Taomeow Posted December 11, 2019 Russia's greatest love machine 3 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spiraltao Posted December 12, 2019 I laughed far too loud at this meme. (no user ever) 3 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AngelsView Posted December 12, 2019 The last thing she says is the funniest. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 14, 2019 Walking through the park out the front of Library . A young teenage couple sitting on a bench, she has short shorts on, he is transfixed with running his fingers up and down her skin, just above her knee , she looks like she is about to go into an altered state Then she jumps and pushes his hand away and says something, they both look up and look ghastly as an older man comes up the path. I am guessing its her father . He stops and looks at the boy ; " Be careful there ..... that's some of my best work ! " I dont think the boy got it ..... he looked totally freaked out . 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 18, 2019 An old president joke (for Bush ) but probably relevant to .... you know who ; President : Anything in the news today ? Aid ; Three Brazilian soldiers where killed 'peacekeeping' in Iraq. Pres; ' What ! Thats sooooo bad , why the hell didnt any one tell me this before , we are going to have to mobilize ! Aid ; Ummmm .... its just three Brazilian soldiers , whats the big deal ? Pres. Huh ? Oh ? Ummmm , remind me again, how many million are in a brazillion 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted December 25, 2019 On 12/24/2019 at 8:32 PM, Nungali said: That was actually adorable. Painful, but adorable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 25, 2019 On 12/25/2019 at 7:03 PM, manitou said: That was actually adorable. Painful, but adorable. I liked the scan of the audience faces at the end; they all be like " WTF was that ! " ... even the baby ! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 28, 2019 I went to the doctor once for heat rash . He was gruff and uninterested ... so ( he he he ) ... he writes out a prescription and says "Put this on it ." I took off my shirt and applied the prescription to the rash ..... " It isnt working doctor ! " So he gives me the strangest look and then ; " No , take THAT to the chemist and he will give you a lotion and you have to put THE LOTION on the rash . " Me ; " Ooooooh ! Okay then . " 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 28, 2019 (edited) and now for something completely different and rude * bad language and political incorrectness warning * Reveal hidden contents Steve is a bear hunter , one day he goes into the forest , shoots a bear and is kneeling down about to skin it and he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its a bear . The bear says to him " Who the hell are you and what do you think you are doing ?" " I am Steve the bear hunter and I getting a bear skin . " " Not in this forest you dont ! And just look what you have done to my mate ! You are not getting away with this , either I tear you to shreds for a slow and painful death ... or .... I bear butt fuck you . " " Well, thats not much of a choice , but I dont want to die ." So he pulls his pants down and .... A while later, after he has recovered he thinks " Blast that damn bear, he butt fucked me ! I am gonna go back there and teach him a lesson, I will shoot and skin HIM ! " So he does . As he is about to skin the bear he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its the bear again ; "YOU ! AGAIN ? I cant believe you come back and did this after your last warning . OK what will it be then, shredded to death or bear butt fuck ?" " God damn it " says Steve and pulls his pants down again . About a month later he is still stewing on it ; "That God damn bear ! He has butt fucked me twice now ... THIS TIME I am really gonna get him ." So he does . As he is about to skin the bear he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its the bear again ; " Steve , at some stage you are gonna have to look at why you REALLY keep coming back to this forest . " Edited December 28, 2019 by Nungali 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 28, 2019 On 12/28/2019 at 3:27 AM, Nungali said: and now for something completely different and rude * bad language and political incorrectness warning * Reveal hidden contents Steve is a bear hunter , one day he goes into the forest , shoots a bear and is kneeling down about to skin it and he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its a bear . The bear says to him " Who the hell are you and what do you think you are doing ?" " I am Steve the bear hunter and I getting a bear skin . " " Not in this forest you dont ! And just look what you have done to my mate ! You are not getting away with this , either I tear you to shreds for a slow and painful death ... or .... I bear butt fuck you . " " Well, thats not much of a choice , but I dont want to die ." So he pulls his pants down and .... A while later, after he has recovered he thinks " Blast that damn bear, he butt fucked me ! I am gonna go back there and teach him a lesson, I will shoot and skin HIM ! " So he does . As he is about to skin the bear he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its the bear again ; "YOU ! AGAIN ? I cant believe you come back and did this after your last warning . OK what will it be then, shredded to death or bear butt fuck ?" " God damn it " says Steve and pulls his pants down again . About a month later he is still stewing on it ; "That God damn bear ! He has butt fucked me twice now ... THIS TIME I am really gonna get him ." So he does . As he is about to skin the bear he feels a very large and heavy grip on his shoulder from behind , he turns and its the bear again ; " Steve , at some stage you are gonna have to look at why you REALLY keep coming back to this forest . " It was more than just bearable for him. 2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted December 28, 2019 (edited) After that politically incorrect Earl Grey (but, completely acceptable and funny) joke , it is now time to get punny: 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 5. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." Edited December 28, 2019 by moment 1 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted December 28, 2019 Oh, Oh the punomentum has me . I will try to put on the brakes. But until I stop: What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.” 2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent thunder Posted December 28, 2019 On 12/28/2019 at 6:18 AM, moment said: Oh, Oh the punomentum has me . I will try to put on the brakes. But until I stop: What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.” After handing the vendor a twenty for the dog, he inquired... "where's my change?" "Change must come from within, grasshopper." the Vendor replied. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 28, 2019 So, as we know, there's one racist joke that's acceptable. It usually goes like this: "How do all racist jokes begin? " The person saying it looks around as though they were checking if it's safe or if someone from the group they're joking about are in ear shot. Yes, that's the joke. All you do is look around suspiciously. I told this to a bunch of friends who were visiting from the states. Before I could do the looking around part... One said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Earl Grey! A racist joke! I didn't know that minorities told racist jokes too!" I told them, "Oh, we do, but the thing is, if someone hears it, the people they'll suspect and get mad at are you guys, not me." 3 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
