What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

[Nungali]

Moderator 'discipline'  .... from another site ;

 

'Dont make repeat posts . You told that joke before . '  and with a link to the previous post ......   3 years back  !  

 

Talk about 'being on my case '   !      

 

 

[Taomeow]

Isn't smart technology wonderful?

 

[Nungali]

Easter - Hot cross buns.

 

I bought some , toasted them, put on butter, tried some  .....

 

What is wrong with these ? I looked at the packet more closely ; fruitless and spice free hot cross buns .

 

 

 

At least they went to the trouble to put a cross on them .

[Cobie]

 .

Edited March 27, 2023 by Cobie

[doc benway]

https://stunning.sci-nature.com/2023/03/physicist-wins-ig-noble-prize-for-study.html?fbclid=IwAR3MK0S5T7EQPOsY5LxoCW00B_voB6a1wvFHNtnvJ7NVyBwcLYS_iXX3jXM

[kakapo]

 

[doc benway]

[Taomeow]

 

[Taomeow]

[Nungali]

Moral : Make sure you ask about your LUCKY numbers , not your unlucky ones .

 

cause unlucky numbers can also give lotto wins

 

- the ones where the windfall leads to disaster anyway  .

[Taomeow]

15 hours ago, Nungali said:

Moral : Make sure you ask about your LUCKY numbers , not your unlucky ones .

 

cause unlucky numbers can also give lotto wins

 

- the ones where the windfall leads to disaster anyway  .

 

I've had this experience with the I Ching many times.  You always get an accurate answer -- but sometimes you get the answer to the deeper question you should have asked at the moment instead of the one you asked.  In hindsight it becomes clear what it was that the oracle told you that you didn't understand until it came to pass. 

 

An example comes to mind.  In 2010 when there was a lot of speculation about the Mayan calendar prophecy for 2012 I asked the I Ching if I should take it seriously.  The answer was, basically, "for ten years, don't bother your lil' brain with TEOTWAWKI, focus on your own private affairs.  In ten years' time, ask me again."  Who would remember come 2020?..  But  I did.        

[Taomeow]

[Invisible Acropolis]

[doc benway]

[Nungali]

Some might find this offensive .... so be warned   ( but I laughed my arse off )

 

Spoiler

I have a young female friend that stays in a hut on this  older guys farm .  I think he is a creep and I was a little concerned about him 'invading the privacy' of my friend . She tells me she sorted him out though .  She looks a lot younger and more innocent than she is  ... she appears  to be a shy retired type ; he rings her up first (good ) and says he is going to drop in to ask her something  ( while his wife is out    ) .

 

When he gets there she tells him  " Just as well you rang  first, thats a good idea , keep doing that  as .... for example, today I am having my period  ... and its VERY heavy  ... and also sometimes I like to make a blood mask out of it  and wear it on my face  ... for my skin condition  ... than can erupt in sores  and  .....   "

 

 

 

She said he sorta   convulsed  internally and    'got otta there' very quickly  !  

 

 

 

 

[Nungali]

I am watching  'Vietnam Journey' - a cooking show :

 

A traditional  dish from some village , you must have this special clay type baked ceramic pot / wok thing .  ( yeah okay ) You must cook over hot coals .... it won't be the same otherwise . ( yeah .... all right then   )  You must  put a certain local leaf in the bottom of the pot  ... it won't work otherwise and it won;t be the traditional taste   ( yeah sure ! .... get on with it !  )  .

Now, take a whole chicken and place it in the pot .  (okay )

 

" Now , add a can of coca-cola  ...  it doesnt have to be coca-cola , any cola will do ,  but traditionally , it is coca-cola  ...  "  (   )

 

 

[manitou]

On 5/22/2023 at 2:52 PM, Nungali said:

" Now , add a can of coca-cola  ...  it doesnt have to be coca-cola , any cola will do ,  but traditionally , it is coca-cola  ...  "  (   )

 

 

If I'm reading this correctly, it would have to be Coke Classic.  Keep that little village traditional.

[Nungali]

Designer swimwear 

 

 

 

..... by Salvador Dali

 

 

 

 

 

 

[S:C]

“Are you on TikTok?” - “…” 

 

Edited June 12, 2023 by schroedingerscat
Deleted the humorous aspect because it could be viewed as controversial. The most effective aspect of freedom of speech is self censorship. For the future I hope to stay a silent observer. Stellar wind bubbles don’t talk. Neither do half-dead cats.

[silent thunder]

34 minutes ago, schroedingerscat said:

Are you on TikTok?” - “…” 

nope

35 minutes ago, schroedingerscat said:

Stellar wind bubbles don’t talk. Neither do half-dead cats.

hmm... is half dead similar to half pregnant?

[Nungali]

Intruding on women's  conversation about coffee :

 

Woman 1 ;  "  I am not on top of it this morning  , I haven't had my coffee fix  yet ."

 

Woman 2  :  " Oh yeah .... I actually won't leave the house until I have had my morning coffee ."

 

Woman 3  :   " I am hopeless ..... I cant even talk or get my pants on until I have a coffee ."

 

Me :  " Well ..... as you know, I have had a few girl friends in my time  ......

 

.... and I have never found the lack of ability to do either of those things to be a problem  . "

 

Woman 1, 2 & 3 ;    

[Nungali]

23 hours ago, stellarwindbubble said:

“Are you on TikTok?” - “…” 

 

 

 

So ..... that cat IS actually dead now .

 

Quick ! Someone tell Schrodinger !  .... if you open the box after two years , cat will have turned into   a stellar wind bubble

[doc benway]

Werner Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.

The cop says, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am."

 

[Nungali]

Okay then .....

 

3 physicists  and 3 mathematicians  go on holiday together . They decide to go by train . At the station the physicists all buy a ticket but the mathematicians  only buy one ticket .

 

" How will that work out ?" The physicists ask them . " One ticket can not cover three people ."

 

" You will see. " They replied .

 

On the train they see the conductor coming down the carriage checking tickets , the physicists hand over their tickets , but the mathematicians have slipped off to the toilet and are all crowded in there hiding .  The conductor eventually knocks on the door, a hand comes out  and hands over the ticket , he inspects it and hands it back .

 

On the holiday the physicists admit it was pretty smart , but still affirm that physics is superior to math .  How, they are asked .

"You will see . "

 

On the way back, again the mathematicians only buy one one ticket , but the physicists dont buy any tickets  .

 

" How will that work ? "  they are asked .

 

" You will see . "

 

They see the conductor coming so all three mathematicians crowd into the toilet . All three physicists crowd into the other toilet .

 

- after a moment one physicist emerges, goes to the other toilet and knocks on the door  and in a deep voice ;

" Ticket please ."   a hand comes out with the ticket , the physicist takes the ticket and returns to their toilet .

 

[SlowBear]

This place was named with no understanding of innuendo or wordplay.