How to cultivate love and compassion?

[Kombaiyashii]

Hello fellow Taosists..

 

I've read a lot about scientific evidence about how love stimulates higher brainwaves, how it improves health and everything. It's probably the reason why all those cliches on love are made, in effect I think few people really understand love, there may be glimpses in our poetry and music but there are very few people that really understand and cultivate an abundance of this prescious elixir...

 

Obviously in pop culture we've been conditioned to believe that love is our trophy wife and 2 kids and a dog but as taoists we know that love is part of the infinite energy that comes from the infinite well of nothingness...

 

So I have a few questions for you people...Please answer anyone of them or all of them if compelled...

 

What are you experiences with true love? Has it healed you in anyway or helping your meditations?

 

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

 

Thankyou.

[Jetsun]

It's funny how this post has had no replies while all the ones about enlarging your penis etc have about five pages so quickly

 

From my own experience the strongest love I have experienced is still probably from my parents, but it does feel conditional a lot of the time in that when I don't meet their expectations with something it seems to dry up, much of that may be my interpretation but I can't help but feel that it is not a complete love as it doesn't feel free, often it feels suffocating and repressive.

 

A different less regular experience of love I experienced was when I met the Dalai Lama in that I could feel the compassion from him immediately but what made it different is that it came with absolutely no conditions or projections, whereas with most other people there is often some sort of subtle agenda going on often unconscious where if they give you their love they expect something in return. Whereas with the Dalai Lama it was clear he wanted and expected absolutely nothing from me, so I was utterly free in the experience, so it was a love with no conditions which is a liberating experience.

 

In terms of how it's helped me in my meditations it has shown me that when you empty there is a free detached love underneath which is transformative to other people without you contriving it to do anything, which is more a motivating factor to practice than anything else as I am not at the stage where I can radiate it yet.

Edited February 28, 2011 by Jetsun

[Otis]

What are you experiences with true love? Has it healed you in anyway or helping your meditations?

 

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

 

Thankyou.

It's a little hard to know what "true" love is, but I can speak about the "truest" love I've experienced.

 

What I felt for her is a lot like what I hear that old married couples feel. She was my best friend, the one I wanted to have no secrets from. Being around her made me want to be vulnerable, rather than protected. I did not find myself wishing that she would change, but was happy for her to be her. And perhaps the most clear sign: even when I was angriest with her, I never felt detached from my love for her. That was always alive and awake.

 

Unfortunately, even a pure feeling does not mean that she and I were compatible as a couple. But we remain very good friends, dance partners, and confidantes, to this day, and probably forever.

[Otis]

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

I don't think that any of these are "fake" loves, and they all do illuminate our lives. The more light we have in our lives, the easier it is to love all the events and people in our lives.

 

However, there is probably some limitation to how much benefit practice (or love of nature) will bring, if it doesn't include other people. It is important to love the world, and to love my life, but loving others is a whole other discovery path. I think this is because nature and meditation won't reject our offers of love, whereas the rejection by other people can be devastating.

 

For me, at least, the practice of loving other people only happens when I am willing to allow myself to be vulnerable to others, to share without expectations, and to love unguardedly. That is something I am still just starting to learn about.

[manitou]

It's easy to mix up eros love with agape love. One is inner directed, one is outer directed.

 

As for meditation, meditating on a loving presence isn't a particular practice of mine; my meditations are in the void now; maybe something of a more loving nature will happen in the future.

 

I think the kind of love we're trying to get down to, the non=judgmental and all-accepting love of every single person and thing on this earth - is only attained through self-discovery and realization of self. When our footing is no longer standing on useless stances like resentment or rebellion (because we've managed to remove them), jealousies, wants and desires - then and only then can we get down to pure love.

 

I've been with my husband for about 28 years. We've been married and divorced from each other twice, but we're still together, somehow. My emotional maturity level, from the first days of our relationship up until now, has certainly changed. I've taken the inner work very seriously, and I still do.

 

What I've discovered is that at about the 27th year of our relationship, I suddenly realized that I was still sitting on the fence in many ways having to do with this relationship. Even that far into it. It was only about a year ago when I discovered a deeper type of love for him - not anything that I could particularly 'feel' - but a Decision to truly make a committment to this person, to truly take care of this person, to decide to truly love him. This was only a year ago! The feelings didn't come first - the actions came first! A deeper type of commitment was made - actually by both of us, in some ways - and life has been smooth sailing since then.

