becomes you're 'true self' because it's too hard for you to put in the effort to change so it's easier to create some lie/illusion to live with it. You can change yourself, don't disillusion yourself with limiting beliefs. You can change who you are and the new you is just as "real" as the old you. I promise .

 

If I accept the habits that are right here, right now, then I find that the appetites themselves want to find healthiness. My desires are just functions of my body, and they want to be healthy, just like "I" do. It is only "my" (i.e. my ego/habit's) interference, which prevents them from finding dynamic balance for themselves. "I" am just a function which cannot micro-manage other functions well, so when I try, I screw them up.

 

Every part of my organism desires balance, and it is only my (ego/habit's) history of interference and neglect which has kept those parts from learning that balance. That "me" which wills change is only one small piece of the greater self, and it is absolutely not the primary or authoritative piece. When I put it above the other parts of me, it argues from a very narrow perspective: its conditioning. However, when I make that "me" a student to my other parts, when I really let myself listen to my body and my brain, I recognize that all their neuroses are "my" fault. It is my (ego/habit's) mis-functioning that has warped my other faculties: my senses and my energies.

 

Desires don't wish anything, lol, they're just desires, nothing more. The body is not some kind of all-wise being that knows everything, it's just a body and we are not it, it's a "house" for us, and upon death we leave it behind (or with alchemy we can purify it to merge with us). When we feed it cocaine it wants more. Does that mean it's healthy? hahaha, i think not. We have desires to do silly things because we are in ignorance. We don't understand the way the world works. For example. We may have the urge to kill ourselves...oh that's the body's/mind's desire for "balance" and "health" That part of "you" that wills change is the governing force of yourself. Remember this body cannot function with us, the spirit. When we separate and leave this body it decays. Therefore we use this instrument for our will in this world.

 

Also I would agree that many of our body-minds are "warped" thanks to false programming ALA TV, media, foolishness, etc. However once those "sink in" they become habitual and it takes CHANGE to change them. It takes the effort, the stress, what you call the "ego" or whatever. If you simply listened to your body and mind you'd be a slave to everyone's influence. It's WE who give our bodymind direction, we are the "prgrammers", therefore if there's a program that we don't want there we change it. Now if YOU find the effort involved with change "not worth it" then fine, you choose not to change, but don't bother trying to push your "coping mechanisms" on others by saying change is unnatural or unhealthy, lol, thats just irresponsible. Tell somebody who reversed stage 4 colon cancer through fasting that food is natural and they should have kept eating

 

When I think of "finding the original nature", I usually think about what does a human being need, before he has language? In history, we needed, above all else: the ability to escape, the ability to find food and water, the ability to kill if necessary, and the ability to have sex. This is the core of what it means to be human. I think it is precisely man's insistence that he is other than an animal, which leads to his unhappiness. We are (social) animals, with individual needs, who join together into a society in which we all gain somewhat by not always focusing on our own needs. We choose not to follow every drive, in order to get along with others, but it still doesn't make that drive "wrong".

 

Yes what DOES a human being need? food? nope! we have people who live one sunlight and liquids so food is now a choice, not a necessity. Water? well now we also have breatharians so now drinking too is a choice. the ability to kill? well you said yourself "if necessary" and no, it's not. One NEVER has to kill, they can use methods to control the opponent through destroying their will to fight, paralyzing them, etc, but killing is never needed. And the ability to have sex is also not needed. Maybe for the survival of the species but not the individual. So what does a human being need? for survival? It depends on what they CHOOSE. one always is where they are but it's never where they have to stay.

 

We may have animal bodies but I have separated from mine and know first hand that i am not my body, nor my brain. Fleeting pleasure like sex, the "rush" from violence or killing, these are just stimulants of the nervous system. they never bring LASTING happiness. Yeah you can shoot up some heroin and be on top of the freakin world for like an hour, then you're in the dumps and you need your next high to feel okay again. It's the same thing with food, it's the same thing with orgasm/conventional sex, and with most other things our society is based around. The proof is in those who have risen above the normal state of being. These people exist to show everyone that they're not as limited as they'd like to believe. Lasting happiness comes with discarding attachment to fleeting things. Self image, who we are, how we see ourselves, this is a powerful way to bring lasting happiness, however even that isn't necessarily. The BEST way is simply to allow the love vibration into your essence. Then when you're full of love, regardless of what you think of the urgw to kill, you will abstain, regardless of your craving for ejaculation you will abstain, you'll know you don't need anything to be happy and that certain things will make you unhappy. this is Karma. By aligning our words, thoughts and deeds with the things that bring us happiness we become happy people, by aligning our words thoughts and deeds with things that bring us suffering we become disturbed people, by knowing the difference we become wise people

 

 

So yes, there's a lot of reason to change our relationship with our drives, get to be friends with them, so they can include the participation of all the functions. But just like it doesn't make sense for us to allow our drives to take over, I don't think it makes sense for us to try to take them over, either. "We", like they, are merely functions of the greater self (the body).

