What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

[cold]

Lady Bird Johnson

[Apech]

[C T]

"In my next life I want to live my life in reverse. I want to start off dead and get that out of the way.

 I'd wake up in an old folks' home, and with each passing day I'll feel better and younger.

Then I get kicked out for being under-qualified, which means I'll be eligible to collect my pension.

When that money runs out, I'll get a job, gold watch, and a massive pre-retirement party, with benefits on all sides.

I'd work at this for 40 years until Im young enough to enjoy my retirement.

I'll have lots of options - I can party all night every night, and be promiscuous with no worries.  

Or travel the world, eat to my heart's content, and not worry about ill health. 

 

Then I'd attend high school, fool around again with the gals, followed by primary school,

become a kid and act all nerdy. Eventually I become a baby until I am born.

I'll spend the last 9 months of my life floating in luxurious spa-like conditions, with central heating

and room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and VOILA!! The perfect ending happens,

and I finish off as an orgasm." 

 

~ anon 

[blue eyed snake]

[silent thunder]

1 hour ago, C T said:

"In my next life I want to live my life in reverse. I want to start off dead and get that out of the way.

 I'd wake up in an old folks' home, and with each passing day I'll feel better and younger.

Then I get kicked out for being under-qualified, which means I'll be eligible to collect my pension.

When that money runs out, I'll get a job, gold watch, and a massive pre-retirement party, with benefits on all sides.

I'd work at this for 40 years until Im young enough to enjoy my retirement.

I'll have lots of options - I can party all night every night, and be promiscuous with no worries.  

Or travel the world, eat to my heart's content, and not worry about ill health. 

 

Then I'd attend high school, fool around again with the gals, followed by primary school,

become a kid and act all nerdy. Eventually I become a baby until I am born.

I'll spend the last 9 months of my life floating in luxurious spa-like conditions, with central heating

and room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and VOILA!! The perfect ending happens,

and I finish off as an orgasm." 

 

~ anon 

I believe that is George Carlin... in my opinion, the modern equivalent of Chuang Tzu in his piercing observations of the ridiculousness of social structures and conditioning.

[9th]

 

[Marblehead]

You like sax?

 

this is the man to listen to:

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Marblehead]

This really happened:

 

The other day I went to a Pep Boys Auto supply store looking for a specific flashlight.

 

I entered the store, asked the cashier where the flashlights were.

 

He said, "Um, isle 2B."

 

I responded:  "Or not 2B."

 

He hesitated then said:  "That is the question."

 

 

[Taomeow]

We appear to be so unimaginative dividing the country according to only one principle...  you know which one.   

Compare our dichotomy to the  Eight Ways to Divide Italy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Marblehead]

From my experience with the Italians, only the Romans and Sicilians pretend they aren't Italians.

 

[Taomeow]

They don't pretend.  They just remember that until 1861 there was no such thing as "Italians" (except in the area of the peninsula conquered by Ostrogoths, a Germanic tribe, which they named the Kingdom of Italy.  Italians who lived there were actually Germans...  except there was no Germany until 1871...  European history is mighty confusing, but one thing is certain:  most people believe they are what they are told they are, but if they dig deeper, they might find out that they are, almost invariably, something entirely else.  Some simply remember who they really are...  but those are the tiniest minority.  Everybody else is something made up, mostly.) 

 

[9th]

 

[zerostao]

 

[shazlor]

 

[zerostao]

[zerostao]

https://www.boredpanda.com/comedy-wildlife-photography-awards-winners-2017/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=thinkinghumanity

 

[CloudHands]

6

Edited April 15, 2018 by CloudHands

[zerostao]

[neti neti]

[七星門]

[Kar3n]

[rainbowvein]

 

[Marblehead]

That's like trying to run away from your shadow.

 

[Starjumper]

 

The horizontal lines on the neck indicate sickness at a deep level.

Edited March 18, 2018 by Starjumper

[LAOLONG]

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/933515/homer-simpson-driving-licence-police-milton-keynes