the weak yin male cannot find balance

[Sloppy Zhang]

but she tries to hide it and act bitchy so that if you Don't know or don't act on it because you're afraid of disrespecting her it means you're not "alpha" enough to not care about doing something wrong becuase you don't have "enough power"

 

Some are like that.

 

Some aren't.

[Non]

life isn't a game. who has time to sort out through all the damn social cues that are circulated throughout the Hollywood pop culture market?

[Non]

Nice! I`ll remember that one. Key insight IMO.

 

 

shjared only amongst those in a secret society or poeple in the know, which makes it deception to ward off those "outside the know"...

 

so no it's not shared and is about deception.

Edited February 27, 2011 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

who has time to sort out through all the damn social cues that are circulated throughout the Hollywood pop culture market?

 

Like I said, if you have to read it in a book, study it, and attempt to figure it out, you're doing it wrong. It happens naturally through social interaction.

 

If it doesn't, it means you're either lacking in social interaction, or your brain is wired differently so that learning these things doesn't come as easily.

 

If it's the former, you should get out more. If it's the latter, a professional can help you figure it out.

[Non]

seriously though? this is a tragedy. This is a catastrophe. This is an epidemic goin on all over the US. This signifies the world is ending or something is on the horizon because I KNOW Im not the only one. Women are crazy everywhere and men are just getting screwed over big time. All the good men and only the good men. It's really a crisis.

 

I know I'm not the only one.

 

People are getting extremely materialistic and dumber. Everyone and their mom's.No one likes to take responsibility, the world is fucked. TEOTWAKI

Edited February 27, 2011 by Non

[Sloppy Zhang]

seriously though? this is a tragedy. This is a catastrophe. This is an epidemic goin on all over the US. This signifies the world is ending or something is on the horizon because I KNOW Im not the only one. Women are crazy everywhere and men are just getting screwed over big time. All the good men and only the good men. It's really a crisis.

 

Seriously though? Men have been contemplating the mysteries of women for centuries. Some women have joined in the fun purposefully, and played it to their advantage. Some women wonder why men are so thick that they just don't get that it's so appallingly obvious.

 

And while some never manage to get into long term, fulfilling relationships, plenty of others have somehow found ways to connect significantly with others.

 

I know I'm not the only one.

 

You aren't. There are lots of other people who are in the same boat as you. Some of them get help and get something done about it. Some of them refuse to get help, and wallow in their own misery.

 

People are getting extremely materialistic and dumber. Everyone and their mom's.No one likes to take responsibility, the world is fucked. TEOTWAKI

 

People have been saying that for years.

[bodyoflight]

Did it ever occur to you that YOU are being the rude one? You understand that people are doing what they are trained to do by society, you understand that most of them do not have a handle on straightforward honesty, and then you FAULT them for that? YOU are actually being quite insensitive to THEM, because YOU are acting like, "oh, well I know the real truth, this is how you should live your life, this is how you should meet people, if you can't conform to my standards, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship with me."

 

I see this attitude a lot in the posts that are like, "I can't get along with the rest of humanity, I just want to go away and be a hermit" and blah blah blah. It's like, what happened to compassion? What happened to connecting with fellow human beings? What happened to helping one another?

 

I've found that while, over the course of my practice, I have found myself changing a bit, I've also found myself understanding the mechanisms by which other people behave, because I disassemble the ones that govern my actions. And when I do so, I can't hold contempt for those people, because I know that what I'm experiencing doesn't even cross their mind.

 

Rather than giving up on them, I instead make an effort to interact in such a way that they'll understand, to help them see another way of living and acting through their lens.

 

I am not suggesting that anyone take part in deceit. I am not suggesting that someone compromise their morals, or compromise the integrity of another person, just to get laid. I am suggesting that people get down off their high horse, see how people are actually living, and see how you can connect to people IN THE REAL WORLD!

 

 

 

+1

 

 

 

+1

 

And given that through various means of socialization, people have gotten to a point where being direct can be, at the very worst, wrong, and at the very best, highly uncomfortable, you've got to be able to relate to them, and make them comfortable.

 

Even if the person likes you, if you rock their world too much, they're going to feel uncomfortable around you, they're going to feel like they can't get a handle on you or the situation, and they are going to pass on you. Take their feelings into consideration, try to see it through their perspective, and act in such a way that it makes them comfortable to ease into the situation.

 

You are being a hypocrite here.

 

If a person likes being a hermit, disconnected from the rest of humanity and just wanna live out the rest of his life in peace, what is wrong with that?

 

Who are YOU to dictate how anyone should live his or her life?

 

Does it ever occur to you that you are being　rude too by criticizing the life of those so-called "hermits"?

 

Everybody has his or her own version of how the world is right now and how the world should be.

 

If some guy says this world is fucked up and wanna live on an island disconnected from the rest of humanity, I say this is his choice and no one here, not you not me has any right to criticize his choice on how to live his life.

 

Otherwise you are no different from the very rude hermit who thinks that the world does not conform to his standards and thus the world does not deserve him.

 

Cos you will just be as rude as him in trying to conform others to your own biased standards and way of living.

