the weak yin male cannot find balance

[Non]

Yin males don't get anywhere in this life but death. Being yin as a male, by birth, with their ancestral qi brings nothing but harm and death.

 

Does a yin male need a yang female? Do you think that's the correct balance? What if it's not?

 

What do you see yang females do? They find an extreme yang male who dominates them so much so that they transform become yin. So what does a yin male do?

 

Why can't a weak yin male (which is a false yin) and find a true excessive yin and yang female who strengthens the already weak yin and transform so his yang is thereby strengthened?

 

Perhaps it's because there's no way a male can do this. It's probably an exception.

 

There will never be a female who would truly tolerate a yin male.

 

Well for sure there are always going to be much more females with the same situation but opposite for them who are successful in this approach because by nature quantity of women are valued more than single men.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

I think Little1 made a thread about that...

 

As to your post specifically, I'll repeat what I said in the other thread: there is always yang within yin. You may be a yin person, but there are still yang aspects to you. I guarantee it. I've known plenty of guys who were seen as introverts, and who saw themselves as introverts, but they had some pretty darn yang aspects to them! Sometimes they aren't recognized because they don't always take the form of what society generally expect as "yang", but the qualities are most certainly "yang", and once they learned to see what's what, they had no problems with the self confidence, and learning to bring that yang to other aspects of life.

 

As to the whole, yang female thing, well again I am going to repeat what I said in the other thread. People just want to find someone who will love and accept them. To do this, they need to open up a little bit. But all too often, when people do that, they get hurt. So in order to cover this up, and make themselves feel better, they wind up hurting other people. They don't get too attached because they don't want to get hurt, and they break attachments because they want to feel in control (as opposed to the situation in which they had no control as the victim), which only makes another victim which goes on to do the same thing, and the cycle continues.

 

Deep down they still feel a problem, they may still feel agitated at life. But they may not recognize/admit this, and the cycle continues. It's important to recognize the cycle for what it is, and to recognize when people are just acting things out based on their past experiences, when they are acting in a reactionary manner to past trauma. Recognize that it's not always them, or their fault.

 

Now the whole yang female.... well what is a yang female? There are tons of different types of yin and yang males and females, it's almost impossible to quantify!

 

Some women are very confident in their sexuality. They know they are sexy and they will use it. Sometimes this will mean getting sex, sometimes this means getting guys to do things for them, with no sex involved. But then the guy think, "hey this hot chick was so totally into me" and so there's an ego boost all around.

 

Sometimes these women will actively pursue a guy. Sometimes they seek a guy who is more yang then them, and who will take control of the relationship (perhaps it's a situation in which she wants to feel like a woman, but wants to establish her strength first, so as not to seem too vulnerable or too much like a potential victim). Sometimes they'll pursue a guy and then control the relationship.

 

Then there are plenty of other girls who are very shy and quiet and overall introverted. Not like those other types of women at all.

 

So really, it all depends on who you hang out with, and what your experiences are. There are plenty of yin females who like yin guys. Some yin females actually want a yang guy. Some yang females want yang guys who are so yang that the female is yin by comparison. Some yang females want a guy but still want to keep their roles. There are no absolutes!!!!

 

Which is why I have kept asking you: what is your living situation like right now? Where do you work? What places do you frequent? Who do you hang out with?

[Non]

I think Little1 made a thread about that...

 

 

So really, it all depends on who you hang out with, and what your experiences are. There are plenty of yin females who like yin guys. Some yin females actually want a yang guy. Some yang females want yang guys who are so yang that the female is yin by comparison. Some yang females want a guy but still want to keep their roles. There are no absolutes!!!!

 

I noticed you said some females like yin guys while you said some yin females WANT yang guys. Liking and wanting are a different ballpark, according to many many females.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I noticed you said some females like yin guys while you said some yin females WANT yang guys. Liking and wanting are a different ballpark, according to many many females.