 

By stopping them from taking over you are in effect controlling them. the point isn't to allow every desire you have to appear, it's to figure our which ones will bring you happiness and which ones will bring you suffering. It's also to understand that there are no needs that are free of desires. All "needs" are based on desires. We ARE the greater self. We as spiritual beings are not slaves to our body's desires nor the mind's. the body and mind are tools for us to express ourselves on this planet, to create. We are CREATIVE beings, not slaves lol. We are also not NEARLY as limited as we think we are. Look at John Chang, setting fire to a piece of paper with only his will, look at Chunyi Lin, healing cancer with just his will, Look at Hira Ratan Manek Fasting on Sunlight for over 200 days using his will, Look at Wang Liping walking through a fucking wall with just his will. I'm sorry we are not "animals" we are divine beings that choose what we are and how we want to live. the difference is this, a divine being can choose to be and animal, and animal can't chose to be a divine being. We have SO much potential, but due to society trying to control us we believe we have these limits. i will tell you now, if you choose to free yourself from the addictions that have been placed upon you from birth and change yourself, there's NOTHING you can't achieve. And i'll also tell you, if you decide to become anything that you aren't right now, I promise you'll be just as "real" as you were. The nature of this reality is change, the only consistent is our true self, pure consciousness.

 

<applause>

 

I'd like to thank my producers, my agents, my mom, my dad, Bambi, SSJ Goku, Bill Murray, Bob Marely and The Knights who say 'NI!'. GOODNIGHT!

 

-Astral

[Andrei]

is there an enlarged version of your avatar? Can you share the link? Thanks.

 

This image is made by a student of Mantak Chia, it ilustrates the Inner Smiling technique but in my opinion is about Kan&Li. Anyway I like more the M. Chia's books illustrations than the text.

 

http://www.healing-tao.com/tao-garden/universal/en/universal-tao-posters/

 

Edited January 30, 2011 by steam

[Otis]

<applause>

 

I'd like to thank my producers, my agents, my mom, my dad, Bambi, SSJ Goku, Bill Murray, Bob Marely and The Knights who say 'NI!'. GOODNIGHT!

 

-Astral

I've made my point; good luck to you.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Otis

[Lomistick]

Wow.

 

I really want to say thank you to everyone for all the great information in this thread.

 

I am very grateful for all of your help. It took me a long time to absorb all of the information

and I am still reading about many different things you have linked me.

 

I contacted David Verdesi about becoming a student, and the first reply I got was about a 3,000 dollar trip to Italy. It's a shame that spiritual knowledge comes at such a high unaffordable price. It's unfortunatel that everywhere I look for a teacher the same locked steel door is waiting for me.

 

I found that link to the "karezza" sight very interesting.

 

I also really appreciate all the input on all of the creative energy.

 

However, I am actually a musical composer and I do not find that creating music takes the pressure away from my sex organ at all.

 

I did pretty serious Tai Chi training for one year. I practiced about 15 hours of Tai Chi every week for a year and I was not able to use my qi gong or anything to control my sexual energy or reduce the pressure in my groin. I feel that this is an area of expertise quite different to the kung fu training I received.

 

Right now I am experimenting with a milder form of sexual exploration as a means of releasing the energy at

a more gentle rate, but I am not sure where it will lead.

 

I welcome more discussion, but I am eternally grateful for the help I have received here. Thank you all so much.

[JohnC]

Wow.

 

I really want to say thank you to everyone for all the great information in this thread.

 

I am very grateful for all of your help. It took me a long time to absorb all of the information

and I am still reading about many different things you have linked me.

 

I contacted David Verdesi about becoming a student, and the first reply I got was about a 3,000 dollar trip to Italy. It's a shame that spiritual knowledge comes at such a high unaffordable price. It's unfortunatel that everywhere I look for a teacher the same locked steel door is waiting for me.

 

I found that link to the "karezza" sight very interesting.

 

I also really appreciate all the input on all of the creative energy.

 

However, I am actually a musical composer and I do not find that creating music takes the pressure away from my sex organ at all.