Edited February 28, 2011 by bodyoflight

[bodyoflight]

You are being contradictory here. YOu're saying that there isn't a such thing as "normal" yet there are normal social cues which shd be memorized, or even picked up on?

 

FIrst of all, most of the theory that says "if a person has his arms crossed it means he's closed off" bs is truly BS. Those theories are overgeneralizations. Not all people who cross their arms are closed off,mad, etc.

 

A woman flips her hair, uncontrollably like an unconscious dog, touches her hair, etc. Or maybe she's doing that on purpose because, only an alpha male can sense that a woman who flips her hair constantly is unconsciously wet.

 

Yea, I do know "subtle social cues", I've read all about these things. I probably haven't gone through the most complete list available on the MARKET but I have some familiarity with them, have noticed them in some people, haven't in others.

 

Sometimes it makes me question if this or that. It's really trivial, sometimes it is true sometimes it isn't. Im not going to question every single detail.

 

Am I supposed to "unconsciously" pick up on social cues? Because I'm alpha male, I'm supposed to pick up on subtle pheremones being secreted out of a woman's vagina in the general area? or see that a woman who's constantly sticking her ass out really wants me to notice her, etc. or she just does that on purpose etc.

 

yea I do take notice of these things but Im not dumb enough to uncosnciously make generalizations on every single subtle detail.

 

Can't women just be direct or atleast be honest or do they always have to communicate through subtle cues, and CONSTANTLY making new ones, for the "alpha male initiates" they choose to circulate through?

 

Like for example: red dyed hair. That's become popular a few times in the past. What does this signify? Am I supposed to populate that this woman is freaky?

 

Ok another one: plastic breakable wristbands in different colors that signify sexual acts she would perform on strangers or people in the same social circle of initiates who know just wtf it means, and only "alpha males" would know.

 

Ok.. body splashes of different smells signify how horny she is. BOdy splashes that have pheremones mixed in.

 

Tight latex pants, telling men she's ovulating and wants to be looked at but only by dominant alpha males that know about her "signals", even though it's commonly considered disrespectul.

 

 

ok... she's wearin a long dress and you know that such a sexy woman doesn't wear long dresses to signify she is conservative but perhaps is not wearing panties or is actually a freak underneath.

 

Black nails, black jeans.

 

Camel toes which show she's not wearing panties, or skimpy panties. Thongs which show over her jeans. Low cut jeans. Commonly considered disrespectful to look at but only alpha male dominant men or men who are confident enough to look at them because they are inherently disrespectful, they show that they want to be done hard and roughly in bed. So they will accept disrespectful acts in communication. She acts like a bitch most of the time because she wants to be put in her place like a little girl dominated by big daddy. She wants to be treated like a whore because she wears whore clothing. She wears NOTHING like a whores clothing because she wants to appear reserved when really she's not reserved underneath. She looks like she doesn't take care of herself because she always ready to be sexed on the spot, she doesn't waste time with makeup. She WASTES time on make up because she wants to be done so roughly that her make up goes all over the place she looks like she's been abused but she likes it because it makes it seem like she was dominating by a FEIRCELY dominant man and makes her feel like the center of the universe in knowing she was dominated by the most dominant man who was SO uncontrollably horny that he couldn't control himself or just couldn't give a shit what she or other male would want to stop him even if he was hurting her. Accepting abuse makes her feel on top of the world and other men who were afraid to abuse her, because only men brave enough to abuse her show that they really have power.

 

The need to come up to her overtly and whisper in her ear because she has a bitch shield which wards off men who are afraid of invading her personal space out of nowhere from behind.

 

Oh well these are uncosncious? They're not all unconscious I'm sure. If they are, are they retarded? And to see when men go crazy because THEY MAKE MEN GO CRAZY. IN FACT THEY WANTED THEM TO GO CRAZY!?

 

Only those men that fall prey to animalistic lusts and behave like animals go crazy over a biological body which is vulnerable to the ravages of time.

 

Once you visualize a woman defecating, i wonder why any sane man would wanna have sex with that woman, irregardless of how beautiful she is..

 

However some men would have sex with animals anyway but that is another story.

[bodyoflight]

As a "lurker" of this forum, I have to make an exception and post just to say that Non, your posts are a breath of fresh air and I have a feeling that other people are silently grateful for your contributions here as well. Let me be the one to suggest that you DO NOT seek "professional help" to be made "normal" haha!

 

Krishnamurti said, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

Anyway, aside from chi kung, I find that good therapy is listening to Eckhart Tolle lectures (they can be found on most bittorrent sites), which has really helped me with "being present" and being at peace with the dysfunction of our culture, a dysfunction, one could say, of which the male-female relations issue you describe is only a surface-level symptom.

 

I've never been able to relate to women very well, though I always felt a deep love for them that would be expressed through eye contact. There were many painful times in my late teens and twenties when I was around women in different places and would make some pretty intense connections with them just through eye contact. I could rarely think of what to say or how to talk to them, and when I did it almost never led to anything more than a simple conversation. I was unable to "build attraction" and was completely incompetent at "flirting".

 

All that time I thought the problem was my own shyness, and I blamed myself for all the "lost opportunities".