 

I'm a product of the public school system. And one thing they teach you in school is to change up your writing so you aren't using the same words over and over and over and over again.

 

When I said "some females like yin guys", that was meant as, "some females like to have yin guys as partners".

 

I followed that up with "some yin females actually want a yang guy", meaning, "in opposition to the females who want a yin guy, some actually DO want a yang guy, it just depends."

 

Don't read too much into it- that's your cognitive bias at work.

 

 

Now I'll ask again: what's your work life like? What is your living situation? Who do you hang out with? How do you spend your free time? No judgment here, you just gotta know where you're starting from if you want to figure out where you want to go, and how you want to get there.

[Non]

I'm a product of the public school system. And one thing they teach you in school is to change up your writing so you aren't using the same words over and over and over and over again.

 

When I said "some females like yin guys", that was meant as, "some females like to have yin guys as partners".

 

I followed that up with "some yin females actually want a yang guy", meaning, "in opposition to the females who want a yin guy, some actually DO want a yang guy, it just depends."

 

Don't read too much into it- that's your cognitive bias at work.

 

 

Now I'll ask again: what's your work life like? What is your living situation? Who do you hang out with? How do you spend your free time? No judgment here, you just gotta know where you're starting from if you want to figure out where you want to go, and how you want to get there.

 

it really doesn't matter because my situation is hopeless and I feel Im going to be leaving this Earthly plane soon. There's no purpose being here.

[Maddie]

Want an easy yet effective way to increase your yang? sun bathing mindfully ;-)

[宁]

Want an easy yet effective way to increase your yang? sun bathing mindfully ;-)

 

 

Could someone give this gentleman a fine cuban cigar? He is right on the money

[markern]

How about increasing your testosterone Non? Trunk talked about some sort of device to have arround your balls or penis that was great at increasing testosterone. It will make you more yang. You can also start lifting wegihts in the way that increases testosterone the most (research technique for this). You can also add testosterone increasing food. You current diet is probably making you too Yin.

[Maddie]

How about increasing your testosterone Non? Trunk talked about some sort of device to have arround your balls or penis that was great at increasing testosterone. It will make you more yang. You can also start lifting wegihts in the way that increases testosterone the most (research technique for this). You can also add testosterone increasing food. You current diet is probably making you too Yin.

 

My body building friends tell me that doing squats increases testosterone and thanks Little1 I'll puff on my cigar happily lol

[Sloppy Zhang]

it really doesn't matter because my situation is hopeless

 

The reason it seems hopeless is because you are in a rut, and various aspects of cognitive bias are feeding your conviction that you're in a rut and that you won't change.

 

It's also easy to get in a rut when you look at things too abstractly.

 

If you break things down into doable steps, then things are doable. You aren't depressed and things don't seem hopeless. All you have to do is put one foot in front of another.

 

So here are some steps:

 

1) Make an assessment of your life. Your habits. Your schedule. The people you hang out with. Your hobbies. Etc.

2) What about these do you like? What about these do you not like?

3) What are your long term goals?

4) How do you get to those long term goals?

a. What activities do you need to do to start those goals?

b. Who can you contact/meet with to start along the path to those goals?

 

And things of that nature.

 

For instance, you mentioned how to be successful you have to be cutthroat and hurt people. But that's not always the case, there are lots of non-profit groups that work various humanitarian projects in order to help people. Lots of very caring people are involved in those.

 

You could search for local non-profit groups, find ones that pique your interest, then contact ones to see how you can volunteer to help out. Along the way you'll get experience which could help you get other work (non-profit or otherwise), and you'll probably meet a lot of people who share some of the same goals.

 

On top of that, it'll get you out and about. You'll start to feel better about yourself because you know that you can start helping and you can do stuff.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[markern]

Want an easy yet effective way to increase your yang? sun bathing mindfully ;-)

 

Does it work in a tanning bed?