 

I can't speak for anybody else - my particular case is rife with alcoholism and a lot of mental and emotional issues over the years - but I know my own ability to love another is part and parcel with the degree to which I know myself....and love myself. I hated myself for my very existence for years; so did Joe, my husband. Through years and years of both of incorporating steps to recovery into our everyday lives (this can be done in any fashion) this grand 'love' experiment of ours is finally really paying off!

 

But even beyond that, love then extends to everything. Having a physical relationship is just a side benefit. This love extends to loving your neighbor and taking his trash in for him if he's not able - or putting on a pair of gloves and picking up garbage in the empty lot across from the supermarket - it doesn't matter. Some type of love force does kick in and it seems to include everyone. Everyone. I can't even hate someone eminently hateable like some horrible dictator, because I realize now that he is merely an extension of myself.

 

When the awareness sets in that we are all One, we are all the same entity, there is nothing to do but Love.

 

Thank you for the topic -

Edited February 28, 2011 by manitou

[Maddie]

It's funny how this post has had no replies while all the ones about enlarging your penis etc have about five pages so quickly

 

From my own experience the strongest love I have experienced is still probably from my parents, but it does feel conditional a lot of the time in that when I don't meet their expectations with something it seems to dry up, much of that may be my interpretation but I can't help but feel that it is not a complete love as it doesn't feel free, often it feels suffocating and repressive.

 

A different less regular experience of love I experienced was when I met the Dalai Lama in that I could feel the compassion from him immediately but what made it different is that it came with absolutely no conditions or projections, whereas with most other people there is often some sort of subtle agenda going on often unconscious where if they give you their love they expect something in return. Whereas with the Dalai Lama it was clear he wanted and expected absolutely nothing from me, so I was utterly free in the experience, so it was a love with no conditions which is a liberating experience.

 

In terms of how it's helped me in my meditations it has shown me that when you empty there is a free detached love underneath which is transformative to other people without you contriving it to do anything, which is more a motivating factor to practice than anything else as I am not at the stage where I can radiate it yet.

 

That was a really cool story about the Dali Lama. Though I have not met him personally, I do love watching him on TV, and reading his books as even through this medium I can feel some of what you were talking about. He has challenged me to strive towards unconditional/universal love that has no expectations :-). As far as a method to cultivate this would go, I would assume working on the heart chakra would be a good way to clear all the obstructions that block the love that is already within us from shining forth :-)

[de_paradise]

Well the method I use is something like the Tibetan kind. What you do is as you are sitting, try to generate feeling of love by picturing someone you love, then as you get that feeling state in your body, try to send the love in other directions, such as to a deity, to the forest, to the entire universe. Try and imagine the enire universe while you are sitting there just loving and appreciting it. You can you imagine yourself as the universe watching a guy sitting on earth who is loving the universe.

 

The practise is strong and effective when you practise and lock onto the strong feeling states,and as the heart chakra opens, the feeling becomes more energetic, less biochemical emotion feeling, so the love feels more like a blissfull cloudiness. But in the begining you can derive the same type love emotions of life, and expand it, and that will lead to greater things.

 

Even while I do stillness types of meditations, I add this practise onto it.

 

When you walk down the street imagine the people you see are enlightened beings shining underneath

their skin. This sets the tone by which you interact with people, and the inner conversations you have yourself.

Edited March 1, 2011 by de_paradise

[manitou]

Well the method I use is something like the Tibetan kind. What you do is as you are sitting, try to generate feeling of love by picturing someone you love, then as you get that feeling state in your body, try to send the love in other directions, such as to a deity, to the forest, to the entire universe. Try and imagine the enire universe while you are sitting there just loving and appreciting it. You can you imagine yourself as the universe watching a guy sitting on earth who is loving the universe.

 

The practise is strong and effective when you practise and lock onto the strong feeling states,and as the heart chakra opens, the feeling becomes more energetic, less biochemical emotion feeling, so the love feels more like a blissfull cloudiness. But in the begining you can derive the same type love emotions of life, and expand it, and that will lead to greater things.

 

Even while I do stillness types of meditations, I add this practise onto it.