 

Then I got into chi kung and meditation. After a few years, I began to realize that there was a very good reason I'm not good at flirting. Because flirting is fundamentally based on deception. It may be "innocent" most of the time, but it's not truly sincere. It's about posturing for social status and playing ego games, sometimes more subtly than others.

 

So I was determined to figure out how to express my desire in completely straightforward, sincere, and unapologetic way. The chi kung helped me get over my fear of what other people think, which allowed me to develop a "practice" of approaching women that turned into a fascinating social experiment. I realized that the most sincere way I could express desire without resorting to theatrics or games (like "PUA" stuff) was to just go about my day, and if I saw a women that noticed me and gave me what I called a "green light", which is prolonged eye contact, smile, etc., to basically go up and ask her if she's single.

 

Not to make small talk first, because in my opinion small talk is just noise to "fill the space" and pretend there's a reason I'm talking to an attractive woman that doesn't have to do with my being attracted to her. I shouldn't have to "beat around the bush", again it goes back to honesty.

 

And I found that they almost always say no. See I was thinking that if I could find some kind of "magic bullet" to cut through all the BS, it would snap them out of their little trance and they would be like, "ah, finally a guy who is sincere, somebody I don't have to posture for and expend all this effort putting through tests!"

 

But sadly, they seem to be so stuck that they actually found ways to adapt their flirting patterns to my sincerity. For example, one girl I asked a few years ago who worked at a grocery store I was frequenting said no, she's not single. I happily said OK, smiled, and walked away. Then she said "But HEY, props for askin!" then proceeded to draw me into conversation about the bread! I realized that it was all just part of her "game", which really felt kind of yucky, because here I was trying to be sincere and she sort of threw it back in my face. Anyway, as I continued shopping at that store, I would give her a brief nod and say hi if I saw her, which is exactly what I do with any person I recognize anywhere. She would often look away and pretend to ignore me. I felt a bit sorry for her. Then one day I was at the deli putting some food in a bowl, and I hear this loud "HOW ARE YOU!!!" right in my ear. It startled me and I spun around, and there she was standing inches from me. I said something like "great, how bout you?" She just stared at me goes "GOOD!" I looked at her and she just stood there staring at me. The look on her face was actually a little creepy! I eventually turned around and went back to getting my food. Sure, most would interpret that as "she was obviously showing interest", but why couldn't she have just been upfront and said, "Hey, remember when you asked if I was single and I said no? Well I am now," or, "I was scared by how direct you were so I lied, I actually am single." That would have been a beautiful moment of honesty that I would have totally appreciated. But she could only do what she was trained to do by society, which was to throw out clues without being direct. Of course, if I had made another "move", she probably would have backed off again to draw me into the whole flirting pattern.

 

I've done this "are you single" thing to well over one hundred women in the Portland area (I lost count around 40) and I could tell many similar stories. The bottom line is that the evidence has shown me that people are living in fear and they are stuck in useless scripts that society programmed them with, probably during the public education system (I don't really buy into the evolutionary psychology explanation that they're trying to select the best genes or whatever).

 

I did actually get one date, with a 19-year-old model haha!! (I was 29 at the time) Of course, I could barely relate to her and she kept getting distracted by text messages on her mobile phone, so that didn't go anywhere. Everywhere I go people are mesmerized by their techno gadgets, which has added another layer of unconsciousness to our relationships with one another.

 

Anyway, my experiment is winding down and I don't ask the question much these days. I have enough stories to fill a pretty hilarious book. I've pretty much resigned to the fact that most women aren't ready for that level of sincerity and directness. Like Non, I wonder if I'm destined to be a celibate monk. I also wonder if my experiment had some kind of impact on the collective female psyche, and if so, maybe I'm close to some "hundredth-monkey" kind of threshold that would lead to women breaking out of these patterns on a wide scale haha but that may be just a delusion of grandeur! The problem is that, while this experiment was a lot of fun at the start, it's become rather depressing, and I don't know if it's appropriate to continue. Also, I'm starting to think this is mainly women's attitude problem, that it's their own responsibility to work through it, and that they will have to actively seek out men like me if they want a change. As a man, all I can do is learn to be at peace with what is.

 

Ultimately, the women all seemed to really appreciate what I was doing. A couple of them actually told me that they thought what I was doing was great, though they weren't single, and then they proceeded to try to flirt with me afterward! But almost none of them could bring themselves to let their guard down and just simply say, "Yes, I am single! Are you?" Is that really so difficult? They seem to think that having their guard up will filter out all the unworthy men, but does it ever occur to them that the good guys aren't interested in wasting their time trying to break through the defenses?

 

I once heard some girl who was sitting with her friends, who overheard me do my thing, say, "OH MY GOD, DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT??? THAT WAS SOOOOO SWEEET!" I thought, yeah, it looks sweet when you witness it from a distance but when you're being asked directly you get weird and scared. Silly girls!

 

You do not know how to read the energies of a woman and how to say the right words to invoke the positive energies of intimacy.

 

If you are good enough, just looking into the eyes of a woman will reveal everything about her. Social cues are just the icing on the cake.

 

This is why I keep saying everyone should learn but nobody here is paying attention or at least those that do anyway are keeping their mouths shut. Wise men they are.

