Non Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) So here is a problem anyone who has problems goes through... Anytime there is someone who wants feedback by simply talking about an issue in his/her life there will always be someone who assumes that the person is doing nothing but sitting on his ass and complaining while being greedy and ego-filled/amoral. It always happens. Especially with men. Anytime he goes and talks about something that's bothering him someone always says: "stop complaining and DO something about it". Haven't you ever thought the person HAS been doing something about it? It's just cliche to go around bashing people who are "being negative" while you're being negative yourself. OK, tell the person to do something about it but don't make it seem like he's doing nothing, and getting even frustrated and negative as you're talking about my own negativity.. I can then tell you to stop complaining and take it like a man, DO something about it, etc. You're just expressing your own ability to not handle a person talking about such issues. What about people who make speeches, are they "merely complaining"? What about people who go to a psychologist and talk issues through are they "merely complaining sitting on their ass not doing anything?" Sure a person might be, but what kind of message does the person get if that's all he gets from the world, that he's never able to be active... All I know is, I do try and I do try hard enough to be frustratetd and people just tell me to deny. Edited February 15, 2011 by Non 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paulno Posted February 15, 2011 Non, a lot of that is that b.s. western machismo get'er done ethic. Its unfortunate that we haven't evolved past that here but in a lot of ways...We haven't. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan T. Posted February 15, 2011 So here is a problem anyone who has problems goes through... Sure a person might be, but what kind of message does the person get if that's all he gets from the world, that he's never able to be active... I guess I don't know if you are talking about those that are close to you that you confide in or coming onto public forums like this one. If you are talking about the latter, you should know that the internet does not necessarily allow for the type of intimacy that is conducive to supportive help with one's problems/life questions. You might find support but you are just as likely to find scorn and taunting. Caveat Emptor! If you are talking about the previous, then you should find other people to talk to who can be more supportive of you as a person. And there is also a HUGE contingency of people in the world(I'm not saying you are one of them) that all they do is complain about things in their lives other than engaging in the act of living. I would say just try to focus on those close to you who care about you. They will give you the balanced opinions that you require. You take your chances with the people of the internet. If you decide to take that chance then you should probably be a little more thick-skinned as it is a gamble as to who will respond. Just like this! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnC Posted February 15, 2011 Dude, What I was talking about was, that you have options. You can intellectualize about it, or go and do it. It seems to me, you would rather post and whine and whimper about this stuff, than actually go find out how the world works. John Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jetsun Posted February 15, 2011 It is true that sometimes when you express problems it can upset people by triggering in them the same unresolved issues so instead of taking it as a gift to help them heal they try to get rid of the problem by trying to stop you talking about it. Also talking about problems can make people feel bad in an empathic way because they don't like to see anothers suffering and don't know how to deal with it, so they try to make you go away to avoid the feelings of helplessness and confusion it can bring. From my own experiences I found that most people don't know how to listen and often use another persons expression of suffering as a way to assert their own view of reality by telling you how to fix yourself rather than listening to you. Perhaps this is an overly pessimistic view but the way I see it is that most people have never turned around and tried to face their own suffering so they have no idea how to help another person. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moonshadow Posted February 15, 2011 So here is a problem anyone who has problems goes through... Anytime there is someone who wants feedback by simply talking about an issue in his/her life there will always be someone who assumes that the person is doing nothing but sitting on his ass and complaining while being greedy and ego-filled/amoral. It always happens. Especially with men. Anytime he goes and talks about something that's bothering him someone always says: "stop complaining and DO something about it". Haven't you ever thought the person HAS been doing something about it? It's just cliche to go around bashing people who are "being negative" while you're being negative yourself. OK, tell the person to do something about it but don't make it seem like he's doing nothing, and getting even frustrated and negative as you're talking about my own negativity.. I can then tell you to stop complaining and take it like a man, DO something about it, etc. You're just expressing your own ability to not handle a person talking about such issues. What about people who make speeches, are they "merely complaining"? What about people who go to a psychologist and talk issues through are they "merely complaining sitting on their ass not doing anything?" Sure a person might be, but what kind of message does the person get if that's all he gets from the world, that he's never able to be active... All I know is, I do try and I do try hard enough to be frustratetd and people just tell me to deny. This is a very interesting perspective. Probably the common responses on an internet forumn as this may have little value?(no matter how well intended) Do you ever receive replies that do have value for you? IMO having a discussion is active and takes guts 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