 

When you walk down the street imagine the people you see are enlightened beings shining underneath

their skin. This sets the tone by which you interact with people, and the inner conversations you have yourself.

 

Very nice, Paradise.

 

I really like your description of your meditation - I think that particular one would be very useful prior to doing energy work with another. The more we can 'feel the love', the more the energy seems to run through the hands.

 

Your last comment about the enlightened beings being inside us is very Castaneda-esque. He would 'See' the bright junction of the energy body, the assemblage point, within others as well. I do use this same method to realize we are all one; we are all the same bright energy being.

[Otis]

I've been with my husband for about 28 years. We've been married and divorced from each other twice, but we're still together, somehow. My emotional maturity level, from the first days of our relationship up until now, has certainly changed. I've taken the inner work very seriously, and I still do.

 

What I've discovered is that at about the 27th year of our relationship, I suddenly realized that I was still sitting on the fence in many ways having to do with this relationship. Even that far into it. It was only about a year ago when I discovered a deeper type of love for him - not anything that I could particularly 'feel' - but a Decision to truly make a committment to this person, to truly take care of this person, to decide to truly love him. This was only a year ago! The feelings didn't come first - the actions came first! A deeper type of commitment was made - actually by both of us, in some ways - and life has been smooth sailing since then.

That's awesome, Manitou! Great to hear it.

[manitou]

Thanks, Otis - it's been a long journey. A journey of both inspired and uninspired mayhem, lol.

 

I always get a pinge when I see that you're in L.A. - my old stomping grounds. I went to Hollywood High back in the day....

[Otis]

Thanks, Otis - it's been a long journey. A journey of both inspired and uninspired mayhem, lol.

 

I always get a pinge when I see that you're in L.A. - my old stomping grounds. I went to Hollywood High back in the day....

Yeah, I live pretty close to there, in Koreatown. I never went to school around here, though. Came out after film school to work in the biz.

[Stigweard]

Hello fellow Taosists..

 

I've read a lot about scientific evidence about how love stimulates higher brainwaves, how it improves health and everything. It's probably the reason why all those cliches on love are made, in effect I think few people really understand love, there may be glimpses in our poetry and music but there are very few people that really understand and cultivate an abundance of this prescious elixir...

 

Obviously in pop culture we've been conditioned to believe that love is our trophy wife and 2 kids and a dog but as taoists we know that love is part of the infinite energy that comes from the infinite well of nothingness...

 

So I have a few questions for you people...Please answer anyone of them or all of them if compelled...

 

What are you experiences with true love? Has it healed you in anyway or helping your meditations?

 

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

 

Thankyou.

 

Loving kindness is the natural state of a wholesome being. Trying to force love is like trying to make flowers grow faster by yanking up their stems. Remove the obstacles of love though cultivation and self-purification and love will spontaneously arise without effort.

 

[C T]

Compassion is like a spiritual muscle... it needs to be pumped, to be worked on in order to grow. Its love in action. Where expectations and discriminations cease, true kindness reveals itself, just as the sun's brightness and warmth is felt when clouds disperse.

 

Each time an opportunity to practice loving kindness is forsaken, ignored, missed, procrastinated... love dies a little. Its like a purposeful intention to invite and to allow clouds to gather, instead of living in the light that is one's true nature.

 

Practicing compassion does not mean doing great and noble deeds to benefit masses of beings. Sometimes, all it takes is a genuine, heartfelt desire, an inner feeling of intent, for wanting others to experience freedom from anguish, pain, desperation, desolation, hunger, abuse, and last but not least, helplessness. In Buddhist understanding, this is called generating bodhicitta. This is an excellent teaching on the wisdom cultivation of bodhicitta - http://www.lamayeshe.com/index.php?sect=article&id=433&chid=767

 

 

_{Equanimity is not a buddhist thing, not a taoist thing... its not even a thing, dammit - its simply having the even sight to see others as equally deserving of joy and happiness, just as oneself is. Its like an attitude...}

Edited March 2, 2011 by CowTao

[zerostao]

in this process 2 factors are to be taken into account; wisdom and skillful action or intellect and will. if intellect and will are correctly centered, then the emotional life takes on a harmony. consider wisdom and love, justice and mores.