Edited February 28, 2011 by bodyoflight

[Sloppy Zhang]

If a person likes being a hermit, disconnected from the rest of humanity and just wanna live out the rest of his life in peace, what is wrong with that?

 

Nothing

 

If you are insinuating that that's the path that Non is trying to live, I encourage you to examine his posts and behavior more clearly- he is clearly not at peace with himself, with his lifestyle, with the world at large, or with separating from it.

 

I am merely trying to suggest ways in which he can reconcile his current self with the world, and who can help him with that, because what he's been doing has obviously not been working.

[Non]

You do not know how to read the energies of a woman and how to say the right words to invoke the positive energies of intimacy.

 

If you are good enough, just looking into the eyes of a woman will reveal everything about her. Social cues are just the icing on the cake.

 

This is why I keep saying everyone should learn but nobody here is paying attention or at least those that do anyway are keeping their mouths shut. Wise men they are.

 

 

Like I said before, people who want to continue the existence of such "social cues" want to stay unconscious and secretive, and manipulative. THose women who cling to the "mysteriousness" of having such "unconscious" social cues and such...it's just ego. They may have been unconscious at one point in our history but to keep us in the dark, and then point the finger and say, "you're not good enough because you can't smell when I'm having my period or ovulating even though I'm acting unlike Im having my period or ovulating."Then they start to add in different colored bracelets whcih are breakable and are supposed to signify different sex acts she would perform on strangers or nonstrangers in a certain social group. Or she wants to start wearing red hair coloring, or chooses to wear tight pants yet look down on you when you're simply being human and looking CAUTIOUSLY because you know it's supposed to be wrong yet there's no other reason why she'd be wearing those pants but to get attention. OR she wears nothing at all underneath, or she wears UNDERWEARS as clothing to work but make good "beta" males feel bad about being human because they notice something... or they say no when they really mean yes or vice versa.Then they blame the man for no being psychic, or learned enough, or experienced enough. or animal enough, or alpha enough. They want to keep men in the dark as well as themselves. There's nothing truly good about having such cues that only "experienced men" can know about because then virgins don't get anything. It's all done to keep this "social field" and "game" alive, to exclude certain "non-alpha males". It'ss high school ALL LIFE LONG. They will keep just saying "you dont know how to read my vagina when it's in orout inside my clothes...... when it's secreting hormones even though you cannot see" and the guys will be like "you don't know anything about women" and WANT To keep it that way. They want to create a playing field where only those "alpha male traits" THEY want to circulate and be circulated with around while others not. "You're not Cool enough". Most of this is trivial! "You can't smell my ovulation so you're not an alpha male". "You can't sense when I'm ovulating even though I'm keeping it hiddden, and even telling you things that will piss you off and make you believe any friendly behaviors you do can be considered in court for sexual harrassment charged, even though I want you to take advantage of me and disregard all my complaints and rejections and calls for help, even if I DO feel pain and suffer". "You can't sense that I want to suffer". "You can't sense that I LIKE to suffer and that I LIKE drama". "YOU CAN'T SENSE TRIVIAL SHIT WHICH I THROW AT YOU TO SUPERFICIALLY JUDGE YOU SO I CAN FEEL SORRY ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I HAVE EXCESSIVE PRIDE ABOUT MY EGO"

 

"You can't sense any of my crap because I WANT TO KEEP BEING MYSTERIOUS AND MANIPULATIVE AND TEASE YOU, THE ONLY GUYS I CAN'T TEASE ARE THE ALPHA MALES WHO ARE PISSED OFF AT WHY I PLAY SUCH GAMES, AND I WANT TO BE RAPED BY THESE ALPHA MALES WHILST PLAYING LIKE I ENJOY IT WHEN I REALLY DON'T BECAUSE I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE PLAYING SUCH DRAMASBUT I LIKE TO SUFFER BECUASE I DSERVE IT".

 

I LIKE TO EXCLUDE GOOD MEN FROM THE WORLD AND BREED HORRIBLE MURDEROUS KILLERS BECAUSE I WANT TO CONTINUE THIS BUDDHIST EXISTENCE OF SUFFERING.

 

It's a MADE UP REALITY you guys CO-CREATE and it's to exclude certain men, GOOD MEN TOO. Women believe it, men believe it, so you can criticize other men about "not beingg able to smell her from 10 miles away because you're not manly enough or animalistic primal driven-machine enough" and women will keep trying to be secretive and manipulative, and men will keep saying "bro she can smell your insecurity about wanting to fulfill her wishes of rape from 3 planets away of course you're not alpha male, bro she can smell whether you don't want to make her bleed which signifies you're not alpha enough you're not sensitive enough you're not experienced enough you're not aware enough, you're not learned enough, you're not animal enough" etc.

 

It's ALL done to make things secretive and all to continue manipulation and such.

Edited February 28, 2011 by Non

[Maddie]

Seriously though? Men have been contemplating the mysteries of women for centuries. Some women have joined in the fun purposefully, and played it to their advantage. Some women wonder why men are so thick that they just don't get that it's so appallingly obvious.