 

I did pretty serious Tai Chi training for one year. I practiced about 15 hours of Tai Chi every week for a year and I was not able to use my qi gong or anything to control my sexual energy or reduce the pressure in my groin. I feel that this is an area of expertise quite different to the kung fu training I received.

 

Right now I am experimenting with a milder form of sexual exploration as a means of releasing the energy at

a more gentle rate, but I am not sure where it will lead.

 

I welcome more discussion, but I am eternally grateful for the help I have received here. Thank you all so much.

 

 

Careful with Karezza... some of the tantra is fantastic, but reuniting.info is full of sexual shame and pseudoscience, as far as I've seen it.

 

That everything in balance, that we are both biological and spiritual. Not spiritual at the expense of the biological, nor biological at the expense of our spirit. yang and yin.

 

Astral_anima is a pretty clear example of what seems like a lot of attempts to cut away parts of himself that are 'wrong' or whatever. Seems like a shit ton of shame over how he was made.

 

Cause you can ask, 'what makes them wrong?' who says these things are bad? Why shouldn't you do these things?

 

Whats so bad about it?

 

When did you learn it was bad?

 

It's like hell... it's fun, and should be enjoyed. This is an awesome thing called sex, that is tons of fun, and creates amazing connections as well as enjoyment for everyone involved.

 

So... whats bad about that?

 

John

[Astral_Anima]

Careful with Karezza... some of the tantra is fantastic, but reuniting.info is full of sexual shame and pseudoscience, as far as I've seen it.

 

That everything in balance, that we are both biological and spiritual. Not spiritual at the expense of the biological, nor biological at the expense of our spirit. yang and yin.

 

Astral_anima is a pretty clear example of what seems like a lot of attempts to cut away parts of himself that are 'wrong' or whatever. Seems like a shit ton of shame over how he was made.

 

Cause you can ask, 'what makes them wrong?' who says these things are bad? Why shouldn't you do these things?

 

Whats so bad about it?

 

When did you learn it was bad?

 

It's like hell... it's fun, and should be enjoyed. This is an awesome thing called sex, that is tons of fun, and creates amazing connections as well as enjoyment for everyone involved.

 

So... whats bad about that?

 

John

 

Just to set things straight, I never said it was "wrong". Right and wrong are all relative to one's goals. If you're asking my personal take, its that lust weakens the spirit and physical urges to ejaculate are the result of physical toxicity. These are based on personal experience and observations backed by scientific studies. However, again to set things straight, sex IS fun, I can'r deny that. The whole experience CAN BE an extremely bonding experience that can raise the vibration of both parties. It CAN bring a couple into altered states and multiply the energy of both parties. It CAN BE great and it's a natural part of us so I believe it's a method we've been given. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is how we use sex.

 

Lust itself is something caused by shame and guilt. Most people are still shameful and guilty of their body. The thrill of sex us caused by doing things that are "wrong" or "dirty". As long as someone believes that their body is "dirty" or 'Shameful" and that it's "wrong" to have sex then they will get a thrill from breaking the taboo. But that only reinforces the idea that sex is "wrong" and "dirty". My point is that we should put that aside and accept our bodies. When we have that new mindset and we combine it with proper diet to eliminate toxicity and thus physical ejaculation drive we eliminate lust. I'll say here, lust is separate from the appreciation and admiration of feminine beauty in my definition. But yea so then once lust is out of the way sex becomes a LOVING act, not a selfish one.

 

If you've heard of sex magic and the energetic properties of orgasm, orgasm is said (this is heresay) to multiply the energy of the user. So if someone has sex and their angry or lustful or whatever, then that energy will be multiplied. If it's done lovingly then it will multiply love energy. Thats why it's considered a "left-hand" practice because it's FAST and extremely useful if done right but it's also dangerous because if done wrong it can destroy someone.

 

The other thing i'm saying is that typical ejaculatory sex is inferior because when a male learns to retain their semen then the risk of pregnancy is eliminated and thus one can surrender into the full sexual act without any restraint or worry. IMO ejaculation should only be used when a couple is trying to have kids. We don't HAVE to ejaculate, we can learn to control it, why why don't we. Why settle for less?My point is that we can be so much more than we are. Now I don't care if someone understands that they could have more but chooses not to, thats fine. But most people, i believe, don't understand their potential.

 

Sex CAN BE awesome and i've experienced sex as an incredible energetic experience where I felt it flowing and spiraling around me leaving me feeling giddy and "light" for a good day or two afterwards. But I also know that more alot of other people it's used just to feed their insatiable lust and that lust doesn't lead anywhere. Sex can be a transcendental transformation...if we let it.