 

the hexagram chien(the creative)"sublime success;perserverance furthers"

 

the effects of wisdom,love,justice are shown. on the basis of all-embracing wisdom, the regulations springing from a love of the world can be shaped to where all goes well for everyone. this is what furthers. wisdom and love excludes no person or thing; these are regulated by the mores,

which do not allow one to be carried away into anything improper or one-sided.

this insures success.

 

when we have harmony of the mind it becomes perfect in wisdom. this rejoices in heaven and understands its dispensations. this provides the basis for perserverance.

 

the love that aquiesces trustingly in every situation and out of this store of

inner kindness will manifest itself in good will towards all men. this attains

the sublime which is the root of all good.

[Maddie]

I had sort of mentioned this in another thread but I felt that it was relevant to this as well, and its what I'm going through at the moment.

I believe that to cultivate love and compassion requires opening the heart chakra. I feel that my heart chakra is in pretty decent shape, but that this issue is still tricky for me, and the reason being is that I'm working on my solar plexus chakra. I've read it many times that you have to work on your lower chakras first, because if you don't, they can cause issue for your higher up chakras.

How can you practice unconditional love and compassion for someone from the heart chakra, if your solar plexus is petty, greedy, controlling, and you have ego issues? I think sometimes the pre-requs for cultiviating love and compassion is to first get rid of the "junk" that gets in the way.

[zerostao]

I had sort of mentioned this in another thread but I felt that it was relevant to this as well, and its what I'm going through at the moment.

I believe that to cultivate love and compassion requires opening the heart chakra. I feel that my heart chakra is in pretty decent shape, but that this issue is still tricky for me, and the reason being is that I'm working on my solar plexus chakra. I've read it many times that you have to work on your lower chakras first, because if you don't, they can cause issue for your higher up chakras.

How can you practice unconditional love and compassion for someone from the heart chakra, if your solar plexus is petty, greedy, controlling, and you have ego issues? I think sometimes the pre-requs for cultiviating love and compassion is to first get rid of the "junk" that gets in the way.

i think for most folks "heart issues" can be very tricky and hard to understand. you seem to have a good grasp of understanding here. the "little things" do add up over time and lead to attainment. continue to practice the compassionate little things and let go of the greedy little things.

[RiverSnake]

I had sort of mentioned this in another thread but I felt that it was relevant to this as well, and its what I'm going through at the moment.

I believe that to cultivate love and compassion requires opening the heart chakra. I feel that my heart chakra is in pretty decent shape, but that this issue is still tricky for me, and the reason being is that I'm working on my solar plexus chakra. I've read it many times that you have to work on your lower chakras first, because if you don't, they can cause issue for your higher up chakras.

How can you practice unconditional love and compassion for someone from the heart chakra, if your solar plexus is petty, greedy, controlling, and you have ego issues? I think sometimes the pre-requs for cultiviating love and compassion is to first get rid of the "junk" that gets in the way.

 

I found both in reading and experience that it is important to develop the heart chakra not only becuase its essential to cultivate happiness but also because it guides all of the other chakras.

 

-If you don't have an open heart then wisdom and power will lead you astray into the land of ego. Wisdom, Power and Love must always be in balance.

 

-When i was doing my meditations for an hour a day i would use my mala beads and recite this affirmation: "I love myself and give my love freely to others."I used visualization and feeling to enhance its power. In just a couple weeks i benefited from that greatly it allowed to be more positive and give in a purer way.

 

-My purest experience of love i'd say has been just giving people a friendly smile as i walk about and getting to see them give me a big juicy smile in return. Its unconditional because i will probably never see that person again, but i was still able to give something free of charge.

[zerostao]

I found both in reading and experience that it is important to develop the heart chakra not only becuase its essential to cultivate happiness but also because it guides all of the other chakras.

 

-If you don't have an open heart then wisdom and power will lead you astray into the land of ego. Wisdom, Power and Love must always be in balance.

 

-When i was doing my meditations for an hour a day i would use my mala beads and recite this affirmation: "I love myself and give my love freely to others."I used visualization and feeling to enhance its power. In just a couple weeks i benefited from that greatly it allowed to be more positive and give in a purer way.

 

-My purest experience of love i'd say has been just giving people a friendly smile as i walk about and getting to see them give me a big juicy smile in return. Its unconditional because i will probably never see that person again, but i was still able to give something free of charge.

[The Observer]

Hello fellow Taosists..