 

 

You know I've been pondering something and have done a little experiment about the whole "women are frustrated because men don't understand them, and thats really what they want" theory. I think that is SO NOT TRUE lol, leme tell you about it ....

 

Ok so as I've been doing qigong I've noticed that my ability to read people's energy is becoming more and more acute. It's gotten to the point that with most people I can just sort of look at them and pretty much get the basics of who they are in a moment. I now think that in those situations a few weeks ago when I would see a pretty girl, and just KNOW she was not for me, this is what was going on. In fact being out and about in public one thing I have realized is that MOST people's energy is not compatible with me at all, ok but I digress from the point...

So on to the experiment. Ok so lately when I would meet a girl and go out lets say to get a cup of coffee or what not, I would first anaylize their energy while we were making chit chat. Then after a few minutes I would say something like "most women claim that all they want is a guy who understands them, right?" and their eyes would light up and they would say "oh yes of course, blah blah blah". So then I would say "well cool cause check this out...." and then I would proceed to tell them all this stuff that I knew about them, even though I had just met them. It was at this point that the color usually drained from their face. They would always then proceed to ask me with a rather disturbed look on their face, how I knew all of this? I would then be very candid and explain to them that its just a develpment that has come with doing qigong for a few years. It was at this point that reading their energy became really interesting as you get a buffet of reactions, from them thinking I was full of shit, to being scared, to feeling very uncomfortable, but NEVER was the reaction positive. It was usually not too long after this that they were ready to go, and of course I never heard from them again lol.

So what does this show? It shows that what women say is NOT what they really mean. They are not straight foward, and they definately do NOT want men to really understand them. What they really want is for men to buy the front they put up to them as this aids in their never ending quest to have power over men. Ok let me say that again, basically all of the things women do can be summed up in that they have this on going arms race to obtain power over men, and they do not like anything that is not in their favor, including being sincere and direct, and men really understanding them.

Here are a couple examples that I have run into and I'm sure everyone else has too

 

woman says: Oh I hate it how men all want to get into my pants.

woman really means: Shes either saying it to boost her ego by showing how in demand she is, and/or she actually wants you to try to get into her pants because she either really wants sex at the moment, or she can reject you and then it boosts her feeling of power of men. (these are actual energy vibes I was reading when being told this line)

 

woman says: all I seem to date are jerks

woman really means: I want you to try to "prove" really hard that your not a jerk, and thereby become my chump.

[Non]

You know I've been pondering something and have done a little experiment about the whole "women are frustrated because men don't understand them, and thats really what they want" theory. I think that is SO NOT TRUE lol, leme tell you about it ....

 

Ok so as I've been doing qigong I've noticed that my ability to read people's energy is becoming more and more acute. It's gotten to the point that with most people I can just sort of look at them and pretty much get the basics of who they are in a moment. I now think that in those situations a few weeks ago when I would see a pretty girl, and just KNOW she was not for me, this is what was going on. In fact being out and about in public one thing I have realized is that MOST people's energy is not compatible with me at all, ok but I digress from the point...

So on to the experiment. Ok so lately when I would meet a girl and go out lets say to get a cup of coffee or what not, I would first anaylize their energy while we were making chit chat. Then after a few minutes I would say something like "most women claim that all they want is a guy who understands them, right?" and their eyes would light up and they would say "oh yes of course, blah blah blah". So then I would say "well cool cause check this out...." and then I would proceed to tell them all this stuff that I knew about them, even though I had just met them. It was at this point that the color usually drained from their face. They would always then proceed to ask me with a rather disturbed look on their face, how I knew all of this? I would then be very candid and explain to them that its just a develpment that has come with doing qigong for a few years. It was at this point that reading their energy became really interesting as you get a buffet of reactions, from them thinking I was full of shit, to being scared, to feeling very uncomfortable, but NEVER was the reaction positive. It was usually not too long after this that they were ready to go, and of course I never heard from them again lol.

So what does this show? It shows that what women say is NOT what they really mean. They are not straight foward, and they definately do NOT want men to really understand them. What they really want is for men to buy the front they put up to them as this aids in their never ending quest to have power over men. Ok let me say that again, basically all of the things women do can be summed up in that they have this on going arms race to obtain power over men, and they do not like anything that is not in their favor, including being sincere and direct, and men really understanding them.

Here are a couple examples that I have run into and I'm sure everyone else has too

 

woman says: Oh I hate it how men all want to get into my pants.

woman really means: Shes either saying it to boost her ego by showing how in demand she is, and/or she actually wants you to try to get into her pants because she either really wants sex at the moment, or she can reject you and then it boosts her feeling of power of men. (these are actual energy vibes I was reading when being told this line)

 

woman says: all I seem to date are jerks

woman really means: I want you to try to "prove" really hard that your not a jerk, and thereby become my chump.

 

see this is exactly what i talk about but no one listens

[Maddie]

see this is exactly what i talk about but no one listens

 

I listen, but there ARE things you can do about it as well, some of which I've tried to share with you. In my experimentation I've also tinkered with the various chakras to see how women respond to the various kinds of energy we as men emit. You are correct women like very yang males, as when I increase my yang chakra women respond, and when I increase my yin chakra ... well they also respond but not favorably lol. I understand your frustration and I honestly and sincerely wanted to help you because I know how much feeling that way sucks, and I really do want you to "get the girl" ;-).