[Maddie]

Does it work in a tanning bed?

 

Dunno as I've never used a tanning bed, but my guess would be its always better to get it from natural sources. Could be an interesting experiment though??

[markern]

Dunno as I've never used a tanning bed, but my guess would be its always better to get it from natural sources. Could be an interesting experiment though??

 

There is almost no sun here now and it is so cold I don`t want to be outside for very long even when it is sunny and no more than my face would be exposed so tanning beds are the only option untill summer.

 

THe "natural grounding" thing is suposed to work on increasing your masculine energy and balancing your female energy.

[Maddie]

There is almost no sun here now and it is so cold I don`t want to be outside for very long even when it is sunny and no more than my face would be exposed so tanning beds are the only option untill summer.

 

THe "natural grounding" thing is suposed to work on increasing your masculine energy and balancing your female energy.

 

Ah yes, well since until very recently I had been living in Alaska, where in the winter its dark practically all the time, I can relate to this dilema. One thing I would do up there in the winter is to eat more yang foods like spices, curry, ginger, meat. That is also where I really got into martial arts, as yang activities such as martial arts where we did a lot of sparring, bag work, ect... also were effective in making one more yang. I'm sure there are many ways to increase yang, though I'd always heard that grounding was actually a way of increasing your yin, and was a remedy for being too yang.

[NeiChuan]

My body building friends tell me that doing squats increases testosterone and thanks Little1 I'll puff on my cigar happily lol

 

I've heard the same, aswell as blood flow in the groin.

 

Although I wouldn't be very surprised if lifting in general does. If you've ever lifted passed your current limit you get a bit of a rush.

[Non]

My body building friends tell me that doing squats increases testosterone and thanks Little1 I'll puff on my cigar happily lol

 

yea I think this workout would help with that as well as the "hot zone" exercise program he has http://www.ttfatloss.com/interval-training/adrenaline/

 

As for sunbathing.. I've been trying to but Im actually scared of going outside and looking like Im doing NOTHING BUT TAKING A WALK with NO PURPOSE (in life) or HISTORY (in life).

 

Actually also over here only old men take walks. The young men are expected only to be taking walks unless they're going to do something "manly". not "taking walks for health".

 

Even so.. you know running even. tried it, felt stupid many times. maybe I'll try it again. I just don't really do that now with the very little money I have and confidence and work/school/internal traiing/diet schedule. But eventually I want to generally increase the sun bathing so that I can develop enough yang to eventually go outside and do that which would increase yang.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Non

[Non]

There is almost no sun here now and it is so cold I don`t want to be outside for very long even when it is sunny and no more than my face would be exposed so tanning beds are the only option untill summer.

 

THe "natural grounding" thing is suposed to work on increasing your masculine energy and balancing your female energy.

 

 

Natural grounding I don't really do, and I don't really want to. I spend too much time on the comp anyways.

 

Looking like a nature boy (with no purpose) or rather with no history of female interaction kinda sucks too.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Non

[Jetsun]

What is "natural grounding"?

[Sloppy Zhang]

As for sunbathing.. I've been trying to but Im actually scared of going outside and looking like Im doing NOTHING BUT TAKING A WALK with NO PURPOSE (in life) or HISTORY (in life).

 

Actually also over here only old men take walks. The young men are expected only to be taking walks unless they're going to do something "manly". not "taking walks for health".

 

I take walks all the time. Occasionally I run into someone I know. They say, "what are you doing out here?" I go, "oh, you know, just chillin', walking around." They're like, "just walking?" And I'm like, "yeah." And they go "huh..." And I say, "so how are you doing?" and the conversation goes on from there......

 

If it doesn't bother you, it won't bother people too much. If you seem all self conscious, defensive, or nervous, they'll think something weird is up, and that you're an unstable person to be around.

