What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

[Nungali]

( see previous post )

 

Think yourself lucky ! 

 

It could have been Tim Hartridge !   In the old 'Pagan is pop' days   ( some local inner city hotels in Sydney even had 'Pagans at the Pub ' nights ! Cheap sleazy mags published psuedo stories  of 'nekkid witches '  . Trucker mags claimed wild women living out on the Nullabour Plain  in the middle of Oz that would  jump out  semi naked on the road  and do .... well ... whatever a  speed crazed truckies mind might imagine .

 

Into this world, enter good old Tim, whose  hobby seemed to be 'networking' such events for those 'interested' . The word would go out ... a meeting of ( which ever group name they worked under  or made up at the time  ) at   ( a cemetery, a park, somewhere 'concealed' but public .  Some would be ready for action   but there was usually a contingent of suckers there who follishly came along with others or got attracted by curiosity . Then the 'paganism' would begin ,  with scantily clad girls , much  drinking and carrying on with the newcomers and observers somewhat bewildered .

 

Then the reporters and 'journalists' (of those seedy magazines mentioned above  ) would jump out the bushes - as Tim had informed them of the event as well .  People would scatter, Tim would pose in cape and fangs  and pictures would be snapped .

 

next issue , girlie trucker magazine has front page sensation !   A bunch of idiots, Tim , maybe a picture of some innocent  person looking bewildered and trying to escape or shield from having their image snapped  and of course the silly  tag headline .

 

My favorite one was  ;  ' Tits out witches bonk naked on gravestones ! '

 

I have to say, in my time I have become familiar with traditional witches, Gardenerian witches , even Alexandrian witches  .....  but not the 'Tits- out witches '

 

I am assuming they come from the old province of Titsout in Saxony ? 

 

.

Edited September 4 by Nungali

[Giles]

 

[liminal_luke]

Why is it hard to get a straight answer out of teachers of trigonometry?

 

Answer: They´re always going off on tangents.

 

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Why do the children of trigonometry teachers never have trouble getting car loans?

 

Answer: Their parents are always willing to co-sign.

 

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Why do geometry teachers make lousy life partners?

 

Answer: Rather than simply talking from the heart, they always have an angle.

 

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How do loggers weigh the trees they cut?

 

Answer: A logarithmic scale.

 

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Why do math teachers think Trump understands advanced mathematics and is, in general, more intelligent than he first appears?

 

Answer:  When asked for a figure, he always gives an imaginary number.

Edited September 13 by liminal_luke

[Elysium]

[Taomeow]

[Nungali]

Yeah ....  that would probably work .

 

I helped a mate move , took my trailer and  small  all wheel drive vehicle for him to borrow , while I used his car (no tow bar ) . We loaded it up,  I said 'Drive carefully in my car '   he went to take off and  'Grudddge ! "  then again ... and again  

 

"What the hell are you doing ?"

 

Him "  Is this a manual ?  " 

"What ? You cant tell from the pedals and the gear lever  !?    "

[Thrice Daily]

“Bill Gates probably shouldn’t be giving health advice” 

 

Joe Rogan 31st October 2024

 

To me this part of the podcast [54 minutes in exactly]. #2221 was laugh out loud funny 😆 I don’t usually laugh listening to him. But that was funny.

[心神 ~]

 

 

[Taomeow]

[Nungali]

Is thanksgiving  dinner like Christmas dinner ?

 

I used to work at the hospital over Christmas  (as I didnt like Christmas , and penalty rates for working then skyrocket ) .   people all getting together that do not normally, or even may not want to ... but  ;  'family' !  .... 'Christmas'  .

 

I won't detail what a Christmas dinner can lead to  (  as it didnt make me laugh ) , let's just say I would be busy in  emergency and mortuary .

 

(  aside from other reasons , like sport, motor vehicle / recreational accidents. )

 

Stay safe folks  - dont let your drunk turkey drive at Christmas !

 

[Taomeow]

.

Edited 17 hours ago by Taomeow

[Nungali]

I remember  our small nuclear family one year having the woman next  join us , for some unusual reason .  I must have been about 14 .

For some other unusual reason she started talking about the bright future with nuclear power , my parents nodded and agreed .  I asked " But what about all the radio-active waste ? " Only to get a  'shuuut - uuuuup ! ' glare from my parents .  The woman then offered ; "Well, they will store it  and in the future scientists will figure out how to dispose of it . "   parents nod .  But not little Nungers  - you all know what I am like !

 

" So, the plan is to dump it into our future and make it our problem ? "   She was flustered , I was told to not talk at the table any more  and woman continued in silence looking indignant at my rudeness .

 

Later my parents told me I had been very rude  " Me ? Rude ? She was the one suggesting dumping nuclear waste on my generation ! "

 

I was told it was not appropriate to talk to my elders like that . . .  especially on  ' Christmas day ' .

 

 

[Taomeow]

.

 

Edited 17 hours ago by Taomeow

[Nungali]

Oh oh !  Someone tell a joke , quick ! 

[Thrice Daily]

There are 6 people, and 2 dogs, and one Umbrella, they aren't under the Umbrella, how is it they don't get wet?

 

I asked this one my daughter today, we figured it out. It made me laugh. She wasn't convinced.

[Nungali]

Why would they be 'getting wet ' anyway   ?  

[Thrice Daily]

Just now, Nungali said:

Why would they be 'getting wet ' anyway   ?  

Exactly. I knew the answer, 'it's not raining' but i held back from saying it, in the name of discovery. 

 

I had a dad who used to mercilessly beat me at any game we played. That was his strategy and I'm cool with that.

 

Doesn't leave much space to explore skill and strategy though, I prefer to go that route. Riddles are great for this though...  

Did I tell you I went to Socrates house once??

[Nungali]

Okay then ....

 

'No , I dont believe you did tell me that , and what did you find there ? "

[Nungali]

What they used to call 'it'  ; 

 

1. Give someone a green gown (1351)
2. Play nug-a-nug (1505)
3. Play the pyrdewy (1512)
4. Play at couch quail (1521)
5. Ride below the crupper (1578)
6. Board a land carrack (1604)
7. Fadoodling (1611)
8. Put the devil into hell (1616)
9. Night physic (1621)
10. Princum-prancum (1630)
11. Culbatizing exercise (1653)
12. Join paunches (1656)
13. Dance the Paphian jig (1656)
14. Play at tray trip of a die (1660)
15. Dance Barnaby (1664)
16. Shot twixt wind and water (1665)
17. Play at rantum-scantum (1667)
18. Blow off the groundsills (1674)
19. Play hey gammer cook (1674)
20. Join giblets (1680)
21. Play at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch (1684)
22. Lerricompoop (1694)
23. Ride a dragon upon St. George (1698)
24. Houghmagandy (1700)
25. Pogue the hone (1719)
26. Make feet for children’s stockings (1785)
27. Dance the kipples (1796)
28. Have one’s corn ground (1800)
29. Horizontal refreshment (1863)
30. Arrive at the end of the sentimental journey (1896)
31. Get one’s ashes hauled (1910)

[Apech]

M said she wanted to get her nails done.  So I drove her at top speed to the doctors.

’what are we doing here’ she asked.

’man he cure’

[zerostao]

Give me coffee to change the things I can

And weed to accept the things I can't change