What I was starting to get at the other day was your two best friends in this realm are you sacral and solar plexus chakras. Your sacral is your yin chakra, and affects how you feel about women. Your solar plexus chakra is your yang chakra and affects how women feel about you (when your solar plexus is strong women will melt over you, and won't be able to control themselves). Both are important in meeting women, as if you don't feel comfortable with women, intimacy, ect.. things won't go well, and if women don't feel attracted to you, well you know....

I've tinkered with this on dates too. I've focused on just the sacral chakra and I felt pretty darn good, but it got me no where lol. I've also focused on the solar plexus chakra only and women were throwing themselves at me, but because I had neglected the sacral chakra I was rather put off by it.

I've even experimented while talking to women. During the course of a conversation on a date, I would send chi to my sacral chakra and notice I got comfortable, she lost intrest. Then I shifted this to the solar plexus and she got turned on, and I lost intrest. Then I sent equal amounts of chi to both of them and things went well.

So please understand I was not telling you this information about chakras to be annoying, I really want to help :-). One important point though is when you have a rather large imbalance, you can not just do a little qigong and expect everything to be all better in a few days or even weeks. You have to be very persistent, disciplined, and patient. Since obviously these chacteristics are not easy to have when you feel like crap, that is one reason a while back I recommended some homeopathics, flower essences, herbs and stuff like that. These things will help you to get to the point that you are able to focus and get to work on these things, and can even help you to acheive a pretty decent degree of balance on their own.

Non I know how frustrating all this is, cause I'm a guy too and we all have to deal with women's crap. So hang in there buddy, don't loose hope, things can change, and things will change. I know they will change cause you want it too bad for it not too. :-)

Edited February 28, 2011 by dmattwads

[Jetsun]

You know I've been pondering something and have done a little experiment about the whole "women are frustrated because men don't understand them, and thats really what they want" theory. I think that is SO NOT TRUE lol, leme tell you about it ....

 

Ok so as I've been doing qigong I've noticed that my ability to read people's energy is becoming more and more acute. It's gotten to the point that with most people I can just sort of look at them and pretty much get the basics of who they are in a moment. I now think that in those situations a few weeks ago when I would see a pretty girl, and just KNOW she was not for me, this is what was going on. In fact being out and about in public one thing I have realized is that MOST people's energy is not compatible with me at all, ok but I digress from the point...

So on to the experiment. Ok so lately when I would meet a girl and go out lets say to get a cup of coffee or what not, I would first anaylize their energy while we were making chit chat. Then after a few minutes I would say something like "most women claim that all they want is a guy who understands them, right?" and their eyes would light up and they would say "oh yes of course, blah blah blah". So then I would say "well cool cause check this out...." and then I would proceed to tell them all this stuff that I knew about them, even though I had just met them. It was at this point that the color usually drained from their face. They would always then proceed to ask me with a rather disturbed look on their face, how I knew all of this? I would then be very candid and explain to them that its just a develpment that has come with doing qigong for a few years. It was at this point that reading their energy became really interesting as you get a buffet of reactions, from them thinking I was full of shit, to being scared, to feeling very uncomfortable, but NEVER was the reaction positive. It was usually not too long after this that they were ready to go, and of course I never heard from them again lol.

So what does this show? It shows that what women say is NOT what they really mean. They are not straight foward, and they definately do NOT want men to really understand them. What they really want is for men to buy the front they put up to them as this aids in their never ending quest to have power over men. Ok let me say that again, basically all of the things women do can be summed up in that they have this on going arms race to obtain power over men, and they do not like anything that is not in their favor, including being sincere and direct, and men really understanding them.

Here are a couple examples that I have run into and I'm sure everyone else has too

 

woman says: Oh I hate it how men all want to get into my pants.

woman really means: Shes either saying it to boost her ego by showing how in demand she is, and/or she actually wants you to try to get into her pants because she either really wants sex at the moment, or she can reject you and then it boosts her feeling of power of men. (these are actual energy vibes I was reading when being told this line)

 

woman says: all I seem to date are jerks

woman really means: I want you to try to "prove" really hard that your not a jerk, and thereby become my chump.

 

Everyone has defences and nobody wants other people to see beyond those defences as it is terrifying to be completely open and bare, so that sort of confrontation would obviously be perceived as intrusive and inappropriate by a new person, probably aggressive too, it's the same for men and women.

[Maddie]

Everyone has defences and nobody wants other people to see beyond those defences as it is terrifying to be completely open and bare, so that sort of confrontation would obviously be perceived as intrusive and inappropriate by a new person, probably aggressive too, it's the same for men and women.

 

Yup thats what I learned from that, which is why I don't do it anymore. It was mostly just an experiment anyways, yet very informative. I take no pleasure in making people feel bad.

Edited February 28, 2011 by dmattwads

[Jetsun]

Yup thats what I learned from that, which is why I don't do it anymore. It was mostly just an experiment anyways, yet very informative. I take no pleasure in making people feel bad.