Edited February 13, 2011 by Sloppy Zhang

[Cat Pillar]

My body building friends tell me that doing squats increases testosterone and thanks Little1 I'll puff on my cigar happily lol

 

Hahaha, no wonder I feel so much better after training Wing Chun! Part of our warmup is doing Hindu squats! Still can't do the full forty, I'm at around 25 right now...

 

I only get to go to actual class one day a week because of my work schedule...but I never feel more alive than I do during and after class. I do the warmups and form practice at least three times during the week so I can keep up in class, and I have noticed that I'm slowly feeling an increase in vitality.

 

Nothing beats the blues like a good beating!

 

 

Non...why do you care so much about how others will view you? Do you think someone is going to come up to you while you're taking a walk and challenge you on why you're walking? Or will they psychically know that you're not doing it for some "manly" purpose instead of "just" for health, and then bombard you with psychic derision?

 

The sooner you stop concerning yourself with the judgments of others, the sooner you will experience freedom and self confidence. When you're out and about and feeling the harsh judgmental gazes of those around you...are you sure it's not just your own self-judgments projected externally onto others? What makes you think they even care what you're doing in the first place?

 

Now, I am definitely guilty of often not taking my own advice here...all those questions are asked because for longest time it was exactly how I approached the world. Constantly in fear of the judgments of others, of being seen as "weak" and thus in danger of being attacked (physically AND verbally). I've become aware of these aspects and am working to transform them. It's slow and hard work...but I have faith that the rewards will be well worth the toil, if I can just get myself to do the toiling part. But...simply becoming aware of what's occurring psychologically is a reward in and of itself. Once you recognize the patterns, you can do something about them.

 

You can't control the world around you. But you can sure as hell do something about how you react to it!

[RiverSnake]

The most powerful for tool for grounding yourself is "self-knowledge": knowing who you are, what your purpose in life is and where you're going is a very important.

 

A combination of pumping iron in order to increase your juice and meditation is a very powerful tool. I know from experience.

 

-You get both yin and yang handled then.

[phore]

Being yin and male isn't that hard. All you have to do is sit around, radiate inner light, and be receptive. Give your yin energy a chance to draw them in.

Kinda like Johnny Depp.

[3L3VAT3]

Dont be so down on yourself bro!!

 

I'm sure you have a lot of wonderful things to experience on this earth yet. You'll die someday for sure, don't rush that day!!

 

Check out a book called "Feeling Good" by David D Burns... It's about cognitive therapy.

 

you are caught up in a cycle of negative thoughts/depression...

You gotta break the cycle!!!!

 

Just by getting up and doing something in the solution you become more YANG!

You may not FEEL like it, but FEELINGS come and go... just DO something positive and then you'll FEEL more positive!!!

 

...seriously read that book though... NO EXCUSES!!!

[Encephalon]

The most powerful for tool for grounding yourself is "self-knowledge": knowing who you are, what your purpose in life is and where you're going is a very important.

 

A combination of pumping iron in order to increase your juice and meditation is a very powerful tool. I know from experience.

 

-You get both yin and yang handled then.

 

Best advice yet, IMHO, but I'd say that personal worthiness is body-based and can most definitely come from working out. Testosterone levels go up most with the Olympic lifts - squats, bench presses, and deadlifts - and deadlifts are mighty effective because they're not too technical, they make you strong as hell, and they contribute to a sense of groundedness that cerebrally straightjacketed people often lack entirely. I would say that my self-knowledge exploded after gaining about 12 pounds (took me three years) but it depended on acquiring personal worthiness first. Let's face it, self-hatred is rampant in our culture, but "self-esteem is the fuel of the Spirit" says Carolyn Myss. No healing can take place without self-esteem.

Edited February 14, 2011 by Blasto

[3L3VAT3]

"self-esteem is the fuel of the Spirit" says Carolyn Myss. No healing can take place without self-esteem.

 

Wow...

 

Those are wonderful quotes... I'm going to have to meditate on them deeply.

 

thanks for posting that!