 

I've read a lot about scientific evidence about how love stimulates higher brainwaves, how it improves health and everything. It's probably the reason why all those cliches on love are made, in effect I think few people really understand love, there may be glimpses in our poetry and music but there are very few people that really understand and cultivate an abundance of this prescious elixir...

 

Obviously in pop culture we've been conditioned to believe that love is our trophy wife and 2 kids and a dog but as taoists we know that love is part of the infinite energy that comes from the infinite well of nothingness...

 

So I have a few questions for you people...Please answer anyone of them or all of them if compelled...

 

What are you experiences with true love? Has it healed you in anyway or helping your meditations?

 

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

 

Thankyou.

 

One of the most wonderful experiences I had with true love (the purest form I've experienced) was when I reach a high degree of one-pointedness in meditation and I blissfully forgot everything. The other was when I was in a OBE/lucid dreaming state and I used the power of love to protect myself from a very troubled entity.

 

A good inspiration for creating feelings of love, is constant mindfulness on the inter connectedness of all things. Know that when you love another, you love the whole of existence and when you love yourself (truly, truly, genuinely love yourself) you love whole of existence. Selflessness is the embodiment of true love.

[The Observer]

One of the most wonderful experiences I had with true love (the purest form I've experienced) was when I reach a high degree of one-pointedness in meditation and I blissfully forgot everything. The other was when I was in a OBE/lucid dreaming state and I used the power of love to protect myself from a very troubled entity.

 

A good inspiration for creating feelings of love, is constant mindfulness on the inter connectedness of all things. Know that when you love another, you love the whole of existence and when you love yourself (truly, truly, genuinely love yourself) you love the whole of existence. Selflessness is the embodiment of true love.

 

 

-Woops sorry double post please delete-

Edited March 7, 2011 by The Observer

[doc benway]

Hello fellow Taosists..

 

I've read a lot about scientific evidence about how love stimulates higher brainwaves, how it improves health and everything. It's probably the reason why all those cliches on love are made, in effect I think few people really understand love, there may be glimpses in our poetry and music but there are very few people that really understand and cultivate an abundance of this prescious elixir...

 

Obviously in pop culture we've been conditioned to believe that love is our trophy wife and 2 kids and a dog but as taoists we know that love is part of the infinite energy that comes from the infinite well of nothingness...

 

So I have a few questions for you people...Please answer anyone of them or all of them if compelled...

 

What are you experiences with true love? Has it healed you in anyway or helping your meditations?

 

I find it hard to find inspiration for creating love, is creating love while in meditation as good as feeling love for when you see a beutiful rainbow or something in nature? Or is this love a fake kind of love? If it's not a fake kind of love, would you say to build love, would the best thing to use be something of symbolic importance such as the yinyang or diety?

 

Thankyou.

My thoughts FWIW...

 

I know of only one way to cultivate true love and compassion.

Go very deeply into yourself and find out exactly who and what you are.

This needs to be a very profound investigation.

There are lots of "methods" to do this but a method doesn't do the work for you.

Being totally aware of everything inside and around you on a prolonged basis is what is needed.

It's a lot of work but you don't have to DO anything. Just watch, listen, pay attention to everything that is in and around you.

Your own moods, feelings, thoughts, movtivation, behavior patterns, conditioning - all of it.

But just as important - the trees and birds, stars and people - pleasure, pain, terror, exploitation.

See it all for what it is.

Don't just say the words in your head that you see written or hear spoken. It needs to be felt and experienced and that can only come through awareness and attention.

When you realize who YOU are or better stated, who I is - there is true love and compassion.

No other way.

 

Very nice to see this question asked...

Edited March 7, 2011 by steve f

[Maddie]

At the moment I'm working on cultivating self love and self compassion, anyone know of good ways to do that?

 

I was reading this book yesterdy and I forgot the authors name, but it was good, it was called "Love just because" and she told the story about this woman who's liver just failed on her. She got a transplant and after a year that liver was beginning to fail on her too. The woman had heard that in Chinese Medicine the liver was related to anger, and realized she had, had a lot of self/repressed anger stored up inside her. She realized a lot of her anger was self anger, and as she realized this she began to release it and forgive herself. The doctors were amazed because after she did this her liver became healthy again and they did not need to do the transplant. :-)

Edited March 7, 2011 by dmattwads