 

It is an interesting point though in that we all have our masks and our defences and yet they are so easily seen through by other people and they barely even work when you are confronted by someone sensitive, yet we do all sorts of things to try to keep these barriers up. But what I have discovered is that is is easy to see through other peoples barriers but seeing through your own is far more difficult, it's easy to see it in other people but can you see it in yourself?

[Maddie]

It is an interesting point though in that we all have our masks and our defences and yet they are so easily seen through by other people and they barely even work when you are confronted by someone sensitive, yet we do all sorts of things to try to keep these barriers up. But what I have discovered is that is is easy to see through other peoples barriers but seeing through your own is far more difficult, it's easy to see it in other people but can you see it in yourself?

 

To me this is the very painful part of doing the inner smile. As you smile to your organs and come into contact with yourself, and you see the things about yourself that are less than flattering, it is not a very fun thing :-(, yet it is a good thing as this is how we grow. I think as humans we love our denial more than almost anything else. I guess this is another thing about increased sensitivity, it goes in all directions and can make you feel very bad about yourself when you deal with your "inner asshole" as I put it, quite painful.

[Jetsun]

To me this is the very painful part of doing the inner smile. As you smile to your organs and come into contact with yourself, and you see the things about yourself that are less than flattering, it is not a very fun thing :-(, yet it is a good thing as this is how we grow. I think as humans we love our denial more than almost anything else. I guess this is another thing about increased sensitivity, it goes in all directions and can make you feel very bad about yourself when you deal with your "inner asshole" as I put it, quite painful.

 

Yes I think that is where the real growth comes from, when you see most the things you hated and despised out in the world are actually in you. This thread needs more of this sort of approach if you ask me, so many posts are about other people or a whole sex being manipulative or egotistical etc etc whereas you only get a very strong emotional reaction to these things when you haven't deal with these issues within yourself, as when you see you are just like them you start to have a bit more compassion.

[Maddie]

Yes I think that is where the real growth comes from, when you see most the things you hated and despised out in the world are actually in you. This thread needs more of this sort of approach if you ask me, so many posts are about other people or a whole sex being manipulative or egotistical etc etc whereas you only get a very strong emotional reaction to these things when you haven't deal with these issues within yourself, as when you see you are just like them you start to have a bit more compassion.

 

Very true ;-). Its not easy being human lol, we have that spark of true love with in each of us, yet we also have to contend with ego, lust, ect... it definately keeps life interesting.

[Sloppy Zhang]

Like I said before, people who want to continue the existence of such "social cues" want to stay unconscious and secretive, and manipulative.

 

It's not inherently unconscious/subconscious- it's just many people are not consciously aware of when they do it, when others do it, etc etc. If you ask them to explain how they knew a girl was flirting with them, a lot of people couldn't do it. However, if you were to ask guys and girls who were seasoned at picking up girls or guys, I'm sure they'd be a lot more aware of it, because their lifestyle depends on their ability to do so.

 

And like I said- it's not inherently "secretive" or "manipulative", because you are SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEM!!!

 

If you don't know them, then you either 1) have not had enough social interaction 2) have a brain which has not developed in the areas which would help you pick up these cues, and getting diagnosed by a professional will help you figure this out.

 

 

....or chooses to wear tight pants yet look down on you when you're simply being human and looking CAUTIOUSLY because you know it's supposed to be wrong yet there's no other reason why she'd be wearing those pants but to get attention. OR she wears nothing at all underneath, or she wears UNDERWEARS as clothing to work but make good "beta" males feel bad about being human because they notice something... or they say no when they really mean yes or vice versa.Then they blame the man for no being psychic, or learned enough, or experienced enough. or animal enough, or alpha enough.... They want to keep men in the dark as well as themselves. There's nothing truly good about having such cues that only "experienced men" can know about because then virgins don't get anything. It's all done to keep this "social field" and "game" alive, to exclude certain "non-alpha males". It'ss high school ALL LIFE LONG. They will keep just saying "you dont know how to read my vagina when it's in orout inside my clothes...... when it's secreting hormones even though you cannot see" and the guys will be like "you don't know anything about women" and WANT To keep it that way. They want to create a playing field where only those "alpha male traits" THEY want to circulate and be circulated with around while others not. "You're not Cool enough". Most of this is trivial! "You can't smell my ovulation so you're not an alpha male". "You can't sense when I'm ovulating even though I'm keeping it hiddden, and even telling you things that will piss you off and make you believe any friendly behaviors you do can be considered in court for sexual harrassment charged, even though I want you to take advantage of me and disregard all my complaints and rejections and calls for help, even if I DO feel pain and suffer". "You can't sense that I want to suffer". "You can't sense that I LIKE to suffer and that I LIKE drama". "YOU CAN'T SENSE TRIVIAL SHIT WHICH I THROW AT YOU TO SUPERFICIALLY JUDGE YOU SO I CAN FEEL SORRY ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I HAVE EXCESSIVE PRIDE ABOUT MY EGO"

 

"You can't sense any of my crap because I WANT TO KEEP BEING MYSTERIOUS AND MANIPULATIVE AND TEASE YOU, THE ONLY GUYS I CAN'T TEASE ARE THE ALPHA MALES WHO ARE PISSED OFF AT WHY I PLAY SUCH GAMES, AND I WANT TO BE RAPED BY THESE ALPHA MALES WHILST PLAYING LIKE I ENJOY IT WHEN I REALLY DON'T BECAUSE I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE PLAYING SUCH DRAMASBUT I LIKE TO SUFFER BECUASE I DSERVE IT".

 

I LIKE TO EXCLUDE GOOD MEN FROM THE WORLD AND BREED HORRIBLE MURDEROUS KILLERS BECAUSE I WANT TO CONTINUE THIS BUDDHIST EXISTENCE OF SUFFERING.

 

It's a MADE UP REALITY you guys CO-CREATE and it's to exclude certain men, GOOD MEN TOO. Women believe it, men believe it, so you can criticize other men about "not beingg able to smell her from 10 miles away because you're not manly enough or animalistic primal driven-machine enough" and women will keep trying to be secretive and manipulative, and men will keep saying "bro she can smell your insecurity about wanting to fulfill her wishes of rape from 3 planets away of course you're not alpha male, bro she can smell whether you don't want to make her bleed which signifies you're not alpha enough you're not sensitive enough you're not experienced enough you're not aware enough, you're not learned enough, you're not animal enough" etc.

 

It's ALL done to make things secretive and all to continue manipulation and such.

 

Non, it seems like you have a lot of issues and preconceived notions. It sounds like you've gotten into some trouble and been burned in the past because of the issue of social cues, and that, in turn, has fed a lot of your ideas which, in my humble opinion, are pretty extreme and far off the mark.

 

Cut the bullshit about "well what if I don't want to live in this society" and "I know I'm right and everyone else is sick and perverted" blah blah blah- these thoughts are nowhere near the reality, and though in SOME sub-groups, may hold water, they are in NO WAY applicable to ALL women, ALL society, in any way, which you repeatedly seem to think there are.

 

You need help. You need to change your life. What you've been doing is obviously not working.

 

You know I've been pondering something and have done a little experiment about the whole "women are frustrated because men don't understand them, and thats really what they want" theory. I think that is SO NOT TRUE lol, leme tell you about it ....

 

Well, I'm not saying that all women are like that. I've said this over and over again, but there are as many variation as there are women and men (sometimes more, as tastes and attitudes change!).

 

As to your experience, well, I mentioned that in a past post as well- people don't like to admit it.

 

Which is why Jeremy's little experience with "directness", as fun and entertaining as I'm sure it was, wasn't very productive. People don't LIKE being handled directly. They don't like to hear the truth, even if they are cognizant of it themselves (and sometimes they aren't).

 

Everybody plays to society's expectations (well maybe not EVERYBODY, but a lot). Even if they know they are lying, even if they know everyone else is doing it, rarely do they ever speak to that- they play the role. In my experience, it's only AFTER you've been playing the game with someone that they start to open up. When the hot, popular girls open up about their insecurities, when they begin to open up about your hobbies like, say, qigong (after they've had plenty of time to study you and make sure it really DOES give positive benefits).

 

So, yeah, telling a girl everything like that over coffee, not so good an idea. Telling a girl stuff like that piece by piece over several cups of coffee after several months of a serious relationship- I'm sure you could have a good dialogue about that.

 

see this is exactly what i talk about but no one listens

 

We are listening, but your problem isn't that there's a problem with society- your problem is that you've got a problem with society, and you don't seem to want to do anything about it, or yourself. You keep saying you don't want to be a part of the problem filled society, but at the same time you complain about how you're too yin, about how you are "forced" into certain roles by society (the celibate 25 year old), and about how it's not the kind of life you want to live, but at the same time you don't want to play by society's rules, but then get all sad cuz people judge you down for that.

 

So, non: what do you want?

[Maddie]

I suppose I should have specified that not all women are on ego trips, just like not all men are, but many are. Though I would have to say that the healthy way to approach this is if you see a woman who is on a ego trip, just recognize it and avoid her and don't get sucked into her issues. Keep your eye open for a woman that is more well adjusted and not having ego issues, and go for that. Just remember that even women who don't have ego issues, will not all be attracted to you, for everyone has their types, and its not personal, its not even conscious, its just the way it is. Its good to not over think stuff :-)

[aridus]

Did not read entire thread, so forgive me if I post in ignorance here.

 

Maybe look into feng shui? Just an idea.

"Difficult things in the world must have their beginnings in the easy;

Big things must have their beginnings in the small."

[Maddie]

Did not read entire thread, so forgive me if I post in ignorance here.

 

Maybe look into feng shui? Just an idea.

"Difficult things in the world must have their beginnings in the easy;

Big things must have their beginnings in the small."

 

Hmmmm yea that would be interesting to explore, as I've heard its applicable in these situations.

[aridus]

Hmmmm yea that would be interesting to explore, as I've heard its applicable in these situations.

Yeah, I figure even if it doesn't solve things entirely by itself, it may be a starting point to get out of a 'rut'. To calm ones self to begin to have a different perspective, at the least. It may be easier for more yang activities to follow it, if needed, if he can at least begin with something.